The Little Sister
by Eowyn628
Summary: Half Sack is dead and his little sister, Kylee comes back from Northern Ireland for his funeral where she meets SAMCRO. She finds herself falling for one of the members, Juice before returning to N. Ireland. When she returns home...she finds she wants nothing more to return to Charming and to the arms of Juice.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: 

I could not believe he was gone. I stared at my brother's body lying there, so pale. So still and cold in the casket. How could Kip die? How could he leave me alone in this world? He was the only flesh and blood I had left in the world. Granted we hadn't been close since I moved to Ireland but he was still my older brother. Tears fell down my cheeks and dripped on to the leather cut that laid on his casket. My brother was a prospect of the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club, however his cut said he was a member. He would have told me if they had made him a full member, so they must have bestowed that honor on him after he died. Go figure. Kip would send me emails about what he was up to from time to time and he mentioned the members…his family fondly. I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked around the room. I didn't know any of the men or women he was so proud to know. I was sure they didn't know who I was or that I even existed. I had heard about my brother's death from a member of Sons of Anarchy's Northern Ireland Charter. My boyfriend, Liam worked closely with them; my best friend, Trinity was the daughter of one of their founding members. I had made it to Charming just in time for his funeral. It would have broken my heart if I wasn't around to say good-bye to Kip. My Kip.

"Who's the brunette?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned my head and saw a blonde haired, blue eyed man wearing the same cut as my brothers staring straight at me. He was the vice president according to his flash across the top of his right pocket. A little young for a VP but then again what did I know.

"Not sure, but she is hot. Do you think Sack had a piece of ass that we didn't know about?" A tall light skinned, Latino looking man spoke. He had tribal tattoos on either side of his head and his dark hair was shaved in a short Mohawk.

I felt butterflies flurry in my stomach when he looked at me. Instead of letting them talk about me like I wasn't there; I walked up to them and set them straight. "I am not Kip's piece of ass. I am his younger sister, Kylee." The thought of being a piece of ass for my brother made bile rise in my throat. "Gross." I shook my head in distain, I did not want to think about Kip getting ass for that matter.

They both chuckled. The blonde introduced himself, offering me his hand. "I'm Jax. It's nice to meet you, I think he mentioned once about having a sister but that was a long time ago." He shook my hand, "I'm sorry about your loss."

"Yeah, thanks. We weren't too close any more. When I turned 17, I moved to Ireland and he went into the army. We talked and emailed each other a few times a year but he was the only blood I had left. Now I just have my family in the North. Hell, I haven't been back stateside for 8 years." My muttered American-Irish lilt should have given that away. I had easily picked up the Irish mannerisms.

"That's a nice accent you have." The tattoo guy said. He was trying to flirt with me, his eyes were soaking me in.

"Are you hitting on my boy-o? Do you really think my brother's funeral is the place to do it?" I raised an eye brow at him.

"I…um yeah." He stumbled on his word but didn't lie. There was a first, a man who didn't lie to me or shadow the truth with lies. He seemed slightly nervous; he fidgeted a bit but then smiled. Oh my god. That smile was like a thousand watt light bulb, it lit up the room. He was extremely attractive, if I wasn't with Liam; I would have made a move on him myself.

"Don't listen to Juice, he's a shit head." Jax teased as he gave Juice a playful shove. "We're having a party tonight in honor of your brother if you would like to come." I smiled, but was hesitant to accept the offer. I knew how the SAMBEL parties were and they were not really my scene. They always had sweet butts everywhere; the scantily clad women who wanted nothing more to find one of the club members to make her his old lady. They were willing to screw any of the Sons; hell they would fuck all of them in one night if that meant they could be an old lady or had a glimmer of hope of becoming one. I never saw what was good about being an old lady of a member of SOA, seemed like too much trouble. "We don't bite." Jax teased.

"Speak for yourself, Jax." Juice winked at me. My stomach dropped but I kept a straight face. That man was going to be the death of me. I could feel myself making bad decisions already and I had spoken to him for all of three seconds.

"I'll think about it. And you…"I turned to Juice, his eyes got big as I got close to him and quietly said, "I bite too." I smirked at him as I turned to go back to Kip's casket to say my final good byes. After I told my brother that I loved him, I had to get away from the people and the chaos. As I was leaving the funeral home, I saw Juice, "you can pick me up at my brother's house before the party." The stared at me with a look of disbelief. "You do know where he lived?" He smirked and then nodded.  
What happens in America stays in America, I thought to myself.  
My phone rang as soon as I thought that, it was Liam.

"Hello Love." I heard on the other side of the phone, he was rather chipper. Far from the man I left 36 hours before.

"Hi Liam. How's things?" I asked quietly sitting on the hood of my rental car.

"Oh you know same old. How are things in Charming?"

"Sad. It was hard saying goodbye to Kip. I thought he would always around for me." My brother had always seemed so invincible. The last time I saw him was when he was in a hospital in Germany during his stint in Afghanistan where he was wounded in action. He lost half of his sack.

"When will you be home?" Liam asked, there was the Liam I knew. Always wanting to know when, where and why.

"Do miss me love?" I asked trying to lighten his mood.

"Of course I do. I don't know what to do with myself without you here." Lies. He probably already bedded some whore. They were always throwing themselves at him so why not? I mean we were not on the best of terms at that moment anyway.

"I should be home in a week. I just have to clean out my brother's house, I will most likely leave it all to SAMCRO."

"Watch yourself around them, darlin'. You know how they make girls welcome." He reminded me. I turned back and looked at Juice who was talking to a tall man with a thick beard and long hair. He had the hand of a petite brunette woman who was dressed more like a house wife than a biker's old lady.

"I know love. I can handle myself. You know that." I reminded him. I knew how to defend myself thanks to Kip.

"I am well aware of how well you can handle yourself. Well Kyle, I will talk to you tomorrow then. I love you." What? He hadn't said he loved me in months. It had to be his way of trying to reign me in. Those words meant nothing from him at that point. They were just words.

"Me too." I hung up my phone, I took a deep breath and got in to the rental but not before stealing one more glance at Juice. Good God!

I didn't feel guilty about asking Juice to pick me up. Things between Liam and I were rough and well down right intolerable. He had changed and the phone call was just his way of reminding me he had control over me. I was grateful for the distance I had between us. That distance was giving me a sense of freedom and liberation I had not felt in years.

For the first time I was excited to see what Charming had to give to me. I had never taken Kip on his invitation to visit him in Charming maybe I should have. I often thought the US was not a place I would ever visit again because it didn't hold anything I wanted badly enough. Boy was I wrong, what I would have given to have one more moment with my brother. I missed Kip. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was nervous as I got ready for the party at the Sons' club house. I didn't know what to expect from the club, its old ladies or the skanks that hung out around the club. I did know better than to wear anything too sexy, however, I did want to look good. I dressed in a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, they hugged my curves and made my ass look good; a low cut V-neck t-shirt in black, just enough cleavage and my black riding boots that came up to my knees. I pulled my long brown hair up into a sleek pony tail and touched up my make-up. I had just finished getting ready to go when there was a knock at the door.

I was staying at Kip's house while I was in Charming. I thankfully knew his address and that there was always a key hidden under the rock on his patio; a trick our dad taught him. My plan was to go through all of his crap, a task all in itself; take what I wanted, give away stuff and then sell the house. Another knock…

"I'm comin'…I'm comin'!" I yell as I walk towards the front door. I knew who it was before I even got there. I could feel the butterflies, I hadn't felt nervous excitement like that since the first time I went on a date with Liam. I opened the door and on the other side was Juice. He was wearing the same clothes he was wearing at Kip's funeral and was still just as attractive.

"You look…" He stopped himself as if he was going to regret what he was about to say.

"I look? Please don't tell me I look like shite." I motioned for him to come in as I walked away from the door to get my bag off the chair in the living room.

"Oh no. I wasn't going to say that." He murmured. I turned back and saw he was checking out my ass.  
"Eyes are up here boy-o." I pointed to my face and smirked at him.

He smiled back at me and said, "Oh I know. You ready to go?"

"Aye, I am." I said, as I followed him out the door giving me a change to check out his ass. Hey it was only fair. It was a nice one from what I could tell his jeans were slightly baggy. But from what I could tell from his physic the boy was fit.

It was getting dark, the sky was a hazy purple color. Juice handed me a helmet as I climbed on to the back of his bike. It had been an extremely long time since I had been a motorcycle; Liam wouldn't allow me to be on one. He told me one time in a drunken rage that people would view me as a biker whore and he would not have his girlfriend be looked at like that. After that the idea of me being on the back of some guys' motorcycle was no longer up for discussion…at least on his end. I was actually surprised that he let me come to Charming on my own, I never got to do anything on my own. I always had at least one of his minions watch over me like hawks.

Juice climbed onto the bike, it was the closest I had been to him. He smelt like leather and soap, it was a delicious scent that filled my being. As I put my arms around him, I couldn't help but realize how right being with him felt.

"You smell good; like soap and leather." I whispered into his ear. I heard him laugh as he kick started his Harley. "Jesus what have I gotten myself into…" I muttered as I tightened my grip around his waist. The things you that you forget about when you hadn't done them in a long time. I thought about it and the last time I had been on the back of a bike was with Kip before he was sent to Afghanistan and I moved away. Granted I had been tempted many times by the SAMBEL members. But I was too weak to defy Liam; distance made my heart grow bolder and stronger.

"You're in good hands." Juice turned his head towards me. "Just relax and enjoy the ride." I loosened my grip slightly and rested my head against his back. I could feel his muscles tense up even through his cut. Was I seriously making him nervous? I pulled back, realizing that it felt too familiar. Why was I so comfortable with him when I had seriously only said about two words to the guy? As I sat back a little more relaxed he took off quickly. I tightened my grip again but then let go slightly as we moved down the road.  
Teller-Morrow, the home of SAMCRO's clubhouse, was about a 10 minute ride from Kip's house. By the time we got there I was close to telling Juice to pass the club house and keep going. I forgot how much I had loved riding. It was exhilarating, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt that way. I was sad that the ride had to end. I was looking forward to the ride home. Juice got off of the bike first, I followed and handed him, his helmet.  
"Thanks for the ride." I smiled broadly at him. I felt liberated.

"Anytime you want to go again just let me know….well I mean other than the ride home tonight." He stumbled on his words.

Jesus he was cute when he tripped on his words. "I will just have to take you up on that. I promise I will not have a death grip next time." He laughed and then smiled to himself. It was as if he was having some secret thought about what I just said to him.

We walked towards the clubhouse; the building was pretty unassuming other than the giant reaper out the outside of the building. The outside of the building had a boxing ring, I would have loved to step in there and spar. It has been months since I was "allowed" to box, with or without a partner. Liam put an end to that when I ended up with a black eye from one of my sparing partners. I am pretty sure she ended up with two after Liam's boys got a hold of her. I wasn't made out of glass but he thought so, or maybe it was the fact I had to look the perfect part in his charades he put forth. My job was to be quiet and look pretty; a black eye was not what Liam wanted me to portray. It made him look like he beat me, when everyone knew that I loved to box. Liam had to that day never laid a hand on me which I was grateful for.

"You guys have a ring." I touched it as we walked past. "I bet Kip kicked some ass in there." I thought fondly of my brother who at taught me everything I knew about the ring. One of many youthful bonding moments.

"Yeah, he was good. Better than all the other guys in SAMCRO. We bet against him once, he was supposed to lose after winning a bunch of matches. He won and we lost because Clay pissed him off when he was dating Cherry." Oh her. I thought about the girl who had shown up one night with a member of the Kings. She was working for Mo at her store. I didn't really give her much thought until she mentioned Kip one night while I was over visiting Trinity. The next day she was one of my least favorite people because she was getting it on with a member of SAMBEL. If she was supposed to be my brother's old lady then she shouldn't have been fucking any of the other Sons. So much for faithfulness. "Do you box?" Juice pulled me from my thoughts

I looked at him his brown eyes searched mine. "I did. Why do you ask?"

"I was curious. You got a look on your face when you saw the ring. You lit up and got a sorta nostalgic look on your face. " Juice said as we walked into the heart and soul of SAMCRO.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3: The party

I was assailed by the smell of cigarette smoke, alcohol and the faintest smell of pussy when I walked into the clubhouse. There were crow eaters everywhere, clinging to the closest Son.

"Hi Juicy." One the crow eaters touched him on the arm a little too intimately. She looked like she was ready to be in a porn. She was dressed in a short, short school girl skirts and white button up shirt that was tied just under her too large boobs.

"Those aren't real." I said to Juice as we passed by noticing that his eyes had lingered a little too long on her chest.

"Are you jealous?" He jested.

"Of those boobs?" looking down at my own. They were large enough for me. "No! Mine are just fine." Juice laughed at me as stopped at a table that was full of women. I recognized one of them from the funeral.

"Ladies, this is Half-Sacks little sister, Kylee." Shite these were the old ladies of the club. I felt my nerves rise. The old ladies in Belfast were not very nice women, it was hard to get in with them. Well other than Maureen. She had taken me under her wing and treated me as if I were her own. "Kylee, this is Gemma, Tara and Donna." I looked at each of them, Gemma was obviously the matriarch of the club. I could tell by way she held herself. Tara was younger, she was probably in her thirties. She smiled at me warmly. Donna was the woman I had seen at Kip's funeral.  
"I'm sorry for your loss." Donna said and offered me a seat with them.

"Thank you." I said.

Juice touched me on the back, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Aye, I'll have a Jameson on the rocks."

"That's a big drink for such a little girl." I felt the urge to stick my tongue out at him but refrained. Truth was I didn't care for American beer and I needed something strong to take the edge off my frayed nerves.  
"He likes you." Gemma said matter of factly. I looked at her with a confused look. "He's attentive to you."  
"I just figured he was like that with everyone." I looked at him, he was laughing with a heavy set man with a beard and long curly hair.

"Will you be staying a while?" Tara asked it was more out of curiosity then grilling me.

"A week or so, I have to clean out Kip's house and sell the place. Then I'll be heading back to Belfast." I thought of all the stuff in Kips house it would take me months to really go through it all. I would take it one day at a time and head back to Belfast when I was done.

"Let us know if you need any help. We'd be more than happy to do anything you need." Tara smiled, it was a genuine smile.

"I'll do that." I said as a Jameson was placed in front of me. "Thanks, Juice." I turned to him, I saw he had a light beer in his hand. "Are you serious? You make fun of me for drinking a Jameson on the rocks and you drink this shite?" I lightly push his hand with the beer.

"What?" He looked at his beer then takes a drink. "Taste fine to me." He smiled and walked to talk to Jax.  
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the ladies of SAMCRO; just as a large group of scantily clad women in hooker looking heels walked in. They fanned out across the room, to pretty much each one of the SAMCRO members.

"Whores walking." Gemma said, "Those, my dear, are the porn whores from Cara Cara." I watched them. One of them walked up to Juice and put her hand under his cut running it up and down his chest. She was a blonde, skinny, big boobs. "That's Ima. She has a thing for Juice."

"…And Jax, and Opie and Happy and…"Tara trailed off with a laugh, "Let's just face it she is a porn slut who likes to eat crow." I looked back over at Juice who was talking with Ima but then glanced over at me. I quickly turned away. I wanted to go up to her and punch her in the face. Why did I feel such violence towards her when I staked no claim to Juice.

"Different country same crow eating bitches. They are all the same aren't they? No matter what charter you go to." I mumbled.

"They are." Donna said, "They will fuck anything with a reaper on it." Looking at the Cara Cara girls with disgust. I took a big drink of my whisky.

"If you'd excuse me I need some air. All this pussy is making me sick." I said finishing off my Jameson. I heard them laugh joyfully. I walked out the door and over to the boxing ring, there was a punching bag hanging from the rafters. I started punching it. It felt so good to get my pent up aggression out. I could have stayed there all night knocking the bag around, however I knew I was being rude to my hosts.

I don't know how long they were watching me but when I turned around there were some guys standing there and they all started clapping. I saw him, Juice had been watching me too. It was strange I could pick him out of the crowd. I curtsied a few time.

"That's one hell of a right hook you have, darlin'" A man with scars on either side of his face; he had a scottish accent. "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"

"My brother." I said as I walked up to them.

"Aye, your Half Sack's sister. I'm Chibs." As soon as he said his name I knew who he was. My friend, Kerrianne's father.

"You're Kerrianne's da." I looked at him, I could see her in him. She looked more like her mother, Fiona.

"Aye, you know my Kerri?" He smiled and she came up and took me in his arms.

"That I do. She's one of my closest friends."

"Then you're okay with me love." He kissed me on the lips. Something that I was used to. The Irish would do that when the accepted people. It wasn't as sign of attraction but more a sign of approval. I smiled as we back away from each other. "Tell her that I love her."

"Better yet, why don't you..."I pulled out my mobile phone and dialed Kerri's number. I knew it was close to 10 pm in California so it would be close to 6 am in Belfast. She picked up.

"It's early here you know." Kerrianne's voice on the otherline sounded tired.

"Aye, I know that. I have someone who wants to talk to you." I handed the phone to Chibs and walked away.

"That was nice of you." Jax walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulder. He was an attractive man. "Sounds like the ladies like you."

"Nice is my middle name. I like the ladies too. They are all very nice, which is very unlike the old ladies in Belfast. They protect their club and their spots in the club. I don't understand because I have never been a threat. I have always been Liam's girl, which according to Mo, is held in a much higher standard." I rolled my eyes. "Higher, ah it's good to be queen," I said sarcastically. "What's not love about armored cars, armed escorts and constantly being watched and controlled?" I stepped back. "Sorry I didn't mean to be so down."

"It's okay darlin'" He said as we started walking back towards the clubhouse. Juice joined us.

"I got you another drink." He handed me another Jameson.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" He smiled at me and shrugged. "You should know that I have lived in Ireland for 8 years. It is going to take a _LOT_ more than two Jameson whiskys to get me drunk. By the way what happened to you friend?"

"Oh you saw that?" He sounded concerned. How could I have missed it?

"Yes, I did. She's quite a hooker…oh I mean looker." He laughed at me. 

The rest of the evening went by quickly. I got to know Tara, Gemma and Donna better. It was like we were old friends by the end of the evening. Gemma had even invited me over for dinner the following night, which was pretty much reserved for club members and their old ladies. I felt so accepted. It felt like home. I knew why my brother loved his other family so much. Juice took me home and the ride was just as exhilarating at the first time. He walked me up to the door.

"Thanks for bringing me this evening. I had a really good time." I smiled, slightly tipsy from all the drinks I had been fed. I was surprised how much I drank by the end of the night; it's funny how much you can drink when you are having a good time with people you like.

"You're welcome." He smiled and leaned in his face was just inches from me. I looked at him, he was so close. His eyes were a warm chocolate brown. Then he kissed me. His kiss was soft and passionate. How could something so wrong, feel so right? I thought to myself. I pushed him away.

"I can't. I'm sorry." I fumbled trying to get my keys out of my bag. He looked at me with a confused look on his face. "I have a boyfriend, Liam. I can't." I thought about what he would do to me if he had found out I was kissing another man. "I'm so sorry Juice." He nodded.

"It's okay. I just assumed that you were into me." Oh I was. I was.

He deserved my honestly, "Believe me, if it wasn't for Liam…." I trailed off, then through all my good sense to the wind and kissed him fervently. When we finally parted I felt fevered and warm. I could still feel where his lips were on mine, my skin burned where he touched me. "You should go before I do anything else I might regret."

"Yeah." He slyly smiled at me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I tried to keep myself busy most of the morning. I was only doing it because anytime I wasn't focusing on what a mess my brother left behind, I would start thinking about the kiss I had shared with Juice the night before. Who was I kidding I was thinking about it even when I was going through Kip's stuff. I didn't know where we stood after I told him about Liam and then kissed him like I did. I was torn. I really liked Juice, but I knew I couldn't just leave Liam; it wasn't that easy. I knew that, but Juice didn't. I didn't know what leaving Liam would entail but I knew I wanted to, especially now.

I was in the middle of cleaning out at cedar chest when there was a knock at the door. My stomach jumped, I wasn't expecting anyone. I got up and made my way through the many piles I had made throughout the day. They each had a place to go, one to the Sons, one for me, one for the disabled veterans, other donations and one that was trash. I opened the door to see Donna and Tara.

"Hey, welcome to my mess." I said to them as I stepped aside to let them in.

"We brought coffee and bagels." Donna offered up a bag and a large cup of coffee. The both smelled so good. I thought about it and I hadn't eaten yet that morning.

"They smell wonderful!" I said as I walked into the kitchen, "Now let's see if I can find a table under all this paperwork." I picked up the piles of papers I had on the table, trying to go through my brother miscellaneous paperwork a task in itself. "Please sit down." I told them as I gathered plates, knives and napkins from their places in the cabinets.

"So I have to say I was surprised to not see Juice's bike here this morning." Tara said.

"Why is that?" I muttered, "Is it that obvious that I like him?" I was slightly embarrassed that I had let him in so quickly.

"Yes." Donna smiled warmly at me, "but it's also equally as obvious that he likes you just as much. I don't think any of us have seen him take to someone like he has taken to you." I smiled at the thought of Juice, then the butterflies came in swarms when I started to think about our kiss last night.

"I can't." I said as I placed everything on the table. Donna and Tara looked at me with confusion in their beautiful eyes. I took a deep breath, "I have a boyfriend in Belfast." I sat down to tell them my story about how I met Liam and my life as I know it Northern Ireland. "If you want to know I will tell you everything, my life is pretty much an open book to those who know me anyway and I hate lying."

"We have time." Tara said quietly as she took a drink of her coffee, I think I could have use something stronger than a black coffee right about then.

"When I was 17, I got accepted into college in Dublin. I was excited for the adventure and the mystery. Okay and the men. I met Liam two weeks after I moved to Dublin. He was so sweet then. I worked at a small pub on to help pay for my housing and for fun money. He was so persistent on getting me to go on a date with him. He would show up every night I worked or if I had picked up a shift he would be there. I enjoyed the attention I was getting for him. I liked being perused. Finally I gave in and went on a date with him…he was so different back then. He bought me flowers all the time, he was a romantic. At the end of our first semester of classes he told me he had to move back to Belfast because his father had died and he needed to take over the family business. He asked me to move with him. I had only known him for 3 months, we had been dating two of those months. I didn't take him up on his offer. I stayed in Dublin for one more semester while we dated long distance. I would go up to Belfast to visit him or he would come down to Dublin to see me. It just got to be too much so I moved there. I have lived there since. I quit school, I left my friends there…I just gave up everything I worked so hard for him. For love. I was a stupid, naïve girl. Things went really well for the first few years, I made friends in Belfast…Trinity and Kerrie. Then things started to change, he became more controlling, first it started out that the armed men with me were just for my safety. Okay I got that, it was dangerous in Belfast at times. Then he gave me a curfew…it was little things that I thought _oh he is doing this for my safety_. But he wasn't he was seeing how far he could push me before I pushed back. But before I realized what was happening he had control of my whole life. He took away pretty much everything that I loved. I was only allowed to see Trinity and Kerrie when it was convenient for him and his men. I couldn't box anymore because my sparring partner gave me a black eye….she ended up with two and some broken ribs because of that. Sadly, my brother being killed by Cameron was the best thing that could have happened to me. I have had a chance to get away, to collect myself and realize how much I need to get away from Liam. To him I am a piece of property, not a person, not his girlfriend he once loved. Just a trophy." I finished and thinking they probably looked at me with different eyes.

"We can help you get out, the club will help." Tara offered.

"I can't ask you to put yourself in danger for me. I need to talk to Seamus. He's Liam's older brother he took over their father's 'business' before Liam did…he got out. He has been my biggest supporter to leave since Liam has been so controlling." I stated.

"Please let us know if you need any help. The club will help however they can, you are a sister of a member, and we do what we can for family." Donna said warmly.

"Thank you so much. You do not understand how much your support and open friendship means to me. I really appreciate it." I say as I take a large bite of my bagel…mmm chocolate chip. "I kissed Juice last night." I said abruptly.

"I knew something would happen." Donna laughed. It was almost as if our previous conversation was forgotten. "The way you looked at each other. Hell he turned down Ima for you. Just so you know you have probably made an enemy out of her, but then pretty much everyone has."

I didn't care if I made an adversary of Ima. She meant nothing to me, I didn't know her nor did I care to.

"So let me get this straight…you kissed him?" Tara asked.

Thinking back to the previous night it as a bit fuzzy but I could remember that moment, "He kissed me first. I stopped him and told him about Liam. Then I kissed him." I touched my lips as I felt his lips on mine again and smiled slightly. "Oi, things are going to be weird now, aren't they?"

"I'm sure they will be fine." Tara said, "How what can we help you with around here?"

I was happy that they didn't push any further with the Liam stuff. I needed to be strong enough on my own to get away before I could even consider being in a relationship with someone else. I put Donna and Tara to work on the living room where my brother had shelves books and war memorabilia. I told them the only things I wanted them to save for me to look at are things that they think that SAMCRO would want or something that had Kip and me together in it. The day passed quickly with my helpers. I really enjoyed Tara and Donnas' company. They reminded me of Kerrie and Trinity. I knew I could become good friends with them. They had good hearts.

"Oh my god look at the time. Gemma will kill us if we are late." Tara looked at the clock on the wall and stood up quickly. "Do you want to ride with me, Kylee?"

"Sure I can do that. Do mind if I freshen up a bit?"

"Yeah. No problem."

"I have to go home and pick up the kids, plus Opie is probably wondering where I am." Donna hugged me and then Tara. "I will see you guys in a little bit."

I quickly changed my clothes, I changed into a pair of jeans, sneakers and light blue t-shirt. I brushed my hair out and left it down. It had gotten long, it was to the middle of my back, I hadn't realized since I tended to keep it in a messy bun or pony tail. I walked out into the living room where Tara was waiting for me.

"Kylee?" I looked at her. "Has he ever hit you?"

I knew she was talking about Liam. "No. I think he knows that I can fight better than he can."

"Good. I really want to help you get out of there. I know we just met but you feel like family already. It is like you have always been here." She put her arm around me. "Let me know if there is anything you need even when you go back to Northern Ireland." I was so touched by her friendship, tears came to my eyes.

"Thank you, Tara." I would never forget her friendship.

"You're welcome. Now we should go before Mama Gemma murders us." She pulled me along with her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

We arrived at Gemma and Clay's at the same time as Juice, Chibs and Tig. Tig had the bluest eyes I had ever seen, they were like the color of the sky on a cloudless day. It could be because his hair was so dark in contrast.

"Hello darlin'." Chibs came up and put his arm around me.

"Hi Chibs. How are you feeling after last night?" He was completely sloshed by the time Juice and I left. He was face down in the lap of a Cara Cara girl. They definitely were not private about what they did, it just happened no matter who was around.

"Never been better." He smirked at me.

"Ah the joys of being Scottish. I never thought I would meet anyone who could hold their liquor better the Irish and then I met a Scot." I jested.

I looked over at Juice and smiled. He looked away and walked into the house. "Not going to be weird right?" I lean over to Tara. She shrugged.

"Did you break his heart, love?" Chibs said point blank. "The boy's been moping around more than normal today."

"I don't know." I said as we walked into the house. It smelt wonderful like baked chicken, potatoes and best of all fresh bread. I loved fresh bread, it reminded me of childhood when my parents were alive and my mum use to bake. Her bread was the best…well from a child's perspective.

"It smells lovely, Gemma." I say as I walk into the kitchen. "Can I help you with anything?" She hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Glad you could make it sweetheart. If you want you can chop these veggies." She turned me towards a counter full of fresh vegetables. There was broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, cucumbers, celery and snap peas. I took a knife from the cutting block and started chopping up the vegetable for everyone. While I was doing that Donna and Tara were setting the table for everyone. I felt like I was with a family. It has been a long time since I had felt that.

"Hey darlin'" I hear behind me. I turn around to see Jax.

"Hi Jax. How are you?" I smile warmly at him.

"I'm doing well. How are things coming along at Half Sacks?"

"It's coming. My brother has a lot of shite. I feel like I will be here forever cleaning out his house." I sigh as I load the vegetables on to a tray.

"Let me know if you need anything, I'll send over some of the club members to help." He offered me.

"Actually if you could spare a few guys tomorrow I have some things that either need to go to you guys or be put into the giant rubbish bin that will be delivered tomorrow. He has a gun safe which I am assuming is full of guns which you guys can just have. I have to find the key first." I shook my head, "I have no clue where he left it."

"I'll send over a few guys tomorrow." He said as we walked into the dining room. Gemma had sat me next to Juice and Happy. Happy was sort of scary. He had a shaved head, dark brown eyes and a scowl on his face. I wondered if here was a soft place in his heart, he seemed so dark, so hard. As I was thinking that he turned to me and smiled. It was warm and touched his eyes. It made him a lot less daunting.

"You enjoying your stay so far?" Happy asked.

"I am. Well as much as I can." I look slightly towards Juice who seemed to be listening to our conversation. But when he saw I was looking at him he turned back to his food. It was so awkward. I shouldn't have kissed him last night. And why was he ignoring me tonight? I thought.

Dinner was delicious. I spend most of my time talking to Happy. After dinner, us, ladies cleaned up the meal to help out Gemma and the guys enjoyed beers and smoked. While we were doing the dishes I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked at it and it was Liam.

"Excuse me, I should take this," I said as I walk out into the back yards. "Hello?"

"Why haven't you called me today?" Were the first words out of his mouth.

"I've been busy Liam; it slipped my mind."

"How can calling me slip your mind? I knew it was a bad idea letting you go to Charming on your own. Who are you fucking?" He had been drinking I could tell by the slur in his voice and he was angry.

"REALLY?" I shoot back feeling my anger rise. The distance between us has made me bolder. "You're kidding me right? Why do you think I am fucking someone? And I am actually glad you didn't send anyone with me!"

"Did you forget your place so quickly?" He yelled into the phone, my ear was ringing. He was full of venom. I didn't know what to say back. I was so angry but I didn't want to provoke him any further.

"Call me back when you are no longer drunk, Liam." I spit back and I hung up on him. There would be hell to pay for that. If he remembered, who was, I kidding he would remember.

"Trouble in paradise?" I hear from behind me. I turn and look and it was Juice. He had a large low ball glass full of a light brown liquid which I could only guess what the scotch that the guys were passing around the table.

"Paradise?" I said full of anger. "There is no delight in Belfast." I realized I was taking my anger out on Juice. "Only here." I mumble quietly as I look down at the ground and look up at him and he is staring at me. "What?"

"What did you just say?" He asked me quietly.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter," I replied. He came closer to me. I could smell the scotch on his breath he was so close. "What is your deal anyway?" I ask him.

He looked at me with puzzled eyes, like he hadn't just ignored me for over two hours during dinner. I don't know if anyone else had noticed the discomfort between the two of us but I certainly felt it. "What are you talking about?"

"Really?! Where were you for the last two hours Juice?" I ask him.

It was like it hit him. "Oh. I…I was trying to put distance between us. I don't want to care about you and get close to you. You are just going to leave and you're someone else's old lady."

He was right, it was unfair to make him care for me. It was unfair to me too. I suppose in a way it was unfair to Liam too. I needed to deny myself the one thing that I started to want so badly. I wanted to have the family that the Sons provided each other. I wanted to have a lover that wanted me for who I was and not who he wanted me to be.

"You're right, we should keep our distance from each other." I said as I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

"I don't want to stay away from you. It made me jealous that Happy had all your attention during dinner. That he made you laugh and smile, when it should have been me. I was kicking myself because I was being such an asshole." He admitted to me. I snickered at the thought of being jealous over Happy, he wasn't even close to being my type. He took advantage of my aloofness and he kissed me. I didn't stop him, how could I when every fiber of my being, burned for him. This kiss was soft and wanting. I was breathless when he pulled away. "Now tell me that you want to leave this." He whispered into my ear and turned and walked away. I didn't want to leave it but I had to. I needed to be honest with Juice and why I had to go back to Belfast; he at least deserved knowing that I didn't want to leave.

I went back into the house and Gemma smiled at me, "So you and Juice seem to have gotten close." She must have seen us through the window.

"Did you see that?" I asked her.

"Yes. It would be nice if you stayed here and made Charming your home. You fit in well." She put her arm around me and gave me a side hug.

"I can't right now. But maybe one day." I said just as Juice walked into the kitchen with Chibs and Tara.

"Hey, I was getting ready to leave, do you want me to drop you off at your place?" Tara asked. She had an early day at the hospital the next day.

"I can take her home." Juice winked at me.

"Are you sure?" Tara asked him but looked at me.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure." He turned to her. She raised her eyebrows at him and turned to leave.

"Wait, I have to grab my bag out of your car." I followed after Tara as I passed between Chibs and Juice one of them smacked my ass. From the cheek I figured it was Chibs, I would have loved to see Juice's face when he did that.

We walked out to Tara's Cutlass. She turned to me as she was about to get into her car, "So he is talking to you now, that's good. Please tell me he told you what the silence was about earlier."

"He did, he told me it was because he wanted to keep his distance from me. Which I get; it's unfair of me to let him get close. I told him, it was a good idea that we kept our distance. He then told me he didn't want to keep his distance. He kissed me again. Tara, I don't know what is wrong with me. I burn for him. Fuck, I have only known him for a few days and I am completely mad for him."

"You need to be honest with him about Liam. He is going to want to protect you from him, but I am sure you know that already."

I did. "He was listening to me on the phone with Liam earlier. Things are going to be rough when I go back home. He already thinks I am fucking someone. I am sure the truth of it is, is that he is. Which I could care less about. I know Juice deserves the truth, I will tell him. I just have to figure out how and when." I grabbed my bag out of the back of the car. "I'll see you later. Have a good day at work tomorrow."

"You have fun going through all that shit your brother collected." She laughed at me as she got into her car.

I went back to the house as Happy was coming out, "Jax wants me to come destroy a safe at your place tomorrow." He said gruffly.

"Alright. I guess I will see you tomorrow then. Is there anything that you want me to pick up from the store…beer, coffee…food?" I asked as he started to walk away.

"Nah, I'll be okay." He said as he got onto his Harley. I watched him drive off. He was one person I would not want to get on the wrong side of. I didn't think I would ever talk back to him even in gest. While I stood there in though I felt a hand on the middle of my lower back.

"Oh Jesus!" I yelped, "You scared me." It was Juice.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked me.

"Yes, just let me go say goodbye to everyone and thank Gemma." I walk into the house, Donna and Opie were getting ready to leave as well and Gemma was standing with them. She was an amazing hostess. "We are going to leave, Gemma. Thank you so much for the wonderful meal. I cannot remember the last time I had such good food." I hugged her.

"You're welcome. I may come over tomorrow and help you get that place cleaned. That is if you would accept my company."

"I would love it. I would really appreciate any help I could get." I really did appreciate it. I turned and walked out the door, Donna and Opie followed after saying goodbye to Gemma. Donna grabbed my hand and linked her arm into mine making me walk slower than I was. Opie passed us but not before putting his hand on my shoulder and saying goodbye to me.

"So," Donna said with curiosity filled her blue eyes. "Thing were awkward at dinner, weren't they?"

"I wish I was the only one who noticed that."

"Things seem to be better now though, what happened?" She asked as we got closer to Opie and Juice who were standing near their Harleys.

"They are but they are just as complicated. I'll tell you more tomorrow." I said to her as we got to the guys. Juice looked at me and smiled. It made me feel all flushed and hot.

"Okay. I will be over after I get the kids off to school." She waved as she climbed on the back of Opie's bike and strapped on her helmet.

Juice handed me a helmet and climbed on his bike, I climbed on after him and put my arms around his waist. Being close to him was so hard for me, I didn't know how long I could restrain the desire that was growing inside of me. As I thought that; Juice gave his bike gas and we took off. He didn't take me to my brother's house right away, instead we went for a ride, through the city of Charming and into the lands that surrounded it. It was exhilarating to be on his bike with him. It felt like I was flying, my hair blew wildly behind me. Our ride out of town lasted a good hour before he turned us around to head back to Charming. When we reached Kip's house the moon was high in the evening sky. The evening was cool ride was cool and I wasn't prepared to ride as long as we did. I was only wearing a light shirt. I shivered as I parted from Juice's warm body and got off the bike.

"Thank you for the ride. I really needed that." I told him as I took off my helmet and hugged my body to keep the heat in.

"No problem. You can have ride whenever you want." He grinned, I was sure his words had double meaning. I wanted to ask him in so badly but didn't trust myself alone with him. "You're cold aren't you?"

"A bit. I have been colder." I thought of my first winter in Belfast, it was such a wet cold. "Would you like to come in?" I asked against my better judgment.

"Sure." He took off his helmet and got off of his Harley.

As we walked into the house, I turned to him and said, "Let's get this straight…we will not be having sex."

"Really woman! Are you really thinking about that?" He jested.

"Ha. Ha." I said dryly. "Do you want a beer? It seems to be the only thing that Kip had in his fridge when he died." I walked to the fridge and opened it up, looking at the bareness of it, if I was going to stay there I should really buy groceries.

"Yeah, I'll take one." His voice was in my ear. I knew if I turned around I would be face to face with him. I would be able to look up into his beautiful brown eyes that made me turn to mush when I looked at them. I stood there with my back to him, he moved my hair to one side of my neck and kissed the bare side.

"Juice please don't." I said in barely a whisper. How did he know that was my sweet spot? How did he know I would melt into a puddle at his feet if he kissed my neck softly like that? He didn't stop. "Juice." I turned to look at him and his eyes were full of fire and passion. How could I say no to him when he made me feel so alive? I hadn't felt that way in a least five years.

"What?" His voice was full of lust. "Do you want me to stop this?" He kissed my neck again. I let out a quiet moan. "It doesn't seem like you want me to stop." He did it again then he kissed me. I was on fire. Every nerve in my body was raw and sensitive to his touch. He pulled me against his body, I could feel the growing bulge in his pants. Nothing good could come of this my conscience thought loudly. _You could get him killed if you sleep with him, _it screamed. I pushed him back, breathing heavily I look at him and just say,

"I can't!" I turn away again to try to hide my tears that are building up in my eyes.

He turned me to face him, his eyes had changed from raw lust to concern. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, you set down the rules when we walked in the door and I didn't listen. There is just something about you that makes me senseless." He took me in his arms and just held me as I cried, large exhausting sobs.

"I don't want anything to happen to you." I finally said as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I…I…" I falter as I try to figure out how I should tell him that I am dating a high ranked member of a well-known Northern Irish "club," who sees me as his property and if he were to find out about Juice…well it wouldn't end well.

"It's okay. You don't need to tell me right now." He said to me. "Do you want me to make you tea?"

I stared at him with utter confusion, why isn't he going to push me and why is he offering to make me tea? I just nodded at him and said, "There is good tea in the cabinet above the stove."

"Go sit down on the couch," He turned to fix my tea. A few minutes later he arrived with my tea, "Here you go." He sat down next to me and I snuggle up to him. "Feeling better?"

"A little, thank you." I looked up at him through my eye lashes. "I am sorry. Believe me if it wasn't for Liam, I would have…" I trailed of thinking about how I yearned to be touched like that again.

"If you don't love him, you should leave him." He said it like it was that simple.

"Juice," I pulled away from him and looked at him straight on. "It is not that easy. I have been thinking about leaving him for months now. I haven't been strong enough to do it until now. I have to get some things in place before I leave him though."

"Like what?"

I took a deep breath, "Like finding other members of his club that will okay my leaving. I need to prove that I will not share anything that I have seen in my seven years of being in Belfast. I could be killed for just walking away and not saying anything. Anyone who helps me could be killed as well. Fuck if Liam found out you and I kissed. I am sure he would…"I shudder at the thought. "He would probably kill you or me or both of us. I can't let anything happen to you."

"So go back to Belfast and then come back to me." He kissed my forehead. Oh Juice if it were only that easy I thought. I would most likely end up dead.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I woke up to a loud knock at the front door. It startled me awake. I rolled over in bed and saw Juice laying there. I asked him not to leave last night, I liked how safe I felt when he was around. Another loud knock. I jumped out of bed and stumbled out into the hall way and to the front door. Another impatient knock.

"Fuck, hold on." I bark. I opened the door and Happy was standing there with an annoyed look on his face.

"It's about time." He said as he walked in. "Nice hair." I felt my hair and there was a large knot on the left side of my head.

"Sorry about that I was still sleeping." He looked at me like I was lying, especially since Juice just walked out of the bedroom.

"Hey, Hap." He said as he rubbed his head and walked into the bathroom.

"Hey. Just sleepin'." He snorted. "Where's the safe?"

"In the back bedroom, in the closet." I walked into the kitchen to start some coffee, I needed that and a cold shower after last night. I was digging through one of the drawers to find the coffee scoop and found what I thought could be the key to the safe. Really Kip, I thought. "Happy!" I yell as I walk into the bed room to find him aiming a gun at the safe. "You don't need to shoot that. I think I found the key." I hand it over to him.

"Your brother was a fucking pig." He replied as he took the key. I stood there and watched it was a perfect fit. Happy opened the safe and it was stocked full of guns.

"Holy Shit." I heard from behind me. "Half Sack was holding out on us." Juice walked into the room and next to Happy at the mecca of guns.

"I'll let you guys go through that and take what the club might want." I smiled, there was another knock at the door. Lord knows who it could have been. My assumption was it was Donna or Gemma. I opened the door and there stood Donna and Gemma.

"Hey, come on it." I just realized that my hair was a mess and I was still in my pajamas. "I have to go change and do something with my hair…I'll be right back." I walk back to the room where I had been staying. I change into a comfortable pair of pants and a t-shirt. I grab my phone and see that I have a missed call…from Liam. I listen to my voicemail.

"Hey. I am just calling to say I am sorry about last night. You're right I was drunk. You know how I get. Call me when you get a chance and I get it if you get too busy trying to get your brother's house cleaned out. I love you, Ky. I talk to you soon love."

My heart sank, he sounded like the old Liam. The one who took me on dates and wooed me. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I dial his number,

"Hello Love." He said from the otherline.

"Hi," I said in a whisper.

"How are things going?"

"They are going well. My brother has a lot of shite, it might take me longer to get through it all. I may be here a bit longer than I thought."

"It's okay love. Take your time." He said softly like he was talking to a child.

"Already, well I better go I have a couple of guys with a bunch of guns in the other room and two women in the living room waiting for coffee."

He laughed, it had been ages since I had heard him laugh. "Alright Ky. I will talk to you later. I love you."

"Yeah, I know. Cheers." I say. I couldn't tell him I loved him because well the truth was I didn't. I don't think he cared, he just had me around for looks. I looked up and saw Juice standing in the door way. I stood up and walked towards him. He took me in his arms and hugged me, I fit just right into his arms. He pet the side of my head where the huge knot was.

"You look like you have sex hair." He looked at me and smirked.

"Yeah, I know. I am sure that is what everyone is thinking but let them think that." I smiled back at him. "I just talked to Liam. He was calmer almost too calm."

"That's good right?" He questioned.

I shrugged, "It could be the silence before the storm." I grabbed my brush of the dresser and started to brush out my hair. I then put it into a ponytail, Juice watched me the whole time. "We should get out there before they think something is up." He laughed and smacked my ass as we walked out the door.

The day went quickly, we made lots of progress. Towards the end of the early afternoon Donna and I were in Kip's room cleaning it out. We finally had some time alone. We talked about what happened the night before between Juice and me. She told me we made a cute couple.

"We aren't a couple." I said to her as I crawled under the bed. There was a box under there that I wanted to get. As I got close to the box my hand slid against something slippery and rubbery. I shot out from under the bed with it in my hand. "OH MY GOD!" I screamed as I flung the used condom across the room towards the door which was empty seconds before. I turn and look and it was sitting on Happy's foot. "Oh shite." I try to hold back my snicker but I just couldn't.

He looked down at his shoe and said, "What the fuck? You throwing your used condoms at me?"

"Not my used condom. Good lord…I wonder how long that's been under there." I gagged slightly as he picked it off of his shoe and walked over to hang it over my head. "Stay away from with that nasty shite, Happy." I jumped up quickly and climbed on the bed standing higher then him. He smiled madly. As he started to swing it back and forth. "Seriously Happy!" I yelp and I jump off the bed and take shelter next to Donna.

"She ain't gonna save you." He had that maniacal smile that scared me, he took a step closer to us.

"Hey Kylee, you are going to want to see this." I hear Juice shout from the living room. He had been working on opening the files on Kip's computer. I took at advantage of Happy looking out of the room to dart out the door.

"You'll only be safe so long." He said to me as I ran down the hallway.

"What do you have for me?" I asked as I sit down on the couch next to Juice and look at the computer screen. "What is it?"

"It's your brother's will and bank account information." I looked at the numbers on the screen. "Holy FUCK!" I sat back on the couch.

"He left everything to you Ky." Kip left me over a million dollars in cash funds and there were also IRAs and stocks. "He set you up."

"Well that was nice of him," I said as I got up off the couch. I started to feel nauseous, I ran to the bathroom where I vomited.

"You okay?" Juice walked into the doorway as I was putting cool water on my face and neck.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I look up at him. "Please don't tell anyone else about the money. Things have a way of getting back to Liam."

"No problem."

We left it at that. It was 5:00 when Happy and Donna left. Leaving me and Juice alone again. It wasn't hard to not think about what happened last night between the two of us when we were so busy.

"Do you want to get some food?" He asked me. I had been feeling slightly queasy all day, I hadn't really eaten anything.

"Sure."

"You really need to eat more. You have pecked all day, you're like a little bird."

"I haven't felt good today. I wonder if I am coming down with something."

"Well why don't I go out and get you some chicken noodle soup and ginger ale." He stood up and grabbed his cut and put it on. "I'll be back in a little bit." He walked out of the house and I heard him drive away. I laid down on the couch and must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Juice touching my shoulder saying,

"Hey sleepy head, your soup is ready."

"Mmm, okay." I sat up on the couch and he handed me a bowl of soup. "Thank you Juice." I stare at him.

"What is it? Is your soup not warm enough?"

"Did your parents really name you Juice?" I ask him.

He laughed, "No, it's Juan Carlos."

"That's a nice name." He kissed my forehead.

"So is Kylee." I was so grateful for Juice. I couldn't remember the last time someone took care of me.

We finished clearing out my brother's house in just around three weeks. I had been sick every day of those three weeks. One of my last days in Charming I was sitting at Jax and Tara's house, I got sick.

"How long have you been getting sick?" Tara asked me.

"Um," how long had it been? "Shite." I just connected it.

"What?" She asked.

"Tara…I think I might be pregnant."

"Juice?" everyone knew that we were close. I was sure they all thought we were having sex when the truth of the matter was we hadn't.

"No, we haven't had sex. It would be Liam's."

"I actually have a test if you want to take it." I nodded as Tara walked to the bathroom, I followed her.

"Good thing I have to pee." I joked trying to make light of the situation. Tara handed me the pregnancy test and walked out of the bathroom. I peed on the little stick, funny how something so insignificant can change your life. I sat in the bathroom and waited for the test to give me the answer. And finally there it was the little plus sign. "Fuck."

I walked out into the living room where Tara was sitting with Abel and Thomas her sons. She looked at me and I started crying.

"How am I going to leave him now? He'll ever let me leave, especially since I am going to have his baby." I sobbed as I sat on the couch and put my face in my hands.

"It's okay. Everything will work out."

"How am I going to tell Juice?"

"You'll figure it out. We'll be here to support you, no matter what happens."

Thankfully the SAMCRO was on a run and would be back my last day in Charming. I had a red eye flight out of California to New York and then a flight straight to Belfast. I woke up early my last day in Charming. I don't know it was my nerves or if I was going to be sick. Stupid baby was kicking my ass. I had everything packed and ready to go and sitting by the door. I decided not to sell Kip's house and to keep it around for the club. It was the least I could do for them. There was a knock at my door. I got up and answered it. It was Juice.

"Hey, you're here early." I didn't realize he was back.

"Just got back and I thought I would come spend the day with you." He smiled at me and took me into his arms. "I missed you. God I hate to think about what it is going to be like here without you. Well at least only for a few months right?" He said hopefully.

I smiled back weakly. How could I tell him? I looked up at him and kissed him passionately. I didn't want him to go, I wanted to be with him. "Love me Juice." I told him as he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He placed me on the bed and took off his cut and his shirt. Holy shit… that man how abs I could've wash clothes on. He kissed me gently and said,

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." It's not like I could get pregnant now.

He was so gentle with me, something I hadn't been accustom to, and Liam was rough and quick. Juice made sure I was comfortable and felt loved. Most of our morning consisted of having passionate sex. I was exhausted and I fell asleep in Juice's arms. "I love you, Kylee." I heard him whisper as I drifted off to sleep. I awoke to Juice's phone ringing.

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah I'm with her right now. We'll be there shortly." He said to the other person on the other line. "Jax wants us at the club house."

I showered and got dressed, I wore a maxi dress, which turned out to be a not so good choice to wear on the back of a motorcycle. But I survived. We got the club house and it was full of people.

"What is this?" I asked Juice.

"Your going away party." Juice smiled and kissed my hand. My going away party. Only he didn't know how long I would be gone.

"Wow, thanks. Hey can we talk?" I asked him as Chibs came up and grabbed me from behind and swung me around, making my already upset stomach more nauseous. The time that Juice and I had alone was not going to be now.

"Hi Chibs." I fought back my urge to vomit as he put me down.

"Going back to your mick lover huh?"

"Shut up." Was all I could say.

"Come have a drink with me love." He pulled me towards the club house and away from Juice.

"I am not in the mood for a drink. I'll have a soda or a water, I don't like to drink before I fly."

"Oh love being drunk while flying is the only way I go." He laughed as we walked into the club house.  
After talking with him and Opie for a while I decided I needed to talk to Juice, I would be leaving in a few hours and I need to talk with him. I saw Tara she nodded at me as if to encourage me. I found Juice sitting by Happy and Tig.

"Do you mind if I borrow him for a few minutes?" I ask them.

"Juicy going to get lucky?" Tig asked.

We walked out to the boxing ring and sat on the edge together. I twisted my hands together my stomach was in knots. I looked at Juice and he smiled at me.

"I have something I need to tell you." Fuck…it was happening. How could I tell this man I was falling so madly in love with that I was pregnant and I wouldn't be coming back? I sat there quietly for a few minutes. He took my hand into his.

"It's okay Kylee. Tell me."

"It's not okay Juice. Nothing is okay." I said as tears started falling down my face.

"Fuck tell me you're scaring me."

"Juice, I'm pregnant." He looked at me with a confused look on his face.

"But we just…"

"It's Liam's…" I looked at him, there was a look of disbelief in his face. "I didn't know, until a few days ago. I should have realized, I have been so sick in the mornings. I just didn't connect the dots until Tara said something to me."

"What does this mean?" he asked me with almost a panic in his voice.

"I won't be coming back, Juice." I couldn't look at him when I said that. "He won't let me when he finds out I am pregnant."

"Don't tell him, stay here. Please." He pleaded with me. "I love you."

"I love you too Juice. But I can't. If Liam were to find out I was pregnant, I didn't tell him and I had the baby here. He would wipe us out. I cannot let that happen."

He stood up and ran his hands over his head and walked away. He just walked away. I didn't see him for the rest of the time I was at the party. Chibs offered to give me a ride to the airport. As we were walking out, I saw that back of his head on the otherside of the boxing ring.

"Give me a second Chibs." I touched his shoulder as we walked out of the club house.

"No problem darlin'"

I walked towards him, "Juice?" I said as I turned the corner and I saw her, Ima, between his legs giving Juice a blowjob. He looked at me with panic.

"Fuck." He said as he pushed her away trying to pull up his pants.

"Can't you see he is a little busy, sweetie?" Ima spit at me.

"Fuck you!" I spit back and turn to walk away Juice grabbed my arm I tried to pull away. "Let go of me!" He wouldn't so punched him.

"What the fuck?" He said as I ran off to Chibs who was waiting in the car for me. Juice was right behind me. "You're the one who is never coming back!" he shouted at me. "You're the one who got knocked up by your abusive boyfriend in Ireland."

"Thanks for rubbing that in my face. Now go back to your porn slut and get your cock suck some more, asshole! You just made my leaving a whole lot easier." I said as I got into the car and turned to Chibs. "Go please." Then I started to cry. I cried for Juice, I cried for the love that I lost, I cried for the baby growing in my womb who never had a chance of having a normal life. Leaving Charming right now was the best thing for me. I don't think I would ever be able to look Juice in the eyes again.

"You okay love?" Chibs asked.

"I'm fine." I wiped away the tears from my eyes and was resolved never to cry for Charming again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was a cool and rainy day in Belfast, but come to think about it when wasn't it cool and rainy in Belfast. I missed the sun, who was I kidding, I missed Charming. I thought about Charming and Juice every day since I had been back. It had been three months since I had left, the sting of Juice's betrayal with Ima still hurt. I would find myself starting to cry when I thought about it. Thankfully Liam had never been around when one of those moment stuck me has hard as a speeding truck. Truth was he broke my heart. I didn't understand how one moment he was telling me he loved me and the next he was letting some whore go down on him, while I was still around and in the open. Was that his way of pushing me away? Or was that his way of showing me that I was the one who betrayed him by never coming back? None the less I was heartbroken over the whole thing still. How could one man who I had only known mere weeks hold such an affect over me. I still wanted to beat Ima senseless.

"Earth to Kylee," I was pulled out of my thoughts and looked up and Trinity was hovering above me. "You okay? Do you need anything?" She was like a mother hen since I had been back. Making sure I had been comfortable and taken care of properly.

"Oh, no I am okay. I was just thinking." I glanced at the time. "Shite Jonah is probably outside waiting, he is going to be pissed that I wasn't downstairs waiting for him at 7." I jump up and grab my bag. My body ached. "I'll see you when I can get away again." I hugged her and ran out the door and down the stairs of her flat. That's when I see him….Jax. What the hell is he doing here? I got to the bottom of the stairs and instead of going to the car that is idling to my left, I walked over to Jax. "Jax?"

"Hi, darlin'." He responded like it wasn't some big of a deal that he was in Belfast. We both turned and looked at the club house doors, the same time as the club house door where Happy, Chibs, Opie, Tig and Juice all came out.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, I often dreamt they would show up but I never thought it would be true.

"Here on club business. Have to meet with a few Irish members. Belfast Charter is our home for our visit." He smiled, I didn't smile back. Truth of the matter was I miserable, I rarely had the energy to pull myself out of bed in the morning.

Chibs walked up and pulled me in his arms. "Hello love. How are you? How is the wee one?" He touched my stomach. Jonah honked the horn impatiently. I look back at the car that is waiting, I was sure that I had already pissed him off enough. Jonah was not my favorite person in the world. He told Liam everything I did. He was one of Liam's most trusted men. I look back at the guys and feel Juice's gaze burning me. I look at him quickly then turn back towards Chibs and Jax.

"I have to go." I said as I turned and walked away. How could I have been so cold towards them? They were the sunshine I needed, I felt their warmth covering my body. I wanted nothing more than to run back to them and bask in that warmth. But I didn't. I knew Liam was already impatiently waiting for Jonah's phone call to say he had me and that we were returning to the compound.

"It's about time." Jonah growled at me. I would have liked to hand him over to Happy. I was sure his body would be unrecognizable when he was done. I smiled at the thought. "What are you smiling at?"

"Oh nothing." I replied playing the whole situation over in my head again. I disliked Jonah the most out of all Liam's associates. He was ruthless and followed anything the Liam said. I am sure that if I wouldn't have went back to the car when I did Jonah would have come and pointed a gun at me to get me moving. It wouldn't have been the first time in the last few months. Jonah had beady, gray eyes that were cold, they lacked any compassion or feelings for that matter. His only redeeming quality in his looks was his golden blonde hair. When I first met him it was a messy array on his head, now he shaved it. I am sure that made him feel more intimidating. If I had my choice between meeting Happy in a dark alley or Jonah….I would have chosen Happy. At least he would possibly show me some compassion even though he had no mercy for his enemies. Jonah lacked kindness. I think that is why Liam like him so much. He could send him out on a hit and he wouldn't fall apart, hell he didn't care, killing someone was just like waking up in the morning for him.

The rest of the ride back to the compound was quiet. I kept seeing Juice's face when he saw me. Surprise and happiness, maybe some relief in there. I missed him yes, but I didn't know how I would handle everything with him now because of the whole Ima business. If I got out of Belfast and back to Charming, I guess I would deal with that then. The car came to a halt and I got out. The walls that surrounded the house were tall and always reminded me of being in a compound. I am sure that was the purpose of them. The house itself was rather large in Irish standards, I would have considered it a manor estate. I was about to go in when the door burst open,

"Where have you been?" Liam snarled at me, then looked at Jonah with annoyance.

"She took her own sweet time getting out of Trinity's and then she went to go talk to some of the Sons. I didn't recognize them though." He said point blank to Liam. Stupid Jonah. Now Liam is going to find out that SAMCRO Charming were in for a visit.

"Really?" He turned to me, there was always so much anger in his lovely green eyes. I missed the days when I looked at him and all I saw was a future full of love. Now, I saw nothing more than hate. "Do you want to tell me what he is talking about?" his tone was quiet but stern. I felt like a child whose parent was asking them who ate the last cookie.

"Not really." I reply as I start to go to my room.

"You will tell me! NOW!" Liam yelled. I turned to look at him. His brown hair was unruly he looked like a little boy who was about to throw a major temper tantrum. I glared at him. He knew how much I detested him. He kept me locked away anyways.

"Why should I tell you, Liam?" I shot back. He walked up to me and towered over me.

"Tell me." He shoved me against the wall and grabbed my arms tightly.

I glared back at him. He pushed me harder into the wall, I knocked my head hard but I refused to say a word.

"I take it from your silence that Charming is here. You probably have known the whole time that they would be coming. Do you think they are going to take you away with them? Do you think that they would want to bring you with them, you stupid whore."

I wanted nothing more than to spit in his face and grab his balls and squeeze them until they popped. I hated this man more than anything I have ever disliked. I felt violent towards him, there had been times when we were walking down the stairs and I would have the urge to just shove him. Liam shoved me at Jonah.

"Put her in her room." Jonah grabbed my arm.

"Get your hands off of me." I struggled away, "I know where my room is and I can make it there myself. Or are you worried I will get lost along the way?" I shot back at Liam. "After all, all I am is a stupid whore. Maybe I should start acting like one!"

I got to my room where known to Liam, I had a prepaid cell phone hidden. Seamus gave it to me. He told me to call whenever I needed him. I dialed his number.

"Aye?"

"It's me." I whisper

"Is it bad love?" He questioned

"I want out." I told him, "SAMCRO: Charming is here and I want to leave with them. I don't know how long they are here or when they are leaving."

"I will find out and we'll get you out of there."

"Thanks Seamus."

"Anything for you love." He hung up. We kept the calls short when I did talk to him. We didn't need Liam to walk in and find out our plan.

It was several days before I heard from Seamus again. It was rather quiet around the compound. I pretty much stayed in my room which I felt was my haven of safety. Liam never came in there and the maids brought me my food so I was okay. When I finally heard from Seamus it was in a text.

_Be ready by 7pm. X Seamus_

I had already packed a bag with some of my favorite clothes and shoes. I knew I could purchase more when I got to Charming. I just needed to get out of there. I needed to feel safe again and comfortable in my own skin again. I hated myself for allowing Liam to treat me the way he had for so long.

7 o'clock came and I was sitting up front near the entry way when Seamus came in. He took my bag just as Liam walked into the house with a few of his "business" associates.

"Hello Seamus." He said, I am sure he was surprised to see his older brother. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought I would get the little lady out of the house. We're going to go out of town for a few days. I am sure the fresh air will do her some good."

Liam never disrespected his older brother, he always held him in high regard. He was higher ranking than him anyway so he knew if he said the wrong thing Seamus could have wiped out his empire he had been building for himself.

"Okay. See you soon love." He kissed my cheek. I said nothing. I wiped his kiss off my cheek like a disrespectful child and walked out the door with Seamus.

The drive back to SAMCRO Belfast seemed to take forever. I didn't know if was my excitement for freedom or the truth that I would need to tell them that made it feel like we were crawling along. When we finally got there it was quiet. I was scared they had already left, not that I couldn't have flown to Charming on my own, I just wanted to feel safe doing it. I took a deep breath as I got out of the car and walked towards my future. We walked into the club house and I saw the back of Trinity's head I heard Juice's voice.

"She was probably cold because of what I did to her in Charming. I fucked up and I know it. She is probably still pissed about that."

"Don't give yourself that much credit, Juice." I said as I came into view. "You're not the reason I was cold, Belfast does that to a person." Trinity grabbed my hand when I reached her side. I whispered in her ear, "I am going to tell them." She looked up at me with concern knowing the pain that I had been baring. All the guys were there as I grabbed the hem of my shirt and started to slowly lift it up revealing the deep purple and yellow bruises that covered my abdomen and ribs.

"What the fuck?" Is all I heard, I didn't know who said it could have been all of them for all I knew. I hadn't shown anyone but Trinity my bruises. "I'll kill him." I made out that voice and it was Seamus.

I was taken back to the day that it happened as I glanced down at my bruises_. I was out with Trinity and Kerrie, we were shopping for the baby. I got back with loads of goodies. I walked into Liam and his associates waiting for me. _

"_Hello Liam." I smiled with my arms filled with bags. He did not return the smile. _

"_Who is Juice?" He asked me. I hadn't mentioned Juice in his presence, I only talked with Trinity and Kerrie. I knew that they would never had told him anything. _

"_Don't you mean what is juice?" I asked_

"_No! WHO!" He snarled. As he pushed me towards the dining room. Shite I thought, I forgot to put my computer away. I had received an email from Tara earlier that day, she was wondering how things were going. She also told me all about how Juice had been moping around since the night I left. When they had talked she mentioned that he was extremely upset about how he left things with me. _

"_It doesn't matter who Juice is." I replied, "I came back to you, shouldn't that count?" _

"_The baby is his isn't it?" he was so angry, I had never seen him that angry before. _

"_No Liam, the baby is yours." I pleaded. I knew nothing good was going to happen._

"_You lying whore, it is his. You were fucking him the whole time you were there!" He threw me against the table and I fell to the ground spilling baby things everywhere. "That is fine, that thing growing inside of you will never meet its father!" _

_I tried to curl up in a ball I was successful blocking the first few blows with defense of my own, but then Liam's associates came and grabbed my arms and legs. I remember the first few blows one was from Liam and the other was from Jonah. I screamed and struggled to get away. I begged them to stop, telling them that it was Liam's baby. I finally blacked out. I remembered waking up in the hospital alone and with only one heart monitor beeping._

"They killed the baby." I said. I told them the story about what happened. They all sat there in silence. I couldn't look at any of them so I stared at the small cigarette burn in the gray carpeting. "I guess in a way it was a blessing. I no longer have any ties to him." Seamus muttered something unintelligible about how he was going to rip his brother limb for limb. He then stormed out of the club house. I sat down on the arm of the chair where Trinity was sitting. "I want to come back to Charming if you guys will take me back with you." I looked up at the faces of the six men who I had just reviled my deepest and most shameful secret. I thought about what Kip would have done if he was here. I do not doubt he would have killed Liam himself. Their faces were a mixture of concern and anger. I saw something crazy in Happy's face. It was same face I saw in my imagination when he beat Jonah to a pulp.

Juice walked up to me and took my hands into his hands and kissed them. He made my stomach jump and the butterflies jumped into action. "You need to come home." He said quietly. Home. It sounded so right. I stood up and let Juice take me into his arms and embrace me. This was my home, I thought. If I had to go through all the pain and loss for this one moment it was totally worth it. He kissed my forehead and turned towards Jax and the other club members. "You all know what I think. And I am sure I know what you think too."

"Come home, so I can give you shit." Happy said.

"Ah, Hap did you miss me?" I was slightly shocked.

"I am not admitting to anything. But there is a used condom with your name on it sitting somewhere in the clubhouse. I had the prospects save one they found."

"Gross!" I gagged.

Jax looked at me, "I think we all agree that you need to come home. That is really the reason why we came here. Trinity called me and told me you were in trouble. We didn't hesitate, we were on the next plane." I looked at Trinity, she really was my best friend.

"Thank you, Triny." I took her hand in mine.

"We've got trouble outside." Seamus walked quickly back into the clubhouse. "Liam is here with Jonah."

The guys all tensed up and then stood up and put their hands on their guns. "Please just wait." I said. I turned towards the door waiting for the storm to come. In they walked full of their normal brute.

"I knew you would be here." Liam said his voice was full of venom. "Do you really think I would let you leave that easily?" He tried to grab my arm but I back away right into Juice, put his arms around me defensively. "So this must be the man who fucked my girl and got her pregnant." He looked pointedly at Juice.

"You got your story all wrong. The baby was yours, we had sex after she found out she was pregnant." He shot back. Damn you, Juice, I though.

"I knew you were a slut." He shouted at me.

"Really! Really?" I yelled back. I pushed Juice away and walked up to Liam. "Why do you even care? You killed everything we ever had! I haven't loved you in over a year. Why do you want me here still?"

He looked at me like he was considering why he wanted me there still. "You're mine." He grabbed my arm to pull me away. "I do whatever I want with what is mine." He started to grab his gun from its holster that was under his arm. I could tell that there were other guns being pulled at the same time from Jonah's reaction. I hit Liam in the fold of his arm and was able to grab his gun from him. I pointed it at him. "What are you going to do little girl? Do you really think that you would be able to shoot me?"

"You? No. Him?" I turned to Jonah and pointed the gun at him, "Yes." I pulled the trigger and shot Jonah in the arm that was holding his gun.

"ARG," he screamed out, "You fucking bitch." He tried to grab his gun that he had dropped. It was too late Happy and Tig were standing over him with guns pointed at him. Liam looked at me in disbelief.

"What?" I ask him. "Did you not think I had it in me? You would be surprised what being beat up and treated like shit will do to a girl. You're going to let me go live my life and be happy." Handed the gun to Juice who stood behind me tensely. "Do you remember when we met?" I asked him.

He looked at me some softness came back into his eyes, something I hadn't seen in months. "How could I?"

"Do you remember what you told me?" He shook his head. "You told me you wanted me to always be happy. Liam I haven't been happy with you for a long time. You are no longer the man that I love. You haven't been that man for a long time. Just let me go." I said.

"He'll let you go." Seamus looked intentionally at Liam. "HE has some justice to deal with." Seamus pushed he brother in the shoulder and out the door. Tig and Happy took Jonah outside with him. I didn't hear any more gun shots which mean Seamus would see retribution would be carried through with him too.

"Could it really have been that easy?" I said out loud as I collapsed on a chair. "Am I really free to go?" Relief flooded over me. I started to laugh. "Holy fuck, I need a drink."

Juice went into the kitchen of the clubhouse and came back with a bottle of whisky. "Here." He handed me the bottle and I took a long drink out of it. The light brown liquid filled me with warmth.

"So when are we going home?" I asked him.

"Tomorrow morning. We were going to leave without you. You seemed like you didn't want us here." Chibs replied.

"I'm sorry about that. I have been so unhappy since I left Charming." I looked at Juice.

"About that." Juice said. I could tell he was going to go into a long apology.

"Shut up Juice. Not tonight. Too much has happened tonight, let's just pretend for one night that didn't happen." I snuggled up close to him. "Hey Hap." I turned to him, he was sitting at one of the table with Opie and a few of the Sons from the Belfast Charter, they were talking a drinking beers.

"Yeah." He twisted in his seat and looked at me.

"You should know I am one hell of a shot." I said with a wink.

"I'll keep that in mind and always make a prospect do my dirty work when it comes to you."

I smiled he was like an older brother to me now. Come to think about it they were all like my brothers, all of them but Juice. How could I have ever thought that Belfast was my home, when my home should have always been Charming. The place where I was welcomed from the start as a daughter, friend and lover. My thoughts then went to Trinity and Kerrie, how could I dismiss their friendship and loyalty? They had been there with me through the hardest times in my life. They were two of the most amazing people I had ever met. I would be sad to be leaving them. I yawned and stretched my ribcage still twinged in places. I grabbed my side.

"Are you okay?" Juice was full of concern.

"I'm fine, occasionally my ribs hurt. They broke two on each side so it takes time to heal. I am tired though. It's been a long day and I just want it to end."

"You can take my bed." Opie offered. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"Thanks Op." I grabbed my bag from the floor, I glanced at the blood stain on the rug next to it. I shuttered at the thought of shooting at another living being again. I just hated that man so much, I never thought I would dislike someone the way I disliked Jonah. I knew if I didn't do something I would have been the one with the bullet in my head. I walked down the hall to the bathroom, I wanted to brush my teeth and wash my face. There as a knock on the bathroom door, it was Juice.

"I told Opie not to worry about giving up his bed because you could sleep with me tonight. I just want to hold you." He gave me a slight smile. "Even if it's just for one night." He extended his hand to me and I took it. I followed him to the bedroom he was staying in. He sat down on the bed and I took of my pants and put on my yoga pants for pajama bottoms. Even though he had seen me naked before I was self-conscious around him. I was excruciatingly aware of the bruises on my body. I started to lift up my shirt and change into one more comfortable when I felt his lips on my stomach. "I am so sorry that this has happened to you. If I could take away the pain you have suffered I would." I just looked at him. I loved him with every fiber of my being. I couldn't find it in me to tell him at that moment so I showed him. I kissed him with passion and wanting. When we parted I finished changing and climbed into bed next to Juice. For the first time in months I knew I would get a goodnights sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I rolled over in the bed, and saw his beautiful face. Juice looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. What a way to wake up in the morning. I thought to myself. I nuzzled close to him and put my head on his bare chest and listened to him heartbeat. His breathing changed slightly, I knew he was waking up. I looked up at him with my chin on his chest.

"Good morning beautiful." He smiled at me and took my hand into his. I smiled back, I could get use to this, I thought. I felt happy and safe for the first time in a very long time. "How did you sleep?" He asked as he kissed my hand.

"I slept really well. I am looking forward to getting out of Belfast today and putting all this behind me. Behind us." I kissed him, and then went to get up and he pulled me to him. He kissed me again this time it was deeper more passionate.

"Let's stay in bed a bit longer." He had desire burning in his eyes.

"Mmm, that sounds nice." I replied as I kissed his chest. He rolled me on to my back so he was now hovering over me. The muscles in his arms rippled as he held up his own weight being careful not to crush me. I missed looking into his eyes, I missed feeling his lips on mine. I didn't know that I could hold the whole Ima thing against him, I mean I thought I was leaving him forever. I had also told him that I was pregnant with another man's baby. We just felt so right, it was like we fit together perfectly. He stated to kiss my neck and I melted into a puddle of mush. I moaned with pleasure.

"That is what I want to hear." He his voice full of lust. He pulled up my shirt and started kissing my bruises one by one slowly moving my shirt higher and higher until I was completely shirtless. He started to work on my pants when there was a knock on the door. He sighed. Thwarted, I thought. We both looked at the door like to children caught in some naughty act. Wait we were caught in a compromising position. I was grateful the person on the other side of the door a respect enough not to just barge in.

"Rise and shine, we need to get on the move." It was Jax.

"We're up, thanks." Juice replied as he kissed my forehead as he rolled back over onto his side of the bed, leaving me shirtless and cold on my side. "I guess we'll have to finish this later." He smiled

"Will we now?" I smiled as I sat up in the bed. I didn't see the need of putting my shirt back on while I was going to change anyway. I caught a glimpse of my bruised skin in the mirror and stopped, I had avoided mirrors so much the last few weeks that I didn't really understand the extent of my injuries. I had bruising under my right arm near my breast all the way down to my thigh. That must have been the side that was facing up, I considered as I studies my bruises. I turned to look at myself full on in the mirror and I could see some of the smaller bruises were fading to nasty yellow color. Soon I thought all I will be left with is just the memory and nothing more. I looked up in the mirror to see Juice watching me. "I haven't looked at myself in a mirror since this has happened." I told him.

"They'll fade. I think you look beautiful no matter what." He pulled his shirt over his head. I grabbed clothes out of my bag and got dressed. My favorite traveling clothes I thought as I pulled out a gray vintage t-shirt, the cotton was soft, even after all the years of wear and a pair of jeans. I wasn't worried about make-up, it would get messed up on the airplane. I put my hair into a messy bun and turned to Juice who was still tying his shoes.

"Juan Carlos, you take longer to get ready then me." I jested.

"Some of us do have boners to contend with." He said as he stood up there was a bulge in his pants.

I considered him for a second, I couldn't understand why he was still so turned on. Then I realized I had been standing half nude in the mirror for a while. When I was looking at the bruises and that was all I could see, he was seeing me and not the discoloration of my skin. I grinned at him, walked up and kissed him.

"You're an evil woman." He joked as he grabbed my bag off the floor. I didn't know if it was for cover or he was just being a gentleman. It was probably both. We walked down the hall to the main room of the clubhouse. Trinity was talking to Opie and Jax and Kerrianne was in the arms of her da. I loved those two woman so deeply. I felt the pain of losing them hit me.

"Trin,"I whimpered.

"Oh lovey." She ran up to me and we embraced. Tears ran down both our cheeks. Kerri came gave us both a hug at the same time.

"I am going to miss you both so very, very much!" I exclaimed. We had been inseparable since the first day I moved to Belfast. We were instant friends. "Promise me you will come to Charming to visit me."

"Of course." They said in unison.

Trinity looked directly at Juice and said, "You better be good to our girl. Or there will be hell to pay."

"You have nothing to worry about." He looked at me then Trinity.

"I had words with the other members and they will give you the Liam treatment if you do." I knew what that meant. I knew Seamus didn't let his brother or Jonah see the light of day. They breathed their last breath sometime over the night, while I was sleeping peacefully in Juice's arms.

One of the members of the Belfast charter walked into the clubhouse and yelled, "Timed to go!" They would escort us out of the city limits and we would travel the rest of the way to the airport. As we were walking out I saw a newspaper sitting on the table with a photo of two dead men and the headline.

_**TWO FOUND DEAD THIS MORNING**_

The photo was of Liam and Jonah. They were sitting up against a fence, each had blood dripping from a single bullet wound to the head. Relief washed over me in waves. I would never have to worry about Liam deciding he needed to get revenge or think he needed to get me back. I handed the paper to Juice who looked at it and said,

"Good." And he tossed the paper back on the table and took my hand into his. There was no sympathy for them in his voice or action.

The day was actually sunny and warm. I was actually quite sad to leave during a day like this. These were the days I looked forward to; the days when I would spend the day basking and worshiping the sun. I shouldn't have been sad, I would have far more day of sun than rain going back to Charming. I would have way more warmth and happiness than I had in years. As we got onto the bikes, I took one last look at SAMBEL clubhouse and Trinity's house. Then I glanced at my best friends one last time too. I waved at them and blew them kisses. I knew our paths would cross again. We didn't meet in this life to never have our paths cross again. I loved them like sisters. We would always be sisters. I turned around as Juice kicked his bike to life. I grabbed on to my new life tightly as we drove away into the Northern Irish countryside. We arrived at the airport about two hours after we set forth from the Belfast clubhouse. We were leaving out of a small town because that is where Elliott Oswald has a freight airplane waiting for SAMCRO to go home. For me to go home. I thought about all the hoops that SAMCRO had to jump through to get here to for me. I smiled at the thought of how much they care about me. I wasn't even their flesh and blood but they treated me as if I were.

Juice parked his bike next to Happy's bike. Happy was already taking off his helmet and getting off of his bike before we had settled into our spot.

"Are you ready to go home?" Juice asked me as he helped me off of his bike.

"Home, such a lovely word." I smiled at him, "yes I am." I looked over at Happy who was looking sort of sad…that is if Happy could have looked sad.

"What's wrong Happy?" I asked him as I walked over to him. He looked at me.

"I wish I would have been the one who killed them." He had that crazed look in his eyes, the one that would normally scare me but as I got to know him I knew that it meant nothing towards me.

"Don't worry Hap, you have in my imagination plenty of times. I had a great fantasy of you maiming and killing Jonah. He was unrecognizable after you got done with him." I grinned at him.

"Good!" He smiled back at me. "At least I could help you that way. I feel helpless when it comes to what happened to you and the baby."

He was showing me his vulnerable side which I appreciated. "There is nothing anyone could have done. Everything happens for a reason. Liam would never had let me leave if I was still carrying his child. You coming here to get me with Juice means more than you could ever know." I touched his arm gently and smiled up at him.

"Let's get out of here." Jax called. As he rode his bike up the airplane's cargo hatch. I walked up instead of riding up the hatch. I felt safer that way. We would be in California in about 10 hours give or take. I was looking forward to seeing Tara, Gemma and Donna. I was looking forward to being alone with Juice again. We needed to talk about the whole Ima thing but right now I wasn't really in the mood to discuss that gash. When the bike were loaded up and secured we sat down on comfortable couches and chairs. Elliott took care of our comforts.

"Now Kylee since you aren't hiding anything from us. Would you like to see what it is like to be drunk whilst flying?" Chibs gleefully suggested as he held up two bottles of Jameson.

"Aye scot. Tis a bit early for me but let's go." I threw some of my Irish at him. I knew I couldn't drink him under the table but I would try. "I'll defend my Irish heritage against you. Did you lift those from SAMBEL?"

"Aye. They won't miss them and what are they going to do take them back now?" He admitted then laughed. We hadn't even taken off yet. My favorite parts of flying were the taking off and the landing. If the pilot did it right it was like being on a roller coaster. Chibs sat on the couch across from me. Juice was busy talking to Opie and Jax as Chibs handed me a bottle.

"Am I supposed to drink this all by myself?" I inquired. He smirked.

"Nah, I'll help." Happy took the bottle from me opened it and took a long drink of it. "I hate flying, especially take-off and landing." I looked at him in disbelief.

"Really? Those are my favorite parts. I love watching the land get further and further from me. It's exhilarating." He handed me the bottle of Jameson, I took a drink of it and then I handed it Chibs who took a long drink.

Juice walked over to us and looked at me, "Being influenced by these two already?"

"You can join us for a drink." Chibs handed him the bottle. I moved over so he could sit by me. Happy sat next to Chibs. Soon after Opie, Jax and Tig joined us in our drinking. Chibs was right there as nothing better than flying at 50,000 feet and drinking. The plane ride consisted of us drinking and then passing out…well I passed out before I was too drunk. I was exhausted from everything that had went down over the past few days; hell the past month. I needed to sleep for a few days straight to regain my energy. I awoke when we hit a patch of turbulence, Juice wasn't near me so I looked around and I saw him and Opie talking. I was going to get up but I could hear what they were saying,

"…I don't want to bring it up with her Op. She has already been hurt so badly, plus she hasn't brought it up yet. I feel horrible about what I did to her with Ima. I needed to blow off steam that night. I told her I loved her that morning and then I let Ima give me a blowjob, and that is certainly a way to tell a girl you love her right? I look at her and I feel that sting even though I am the one who caused it." I knew that they were talking about me and what to do next. I yawned and decided to not pay attention to what they were saying and try to go back to sleep. Eventually Juice moved me slightly so he was spooning me on the couch. He thought he was being careful and trying not to wake me but I was already awake, I turned over to face him. "I'm sorry did I wake you?" He whispered, no need to talk loud when the person you were to was just inches from your own face.

"No I was somewhat awake. I am groggy, stupid airplanes and whiskey." Never again I thought to myself. Juice had concern in his eyes, he opened his mouth like he was going to say something and then stopped. I sat up on the couch, we were too close for what conversation was going to happen. "If you want to say something Juice, just say it." I stood up and started to walk away, I was surprised how nice it was traveling in a cargo plane, slightly louder than traveling in a normal plane but it was far more comfortable. I heard Juice get up behind me and follow me.

"We need to talk don't we?" He said quietly with defeat. I knew he didn't want to bring up Ima but he was going to, I am sure that is what he thought I needed to heal or to make things right with me. He was probably right. But at that moment I was dealing with leaving Liam, shooting someone (even if he was a complete sadist) and the death of the baby so the Ima thing was the least of my concerns but it if made Juice feel better I would deal with it when he needed to. "Every time I look at you I see your face when you found me with Ima."

"What am I supposed to do about that Juice?" I asked

"Nothing. I just want you to know, that I have never regretted anything more in all my life. I betrayed you. I told you I loved you and the first time I am given a chance to prove it I shit on it. I probably no better than Liam." He paused rubbing his head. "I don't deserve your forgiveness but I am asking for it." I couldn't remember the last time I had been apologize to. I considered him as he stood there, he looked at me his stance was defeated. "Without you I have been broken." He finished

I smiled sympathetically, "Juice, honestly what happened with Ima broke my heart. She's a worthless piece of human being who is taking up precious air. I cannot say that I haven't been mad at you for the past few months because I have been. Whenever I thought of you, my mind would see Ima giving you a blowjob. It still stings, it probably will for a while. But that doesn't mean I cannot forgive you because as soon as I saw your face in Belfast I forgot about it and forgave you. I don't know still if I can trust you especially when Ima is still in the picture."

"She can be out of the picture." He replied. I knew that couldn't be true, because she worked at Cara-Cara which the Sons owned. They also helped with security there when it was needed, she would always be around until she lost her beauty, got pregnant or contracted an STD. All of which I hoped happened to her immediately.

"Not really. You guys are at Cara-Cara, she will never really be gone. All I know is if I see her anytime soon I will lose my fucking mind. Too much has happened lately and I feel like I am going to snap. She might be that straw that breaks me." I looked at him. "Anyway, I am willing to work through this with you but I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." He quickly replied.

"Hear me out before you make any hasty decisions because you might not like what I have to say." He raised his eyebrows. "Juice, I need you to promise me you will never cheat on me. I know that some of the guys have clauses, basically what happens in another charter stays there but that doesn't work for me. I have already been treated like shite for years and I can't handle being lied to or cheated on."

"I promise." He didn't even hesitate. I closed the space between us and looked up at him.

"Are you sure? I feel like I am asking a lot of you."

"Why? Because you would get to worship my body?"

"What? Are you kidding me? Do you think your some sort of sex god?" I scoffed. He raised his eyebrows at me. "You'll have to prove it to me, then I will decide if I should worship your body…granted it's sexy enough to be."

"You two really need to just fuck." I heard from behind me and there was Tig walking through the plane to use the bathroom which was towards the front near the cockpit. We laughed at him as he walked by, the truth of the matter was we did but we didn't have the privacy that I would like or the time.

"I think he's right you know." Juice pulled me close to him.

"Not here. Not now." I said. I would not become an exhibitionist. I would not become like one of the crow eaters, I was better than them. I thought to myself. I didn't need to throw myself at Juice he did that himself. "Let's just go lay back down. I'm still somewhat tipsy from the damn Jameson." We went back to the couch which was now taken by Tig, I didn't even see him pass by us again. That was fine there were some blankets piled near one of the sides of the plane so we took one of the pillows that Tig stole from us and went to lay on the blankets. I nestled in next to Juice with my head on his chest letting him have the pillow. I laid there and listened to his heartbeat, before I knew it I was being woken up the by sound of landing gear and Juice caressing my hair and quietly saying, "Hey Ky, we are almost home." I stretched out, my muscles were sore and my side ached terribly. I cringed as I sat up. "Are you okay?" Juice asked.

"I'm fine. It's just my ribs." I stood up slowly clutching my side. Opie who was sitting in one of the chairs near us noticed me.

"You should get that checked out by the doc when we get back." Opie said with concern.

"Didn't they give you any pain meds?" Juice asked.

"Yes of course they did but somehow they disappeared. I'm sure they ended up in Liam's pocket. He didn't care anymore, plus I am sure he wanted me to remember what the pain meant. It will go away, I as just laying on that side so I am sure that is why I am sore there."

"Stop making excuses, you are going to see Tara when we get back."

"Fine." There was no use in arguing because I was pretty sure that one of the Sons would carry me against my will to see Tara.

"We should all sit down." Jax came walking towards us from the front of the plane, "We'll be landing in about 5 minutes."

The landing was bumper than I would have liked, but watching Happy's face turn pale white made all the head jerking worth it. I smiled at him, he grimaced back at me. "Don't worry tough guy, I will keep your secret." I said to him as we came to a stop. I chose to go out the back of the plane by walking, I needed to stretch my legs on solid ground again. The plane was large enough to walk around in but it was like jolting and it wasn't like being on solid ground. The guys drove their Harley's out and stopped near me where I was standing with my eyes closed and facing the sun with a funny smile on my face. I missed the sun.

"Someone is happy to be back." Chibs winked at me.

"I am so glad that it is sunny out." I replied as I walked over to Juice who was holding out a helmet for me. I strapped it on and climbed onto the back of his bike. From what I understood of the plans we were going to head back to the clubhouse before going home. The guys needed to check in with Clay and Bobby. I am sure it was to fill them in on what happened in Belfast and to discuss what SAMBEL was up to. Thankfully the ride to the clubhouse wasn't that long, my side was continuing to bother me and I was exhausted even though I did get some sleep on the plane. There was something about traveling also the time difference was starting to kick my ass. I just wanted to shower and go to bed and sleep for days. We got back to SAMCRO and there were people sitting outside waiting for the guys to return. I was surprised that there were so many crow eaters waiting as well. I picked out a few familiar faces, Tara, Gemma and Donna were all there. The guys all lined their bikes up and turned them off one by one. Tara and Donna went running up to Jax and Opie. They really loved their men. I smiled as I took off my helmet and got off of Juice's bike. He laced his fingers into mine as we walked towards the club house.

"Glad to have you back, darlin'" Gemma came and embraced me and kissed my cheek. "How you feeling?"

"I'm tired and sore but nothing a good night's sleep won't cure." I said to her, Juice recollected my hand as Ima walked out of the club house with a smile that soon faded when she saw me.


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

It took me a second to realize she was walking right up to us. She was wearing a once one piece summery looking jumper. It was bubble gum pink and it made her look like she was 15 years old. She had far more make up than a 15 year old should wear.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Ima hissed as she looked at Juice's hand intertwined with mine. "You going to raise that bastard child, she's carrying Juicy?" She made a pouty face at him. Did she really just say that? I thought.

"Shut the fuck up you stupid whore," I spit back at her as I let go of Juice's hand. I could feel my blood boiling. Juice tried to grab my hand again, to pull me back and I shrugged him off. I wanted nothing more than to pound her pretty face into the pavement.

"Honey, if you remember the last time you were here, I was the one who ended up on top. Literally! That night Juice fucked me in at least 20 different positions. We went all night." I took a deep breath and turned around to leave. I hear Gemma mumble something. I knew nothing good would have come if I continued standing there, we were already drawing the attention of the other Sons. "I'm not done with you yet, you stupid bitch. Do you think you can come back here and steal my man?" She grabbed my shoulder.

I turned around and punched her right in the nose and she fell backwards onto her ass. "First of all don't ever touch me with your nasty hands again. Second if he was your man then why did he come to Belfast for me?" I watched the blood stream through her hands which were holding her nose. "Have fun trying to suck cock with a broken nose, you foul skag." I walked passed her into the club house to get ice for my hand, her face was surprisingly hard.

"Hey." One of the prospects said to me as I walked in.

"Can you get me some ice for my hand and a shot of something strong?"

"Um…" He looked past me at someone who must have been Juice who had followed me inside. "Yeah, no problem." He poured me something that was clear and handed me a bag of ice for my hand. I sat on the stool at the bar and took the shot. It burned as it went down. Juice sat next to me and turned towards me.

"I'm sorry she was here." He said to me. I was sort of angry with him as well. He left out the fact that they were together even after I left. Or maybe she said that to me to piss me off.

"Well I am glad someone finally put her in her place. She walks around here like she owns the place." I heard Donna saying as she walked in, she was walking with Opie and Jax. Donna walked up to me and gave me a hug. "Glad you back. How are you?"

I wasn't sure if she knew about the baby or what happened so I looked at Opie and asked, "Does she know?"

"Jax called Tara yesterday after everything happened and we knew you were coming back with us." I was grateful I wouldn't have to relive the telling of what happened.

"I am okay. I just want to go home, no offense to anyone here. I am just done with today. Too much has happened in the past few days. But I am happy to see you." I looked at her. I had missed her.

"Oh, Ky, it is understandable." She then whispered in my ear, "I am so glad you punched her." I smiled slightly at her then turned to Juice.

"I know you have a meeting but can you get a prospect to take me home?" I asked him.

"I'll take you home." Tara smiled at me. Oh thank god another friendly face. I hated to start out my time back on the wrong foot. I don't know who saw what happened but I knew Juice and Gemma would tell them what happened. Was I actually feeling bad about punching Ima? Ugh I needed sleep.

Juice gently grabbed my arm as I got up and started to walk away. "I'll come over after we finish here."

I just nodded as he kissed my hand and then said, "I'll leave the door unlocked."

Tara and I were walking out of the clubhouse as Clay walked by us. He was a big man with silver hair, blue eyes and a defining brow. He stopped me…shit I thought.

"Nice job, sweetheart. One less piece of gutter trash hanging around. I am glad you didn't let her treat you like she was Juice's old lady. We all know he's been pussy whipped by you since day one." He smiled at me. "Glad your back." He hugged me and said quietly, "sorry about the baby."

"Thanks." I looked up at him thankful he wasn't pissed off about the whole situation with Ima. Tara and I got outside and saw that Ima was still hanging around. She was crying at Happy who was listening with some irritation.

"She just punched me out of nowhere Happy. She is a crazy bitch, do you really think Juice should be with someone like that?" I heard her say. Happy smiled at me and then Ima saw I was coming out of the building and clung to Happy like I was gunning for her. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. If I was going to hurt her, I would have done it while she was done.

"I would love to see her punch your pretty little face again. I heard what you said to her and if I were her I would have done a lot worse. Actually you are lucky she only broke your nose, she should have done worse." He pushed her away from him and towards Tara and me. She let out a yelp and ran to her car. She had blood down the front of her, I hoped that it ruin that ugly jumper I thought. Happy walked passed us and touched me lightly on the shoulder. I smiled weakly at him.

The drive to my brother's house…my house was short and Tara didn't say much. I was sure that she knew I just needed silence. It was nice and it didn't feel forced or awkward. When we pulled into driveway, I noticed a large sign on my garage, it said

WELCOME HOME KYLEE!

It warmed my soul to see that they cared so much. I smiled and looked over at Tara who was smiling too.

"I am glad you're back. I've missed you." She said.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked her, she looked at me. "I've been having some pretty severe pains in my side for the last few days. Is there any way I could have you take a peek at my side?"

"Of course." We went into the house. "Surprise!" She said. I looked around the house and it looked completely different. The walls were painted a lovely shade of light blue and there was new carpet and furniture in it. I started to tear up, the giving and caring nature of these people were far beyond anything I had ever experienced in my life.

"I love it. It's too much though." I wiped the tears from eyes.

"I cannot take all the credit, it was Juice's idea." She lightly hugged me. "Now let's take a look at your side."

I took a deep breath and lifted up my shirt. Ashamed of the bruising my body held. "It hurts right here." I touched the right side of my body which was still a deep purple color. "The doctor never told me if anything was broken, I am sure that Liam just paid him off. He sent me home with some pain meds that I only had for a few days before they disappeared." Thinking about it further, no one ever asked me what happened. I wish I would have known the story that he told the doctors. It was too late to ever find out.

Tara started touching out by pushing softly on my left side, "Does this hurt?" She asked me. I shook my head. Then she moved to my right side using the same amount of pressure, I winced in pain. "I think you have a few broken ribs but we can't be sure unless we do an x-ray. Are you up for going over to the hospital now?"

"Do I have much choice?" I asked her. Knowing that I really should just get it done.

"We can wait until tomorrow but if we go now, I will be able to prescribe some pain medication for you if we find out they are broken."

"Alright let's go." I started towards the door. "Can you call Jax and have him tell Juice what is going on?"

"Of course." She grabbed her cell phone and called Jax. "Hey baby, I know you guys are in your meeting but when you get this message will you let Juice know I brought Kylee to the hospital for some x-rays. And I will have her back home in no time. Love you."

At the hospital Tara and I waiting for the x-rays to be developed, it seemed like it was taking forever. She looked at my hand too while we were there. It has started to bruise slightly from where it came into contact with Ima's nose. Thankfully my hand didn't hurt. The nurse walked out of the back room with three radiographs.

"Here you go Dr. Knowles." She handed Tara the radiographs.

"Thanks Jane. Let's go to my office we can look at them in there." We went to her office where she hung the radiographs up one by one. I wasn't a doctor but I knew what broken bones looked like. I had three broken ribs one of was broken in several places. "Do you have any shortness of breath?"

"No, I have just been in pain. Breathing just fine."

"Well you are lucky then, there are no other injuries to the organs around these ribs. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to fix them but I can give you pain meds so that will help out a lot. Also I recommend no strenuous activity for the next 3 to 4 weeks while your ribs heal."

I laughed. "You want to write me a note so I can give it to Juice." Tara laughed she jotted something on a piece of paper and handed it to me. It said _Kylee is out of commission for 3 to 4 weeks pending another x-ray. DOCTOR Tara Knowles._ "Thanks." I giggled. How was he going to take that? I knew I would have a hard time but I was the one who was in pain so I could refrain. Tara wrote me a prescription for pain meds.

When I got back to my house, Juice still wasn't there. I decided to draw a bath for myself. I pulled out my bath stuff I brought with from Ireland. I was looking forward to just relaxing. I went into the kitchen as the tub was filling and looked in the refrigerator, they had fully stocked it…including wine. I looked into my cabinets and they were filled as well. I pulled a wine glass out and filled it with the Riesling that was in the fridge. Then went back into the bathroom and climbed into the bathtub with my glass of wine. Bubbles brimmed over the edge of the tub. I heard his Harley pull up to the house, but didn't bother getting out of the bath tub. He would find me. The front door opened and closed, I heard him out in the kitchen; he was probably taking off his cut and gun.

"Ky?" Juice said quietly.

"I'm in here." I responded. He opened the door and stood in the doorway. He looked tired, he had, had a long day as well. "Care to join me?" I asked him.

He nodded as he took off his shirt. "How did the hospital go?" I basked in his shirtless wonder.

"I have three broken ribs. Tara wrote you a note…" I nod over towards my pants that were lying in the middle of the floor. He pulled the note out of my pants. He laughed.

"Okay, so no sex for a month huh?" He said as he started to take off his pants.

"Are you okay with that?" I looked up at him as he dropped his underwear on the floor behind him and motioned for me to move forward so he could get in behind me.

"For you, I am." He said as he pulled me close to him in the tub. I was happy my house had a tub large enough for the both of us. I laid back on him, I just felt so right with him. Juice played with my wet hair and then embraced me.

"How was your meeting?" I asked him.

"We have to take a run to Tacoma in a week. They have some business up there that we need to help them straighten out." Leaving already I thought, at least we had a week to spend together. "The guys were really impressed with how you handled Ima today. Most of them caught you trying to walk away and her grab you. She deserved you hitting her." Ugh why was he ruining our wonderful bath by bringing her up?

I swallowed hard, "Was what she said true?"

"About having sex with her?" I stared at the water dripping into the tub from the facet as I waited for his answer. "Yes."

I felt the tears drip down my face and on to my chest. I started to sob, I didn't know if I was actually upset that Ima was telling the truth or if I was upset because I had a horrible afternoon and I was exhausted. I started to get out of the bath tub and just to collect myself. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body. "I just need a second." I sobbed as I walked out of the bathroom. I heard Juice get out of the bathtub right after me. I walked into the master bedroom which was outfitted with a new king bed which I threw myself down on and just cried. He came into the room just as I sat up and wiped my face. He was dressed from the bottom down. He kneeled by the bed and took my hands into his but not before wiping a stray tear from my face.

"Kylee, I am sorry. I should have told you but I didn't really think it would have come up that quickly. I didn't think she would have thrown it at you like that." He had regret in his eyes.

"Really? Juice she is horrible person and I hate her. I want to rip to pieces. What sort of person would throw that at another?" I questioned. What made Ima become such an awful person? She was like one of those girls I disliked so much in school? The bitches who thought they ran the whole school when the truth was they were disliked by everyone even the guys they fucked around with. "I am not happy that you guys fucked especially after we had sex earlier that day. But right now I can't process anything. I just need to take some pain meds and go to bed."

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked me. I hadn't even considered the fact that he would be leaving. Because the truth was I wanted him to stay.

"No." I replied. "But would you please leave the room while I change." He nodded and walked out of the room. I changed into my yoga pants and my favorite oversize t-shirt and walked out into the living room where Juice was sitting on the couch texting. He looked over at me as I passed him on my way to the kitchen where I had left my prescription. There were flowers on the table that were not there when I got home. I smiled as I took my meds and walked out into the living room after turning out the lights in the kitchen. "You bought me tulips." I gave Juice a small smile.

"I thought you needed something good to happen today." He replied as he stood up and walked over to me.

"Thank you." I said to him as he hugged me to him.

He tilted my chin up to so I was looking at him and he kissed me softly on the lips. "You're welcome."

I was looking forward to climbing into my new bed, in my own house, in my new city with my boyfriend who had fucked up but I loved him. For some reason I felt like everything was going to work out and life would be fine in the morning after a good night sleep. Juice kissed me goodnight and that is all I remember, once my head hit the pillow I was sound asleep. I didn't wake up even when Juice got out of bed in the morning. I got up around noon. There was a bag with a bagel in it on the table and coffee which was now cold in the coffee pot. There was a note from Juice on the counter,

_Call me when you get up. I didn't want to wake you, however I am sure that I wouldn't have by the way you were snoring . You obviously needed to sleep. I have left one of my prepaid cell phones for you. Xoxo J._

I picked up the phone, it was an old flip phone, seriously this club needs to get into the 21st century I thought. Juice had programed his number into the phone for me which was very sweet. It rang a few times and Juice answered.

"Hey." He said

"Hi. I am finally awake." I replied

"Good, have you eaten yet?"

"No I was just about to dig into this bagel you left me."

"Don't, we'll go get some food at the café. I'll be over in 15."

"Alright, I will get changed and see if I can do something about my hair." I shouldn't have went to bed with it wet. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, where was that carefree girl that was here the last time? There was so much that had happened since I was here last, I needed to find her. My hair was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, I just pulled it back into a messy bun, brushed my teeth and put on some mascara. I was dressed and ready to go by the time Juice walked through the front door.

"Hi" He kissed me. "You look nice."

I looked down at myself, I was wearing a pair of jeans and a tight black shirt. "Thanks. So I really need to go buy a phone today." I told him.

"Okay, we can do that." I handed him the prepaid phone. "Keep it."

"This is a fossil, you know that right?" I joked as I put it on the table that sat by my front door. "I thought you were the technology guy in the club."

"I am." He said in his own defense.

"Then why do all of you guys have flip phones still? There are these wonderful phones out that that you do not need to flip to answer. They are fabulous." I pushed.

"Ha. Ha. Let's go before you make more fun of my club."

"Not making fun of the club, I am making fun of the lack of technology. You guys can keep your flip phones since they seem to have some nostalgic meaning to you all. I will be purchasing one of those new-fangled phones that have cameras. Wow is it a camera or is it a phone? Ooh its two in one." I laughed as he pushed me out the door.

Lunch at the local café was delicious. I went to go take some money out of my bank account but looked at my balance first and it was much larger than it should have been. There had to be a mistake. I had all of the money that Kip left me in another account. I stood there looking at the slip of paper with my account information.

"Can I use your phone?" I asked Juice.

"This old thing?" He held it out so I couldn't grab it. He then saw the confused look on my face. I handed him my bank statement. "Holy shit."

"There has to be a mistake." I said I as grabbed his phone and dialed my banks number, I was happy that my bank was based in the US. "Hello, my name is Kylee Epps and I am calling because I think there is a mistake with my bank account. There is more money in it than should be. " I rattled off my account information to the person on the other line.

"Alright Miss Epps, if you wouldn't mind giving me a second so I can look into this." I could hear typing, "Oh I see what happened. It looks like the large amount of money was transferred to your account this morning from another account in Northern Ireland. We do ask that you do not withdraw any large sums until we have transferred all of the funds."

"Okay well thank you." I said as I hung up. I leaned back against the wall that I was standing by. Juice just stared at me. I dialed Seamus' number.

"Hello?"

"What the fuck?" I asked

"I knew you would be calling. I see you got my gift."

"Your gift?"

"Yes, it was what Liam had in his account. He left everything he had to me. However that money by all means is yours. I don't need it, I have plenty of my own." He said nonchalantly.

I knew that arguing with him was useless and a waste of time. "Alright. Thank you by the way, and not for the money."

"You're welcome. Now go live your life to the fullest! I love you, Ky. Let me know if you ever feel like coming for a visit."

"I love you too, Shay. And if I ever want to visit there again it will be a long time. You can always come stateside you know."

"Aye, I know. I will speak to you soon love."

"Bye." I handed Juice his phone and stood there trying to take it in. I was the recipient of all of Liam's money. He had far more money than I thought and with the exchange rate I had even more. I had more than enough money to buy all of the members of SAMCRO new cellphones.

"What did he say?" Juice questioned me.

I laughed, "It was all Liam's money and Seamus said it was now mine." All 10 million dollars. First thing I was going to do after buying a phone was payback Tara and anyone else who helped set up my house for me.

"Shit."

"I know, right?!" I replied. I would be eternally grateful to Seamus for all his kindness he showed me throughout the years of my relationship with his brother. When I thought about it, he loved me more than he loved his own brother. He killed his brother for what he did to me and our unborn child. I would forever be in his debt but he wouldn't ever call me on it either. That is what I loved about Seamus his giving spirit and his commitment to those he loved.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

Charming was a quiet enough town. I felt utterly comfortable walking around by myself at night which I never felt safe doing that in Belfast. It had been almost two weeks since Juice and the other club members went to Tacoma; they left behind Piney, Opie's dad, he was the "First Nine" and all the prospects. I was on strict orders not to damage Ima's face or physical well-being for that matter, while the guys were gone. I was looking forward to when Juice would be home, don't get me wrong though I did enjoy having a whole bed to myself. I had an appointment at the hospital to get recheck and an x-ray, I was starting to feel better; I only took my pain meds before I went to bed at night. Then, Juice and the guys were expected back sometime that evening. Tara, Donna, Gemma and I were all planning on being at the club when they came back.

At the hospital, Tara send me to radiography. I had my x-rays taken and met Tara back in her office. I had been spending the evenings at her house with Donna and her kids. It has been nice but I just wanted to get back to having Juice in my bed. He called me every night but it wasn't the same as if he was in Charming. The week before he left he spend every evening with me. I was surprised he hadn't mentioned anything about moving. I was okay that he hadn't; I really enjoyed having my very own space for the first time in my life. I was relishing in the fact that I didn't to really have to answer to anyone except for myself. I hadn't had that amount of freedom in over 8 years; I was loving it.

"Sounds like the guys will be home around 5." Tara said. "Jax just called me." I smiled at the thought. "So let's look at your radiographs." Tara put them up on the lighted board and looked at them. They looked much better than the last time I had radiographs done. "Well…it looks like your ribs have healed. You have my seal of approval." She turned and smiled at me.

"I thought I might be doing better because I have been feeling quite well. I want to start boxing again." I said with a smile.

"Oh I am sure you want to box." She winked at me. Truth of the matter was, I couldn't wait to ravage Juice. I hadn't had that long of a dry spell….ever!

I started to gather up my things and turned to her and asked, "Are you coming?"

"No I have a few things to finish up here. Then I'll head to the clubhouse. I am going to go pick up Abel and Thomas. They are with Neeta at the house, I am sure Jax would want to see them." In a way I felt the sting of the loss of my baby. At the end of the day though I was much happier for it. I was actually at a place I was okay with everything that happened over the past month or so. I was finally at a good place in my life, a place where I was happy with myself and everyone in it.

"Alright. I will see you in a few hours." I had decided that I was going to head there early and see if Gemma needed any help at Teller-Morrow and utilize the punching the bag…I often thought about pinning Ima's face to it so I could take my aggression on her.

While the guys were gone I purchased a car. It was a beautiful steel gray BMW sedan; I hadn't realized how much I relied on Juice, one of the other member or their old ladies to get me from point A to point B. I wanted to be independent and a car was just what I needed. I pulled into Teller-Morrow and Gemma's Cadi was parked in the lot. I was grateful she was there because I hated just showing up for no real reason to be there other then I really excited Juice was coming home. I walked into the shop's office where I found Gemma behind the desk buried in paperwork.

"Hey Mama Gemma." I greeted her.

"Hi sweetheart." She looked up briefly.

"Can I help you with any of this?" I picked up a pile of papers and looked at them.

She signed, "You certainly can. Would you take these," she handed me a thick pile of papers, "and call the people on there and let them know that their payments are overdue."

I sat down on the opposite side of the desk as her and picked up the phone to make the calls. It took me nearly an hour and a half to complete the phone calls. I now understood why she had me do it. Most of the people I talked to liked my accent and promised to stop by with money. Too bad for them I would not be in the office. They would most likely get one of the club members or Gemma. I am sure they were curious about what I looked like.

"Well, I am all finished." I handed her the papers back with promissory dates on them, "I think I am going to go take out some frustration on the punching bag."

"Alright sweetheart. Thank you so much for your help. I am sure those clients were happy to hear you versus me again." She smiled at me as I started to walk out of the office. "Hey Kylee?" She called be back, "how'd the appointment go today?"

"Great. I got the okay to get back to my life." I smiled

"I'm sure Juice will be happy to hear that." She winked at me as I left.

I had received several boxes from Northern Ireland earlier in the week. They were from Trinity and Seamus. They had gone into Liam's house and got all the things out of it that they thought I might want. The boxes contained clothes, photos, letters from Kip, my laptop and best of all my boxing gloves. I was going to be using them for the first time in ages. I slipped my hands into and started punching the bag. Every time I punched the bag, I thought of Kip and how he trained me or tried to for that fact. I was 15 years old when he started. He told me it would keep me safe if I was ever in trouble. I smiled as I hit the bag again and again. I also thought of Ima, what I would do to her if there no repercussions. I was feeling really good when I heard a little voice behind me say,

"Auntie Ky." I turned around and there was Abel, standing behind me with his toy motorcycle in his hand.

"Hello Handsome." I smiled as I grabbed the bag to stop it from swinging around. I took off my gloves and crouched down to his level. "What do you have there?" I asked him pointing at his motorcycle.

"Daddy's bike." He showed me proudly.

"That is a very nice bike, can I play with it with you?" I asked him. He was the sweetest little boy. He was a mini Jax, he had his blue eyes, blonde hair and temper when he got mad which was not often but when he did…wow.

"Yes, please Aunty Ky." He smiled at me.

"Well let me go inside and clean up a bit and I will be right back." I had been sweating some and I knew the guys should be back anytime. I smiled at Tara who was pushing Thomas over in his stroller. Donna had just drove in to the parking lot with Opie's and her kids, Ellie and Kenny. I ran into the clubhouse to clean up. I had brought extra clothing which I had stashed back in the apartment. I quick cleaned up and changed. And left the apartment. As I walked out and saw I had lost playing with Abel to Kenny. I carried my bag of stuff over to my car and put it into the trunk. _Mmm New car smell, _ I thought to myself. I sat down with Donna, Tara and Gemma, who had joined them when I was inside cleaning up. You could tell the time was near because the crow eaters were coming out of the woodwork and the prospects where close at hand. I am pretty sure we all heard them at the same time. The rumble in the distance, Harley engines. The kids came running over from the swing set and to their moms. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, I was extremely excited to see Juice. The louder the engine roar got the more people talked. Finally they started filing in one by one.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Abel yelled loudly as he as jumping up and down. Jax dismounted his bike and Abel went running up to him. I smiled contently, I loved seeing the interaction between them. A little boy and his big bad biker dad.

I looked up, smiled and there he was. I wanted to run to him but I restrained myself walking to meet Juice half way. He had a huge smile on his face when I got to him. He didn't even let me say anything to him he just grabbed me and kissed me.

"Hi," I was breathless after the kiss.

"Hey." He replied, "I've missed your beautiful face." He kissed me again then put his arm around me as we walked back towards the clubhouse. I looked around and saw so many happy faces. I was extremely blessed to be a part of this family.

"So…" I stopped him before we got any close to other people. "I had another set of x-rays today."

"And?" He looked so impatient.

"Tara said I was pretty much healed and could carry on with life as normal."

"Well then tonight will be a very happy homecoming." He kissed my neck. We walked into the clubhouse together. It was so nice to be in his arms again. I saw Happy at the bar, I left Juice talking to Bobby about their bikes and how they did during the run. It was something to me that went in one ear and out the other.

"Hey, Hap." I sat down next to him at the bar, "What are you drinkin'?"

"Hey Ky. A brown ale, you want one?" He motioned for the prospect behind the bar to pour me a beer. The prospect whose name I did not know was a very large man with curly golden brown hair and glasses.

"Thank." I took the beer from the prospect. "How was the run?" I asked Happy.

"It was good. Time to catch up other charters and plenty of new crow eaters to fuck." I looked at him and was going to ask about Juice but before I could he continued, "You must really have Juice pussy whipped. He didn't even abide by what happens on a run stays on a run rule." I smiled.

"Well I am glad he didn't take part in the crow eater fun with you guys. But you know he did leave more pussy for you then." He laughed. I thought about the life of crow eater or a sweet butt, they were just stuck around hoping a club member would find them worth-while enough to make an old lady. But to be passed around from guy to guy and not carrying which one you fucked or who you fucked for that matter. There were an amply amount of them, who would be with another girl or two just to make a Son happy. I didn't understand their lifestyle, it was one I would never live. If Juice and I didn't work out I would not become a croweater.

"Did you bust up any slut face while we were gone?" Happy asked me with a sadistic smile on his face.

"No. I promised I wouldn't, well at least actually do anything to her. I have messed up her face a few times in my dreams and while punching the bag." _Stupid Bitch_, I thought to myself.

"Hey," Juice whispered into my ear. I turned to look at him.

"Hi. You ready to go?" I asked him.

"Yes, actually I am."

"Alright." I took a large drink out of my beer then handed it to him to finish. "Have a good night Happy." He winked at me as a crow eater walked up and took my place.

We went out to the parking lot and Juice started to hand me a helmet. "Oh I don't need that. I will drive home myself." He looked confused. "I forgot to tell you. I bought a car." I turned and pointed to my BMW.

"That's very nice baby but you didn't need to buy one." He looked at it.

"But I did. Juice I can't rely on you or the club to transport me forever. I needed something so I could be self-sufficient and that something was a car." Juice looked at me, smiled and then walked me over to my car.

"It is a really nice car." He opened the door for me, "I will meet you back your house."

I got to my house and figured Juice would be there soon after me but he wasn't. It was a good thirty minutes before he got there. I had put a load of laundry into the wash and cleaned my morning dishes. I had just settled down on the couch with a beer when he got there. He walked into the house with a bag from the local diner and flowers.

"I thought I would pick up dinner and these." He handed me the roses, they smelt lovely. I smiled at the kindness of his actions.

"What did you get for dinner?" I asked as I rose from the couch and followed him into the kitchen.

"For you, baked chicken and garlic mashed potatoes and for me fish and chips. For dessert chocolate cake." He pulled all the food out of the bag. The aromas of the food filled my kitchen. I was extremely hungry, I had skipped lunch because of my appointment with Tara. I grabbed the plates and poured Juice a beer.

"Thank you." I kissed him when I placed his plate and beer in front of him.

"You're welcome." He said as I started to stand up but he stopped me. He was looking at my cleavage. I smiled shyly at him, I wasn't sure why I all of a sudden felt so shy. Was it because I knew that we would actually be together, for the first time as a couple that night.

We ate our dinner and talked about the run. Juice talked about the beautiful scenery and what was going on up Tacoma. He was careful not to tell me too much. I knew very little about the on what was going with the club. I am sure that the other old ladies were privy but I am sure in my short time I had not proven myself. Which I was okay with. I felt like not knowing kept me out of trouble or the light of the police. After dinner was finished we cleaned up dinner together. Juice did the dishes while I dried them. I thought it would be funny to splash him with some water. He thought it would be amusing to spray me with the hose. By the end of our water fight we were both wet but laughing hard and my kitchen was water logged.

"I will go grab us a few towels," I turned to go down the hallway. Juice grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. I looked up at him through my eyelashes. I could feel my heart fluttering quickly, I was extremely nervous which I thought was strange because I had been with Juice before but I think last time I was grasping at something I didn't know if I could have or not. This time it was real, and he was all mine. I wondered if he was feeling the same way I was. I kissed his Adam's apple gently as he pulled me closer to him. I put my hands under the back of his shirt and could feel his muscles ripple in his back as I touched it. I looked up at him and his eyes burned with desire. He lifted me up and set me on the counter. I giggled. I was now tall enough to be face to face with him. He kissed me with passion and deep desire. I grasped at the bottom of his shirt as he kissed me moving my hands up the front of his chest…his muscular abs tightened as I ran my hands over them. I pulled his shirt off and smiled devilishly at him. I loved what I saw in front of me. I pushed him forward and hopped of the counter. I grabbed his and made him follow me to my bedroom. When we got in there he grabbed me and pretty much ripped off my shirt. He looked at me, I wasn't as self-conscious as the last time he had seen me topless. My bruises were pretty much gone only a few light ones remained where I was bruised so darkly it looked black. He looked as if he was going to ravage me. I couldn't wait. It was almost painful the amount of time he stood there and looked at me without touching me.

"Juice…" He looked up at my face. "Touch me." I pleaded with him. He flew into action. He was gentle and sweet. We took our time with getting each other undressed. I savored very moment of it. I didn't want to forget a detail of how he made me feel. We made love all night long and into the early morning. I didn't realize I had such stamina or that he did for that matter. I want to explore every part of him. I could have went for days straight in bed with Juice. He was amazing at what he did. I had never felt that way before. He made my world shatter into thousands of beautiful pieces and come back together again. The sun was starting to touch the horizon when we finally exhausted.

"I hope you aren't busy today." I looked at him sleepily. I knew I would sleep most of the day away after all that physical activity. I was exhausted.

"I only have plans with you," He kissed my forehead. I smiled, he was all mine. He looked at me for a while like he was contemplating something. "I love you, Kylee." He had not said that to me since the day I left Charming and he went off with Ima.

"I love you too, more than anyone else in this world." I purred. He smiled at me sleepily. I snuggled up to him and fell asleep. I was awoken by my phone ringing some time later. "Hello?" I answered.

"Are you still in bed?" It was Gemma.

"Yes we are. What time is it?" I was groggy and not with it.

"It's nearly 1 in the afternoon." She sounded so chipper. "I wanted to let you know we are going to have a dinner tonight and I want you and Juice to come over."

"Mmmhmm. We'll be there. What time? And what would you like me to bring?" I asked her.

"Dinner is at 6 and bring a couple of bottles of wine. So Juice spent the night?"

"Yes. But there is nothing new about that. We'll be at your house at 5. Now I am going to go back to bed." I yawned.

"Okay. I am sure you are going to go back to sleep. You were up all night fucking weren't you?"

I smiled remembering the feeling of Juice's lips on my skin. I started to tingle all over. "Weren't you?" I teased.

"Darling we are too old for that shit. I will let you get back to sleep so you will be fresh when you come over in a few hours."

"Alright, talk to you soon." I muttered as I hung up the phone. Juice rolled over to face me. "Gemma." I put my phone on the night stand.

"God, you're beautiful." He gazed at me. "I want to wake up like this every morning."

"It is nice isn't it?" I thought about how nice it would be to have Juice here all the time. I also thought about how exhausted I would be. "Last night and this morning were…" I tried to think of a word for how I felt about it.

"Flawless? Fabulous? Amazing?" Juice ran his hand over my bare chest.

"Mmm, yes all those." I rolled on my side and kissed him. "I am still so exhausted but I am sure I will not be able to get back to sleep. Care to shower with me?"

"That sounds like a plan to me."

After our shower, Juice and I lounged around the house. We were super lazy, and it was nice to just enjoy an afternoon in with each other. I didn't want our alone time to end but before I knew it was time to head over to Gemma and Clay's house. I was so madly in love with Juice it scared me how quickly we became so close. I didn't know a whole lot about him or his past other than he was raised in Brooklyn by a single mother. And he was the Son's "intelligence officer" which basically meant he hacked into things with his computer prowess. There was plenty he didn't know about me but I did feel like I shared more about myself than he had about himself. However, I hadn't told him how my father caught my mother cheating on him and killed her and then himself leaving Kip and me alone. How I found them laying in a pool of their own blood after school. I think that is why I would never be able to accept the 'what happens on a run stays on a run' rule that the club members had. Cheating was cheating. I would never be tolerant of it. I guess some scars run deeply even if we don't realize it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

We arrived at Gemma and Clay's for dinner and there were already bikes lining their driveway. Before we went inside Juice turned to me and kissed me. "I really do love you, you know that right?"

"I do know that. You must really love me if you turned down all that Tacoma snatch." I replied.

"Happy told you?"

I nodded, "He did. I didn't request it though." I didn't want him to think I was checking up on him. I didn't want him to think I was a needy girlfriend when really I wasn't.

"I figured he would. He likes you. Either way, I made a promise to you. Plus not one of those croweaters could compare to you." He took my hand and we walked into the house. Most of the Sons were there. Happy and Opie were talking out in the backyard with one of the croweaters. Donna and Tara were in the kitchen helping Gemma. Jax, Chibs, Tig, Bobby and Clay were at the dinner table talking about something that seemed to be heated. I also noticed that the new prospect from last night was here as well.

"I'm going to go help in the kitchen," I turned to Juice who was going to join Happy and Opie.

"Alright." He smiled at me.

I walked into the kitchen and Gemma kissed me on the cheek, "Welcome grab a knife and start cutting something." Took the bottles of wine from me.

Tara stared at me. "What?! Do I have something on my face?" I started wiping my face.

She laughed, "How was "boxing" last night?" I knew exactly what she was referring to.

"You have a lovely glow about you," Donna added.

I rolled my eyes at them as I chopped up a red pepper. "I ask you all to remember Gemma handed me the knife." I jested as we all laughed. "But to answer your question Tara, my boxing coach kept me going all night long." We were all laughing when Jax walked into the kitchen.

"You want to tell me what is so funny, ladies?"

"No they do not." I replied he certainly did not need to know about my sex life from me. Juice could share if he wanted to. I just shook my head.

"Jackson?" Gemma turned to him.

"Yeah Ma?"

"Get out of my kitchen unless you want to start helping us."

"I might just help it if that means I can continue to tease the piss out of this one." He poked me playfully. I turned and pointed at the knife that I had placed on the counter. He laughed as he walked out the kitchen and outside where most of the guys had migrated to.

Dinner was ready and I sat between Happy and Juice again. I thought back to the previous time I was sitting at this table. The situation was completely different, Juice didn't say one word to me and Happy dominated my attention. I was still trapped with Liam. I looked around the table at all of the people who had blessed my life. Their unquestionable acceptance made my heart feel like it was going to burst. There was lots of chatter and laughter to be had tonight at the table. I smiled taking it all in.

"You're quiet tonight." Happy observed.

"Just taking it all in and thinking about how different it was the last time I was sitting at this table." I smiled at him.

"You're extra cheerful." Then he studies my face a bit and whispered. "You finally got laid!"

"Seriously Happy." I looked away I could feel my face turned slightly red. It was like Kip asking me if I had sex. The first time he did that to me I just about died.

"I knew it. You two are both too happy today." He laughed slightly. As much as Happy laughs, "that's fine because I did too." I rolled my eyes as I felt Juice's hand move to my right thigh. I looked over at him. He was busy talking to Chibs who was sitting across from him.

Dinner finished up without any more talk of my sex life with Juice. I was clearing off the table and I heard the name Ima pop up in a conversation between Jax and Juice. I didn't want to seem like I was listening so I continued to clear and eavesdrop at the same time.

"We need to go and talk to her. I heard from Luann that Ima wants to press charges against her, because she hasn't been able to work."

"She deserved it we all saw it. Ima is the one who initiated it." Juice responded.

"Yes but she is also the one with the marks on her face. Luann said it was something about how she couldn't make any money. So she is either going to try to use blackmail or report her. I am also sure it's because she isn't getting her way with you." Jax said

I looked at them, "Let her." They both looked back at me, I am pretty sure they were so engulfed in their conversation they had no clue I had been standing there. "Let her go to the police. There are plenty of people who were there. I have an amazing lawyer friend who would turn the charges around to her. Plus I would never let her blackmail you guys or me for that matter. What should happen is she should know her place and be run out of town." I was getting angry. I could feel the fire burning inside of me. I picked up the dishes I was collecting and brought them into the kitchen. "I will be right back to help with those, I just need to make a phone call."

"Alright, sweetheart." Gemma smiled

I walked out to the front of the house where I knew I would have a little bit more privacy. I couldn't believe I still remembered his phone number. It has been at least five years since I had called him and even longer since I had seen him. It rang, and rang then finally his voice was on the other line.

"Hello?" His voice sounded the same as it did all those years ago.

"Hi Matty," I said quietly

"Ky?" I could hear confusion and surprise in his voice.

"Yeah it's me."

"You're calling from a California number, are you back?"

"I am, I have been for about a month. It's a long story which I am more than willing to tell you but I need your help."

"Of course you need something. Couldn't you just call to shoot the shit?" He asked

"Come on, cut me some slack when is the last time I asked you for help? And I am willing to pay you for your time." If things hadn't changed money always talked to Matt. That is why he became a lawyer, he loved money and power. I think he liked that he could be the person who either made or broke a person's fate.

"Ky…I don't know."

"Come on," I whined slightly knowing how it worked in the past with him.

"Fuck, am I going to regret this?" He asked like he's regretted helping me in the past. I guess I may have broken his sweet heart but I was 17 for God's sake. I suppose looking back at it all, I was probably not the most gentle with his feelings because I knew he would always be there. He was too good for me is what I always thought.

"No, I just need you to help me get out of some possible assault charges."

"WHAT?" his voice raised.

"It was actually more self-defense. I can't help that Kip trained me well and I can defend myself. I know how amazing of a lawyer you are so I thought I would see if you could help me."

"You know flattery gets you everywhere with me." He joked. "Have you been charged yet?"

"No, but she is threatening and sounds like blackmail might be involved as well."

"Alright. You are lucky you caught me on a week where I don't have a case. When do you need me out there…by the way where is there?"

I laughed, "I'm in Charming. It's about 50 miles for Oakland. Are you still in San Diego?"

"I am. I'll catch the next flight to Lodi." I could hear him typing on his computer.

"Will you let me pay for your flight?" I asked him.

"It's not that big of a deal. It will be nice to catch up with you and Kip." Shite I hadn't told him about Kip.

"About Kip…"I paused trying to think about how to tell him. "He was killed about 5 months ago. I only made back just in time for his funeral."

"Fuck Ky, I am sorry. I wish I would have known I would have been there."

"I know Matt. Let me know when you get a flight. I'll meet you at the airport."

"Alright, I will see you soon then. Bye Ky." I could hear his smile through the phone.

"Bye Matt." I hung up my phone and turned around to go back inside. Juice was lounging in the door way. I smiled at him. "My lawyer will be here this week."

"Should I be jealous of your lawyer?" He asked me jokingly. Truth was he probably would be. Matt had been my first, he was one of Kips closest friends growing up. I thought he was attractive and had a huge crush on him when I was younger. When I turned from awkward kid to attractive perky breast teenager he started to pay attention to me. Kip was not happy but we happened and that was about it. Our "relationship" if that is what you wanted to call lasted about 5 months before Kip lost his shit on Matt. We saw each other a few times after that, he was really just too sweet and wonderful for me at that point in my life. I wanted to travel and explore the world and he was going to law school. We just grew apart, Matt and Kip never spoke again.

"You would have if I didn't love you. But I only have eyes for you." I said sappily. Juice was much more my type. Acted all hard ass around his friends but was really a marshmallow. He made me feel loved and protected.

"Good I wouldn't want to end up in jail for killing someone. However I would look forward to the conjugal visits." He winked at me as he pulled me back into the house.

I helped Gemma and Tara with what was left of the dishes. I told them about Ima's bitch move that she is making and Matt coming to town to help out. Gemma insisted I used her lawyer but I was sure I wanted Matt to take care of everything. I trusted him but of course I didn't tell Gemma I didn't trust her lawyer. I just told her I wanted Matt to take care of it. The rest of the evening went well and it was quite uneventful. Juice and I ended up leaving a few hours after dinner. I was getting tired, the lack of sleep caught up to me.

I loved riding with Juice on his bike. Nothing gave me as much pleasure, well other then maybe being in bed with him. I thought about the first time I rode behind him, it seemed like a life time ago. When we got to my house I was sad I had to get off of the bike. I was relaxed and ready to go longer.

"Let's go for a ride tomorrow." I suggested.

"I think we can do that." He turned taking off his helmet and putting it on the bike. "So there is something else I want to talk to you about." He looked serious.

"Sure, let's go in first?"

We got inside and I was feeling slightly nervous. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if I was expecting the floor to fall out from under me because everything had been going so well. I just expected badness to happen because it felt like nothing in my life went this well for long. We sat down in the living room. Juice looked at me and took a deep breath.

"I wanted to know what you thought about moving in together."

I let out a laugh, "Oh my god, Juice." Relief rushed over me, "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

He looked confused, I don't think he knew how nervous I was about everything. "Yes."

"Oh shite I thought you were…going to drop so bombshell on me." I was still laughing it was almost uncontrollable.

"Is your laughing meaning you think it's a horrible idea and you don't want to move in together?" He didn't know how to take my reaction.

"No, my laughing is because I am relieved. And you are here all the time anyway, you should move in. I love being with you." I smiled and kissed his hand that was in mine.

"Shit, I thought you were going to say no."

"Now why would I have said no?" I smiled at him, "How could I resist having you in my bed and at my beacon call, whenever I want you." At that he just about jumped over the table to get at me. We christened my couch right then and there. If he lived her there was not going to be one piece of furnisher that would have seen some action at once point or another.

As I was getting redressed I grabbed my cell phone out of my pants pocket and noticed I had a missed call, from Matt. I listened to the voicemail,

_Hey Ky, I have a flight into Lodi tomorrow night around 6:30pm. I am looking forward to seeing you. I wanted to tell you on the phone earlier that I missed you and I was glad you called but I think I was too shocked that you were calling after all this time. It will be nice to see your beautiful face. Alright I better go before I stick my foot in my mouth. See you tomorrow night. Oh and my flight number is 502 from San Diego. _

I was looking forward to seeing Matt. I didn't know how he would fit into my new life. "Hey Juice?" I called to him, he was in the kitchen getting something to drink.

"Yeah?"

"Matt will be here tomorrow night." I relayed

"Cool, I'll go with you to get him. You can show me how nicely your car runs." He smiled.

I smiled at the fact that Juice wanted to go with me. It would be interesting when they met for the first time. I decided that Juice didn't need to know that Matt had seen me naked at any point in time. "Since there are not any places to stay, I am letting him stay here." Juice stared at me. "What? He is doing me a huge favor by coming out here and straightening things out with the Ima thing." Which was pretty much his fault anyway so he should not have cared.

"Alright. I know I am the one who shares your bed…our bed." He smiled at me.

The next day I woke up and rolled over and Juice wasn't it bed with me. I got out of bed and went to the living room where I thought he might be, nope. Then the kitchen, nope.

"Juice?" I called out. Then I noticed a letter on the counter.

_ You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake you up. I got a call from Clay we have a run. I don't know if I will be home or not before you go to pick up Matt. I am sorry that we are going to miss out on our ride today. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with you today. If I am not going to be home; I will call and I want you to take Phil with you to Lodi if I don't make it back. Love you, J._

That sucked. I was looking forward to going on a long motorcycle ride. Maybe finding some secluded place to spend the day alone. I sighed and wondered if life would be like this for us, Clay says jump for the club and Juice would say how high. I guess they were family before I came into his life. We both had a lot of adjusting to do, the club was all he had before I came along. My day was filled with cleaning and prepping for Matt's visit. I had to go grocery shopping; we had food but very little of it. I also started cleaning out some of my dresser drawers for Juice. I was elated at the Juice would be moving in. There wasn't a night when he was in town that he did not spend the night with me. We were just meant to be. The afternoon went by quickly and before I knew it, it was just about time to go to the airport. I decided to call Juice, the phone rang twice before he picked up.

"Hello Beautiful." I could hear talking in the background.

"Hi, are you going to be home to come with me?" I asked knowing what the answer would be no.

"I'm sorry, we are still on the run and I have already called Phil to come over to go with you. Please be safe."

"I can't say that I am not disappointed. But I get it…" I would have loved for him to scoop me in his arms at that moment and say everything would be okay and that I should come before the club.

"We should be home tonight but if not I will call."

"Alright."

"Kylee?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, be safe Juice." I say as I hang up.

As soon as I hung up I heard a motorcycle pull into the driveway. I knew it was Phil, turned off the lights in the house and went out to meet him in the driveway. He was standing next his bike when I got out there.

"Juice called and told me to go with you to Lodi." He looked nervous.

"Oh I know, I talked to him. You have awesome timing because if I sat around anymore I would have gotten pissed at him. Let's go. I want to get there early." We got into my car which Phil filled up with his girth. It took us about an hour to get to Lodi's airport, it was a lovely and peaceful drive. Phil talked a bit but for the most part he was quiet which I liked. He didn't feel the need to fill the silence with awkward conversation. I began to like him more. He was a nice guy, he reminded me of a squishy teddy bear. I parked the car and we went into the terminal to the baggage collection area. There were families meeting each other. Lots of people hugging and kissing. I wished I could have shared this time with Juice but whatever, it was what it was. I was grateful that the terminal had a pub in it, I bought Phil a drink for his troubles.

"You aren't trouble at all." He smiled at me accepting the beer.

"Yeah right, you probably had better things to do tonight. Like flirt with a croweater or such." I smirked at him.

"They don't look at me like the other guys," He confessed to me. "Probably my weight and the fact I am still a prospect. I am actually glad I got put on old lady duty; it's better than cleaning the toilets and club house after a party."

"Phil, the croweaters don't know what they are missing with you." I smiled at him as I took a drink of my beer. It was so refreshing and very much needed. "It sucks that you have to do the grunt work right now. At least one day you'll be able to reap the benefits of the club. My brother never got to." I thought about Kip and how I would give pretty much anything to be able to tell him I loved him and appreciated everything he did for me while we were growing up. I looked at my cell phone and I had a missed call from Juice. He left a voicemail:

_Hi love. I wanted to let you know that we will be home tonight but it will be pretty late. Will you leave the door unlocked for me? I hope Filthy Phil is behaving himself with you. Thanks for being so understanding, you're amazing. I love you. Drive home safe._

I smiled at Juice's message. I couldn't understand why he was worried about my driving. I had been driving since I was 15…granted some of that driving was on the opposite side of the road it was now. My car handled marvelously and I wasn't too worried about it. I looked at my cell phone and saw the time….

"Fuck. Finish your beer, Matt's flight should be in." I downed what was left of my beer and jumped up. Phil finished his and followed me out of the pub to the baggage claim for Matt's flight. Just as the bags started to come down the caver belt I saw him. Matt looked exactly the same as I remembered maybe just a bit older. He still had his beard stubble that was darkening with age, his blonde hair was more of a golden brown now. I could tell when he spotted me standing there staring at him. I ran to him… "Matty!" I jumped into his arms he stood a least 6 feet. He swung me around in a circle.

"Oh Ky, you are a sight for sore eyes. You are more beautiful than I remember." He smiled at me as he sat me down on the ground again.

"Thanks. You don't look bad yourself." I smiled back as we turned to get his bags.

"What do your bags look like?" Phil asked Matt.

"Um…" he looked at me, I shook my head.

"Phil, its fine Matt can get his own bags." I wanted to pat him on the head like I would a kid. Then waved him off for a second.

I walked up to the belt where Matt was waiting for his bags to come back around. "So is that guy your boyfriend?" Matt asked completely serious.

I had to laugh, "Really? Are you serious? I thought you knew me better Matt. He is not my boyfriend; that is Phil he is a prospect of the motorcycle club, Juice is a member of. Wanted to make sure I made it here and home okay."

"Ah a babysitter. And what sort of name is Juice?"

"A nickname fool!" I bit back at him, no need in making fun of my boyfriend already. "Ass." I pushed him. It was like we hadn't ever parted ways, he was the same. "Have you not matured at all?"

"Oh you know me…I save up all my immaturity for those who I love the best." He joked with me as he grabbed his bag off of the conveyer belt.

We caught up some on the ride home. Matt was working for a firm in San Diego mostly defending people who were in accidents of some way or another. Some of the people he defended sounded like shysters. I told him all about what happened with Northern Ireland, Juice and Kip. He wanted to go pay his respects at Kip's grave. Which we would to the next day. We got back to my house around 8 pm, Juice was still not home. I released Phil from his "old lady" duty. He was a nice guy. I thought to myself.

"Are you hungry," I asked Matt after I showed him to the room he would be staying in.

"Nah, I ate before my flight but I will take a beer if you have one."

"Who do you think you're talking to?" I asked him. "Of course I have beer"

We talked into the night, we just fell back into the way things were prior to going our separate ways. Matt was still single, he said he was holding out for the right girl to come along or the girl to realize that he was the right guy for her. I knew he was talking about me.

"Well I think we should call it a night." I stood up and collected our beer bottles as I heard Juice's Harley pull into the driveway. I smiled happily. "Juice is home."

"Don't think I can get past his name." Matt smiled at me.

Juice walked into the house just as I dumped all the bottles into the recycling. He smiled widely at me and pulled me into his arms.

"Hello." He kissed me passionately. "How was the drive to Lodi?"

"It was good, Matt's in the living room if you want meet him." I took his hand and pulled him into the living room where Matt was lounging on the couch. He looked up at us then stood up quickly.

"Hey man, it's nice to meet you, I'm Matt." He offered his hand to Juice to shake. Juice in turn took and shake Matt's hand.

"Nice to meet you too. I really appreciate you coming out to help out with Ima."

"Slut" I coughed. The both looked at me. "What?!"

"Did you just slut cough?" Matt asked me.

"What I would never do such a thing." I smirked.

"You know you never told me the whole story about why she is trying to get you arrested," Matt questioned. I could tell that Juice was uncomfortable by the shift of his weight next me.

"Not tonight Matt." I was not in the mood to tell the Ima story when all I really wanted to do was curl up in bed with Juice. "I am going to go to bed, are you going to join me?" I asked Juice.

"Yeah, I'll be in, in a minute." He walked towards the kitchen, most likely to put his cut out there.

"Not really your normal type." Matt whispered to me as we walked towards the bedrooms.

"And what type is that?" I asked him as he stood in the door way of the guest room. He just smiled at me and shut the door. I knew he meant himself. If you asked me him and Liam somewhat resembled each other. Tall, green eyes, golden brown hair, and lanky bodies. Juice was nothing like them in looks. I walked into my room and closed the door so I could put on my pajamas. Juice walked in as I was top less.

"Now that is good timing." He smirked as he closed the door behind him and quickly took the few steps to me. He stared at me with longing in his eyes. "I missed you today." He said as he ran his hand down my arm which gave me chills. He then kissed my collar bone.

"I missed you, nothing better than waking up and realizing your wonderful day was not going to be filled with cleaning and boredom." I pouted.

"Oh I can make up for that." He led me towards the bed.

"Juice, we can't." I felt shy with Matt in the house. I didn't want him to know about my sex life too. It was enough that all of the Samcro knew about it.

"Why not?" He questioned.

"We have a house guest and we are not quiet." He looked at me with defeat.

"Alright but when he is out of the house, I am going to ravage you." He pulled me close to him.

"Is that a promise?" I nipped at his collar bone. He moaned.

"It's a promise."

The next morning I woke up to a loud knock at the door. I turned over and Juice was awoken by it too. He grabbed his gun from the night stand. I shook my head at him, as I crawled out of bed. I figured it was one of the club members. I opened the door and saw the Sheriff Hale standing there. I had met him a few times in passing, mostly out in about in the city with Gemma or Tara. As soon as I saw him I knew why he was there. Ima made her decision. Fucking BITCH, I thought. Juice walked out up to the door.

"To what do we owe the honor?" Juice looked at Hale suspiciously.

"I am sorry to wake you guys but I have a warrant for Kylee's arrest for assult."

"You have to be fucking kidding me." Juice spit.

"Stop Juice. We knew this was going to happen. Go wake up Matt and meet us down at the station." I looked at Sheriff Hale, "Do you need to cuff me?"

"Not if you promise to behave."

"Can I please change my clothes?" I looked down at my short shorts, and tank top.

"Go ahead." It was quite nice of him to allow me to do that. I quickly changed and walked back out to the living room where Juice was trying to convince Hale not to take me to jail. He was pretty much telling him what happened. "I have to follow protocol. Sorry Juice."

I got a little teary eye when I thought about having a mug shot. I had never been in trouble with the law, even if my significant others had been. I always kept clear until now.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Thank you guys for being so patient, I was on vacation and didn't have a chance to write but believe me I wanted to especially when I saw and heard the Harleys drive down the road near our hotel. Enjoy Chapter 12_

Ch 12

I sat in the jail cell contemplating why I was put there in the first place. I should have just walked away from Ima instead of punching her skank ass in the face. But it felt so good to put her in her place and watch the blood trickle from her nose. I knew that Matt would get everything taken care but it was a waiting game for him to get there with Juice. Sheriff Hale told me that he wouldn't take a mug shot of me until he heard my side of the story. I must have startled him when my calmness broke in the car and I started sobbing. I told him that even the thick candy shell melts eventually. He laughed at me. I was embarrassed and fucking pissed off that I had to be escorted to the police station in a cop car.

"Hey Jail Bird, you lawyer is here." I looked up and Hale was standing in front of my tiny cell. It was hardly big enough for me alone.

"Are you trying to make me feel better by calling me that?" I asked him.

"I don't think you should be here but the law is the law so …I'm sorry." We walked up to the front of the station where the offices and interrogating rooms were. As we were walking I saw Ima, I wanted to jump the fucking whore right then and there, I was already in jail what would it hurt right. Instead I just gave her a fuck you smile and walked into the room, where Matt was already waiting.

"You okay?" He inquired. "They treating you well?"

"Oh! I got a four course meal and a cushy bed, I am never leaving this place." I winked at him, "and yes I am fine."

"Now that your lawyer is here I would like to ask you some questions." Hale sat on the opposite side of the table as us. I looked at Matt and shrugged. "Did you assault Ima?"

"Since when is self-defense or the need to feel like you are defending yourself assault?" I replied, looking Hale directly in the eyes.

"So tell your side of the story," He offered

I went into what happened at the club that day, how Ima came out screeching about how Juice was her man. Which whatever, we all knew the truth. Then when I tried to walk away and just get out of there she grabbed me so I punched her.

"You can obviously see that my client, felt threated by other woman's actions. There were plenty of witnesses to this altercation too. If you would like to question them." Matt pushed.

"We have questioned several of the members already, but Ima is saying that Kylee just walked up to her out of nowhere and punched her…then told her to have fun trying to suck cock with a broken nose."

I snorted and they both looked at me, "The only part of that, that is true is what I told her. I wouldn't just go up to someone and punch them unless we were sparing in the boxing ring and most of the time I wait for them to make the first move."

"With my client's witnesses and testimony it is clear that she is innocent, unless self-defense is a charge in this town then this would be a shit town to live in." Matt said.

Hale looked over at me and smiled, "Your story matches the stories I was getting from the SAMCRO members as well as Tara and Gemma. So you are free to go." He stood up to go out the door and I called for him.

"Sheriff Hale?" He turned and looked back at me. "Can you lock her up for a while for wasting police time or lying under oath?"

He smiled at me, "I'll keep her here for some reason," he walked out where Ima was sitting and looked down at her, she tried to give him an innocent look, and a look of poutiness which made her look more like the porn star she was. "Ima you're under arrest for providing the police with false information." Hale turned and winked at me. Ima just looked surprised and then she gave me a dirty look. I blew her a kiss and waved good bye. Just as we were waiting for my items when Juice walked into the station. I got to watch Ima being taken to the back while throwing a fit. It made my heart a bit happier. Juice watched as he walked up to me and took my face into his large hands.

"Are you okay?" I looked directly into my eyes.

I smiled at him, "I'm fine, better now that I got to watch Ima get arrested."

He pulled me into his chest and held me tight to him. "I don't know what I would have done if you would have been arrested for a while."

"You're squishing me." I said into his chest I could barely breathe. He finally let go of me and then kissed my head. He turned towards Matt who was standing nearby us, "Thank you so much for taking care of my girl." He shook his hand.

"You're welcome, it really isn't that hard to help her." Matt smiled at me as one of the female officers handed me a bag of my stuff which was really just had my jewelry in it. We all walked out of the station together. I was surprised by the sight that was waiting for me. Chibs, Happy, Jax, Tara, Clay, Gemma, Bobby, Opie and Tig were all sitting outside of the police station. I got a round of applause when I walked out from some of the members.

"Um…" I looked at them all, "Thanks?!"

We walked down the stairs and Chibs grabbed me. "They treat you well sweetheart?"

"They did. I hope they do not share that kindness with Ima." I replied to him. I hoped they took her mug shot and locked her away forever.

"Aye? Did they lock up the skag? It's about time someone did something about her." I could tell he was fired up because his accent was thicker than normal. "Glad it was you, love." He patted me on the head. I really appreciated how they all showed up.

"I think we should have a party tonight in honor of Kylee's arrest and release." Clay smiled at me.

"Any reason to have a party." I smiled back at him, Juice had his hand on the small of my back and was walking me towards his bike. "Wait, what about Matt?" I looked towards him, he was talking with Gemma and Tara.

"It's fine. I am going to go with Gemma and Tara. I will meet you at the party." Matt said to me.

"Are you sure?" I asked I wanted to be sure I wasn't being a bad hostess. I didn't want him to think that I used his services and then I was done with him.

"I'm sure." His smile reassured me.

"Okay. I will see you at the party then." I smiled back and then followed Juice to his bike. "Where do you think you are taking me?" I asked him.

"It's a surprise. So you will have to wait and see." He put on his helmet and handed me mine. I dutifully strapped mine on and got onto the back of his bike. He started it and it purred loudly. I put my arms around him and felt at easy once again. He had such an amazing calming effect over me. I loved that about him. I didn't feel like I needed to walk on egg shells with him, I could just be. Which I needed more than anything else. We took off and drove out of town. We had an exhilarating drive through the countryside. We drove to a lovely area overlooking the cities below. Juice pulled off to the side of the road. There was a trail that lead up to the overlook. We walked hand and hand up the path. Juice hand brought a blanket and a bag. When we reached the top of the hill he stopped and put down the blanket under one of the trees that were scattered along the overlook.

"This is a lovely surprise. A day alone with you, a secluded day alone with you." I smiled seductively at Juice. He sat down on the blanket and patted the ground next to him. I sat down next to him and kissed him gently. "I love you."

He smiled gently at me. "I know, and I love you. I could never get enough of you or this." He kissed my neck. I moaned quietly. "I'm sorry for everything that you have went through today."

I turned and looked at him, "Really? It was all worth it, because I got to see the look on Ima's face when she was arrested for falsifying information." I smiled gleefully.

"Well you at least deserve that." Juice kissed my hand. "I thought we would spend the day here and have a picnic. " He pulled our lunch out his bag. He laid out: sandwiches, strawberries and grapes, tortilla chips and a bottle of my favorite wine. I looked at him and grinned at this thoughtful measure.

"This is so thoughtful and wonderful." I hugged him.

"You're worth it." He kissed me.

Our afternoon went by quickly, we ate every bite of food. The sandwiches were so very delicious, Juice said he couldn't take credit for them that Gemma had made them for him. I laughed at his honesty. We lounged about while feeding each other fruit. We were just about finishing up when Juice poured us one more glass of wine. I must not have been paying attention to my glass of wine because when I was about to drink the last sip something hit me in the lip. I looked into my glass and saw a ring. I glanced up at Juice who was looking at me intensely. I pulled the ring out of the bottom of my glass and looked at it. It was a beautiful cushion cut diamond surrounded by diamonds and diamonds surrounded the bands. I looked at Juice who was smiling at me.

"What is this?" I asked him, I was confused.

"I know it seems so soon and very quick but I have never been so sure of anything in my life, Kylee Rose will you marry me?" He said quietly and nervously. He was right it was quick, what we barely knew each other. But he made me feel right, I have never felt right before. I knew I was at home when I was with him. It had been that way since I first met him. It was like my body knew something my brain didn't know. I looked at the ring and then back at him a few times. Thinking about my answer. I knew in my heart what I wanted to say but of course my stupid brain had to chime in a few times. I must have been taking too long to answer because Juice said, "You know this doesn't mean that we will be married immediately." He was hopeful.

I handed Juice the ring, he looked disappointedly at me. I took a deep breath my decision had been made, "Juan Carlos, nothing would make me happier than becoming your wife but the only way I am going to accept is if you put that damn ring on my finger yourself." He pretty much jumped around the blanket and yanked my hand out of its socket. "Gentle baby, I am not going to change my mind." He relaxed and took the ring and placed it on my left ring finger. It fit perfect. He then kissed me avidly. Which lead to passionate sex under the tree. I was okay with it surprisingly I must have been caught up in the moment because I was not one for exhibitionism. Juice's phone rang just as we started getting redressed.

He was in the middle of putting on his pants and said to me, "Will you answer that?"

I picked up his phone and answered, "Hello?"

"Well you certainly are not just Juice." It was Jax on the other line.

"I am not, he is currently…"I tried to think of a good lie but couldn't, "putting on his clothes."

"So your ride was a good one then?" Jax laughed.

"Yes. Very. Do you want to talk to Juice or can I relay something to him?" I asked as I watched Juice button his pants and pull his shirt over his marvelously chiseled chest.

"No, I don't need to talk to him, we were just wondering when you guys would be here." I looked at the phone it was already 5 o'clock. "This party is supposed to be for you, you know."

"When was the last time you guys actually started a party on time and really do you need me there to start? Or is it you guys are getting sick of babysitting Matt?" I questioned.

Juice watched me as I talked with Jax. "No we are not getting sick of babysitting, he is a cool guy. He's hitting it off with one of the croweaters. And well we have already started the party."

"A croweater?! Put a stop to that immediately, we all know where her snatch has been!" I pretty much yelled into the phone.

Jax laughed at me. "I'll be sure to let him know you think that but by the looks of it he is not going to be listening." I rolled my eyes….MEN!

"We'll be there in a little bit." I said matter of factly as I closed the phone. I shook my head as I stood up. I supposed he needed to blow off some steam since he was doing me a major favor by being here and dealing with my shite.

"Whats up?" Juice asked me as he helped me up from the ground. I handed him his phone and slipped on my shoes.

"It was Jax, he wanted to know when we would be the clubhouse. He also told me Matt was getting along well with a croweater. Hopefully it is one of the ones that I actually like and I don't have any issues with." I knew there were some really nice ones that would make a good old lady but there were others who were not worth the air they breathed. Ima was one of them.

We gathered everything up and drove the half hour back to Charming. It was a nice ride back, it took my mind off of everything that had happened well except for my engagement. I smiled happily and tightened my grip on Juice. He took one of his hands off of the handle bar of his bike and put it on mine. We arrived at the clubhouse which was already full of people. I got off the bike and waited for Juice to dismount and join me. I saw Tara coming towards us.

"Hey. It's about time you got here but I don't blame you guys for needing time alone." She smiled at me. I held up my left hand and wiggled my fingers at her. It took her a second and then she yelled. "Holy shit! You guys got engaged?!" She pulled my hand towards her and looked at my ring. "Juice you did a nice job picking out this ring."

"Thanks. She is worth every dime I spend on it." He smiled as he kissed my other hand and let go to walk into the club house. Tara and I followed him in arm in arm. We talked about how he asked me and whether it was too soon or not. We came to the conclusion that you knew when it was right and time didn't matter. I hadn't asked her yet but I wanted Tara to be one of my bridesmaids and maid of honor if Trinity couldn't make it from Belfast.

We walked into the clubhouse and of course we were bombarded by the sound of loud voices and music. There was laughter and happiness all around us. I spotted Matt on one of the couches in the corner with a blonde croweater. He looked at me when we walked passed; smiled at me then went back to the blonde. I recognized her but didn't know her name, she was one that didn't bother me so I was okay with it. Whatever made him happy? Tara and I sat down at a table with Gemma, Donna and Chibs.

"It's about time you got here." Chibs pushed a Jameson my way. I reached across the table with my left hand to grab it because it was the closest hand and he grabbed it. "What the fuck is that? It's bleeding huge." He barked at me.

"What does it look like Chibs?" I chirped back like it was nothing.

"It looks like you have a giant rock on your finger." He looked at me before releasing my hand. "One that looks like it weighs a lot. On a finger that means quite a bit."

I smiled at him. "I am sure Juice has already told you all that he was going to ask me…and I know Gemma knew because he was with her earlier." She smiled at me.

"I knew sweetheart and I couldn't be happier. Your ring is beautiful."

"Thank you."

"He did nay ask for my permission." Chibs announced. I thought it was sweet he had taken on my father figure role. I noticed it more and more. He got up and stocked over to Juice.

"So is this why you guys took Matt?" I asked Gemma.

She smiled, "Of course. Juice talked to me about a week ago and asked if I thought it was too early. I told him the heart wants what it wants so why deny it. Plus you guys were meant for each other."

Donna held out her hand so she could see my engagement ring just as Happy walked over.

"So I heard you and Juice are planning on getting married." I nodded then stood up and he hugged me. "Congratulations sweetheart." Then he whispered in my ear, "If he ever treats you poorly I will kill him." I smacked him in the chest.

"Thanks Hap, I will keep that in mind." I grabbed my drink off the table and talked with Happy a while. Then I decided I should tell Matt about the engagement so I walked over to where Matt and the croweater were making out. Lucky me I got to break that up. I gagged thinking about where her tongue had been.

"Hey Matty?" I touched his shoulder lightly.

"Seriously Ky? Why are you cock-blocking me?" They both looked at me.

"Oh no that's okay." The croweater piped in. That is when I realized how much they respected the "old ladies" of the club members. "If she needs to talk to you" she started to get up.

"No it isn't, Shayla." He shot back and stopped her from getting up any further.

"I was only going to tell you that Juice and I are engaged and the let you get back to Shayla." I said smartly. He was pissing me off and I just needed to walk away because he did me a huge favor. I just didn't want him to hear from anyone else that I was engaged. Ugh I now remember another reason we didn't work out. He was an asshole when he had been drinking hard liquor. I walked outside to get some air. I polished off my second whiskey and sat on the picnic table. So much had happened in the last few months. I was so grateful that everything we going so well finally. Things could have turned out so poorly today if Matt hadn't been there. I smiled at the thought of Ima sitting in a jail cell. I really wanted to call Trinity but I knew it would be super early so I would call her when I woke up in the morning.

"Hey." I turned and looked at the voice. It was Jax he was lighting a cigarette and sat next to me on the picnic table. "Why are you out here by yourself?"

"I'm not alone anymore." I smirked at him. "I just need some air. Today has been overwhelming, just a lot to take in." I shook my head, I just wanted to relax in the bath tub with Juice and a pint of beer.

"It has been a long day for you hasn't it. Should have thought about that before we decided to throw a party." He took a long drag on his cigarette.

"It's okay. I mean at least Matt seems to be having a good time with one of the croweaters." I snorted. "At least she's one that I can stand." Jax laughed.

"There you are." I heard Juice call out and walk towards us. He kissed my cheek.

"Just needed some fresh air. Jax has been keeping me company." I yawned. I was getting tired and it was only 8 at night.

"Do you want to head home?" Juice caught my yawn.

"I think so. What about Matt?" I asked.

"Well take care of him." Jax piped in. "Or at least the croweaters will." He winked.

I rolled my eyes and followed Juice to his bike. I smiled with delight thinking that I was now his fiancée. How quickly my life had changed from loneliness and isolation to feeling more loved and more a part of a family then I had ever in my life.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_I'm too hot_. I thought as I woke up, I tried to kick the blankets off of me but I couldn't move. Juice had intertwined his body with mine. I was dying. I pushed him and he mumbled incoherently. I shoved again, "Juice move." He finally turned over to his side of the bed. I got out of bed and went to take a shower. Not even two minutes later Juice climbed into the shower behind me.

"Good morning." He rubbed his hands all over my soapy body. "How is my beautiful fiancée?"

"I am better now that I am not being smothered in my sleep." I smirked at him. "Looks like you're feeling pretty good as well." I looked down at his boner and back up at him and I bite my lip.

"God you drive me crazy." He lifted me up right there and had his way with me. This man was insatiable and I loved it. I laughed as he sat me back down in the tub. "I love you."

"I love you too Juice." I lathered my body with soap while he watched. "You should either clean up too or leave because at this rate I will never get showered."

He grinned and touched my remaining light bruise, "Soon you'll be flawless again."

I laughed, "Yeah right, flawless. I have my flaws, like being easily distracted by tall sexy Puerto Rican men with tattoos." I rinsed the soap off my body and washed my hair. Juice washed up as well, he quickly shampooed his hair which there was very little of and hopped out of the shower. I finished rinsing out my hair and washing my face. "Will you please hand me my towel." I called out to Juice as I turned off the shower and started to pull back the curtain.

"Sure." It wasn't Juice's voice it was Matt's.

"Fuck!" I pulled the shower curtain around me. "What the hell do you think you are doing Matt? Get out!" I yelled.

"Oh come on Kylee. You know I've seen you naked before. Your tight little body." He murmured as he tried to pull the curtain away.

"GET OUT!" I screeched, Juice came running in half dressed. He must have walked out into our room just as Matt came into the bathroom.

"What the hell man?" Juice threw him into the hallway and closed the door leaving me shivering in the shower. I grabbed the towel that was sitting on the hook behind the bathroom door and wrapped it around me. I heard the murmur of them in the other room. I opened the door and ran across the hall. I got dressed quickly and walked out into the living room where I encountered an angry Matt and an every angrier Juice.

"It's not like I haven't seen her naked before man. Seriously." He was trying to reason with Juice with that?

"I don't care if you have seen her naked before, you will not be seeing her naked again. She is my old lady and I am the only one who gets to see her that way!" Juice pretty much growled at him. There was far too much testosterone in my house.

"You…"I pointed at Juice, "go cool down, my house is newly decorated and I do not want to lose any of my new stuff because you want to settle this with muscle." He looked at me with such anger I wanted to flinch, he must have noticed my change in stature because he turned and went into the kitchen. Matt started to laugh. "You!" I turned to him. "Shut the fuck up! You had no right to come into my house and try to demand a free show from me. Do you think that is what I meant by I would pay you?" I pushed him in the chest. "What do you think of me, Matt? Do you think I am a whore?" I barked at him. He lazily shrugged as he sat down on the couch nonchalantly. "Do you want to know how much of a whore I am Matt?" He lifted his eyebrow, ugh he made me so angry I wanted to punch him in the face. "I am so much of a whore that I have only been with three guys in my life, one took my virginity, one took my baby and the other one has given me my freedom. But let's go ahead, why not just let me pay you so I can lose the one person in this whole world that I care about more than my own life." I started to unbutton my shirt, "Is this what you want from me? Come on, big boy let's see if you can get it up for Kylee. Come on!" I yelled at him as I straddled him and tried to unbutton his pants

"Get off me, Kylee." Matt pushed me. I could smell the booze on his breath, I could tell by his glazed over look that he was still drunk.

"No, Matt this is what you want isn't it? I mean you walked into my bathroom while I was in the shower like I would give it up to you while my fiancé…my FIANCE was in the other room. Well let's go."

"No! Fuck!" I got off of him and button up the few buttons I had unbuttoned.

"Go clean yourself up and go to bed. Maybe you can apologize to Juice later, I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't forgive you. I will have cash for you by the time you get up and I would appreciate it if you would be gone by this evening." I started to walk into the kitchen when he called after me.

"Kylee, I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apology." I barked back at him as I left the room. Is this the same thing that happened between him and Kip all those years ago? Did Kip push him away like I was doing? Was I a horrible person for doing it? I saw Juice when I got into the kitchen, he pulled me into his arms. I felt so safe there. "I'm sorry about that baby." I looked up at him.

"I'm going to go for a ride to clear my mind." Juice said quietly and kissed me. "Please don't stay in this house with him."

"I won't. I told Donna I would meet up for coffee with her. I am sure she wants all the _juicy _details about our engagement. Plus I want to give Trin a call and see if she would be my maid of honor." I grabbed my bag and followed him out of the house. I called Donna and asked her if she would meet me in downtown for coffee at the café. She was cool with that but she had to get the kids off to school. I decided that I would run to the bank and take out a decent sum for Matt. It was really all I could do for him. I took out what I thought would be a nice sum of $3,000 for travel expenses and his time. I drove back home and walked into the house and left an envelope under the spare room door and left again. I could tell he was still there because I could hear him snoring. I got out to the car and called Trinity.

"Hello?" Trinity answered.

"Hey Trin." I replied

"Oh my god Kylee! How are you? How is Charming?"

"I've missed you Trin. Things are going well. Charming is warm and sunny. I am not calling to discuss the weather with you though."

"I didn't think you were. I have missed you too. I heard Seamus left you a good sum of money after Liam's unfortunate accident."

"Oh is that what they are calling it these days?" I laughed lightly

"That is what police have ruled it. Well at least according to McFee." She responded.

"So the whole reason I called was to see if you would be willing to come to Charming in the future."

"I already told you I would."

"Well you didn't tell me whether you would be my maid of honor or not." I replied casually.

"Your what?" She paused. I could feel her shock though the phone.

"My maid of honor. Juice asked me to marry him."

"Holy Shite! I would love to! When are you getting married?"

"We haven't discussed that, things have been a little crazy around here lately. Once they slow down, I will let you know. Can you have Kerrianne call me when you see or talk to her. I lost her phone number when I left my phone in Ireland."

"I can do that. Oh my god, you're getting married. I always thought it would be to Liam even though everyone would have been against it. "

"Let's not bring him up again. He was in my past and I am looking forward to my future with Juice. I need to leave that in the North, Trin. You know how I am about dwelling."

"I know. Shite I have to go someone just walked into the store. Cheers."

"Cheers." I hung up the phone just as I pulled up to the café. Donna and I had coffee and talked about all the excitement going on in our lives. Well more like we talked about what was going on in my life. Her life had finally calmed down whereas mine was a never ending merry-go-round. I yearned for that amount of calmness. I told her about what happened that morning with Matt. She reassured me that I took the proper steps in getting him out of my house and life because I didn't need that in my life. I was happy she felt the same way about things as I did. Donna was super excited that Juice and I were getting married. She brought everything back to that just before we parted ways. We talked about taking a girls trip to look for dresses in Stockton. I was actually looking forward to that. We parted ways just before lunch. I decided the best thing for me to do was to go to the club house. I didn't want to risk running into Matt again. I pulled into the parking lot of Teller-Marrow and noticed Juice's bike wasn't there. He wasn't kidding when he said he was going on a ride to clear his mind. I got out of my car and walked into the club house.

"Hey Phil." I smiled at the prospect.

"Hi Kylee, Juice isn't here." He informed me.

"I know. I just need a place to hide out for the afternoon. I was going to go see if Gemma needed any help at Teller-Marrow but I didn't see her car so I am assuming she isn't here. Do you need any help?" The club house was still messy from the night before.

"Oh no, you don't have to help me." It fell upon Phil as prospect to clean up the club house after parties and such. Basically he was the get shit on guy.

"Well I don't care, I need something to do or I will end up going home and Juice would not be happy about that." Grabbed the recycling bin and started collecting beer bottles. I could not believe how many trips to the larger recycling bin I had to empty out the smaller bin. By the time we were nearly done cleaning Happy and Opie walked into the club house.

"Hey Ky." Happy touched my shoulder as he walked and sat down at bar with Opie. "What are you doing?"

"I'm helping Phil clean." He looked at me, "It's a long story."

He raised his eye brows, "We have time," He offered me a spot next to him. I turned to face him and Opie and told them about the morning's situation…minus the parts before where Juice and I got a little freaky in the shower. "I would have shoved his ass on the pavement." Happy piped up after I finished my story. "Why don't I take you home so you don't have to be hanging around the club?" I smiled at his offer.

"Okay." He followed me out of the club house. Opie stayed back and chatting with Phil about some club business that needed to be taken care of. Happy lead the way back to my house, where everything seemed about the same. I parked my car in the driveway, Happy parked his bike behind it. We went into the house and it was quiet. I saw that the envelope that I had shoved under the spare bedroom door was on the counter in the kitchen. There was a note written on it:

_Kylee,  
I know I do not deserve your forgiveness and there is no excuse for my behavior other than the fact that I was still drunk from last night. Honestly I am sorry for my behavior and hope that one day you can forgive me. I am leaving your money here. I don't want it. _

_Matt_

I looked at Happy and walked into the spare room. Matt was gone. "You should be okay to leave me. Matt is gone." Happy nodded and headed out the door.

I grabbed my phone and called Juice. It rolled to voicemail. I sighed and didn't leave him a message. He obviously needed his space. My stomached growled loudly. Had I eaten yet? I hadn't had anything to eat since coffee with Donna. I made myself a sandwich and snuggled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a good romantic comedy. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up the TV was flashing the screen saver. I sat up and stretched, looking over at the clock it was 2 in the morning. I got up and turned off the TV, I walked to the bedroom expecting to see Juice there and he wasn't. I grabbed my cell which didn't have any missed calls. I tried calling him again and he didn't answer. This time I left him a message.

"Hey. I was wondering where you were. I'm a little worried. Please call me." I hung up and called Happy.

"Yeah." His voice was gruff like I woke him up.

"Shit did I wake you?"

"Um, I just went to bed. Are you okay?" He asked me with some concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, I just don't know where Juice is, have you heard from him?"

"Huh, I thought he would have called you, Clay sent him and Tig out on some club business."

"No he didn't call me." I was slightly irritated that he didn't have the courteously to call me. "Well I am at least glad that you knew what was going on, now I don't have to sit up and worry about him all night."

"No problem. He should have called but you know I could always come over and keep you company. Make sure that douche bag doesn't come back over and bother you."

"I'll be fine Hap. Thanks though." I hung up the phone.

I actually went to bed. At one point I woke up in a panic, because of a nightmare I was having. I thought about how differently the morning before was when I woke up. It was close to 6 am so I decided to get up. Still no Juice. I was actually getting angry with him, he still hadn't called me. _Was this his way of punishing me?_ I thought to myself. I made a large pot of coffee and settled on the couch with a Bride magazine that Donna gave me the day before. It wasn't before long I didn't have the patience or attitude to look at it. I tossed it on the coffee table and paced for a few minutes. I needed to do something or I was going to explode. I changed into my workout clothes and decided to go for a run. It had been ages since I pounded some pavement. I ran for a few hours before going home. I had worked out all my anger and aggression somewhere along the way. When I got home, Juice's bike was in the driveway. I walked into the house and heard the shower running. I walked into the bathroom, Juice's clothes were scattered all over the floor and they were covered in blood.

I pulled open the shower curtain, "Oh my god are you okay?" I looked him up and down to be sure that he was in one piece.

He looked at me with some confusion then realized what I was talking about, "It's not my blood." I sighed in relief and closed the curtain on him. I picked up his clothes and brought them to the laundry room. I ran back upstairs to grab the peroxide a trick I learned to take blood stains out of stuff when I started boxing. Juice had just walked out of the bathroom with nothing on other than a towel wrapped around his waist. I felt the urge to run up and hug him. There was just too much space between us. I think I took him by surprise when I threw myself into him and wrapped my arms round his midsection. He put his arms around me and kissed my head. I didn't want to let go but I did and looked up at him.

"I missed you." Was all I could say to him all my anger and irritation were forgotten. He looked so tired.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you, I am sure you were worried. When I got home and you weren't here I didn't know what to think especially since your car was here." His voice was gruff with sleepiness.

"I went out for a run. I needed to get out of the house because I was pissed off at you for not calling. I called Happy at two in the morning because you weren't here and I hadn't heard from you. He was going to come over to make sure that Matt didn't come back." I figured that he would hear about it from Happy too and he wouldn't be so nice about it.

"Things got a little involved." He yawned. He was so vague about everything. I didn't know if I could handle it.

"You should go to bed." I kissed him and grabbed the peroxide and went to the basement where the laundry was waiting. I scrubbed the blood from Juice's clothes and wondered if this was going to be my future. Clean up after his mistakes. When I finished I decided to shower and then take a nap. It was going to be one of those days when I didn't really care if I did anything.

It had been several weeks since the whole Matt and Juice not coming home incident. Life was pretty uneventful. We had decided on a date for our wedding. We set it for six months out. No need to wait any longer than it took to plan a wedding. Donna, Tara and I went to Stockton to go dress shopping. I was surprised I actually found a dress that I liked. It was a strapless mermaid style dress that laced up the back and was gathered in places with slight jeweling. I placed my order and then forced the ladies to try on bridesmaids dresses. Okay so forced is a strong word, they were happy to try on dresses. In the end I decided that they could choose their own as long as it was black. Donna found a cute short a-line dress with lace and Tara went for something a little sexier and sleek that hugged her curves.

"You know you are going to be extremely lucky if you can get Juice to wear a suit." Tara piped in.

"I figured as much. I mean the man only owns t-shirts and jeans. He might have a button up shirt that I don't know about at his house still. I am going to fight for this…I mean wouldn't it be nice to see them all dressed up and cleaned up for once in their lives?"

"If you can do it, you will be the talk and savior of the club." Donna joked.

"I may just put it this way, they will definitely get laid if they wear suits." I said then thought about how hot Juice would look in a suit. I grinned at the thought, I am pretty sure Tara and Donna were thinking the same thing. "Don't worry I will work on them. After it all isn't the wedding about the girl anyway?"

We grabbed a quick bite to eat before heading back to Charming. I had noticed that a vehicle has been following us since we had left Stockton. It could have been a coincidence, I didn't mention anything to Donna or Tara because I wanted to be sure that I was right. I pulled into a gas station that was on the way acting like I needed gas. The car pulled in too. _You have to be fucking kidding me._ I thought. The safest thing for us to do was to stay put.

"Tara, Donna?" They both looked at me. "Call Jax and Opie, tell them we are being tailed by a black SUV with several Hispanic men."

"What?" Tara started to look around for the vehicle.

"STOP, looking around, they'll know that we are onto them. Just call him." I got out of the car and started to put gas into it when I noticed the SUV had pulled up to the pump next to us. I looked into the car and saw Tara was talking on her cell while Donna was on hers. I took note of the make and model of the SUV.

One of the men got out of the SUV, he nodded at me. I tried to act as if I wasn't on to them. "Nice day isn't it?" The man asked me.

"Yes, it is." I replied nonchalantly. It really was a nice day. I had been paying so much attention to the guy at the pump I didn't realize that one of the men was behind me before it was too late. I heard Donna scream and I turned around to have him grab me. I struggled to get away. "Let go of me you asshole. Let go." Donna shoved open the door which hit the man from behind but he didn't sway any. I knew if let them get me into the SUV, I might never see Juice again. I tried to draw as much attention to myself as possible. I screamed loudly and fought. Tara jumped out of the car and pointed a gun at the man who was holding me and the other one who was starting to come to help him.

"Let her go before I shoot you both." She fired a warning shot at the man who had been pumping the gas. The other man released me and walked away, like hadn't just tried to kidnap me. I knew that this all happened in a matter of seconds but it seemed like hours. I just stood there until they were off into the distance. I took the gas nozzle out of my car and got back in. I hadn't realized how badly I was shaking. "Jax said stay put until they get here."

All I could do is just nod and watch my hands shake.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I still hadn't moved from the front seat of my car. I still hadn't closed my door, I had left it open. I didn't even budge when I heard the roar of Harleys in the distance. I was still trying to process everything that had just happened and it wasn't working. I looked at my hands and they had stopped shaking as noticeably. Donna and Tara were talking quietly, they may have been talking to me but I hadn't noticed. SAMCRO pulled into the station. _Why hadn't the station attendant come out to check on us or even help for that matter?_ I thought to myself. Tara and Donna both jumped out of the car and walked over to the guys. I just sat there. I couldn't make myself move.

"Where is she?" I heard Juice say in a panic.

"She's still in the car. She hasn't said a word since it happened. She is really shaken up." Donna said in response.

Before I knew it Juice was standing my car's doorway. "Ky?" I looked up at him. He knelt down next to me. "Are you okay?"

"Hmmm?" I responded, it was like couldn't comprehend what he was saying to me. I looked at him again, this time trying to focus on him. His stupid haircut and tattoos that made he look tough, his warm chocolate brown eyes, his soft light pink lips and his leather cut that reminded me of the smell of the first time that we rode on his Harley together…I felt the tears coming down my face before I even realized I was crying.

Juice took me out of the car and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry baby. Shhhh." I started to sob now. Juice held me tightly in his arms and I finally felt are resemblance of safety. He ran his hands over my head while I cried into his chest.

Then it hit me, "I thought I would never see you again." I looked up at him. He wiped the tears from my eyes and face and then kissed my forehead.

"Shh, it's fine. You're fine." He continued to hold me close to him. He only let go of me when Happy and Jax came over.

"We need to get back to the clubhouse." Jax said. He touched my arm gently and gave me a warm smile. "Do you think you can drive? Otherwise Tara offered to drive back."

I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair. "I can drive. I feel better now." I looked over at Happy who had his normal hard look on his face. No emotions were giving away though his dark brown eyes.

"Glad you're okay." He said as he started back to his bike.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" Juice's voice was full of concern.

"Yes I am sure. I will be fine. Don't worry." I felt slightly better since I cried. I always felt better after a good cry. The drive back to the clubhouse was quiet. I finally broken the silence when we were just about there, "Thank you, Tara." I glanced over at her.

"You're welcome but think nothing of it. You would have done the same for me or Donna. I am glad you are okay."

"Still, I really appreciate everything that both of you did to stop them." They really did more than anyone else would have done for me. And Tara was right, I would have helped them as well. There is no way I would have let them be taken even if it meant that I would have to risk my life doing so.

"I wonder where they came from and what they wanted." Donna piped up from the back seat. I thought about the morning I found Juice's bloody clothes in our bathroom. I had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with why I was almost kidnapped. We pulled in to the lot at Teller Morrow and Juice was already walking towards my car before I had it in park. _Great just what I need an overprotective fiancé._ I thought to myself. I really hoped that he wouldn't push against my need to be free.

"See made it here in one piece…and look everyone else is still intact as well!" I said smartly to him. I did the Vanna White stance to show Tara and Donna to Juice.

"You can be such a smart ass at times." He smiled at me. "I don't know what I would have done if anything would have happened to you." We walked into the clubhouse, I wanted nothing more than a beer and maybe a shot of rum.

"Did this have anything to do with what happened a few weeks ago?" I quietly questioned Juice.

He thought about it for a few seconds and then responded, "I don't know." It was like he hadn't thought about that before. Does the club have that many enemies that it would not even make him consider that he may have been the one who caused this mishap?

Happy walked over to us as I was drinking a shot of rum that Phil had poured for me. He had it sitting there for me when I walked up. He was a good guy, knowing that I would most likely need that. "Do you remember anything about the guys who tried to take you love?" Happy asked me.

"Actually I do. It was a black escalade, pretty non-descript but I noticed that it had a huge dent in the left rear bumper and its plates were not from California, they were from Arizona. The men that I saw were both Hispanic. The one at the pump had a bouffant hair cut…almost like a Hispanic Elvis." I remembered the man at the pump. "He didn't have a cut on, but he was wearing dark colored jeans and a gray work shirt. There was an emblem on it that looked like a crown." I was surprised that I could remember all this. But if I would have seen the man again I would have known him. "The guy who grabbed me smelt like cigarettes and cologne…it was strong." The memory of that was burned into my nostrils. I gagged slightly at the thought of it and it felt like I had smelt it somewhere before.

"How did you remember all that?" Juice asked me, he was just as surprised as I was.

"I took in a lot before anything happened. I didn't want to miss any important information but I did miss the license plate number." I frowned.

Happy looked at me sternly, "Fuck, you remembered more than half of the members of this club would remember if that happened to them, so you missing the license plate is nothing. You provided us with some really good information."

"Do you think that you would recognize them if you saw them again?" Juice asked me.

"Of course I could, I am sure that Tara and Donna could as well." I mentioned. "Why?"

"Oh, well we want to be sure that they are the right ones." Is all that Juice said just before him and Happy walked over to Jax. I could tell that they were talking about me because they kept looking over at me. I drank my beer and my nerves slowly became slightly less frayed.

I took a drink from my beer and looked across the bar and Phil was staring at me. I raised my eyebrows at him as if to say what? He looked worried or as if he was about to say something but didn't want to because he thought I would bite his head off.

"It would have sucked if you would have been kidnapped." I just about spit my beer across the bar at him.

"Yeah, it would have." I snorted. I thought of what of an understatement that was. I spoke with him for a few minutes about life in general and quickly downed my beer. I got up from the bar and walked towards the guys. Donna and Tara had left to be with their kids and I wanted to head home too. I touched Juice's shoulder. "I think I am going to go home."

"Not by yourself." He said point blank as he pulled me away from the rest of the group.

"Are you really saying that I can't go home?" I asked him. I started to feel defensive.

"No, I am saying I don't want you by yourself after everything that happened." There was concern in his eyes.

"So come home with me; help me take my mind off everything that has happened today." I smiled seductively at him.

"I can't." He had a look of regret on his face. "We are going to head to Stockton and find out if we can find the guys who tried to take you. I will send a prospect with you unless you would feel more comfortable with Gemma."

"Whatever." I waved annoyingly at him. I hated having a babysitter. "Just get me a prospect." I walked toward the door of the clubhouse. I was leaving with or without the prospect.

Juice followed me out of the clubhouse, "Hey…" He grabbed me lightly by the arm. "Please don't think that I am trying to control you." He kissed my hand. I didn't think he was trying to control me, rather I was just trying to get away from reminders of what happened today.

"I know. Will you send Phil over, I like him." I kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked with him to my car.

"I will call you, if I am going to be late, otherwise I will be home so I can help you forget about today." He kissed me fervently, like it would be our last kiss.

"Alright." I responded breathlessly. There was something about Juice's kisses that left me wanting more. They left me panting.

When I go home I was by myself for about 10 minutes, which I was surprised about because anything could have happened in those 10 minutes. Phil rapped at the door before walking in. I offered him a beer and chips before leaving him in the living room with the TV. I decided to take a bath to wash the smell off that was forever scorched into my brain. I had smelt that cologne somewhere before but I couldn't remember. While I was in the tub full of bubbles, I started doze off and then realized the cologne and where I had smelt it before. Jonah use to wear it. I jumped out of the tub and threw a towel around me and ran into my bedroom where my phone was.

"You know its super early right?" It was Trinity.

"I am so sorry but I need to see if you know something." There was silence on the other end which meant she was listening. "Do you remember what cologne Jonah use to wear?"

"Actually, I do, because I didn't like it." She was actually shocked that she knew what he wore, "it was Acquia, why?"

"I was almost kidnapped today. The guy was wearing the same cologne. I thought I has smelt it before and I was right."

"Wait a minute, you were ALMOST kidnapped? WHAT? Where was Juice, I told him that if he didn't protect you I would kill him myself." She had always been so protective. I am sure if she was here she would have reamed Juice a new one for not being with me.

"Shut up." I barked back at her, "He wasn't with me because I was dress shopping. That is one tradition I am not breaking Trin."

"Did you find a dress?" She asked backing down a bit.

"I did. It's a mermaid style, sleek and sexy." I loved my dress but I didn't relish the thought of going back to Stockton. I was happy that the subject had changed so quickly. "I've decided you and Kerrianne just need to find cute black dresses. I am also going to try to talk Juice and the guys into wearing suits. I mean how hot would they look?"

"They would look nice. I don't think I have ever seen any of SAMBEL ever wear a suit or a tie for that matter."

"I know. Well Triny, I will let you go. I am sorry that I woke you up."

"It's fine. I thought something was majorly wrong which by the way almost getting kidnapped is not okay." She sounded like a reprimanding mother.

"Yeah, I know. SAMCRO is taking care of it. I wouldn't want to fuck with them you know."

"Oh believe me I know. Bye Ky."

"Bye Trinity." I hung up the phone and changed into a pair of yoga pants and one of Juice's SAMCRO shirts. It smelt like him. He had called right after I got off the phone with Trinity and told me he wouldn't be home until later, I told him about the cologne. He said that it was helpful but they had a pretty good lead on the guys. The rest of my evening was filled with watching movies with Phil before I was almost passing out on the couch.

I awoke the next morning alone in bed and to snores coming from down the hallway. LOUD snores. _Holy Shite! Phil needs an oxygen mask at night,_ I said to myself. I started to walk out into the living room but I heard male voices. I entered the kitchen to find Juice and Chibs sitting at the kitchen table with cups of coffee.

"Hey." I smiled sleepily at them as I poured myself a large mug of coffee. "When did you guys get back?"

"A few hours ago, I figured I would have woken you up if I came to bed, plus Chibs showed up a few minutes after I got home. How did you sleep with all that noise?" I sat at the table with them as Juice pointed towards the back of the house.

"I didn't even hear it until I got up. He's fucking loud. I hope he lives by himself otherwise the poor people who live with him." Chibs laughed at me and started to get up from the table. "I can get you more coffee." I took his mug from him.

"Thanks love." He smiled, "I bought Kerri's ticket to come to the wedding yesterday."

"I told you, you didn't have to do that." I scolded him.

"Aye, I know love but I wasn't going to have the bride pay for my daughter come to Charming."

"Speaking of brides." I placed his steaming cup of coffee back down in front of him. I had been wanting to talk to him about this for a while but hadn't found the right time or time alone with him. I had spoken to Juice about it already and he thought it was a really good idea. "I was wondering if you would walk me down the aisle when we get married since Kip and my dad are no longer around. You have become my father figure and taken me under your wing pretty much since the first day I visited Charming."

At first Chibs sat there and contemplated what I was saying to him. He rubbed his beard and then a smile came across his face it touched his eyes. "Of course love. There is nothing that would make me happier." I felt a huge sense of relief when he said yes. I didn't know what he would say when I asked him to be a part of our wedding. It was a huge request for me to ask him especially when I wasn't his daughter.

"Thank you, Chibs!" I smiled broadly at him and then at Juice. "So did you guys figure out who was behind yesterday?"

"Yes. It was Calaveras." Juice was going to leave it at that. I couldn't leave it at that.

"Juice you need to be honest with me. You can't just say it was Calaveras and leave it at that." Chibs could tell that we were going to have a pretty in depth talk so he drank from his mug and got up.

"I am going to take that as my cue to go. Cheers." He then squeezed my shoulder as he waked by me. "Love I am honored that you would ask me to walk you down the aisle at your wedding." He leaned in closely and whispered in my ear, "Go easy on him." Then left.

Juice and I sat there in silence for several minutes before I looked at him and said, "If we are going to be married, we need to be honest with each other. You can't always keep me in the dark even if you think that I might not like what you are going to tell me. I love you, Juice and I want to bare your burdens with you. I know you are trying to keep me safe by keeping me in the dark but obviously that isn't working. We learned yesterday that the hard way."

"Where do I start?" He said. "I killed a member of Calaveras a few weeks ago. Clay sent Tig and me to deal with some business with the Mayans. Calaveras must have heard of the business and came in guns blazing. I don't know how they found out you were my old lady or how they knew what you looked like. The man I killed was one of the leaders, I don't know why they wanted to go after you but they did, normally they go after the one who did the killing." He stopped for a moment and then went on, "How does one tell the person he loves most in the world that he had killed someone hours before seeing her again? You never once asked me where the blood came from. You do not know how much I appreciated that. You just accepted it and cleaned my clothes like it was no big deal. It kind of scared me that you were so accepting. I know I shouldn't hide things from you. And starting now I will share those burdens that you want to know…however hard they are for me to share." He got up from the table and kissed my head. "I am going to see if I can get some sleep, but I don't know if I will with Filthy Phil snoring like he is."

"Juice?" He turned back and looked at me. "Thank you."

"For what?" There was a confused look on his handsome face.

"For being honest with me. For telling me. I have never had that trust with truth like that before." I said solemnly, thinking about how Liam never trusted me with anything. He never thought enough about me to tell me what he had done. I only learned through listening when I was in a room with him and his associates. I knew what sort of business they were in. I knew he had killed a countless number of people and he felt no regret for it. He actually thought it made him more god like the more he killed people. I remember hearing him say that he liked to have the choice of whether people lived or died. I think the only person he ever regretted was his first kill. He was the only one he felt remorse over. But I am sure as he continued to change and become more course he didn't regret it anymore. I didn't know if Juice felt remorse over the death of the other club member or if he thought of it more as self-defense which it pretty much was. However the other club didn't think that way, the obviously wanted revenge.

"You were right though. I needed to trust you with this. I put you in danger by not telling you." He said sadly. "I love you more than anything I have ever loved before including the club. If anything ever happened to you I would go to the ends of the earth to help you or hurt whoever hurt you." He was very matter of fact about it.

"Well I am in one piece right now." I got up and walked across the room to him where I embraced him. "I love you so very much, Juice. Now go to bed." I shoved him toward the bedroom. Phil's snores had quieted down so I knew he would be up soon and Juice would be able to sleep soundly. I knew that finding out all the truths could possibly break my heart but I wanted there to be nothing between Juice and me. I would accept him, his flaws and his mistakes all the more. I would always be completely honest with him even if it broke his heart as well. It was the only way that we would make it in this world that we lived in.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It has been a week since two Calaveras tried to kidnap me. Juice had been extra vigilant when it came to me and my safety. He rarely let me out of his sight and I was certainly never out of the sight of a club member or prospect. My only escape was when I went to the bathroom, it was like being followed around by large, annoying children. The other SAMCRO members with old ladies also put watches on them but mine were a strict don't leave her alone on pain of death. Most of the time I would have a prospect follow me around town while I was doing my errands. However I got the rare days when it as just Juice and me, I felt more at ease. I didn't actually feel like my life was potentially at risk. It was like when everything was simpler and I was naïve to the ways of things in his life or at least tried to pretend I was. Who was I kidding myself though, I was well aware of what I was getting myself into before I moved to Charming to be with Juice. I knew because I saw it all the time when I was in Belfast, SAMBEL was just as violent if not more because they were the grunts of the IRA. Gemma's piece of advice to me when I moved back to Charming was the same thing she told all the old ladies, _"Sweetheart, you love the man, you learn to love the club." _ I never had a problem loving the club. Those men had treated me like their sister or daughter since day one. I never needed to learn to love the club. I needed to learn to accept the things that Juice did for the club and how that affected my life. I didn't want to live in the state of fear or under the watchful eyes of the Sons.

I was sitting in the office at Teller-Morrow, which had become a common occurrence when Juice was on club business. He was supposed to be home that afternoon after being gone for a few days looking for the men who tried to take me. They had a decent lead after all of the information I gave them. Happy, Juice and Chibs tracked the men to Oakland where they got help from the Mayans. I didn't like that Juice had gone but he said he wanted to be the one who found the men. I tried to keep myself busy with paperwork at Teller-Morrow but it wasn't helping. My mind kept wandering to Juice and the others. I hated that they were potentially risking their lives for me. It was nearly noon when Gemma wandered into the office to do some of her clerical work.

"Hello sweetheart." Gemma poured herself a cup of coffee that I had made earlier.

"Hi," I shuffled the papers on the make shift desk we made and then looked out the window.

"How you doin'? You look a little high strung today." She said pointedly and sat down at her desk. She was right I was high strung today, I was anxious about having Juice back home and in my arms. I missed him, I had a hard time sleeping when he was not in bed with me.

"I am anxious to have Juice home. I am tired of having a prospect in my house every night. I feel like I am babysitting them while there are there. I have to make sure they are fed, watered and kept entertained. Well, all except for Phil. He pretty much takes care of himself. However he pretty much eats me out of house and home when he is over." I looked over at her, "You wouldn't believe how much cereal he eats. He will eat a whole box of cereal in one sitting." I shook my head thinking about how much food I have purchased to feed the men who kept me safe.

"Darlin' you should go get something stronger than coffee to calm your nerves. That is an order and not a suggestion." She shooed me out of the office. I walked over to the clubhouse. They were preparing for one of the normal Friday night parties that tended to go on. Walking into the club house I was hit bit the smell of cigar smoke.

"Hello gentlemen." I waved at Bobby and Clay.

"Sweetheart." Bobby smiled at me and patted the stool next to him for me to sit down.

"Hello Darlin." Clay smiled as he took a puff off of his cigar.

"I was sent over by Gemma to get something stiff to drink because coffee isn't helping my nerves today." I smiled slightly. "She told me it was an order!" Clay laughed knowing his old lady liked bossing people around…she was such a mother in that way.

Bobby waved at one of the prospects they called Rat Boy, "Get the lady a drink, prospect." Rat got right on it. And before I knew it I had a whiskey on the rocks sitting in front of me.

"Thank you." I smiled at him as I took a drink of the golden liquid. I filled me with warmth as moved its way to my stomach. Rat nodded and went back to stocking the bar for the party. As I got a better look at him I saw why they called him Rat Boy, he slightly resembled a rat. His eyes were closer together and he had a shiftiness about him that reminded me of one. "I turned to Bobby and Clay. "Thank you as well." They both looked at me with a slight confusion in their eyes. "Oh I mean for taking such good care of me. I don't know what I would have done without the support of the club and all of you."

"Don't mention it sweetheart. We do what we need to for our family." Clay smiled at me. I finished drinking the whiskey and got up from the bar. My nerves were still on high alert but I was starting to feel a bit better.

"Well I better go and help Gemma with the rest of the paperwork for the shop." I walked towards the shop and I heard the rumble of Harley engines in the distance. I didn't know if it was just a few of the other members of SAMCRO or if it was Juice, Chibs and Happy. I decided I should just keep going to the office. As I got to the door they pulled in, it was the latter. My stomach jumped when I saw him. I could barely contain myself, my body screamed out that it had been too long since it had felt his touch. I ran to him and he pulled me into his arms. He took of his sunglasses and he was sporting a black eye.

"What happened?" I touched his face gently.

"Got into a tussle." As soon as he finished saying that he covered his mouth with mine. "I've missed you." I gasped, "How was your trip?"

"Let's go into the clubhouse and talk about it over a beer." He had a serious look on his face as we walked into the clubhouse. We sat down at a table with Happy and Chibs who already had beers. They must have told Rat that we both needed beers as well because he handed us each one. It must have been bad if they thought I needed a beer.

"So…" I paused readying myself for the news. "What happened?" I looked directly at Juice when I asked because I knew he might give something away in his actions or eyes. He did not. I knew looking at Happy or Chibs would be worthless, they would never give anything away.

"We found the guys we think tried to kidnap you." Juice looked at me with concern.

"Ok so that is a good thing…right?" I looked at them, they all had grave faces. "What?"

"We need you to identify them. We want to be sure we have the right guys." Chibs jumped in.

"I can do that." I said. "You're going to kill them aren't you?" I said in nearly a whisper.

"It's the only way I can keep you safe." Juice looked at me his eyes were begging for me to understand why he needed to do this.

"Alright. When can we get this done?" I was straight forward with him. No need in beating around the bush. I think I shocked them all. I did respect for life, but I knew I wouldn't win this fight. They would kill them no matter what, they voted on it. Kill the guys who put their member's old lady in danger and tried to take her. "Did you find out why they wanted to take me?" I questioned.

"We'll go tonight before the party, we have them in a warehouse. Tig and Opie are watching them right now." Happy looked at me with a stern look on his face. His normal look. "I got what they wanted to do to you out of them." He smiled darkly, I didn't like the dark Happy. I actually feared him when he was in that sort of mood.

"And?" I looked at him with a deep question in my eyes.

"They were going to…" he started

"Shut up man." Juice interjected.

I looked over at him, it annoyed me that he was trying to hide something. "I asked you not to keep things from me."

"They were going to rape you, torture you, and kill you. The wanted to send me pieces of your body and the video of you pleading for your life." Juice got up from the table, shoving over his chair and walking to the bar. I shuttered at the thought and the luck that I had the day when Tara pulled the gun. I felt the urge to be sick. I got up and ran to the bathroom where I was sick. How could anyone do that to another human-being? And just to hurt another person. What sort of sick men were they? There was a knock on the bathroom door before he walked in.

"Ky?" He opened the stall I was kneeling in.

"They need to die." I looked up from the toilet at him. "No one who would do that to another person should be allowed to live." He flinched slightly at my anger and reaction to what I had been told. I don't think he knew that I was capable of such malevolence.

Juice helped me up from the floor and I walked to this skin and splashed water on my face, and rinse out my mouth. He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, his scent washed over me and I instantly felt safe and better. "I hate that I brought you into this, that I brought danger to our door." He looked down at me but didn't let go of me. "I will protect you with my life and never let anything like this happen to you again."

"Juice, I knew what I was getting into before I even came back to Charming. I am not stupid, I know that workings of clubs, fuck I was around SAMBEL for years. And Liam for even longer." I don't think what I said made him feel any better.

He kissed me, his mouth took possession of mine. I was burning where he touched me. "We should get this over with so we can go home." He let go of me and we walked out of the bathroom and he smacked my ass. I looked over my shoulder and smiled seductively at him. I knew everything he said to me was the truth and that he would protect me with his life. But I would also give up mine for him as well…whether he knew that or not, we would have to fight for life saving if it ever came down to it.

"We're going now!" Juice turned to Happy and Chibs. They both looked at me, I knew I must look utterly scared to them. But I felt at peace with this decision. I wondered if the deaths of the two men would bring more retribution to the club. Or if they would realize how serious they are and take a step back from trying to do anything thing to SAMCRO or its family.

"Are you sure about this bro?" Happy said gruffly but there was a spark of excitement behind his eyes. He glanced over at me as if asking Juice if I was okay with it. I knew Happy loved to torcher men who wronged the club, I also knew he killed without second guessing. I still loved him like my brother and I was set to never get on his bad side.

"She's fine with it." He said to Happy.

"Please don't act like I am not here. Let's just get this done before my moral compass turns back to compassion." I saw Happy smirk and there may have been a flash of pride in his eyes.

"Alright boys and lady, let's go." Chibs lead the way out the door.

"Are you sure you are okay doing this?" Juice asked me as he handed me my helmet.

"Yes. Now stop asking me." I was exasperated. I didn't need to talk about it anymore, fuck I didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to walk into the storage unit, identify the guys and leave. I knew it would be that easy but that is what I was hoping for as I got onto the back of the bike and hugged Juice's body.

We arrived at the storage unit which turned out to be an abandoned barn. There were four bikes parked outside the barn. I recognized two of them as Tig and Opie's bikes but I didn't recognize the other two. The Harleys had handlebars that were high where one would have to reach up to drive.

"Mayans?" I heard Chibs say to Happy. Happy mumbled something I didn't catch to him. I started to feel nervous and stopped. I didn't want to face those men again. Juice was a few steps ahead of me and he stopped too. Chibs and Happy turned around, "Everything okay?" Chibs asked with concern in his eyes as he looked at me. I felt flushed under the watch of his eyes, almost shameful, that I was afraid.

"Yeah, go ahead and go in, we'll be in, in a second." Juice motioned for them to go and turned back to me. "You don't have to go, through with anything, you know that right?" I nodded. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes momentarily to center myself. I knew I never wanted anyone else to have to deal with what these men were going to try to do to me if they had taken me.

"I know." I walked up to Juice and he took my hand into his. "I just needed a second to collect myself." I looked up into his eyes which were full of concern. "Juice, I am fine!" He shook his head like he didn't believe me but we started to walk anyway.

"Stubborn woman." He teased as we walked into the barn. Opie, Tig, Chibs and Happy were talking to two Hispanic men. They were both wearing cuts that had a tribal face on the back and they said MAYANS.

"Is this her?" One of the men who had a mustache and strip of goatee asked. His cut had a president patch on it. Obviously he was the president of the Mayans. His eyes studied me carefully as we walked up to him.

"It is." Opie said with some pride behind his voice.

"Marcus Alvarez." He held his hand out to me. The other man did not introduce himself to me but he did have a patch on that said Sergeant-at-Arms. Probably Alvarez's brawn, I thought to myself.

"Kylee." I shook his hand.

He had a tight grip as he looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry that they tried to take you. If you were my old lady I would have slit their throats already. The shit they had planned." He shook his head and I smiled weakly at him, I knew it was his way of showing respect. "You're one brave woman for coming here."

"Go get them!" Chibs barked at Tig and I saw Alvarez nod at his sergeant at arms. "Let's get this fuckin' shite over with." He cracked his knuckles. I could feel the mood in the room change, it was like all of a sudden all their testosterone surged. Tig and the Mayan remerged from the back room of the barn with two men who had clearly been beaten up they both had blood coming from their mouths and bruising started on their faces but I recognized one of them immediately. It was the man at the pump, I tensed up next to Juice. He must have known because he put his hand on the small of my back for support and to let me know he was in it with me. The other man was slightly more battered than the other and it took me a second to realize that he had been the one who grabbed me at the gas station. I could feel the nausea roll over me in waves, being this close to these men again. I started to feel panic creep up on me. I moved closer to Juice as the two men stared directly at me with intense hate and anger in their eyes. I could see that the beatings that they received under the club had not changed the way they felt about what they wanted to do to me.

"Ky?" Juice whispered in my ear. I looked up at him, "Are these the guys?"

"Yes." I said in an almost in audible whisper as I looked back at the men who were struggling against Tig and the Mayan. "It's them." I said in louder voice. I caught the look on Happy's face when I said that. It was a wild smile, if a lion were to smile before attacking its defenseless pray, that would be the face I would imagine they would have.

"You'll pay for this you stupid bitch." One of them yelled out at me.

Happy moved forward and punched him in the stomach, "Shut the fuck up, scum bag!" The man hunched over slightly but stood back up and faced the group again his eyes throwing daggers at me. I needed to get out of the building. I turned to leave the building with my job now done. Leaving it to the guys to finish with the rest but Marcus Alvarez stopped me, "I have talked to the Calaveras president and they will not be messing with you or the other ladies of SAMCRO. If they have a beef with the club they will go straight to the source of it. If they don't follow through with this they will have us to deal with as well." I was shocked by his kindness especially since he didn't know me.

I had the urge to hug him but restrained myself. "Thank you. I really appreciate that." I turned and looked back to Juice who was fired up and focused. He was cracking his knuckles, in what must have been anticipation for revenge. I didn't bother him because I have never seen him look that way before. I knew he wanted to be the one to kill them which scared me slightly. I didn't know what I thought about loving someone who had the potential to be so violent. I walked outside and let the fresh air fill my lungs. I wanted to get as far from the building as possible but not having a ride made it impossible to leave. So I walked down the driveway and found a clearing that was about 500 feet from the barn. I decided to hunker down on one of the fallen trees. After this was over I could have my freedom again, I wouldn't have sitters anymore. I could go where I wanted to, when I wanted to. Hell, I could dance around my house ass naked if I wanted to. I was excited for the prospect of peace, quiet and privacy again. While I was thinking about everything that was going on in my life and how I felt about it. A gun shot rang out loudly and then another, they brought me crashing back into reality. It was done. Just like that two lives were gone. But how many lives were saved because those two were gone? How many innocent lives had they taken needlessly? I took a deep breath and started to walk back towards the barn. Marcus and Juice were walking out of it and talking. They shook hands and Marcus walked over to his bike and strapped on his helmet. He nodded at me as he started up his bike. Juice walked over to me, I looked at him tentatively. He looked relieved and as if a heavy load had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Hi baby." He took me in his arms and held me tightly. I sighed deeply finally feeling safe. "Let's go home." He gave me a slight smirk. I couldn't have agreed with him more.

As soon as we got into the house Juice attacked me. He practically ripped off my clothes; he assaulted my body with passionate kisses. Suddenly he stopped and stared at me in my jeans and bra, I made a pouty face at him then his picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I laughed as I dangled over his shoulder. He placed me gently on our bed. His eyes were smoldering with desire, he kept his eyes on me while he took off his shirt. I bit my lower lip as I hungrily looked at his body.

"You know when you bite your lip it drives me nuts." I growled at me. I bit it again and he pounce on me. He explored every part of my body with his mouth. I could have spent the whole night with him like this. I missed his body and the way it made me feel. He finally claimed me as his own again and shattered my world into thousands of tiny pieces. I loved him for never leaving me wanting. As we laid there panting and basking in post sex contentment, he turned on his side and ran his hand down my body. Each spot he touched tingled with pleasure, I looked over at him. "I can't get enough of you." He kissed my hand that was touching his chest gently.

"I wish we could stay here all night." I purred.

"We could." He smiled seductively at me.

"You know Gemma would never let us live it down. There is no way we could get away with it." I kissed his chest, his finely chiseled chest. "We have all day tomorrow to spend in bed, worshiping each other." I sat up. "I am going to go shower, care to join me?"

He nodded, "I'll be right in." As I walked into the bathroom I heard him on his cell, _"Hey, is it done?...Yeah, we'll be there tonight….no she is okay, or at least seems like she is. I know she is a strong one isn't she? Yeah, thanks again brother for taking care of that for me, so I could go home with her. Yeah…Bye."_ I didn't know who he was talking to but I made sure I got into the shower quickly so he wouldn't know I was listening to his conversation. By the time he came in I was washing my body. He ran his hands down my back, I turned to face him with a smile.

"Care to scrub my back?" I handed him my loofa that was overflowing with soap. He took it and I turned around, he ran the loofa over my body being sure it was clean. In turn I did the same thing for him. We took our time in the shower, it was like washing of the day's events and moving on. By the time we got done with the shower I felt so much better. The day that started out with such horrible consequences was turning out to be a quite a lovely evening and knowing the way the Sons parties went I knew I would have a good time. It would help me keep my mind off of what happened as well.

As we were getting ready to leave the house, I turned to Juice and said, "Thank you."

He gave me a bewildered look, "For what?"

"For protecting me, for loving me, for making me feel safe, even if I had to have prospect sitters who ate us out of house and home."

"You're my old lady, I would do anything and everything in my power to keep you safe. I don't know what I would do without you, Kylee. You are my world." He embraced me and I kissed him. I didn't need to stand on my tip toes because I was wearing a cute pair of red heels I had picked up during the week. "You look fucking sexy by the way." I took a step back so he could enjoy the view a bit more. I had on a lower cut black shirt that had some beading embellishment on it, it showed off just the right amount of cleavage without giving anything away and a pair of dark jeans. I had pulled my long brown hair up into a messy bun wisps of hair had fallen out of it and framed my face.

"You don't look to bad either killer." I winked and then smiled broadly at him. I knew that my big, bad, biker fiancé and I would be okay. We made it through that day we could make it through pretty much anything.

_**A/N: Thank you guys for your continued support, I am sorry that you had to wait so long for this chapter…I was finishing up with finals in school as well as giving finals to my class. I am out of school for a month so hopefully I will be able to be more diligent with the updates. I hope you enjoyed this chapter…before we know it, it will be time for Kylee and Juice's wedding and you haven't seen the end of Ima's meddling. ;) **_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

There was nothing better than a SAMCRO party. They were full of drunken debauchery. By the time Juice and I arrived at the party we were assaulted with drunk members and croweaters when we walked up to the club. It made me wish we would have stayed in bed together. I am sure that ladies would have never let me hear the end of it. I certainly know that Happy would give me a hard time about it. He enjoyed torching me.

"It's about time you two get here," Chibs walked over to us. He smelt like cigarettes and alcohol…which one I couldn't say. It was probably a mixture of several different kinds. Drinking away his sins, I thought to myself, maybe I should do that too. "I know what you two were up to." He narrowed his eyes at us.

"I don't know what you could be speaking about Chibs." I smiled as I let go of Juice's hand and walked into the club where I knew at least Gemma would be. I felt much lighter walking into the club which was very much unlike the last time I was in there. I spotted Gemma and Donna sitting at one of the tables, before going to join them I went to the bar where Rat Boy was tending. "Hi, can I get a brown ale?" I asked him.

"Sure. You are looking more relaxed then the last time that I saw you." He smiled at me. He was a nice guy. He was respectful when he had to keep an eye on me which I had always appreciated and he never ate me out house and home.

"Thanks, I feel better." I nodded in agreement, I hadn't really had time to think about it but I felt so much better. It could have also been my mad romp with Juice too. He handed me my beer, "Thanks Rat." I turned and walked away to go sit with Gemma and Donna. "Hello Ladies." I smiled.

"Ah someone got laid." Gemma smirked at me.

"Um..yes but can I not just be happy to see you guys?" I asked, there was no need lie to them about getting a little, I know Juice was more than open about that shit with his brothers.

"Darlin' no one has been happy to see me in years." She teased. "Okay well maybe Clay has been."

I laughed at her. "I am also sans body guards now!"

"So they found them? Is that where Opie was earlier today?" Donna asked me. Her blue eyes were inquisitive. I could tell her husband had not shared the intimate details about what happened with my would be abductors.

I decided it would be good to not share what happened to them either, I would keep those secrets to myself. Plus there were a few too many ears around at that moment. Who knows what someone would do if they found out that the club just executed some justice on a few no to innocent men today? "Yeah they found them." I said and left it at that. "I feel much safer, plus now I don't have a constant shadow. I can enjoy solitude once again." I smiled at them. I looked up and saw Juice staring at me while talking to Happy and Jax. I winked at him and he did the same in return. I wondered how I had gotten so lucky with a man who loved me so very much. Yes he could be over protective but I suppose I would rather be over protected then controlled and manipulated. My life had changed so much in less than a year. I had lost so much but had gained even more in return. I looked around at my adopted family, they were dysfunctional, loud, gun carrying, law breaking, sex maniacs but they were all mine. I smiled softly at this. If it hadn't been for my brother I would never have this family. We were all enjoying the party by that I mean we were all drinking quite a lot. I was actually feeling tipsy. Happy fed me a few shots of something that tasted like cinnamon and burned like fire on the way down. Donna had left go relieve the babysitter, Gemma and I sat there talking when they walked in, the whores from Caracara. I didn't notice her at first but after a few minutes I saw her hanging on off of one of one of the prospects.

"Oh FUCK NO!" I stood up, fueled by anger and liquor. I stormed over to her. "What the fuck are you doing here whore?"

Ima gave me a smug look. "What does it look like?" She rubbed the prospects leg seductively. "I was invited."

"I don't care if you were invited, get the fuck out! Your invite was rescinded when you pressed false charges on me…or didn't you realize that after spending a week in jail for falsifying information?" I spit back at her as I walked closer to her. I was willing to use force, I wasn't afraid of anything happening.

The prospect who I didn't know, looked shocked that I had such a strong reaction to her being there. I was pretty sure he had no clue who I was, "Whoa, honey, she is welcome here, you could always join us." He ran his hand down m y thigh thinking that it would be a turn on to me. He dared to touch me like I was a croweater. "Maybe one day you'll make me a good old lady!"

"Don't honey me!" I am pretty sure I growled at him, "I am not some sweet butt or croweater that you can talk to like that." He tried to touch me again, I smacked his hand again and he stood up and tried to grab at me. I am sure that Juice must have seen what was going on. "Don't fucking touch me!" I shoved him away from me.

"What the fuck?" Juice stood between us.

"Just trying to teach this tart that she can mess around with my lady friend…unless she wants to join up bro." The prospect looked at Juice. He seemed to think that he could already speak to Juice like he was a member of SAMCRO. Even I knew that was a huge disrespect if you were a prospect to try to talk to the members like you had a say.

"Get the fuck out man or I will fucking kill you and take that whore with you." I don't think I had ever seen Juice that angry. Not even when he was about to kill those two men, not even when he found out what happened to me in Belfast. He had rage in his eyes, it made me shutter a bit.

"Whoa dude, isn't it brotherhood before pussy?" The prospect pushed back.

"He said get the fuck out." Happy growled from behind us. "You do not disrespect the old ladies unless you want to get the shit beat out of your dumb ass!" He then turned to Ima who tried to look all innocent to him. I wanted nothing more than to punch that look off of her face. "Skag, take your fucking rancid pussy out of this club house, you are not welcome here!" She grabbed her purse and stormed out in a huff. The prospect looked back at Happy and Juice who were standing their ground by me.

"Doesn't look like that one will be around for long." Jax's voice came out from nowhere. "How you doin' doll?" Jax put his hand on my back.

"I was doing great until that fucking whore came in here." I shook my head, how dare she show her face in this club house after everything she had done. I sat in a fucking jail cell because of her, I smiled slightly at the thought of her sitting in a jail cell.

Phil came rushing into the club house, "Um Kylee, Ima…your car." Was all he could get out between breathes. He actually ran to tell me. I ran out into the parking lot of Teller Morrow only to see Ima bashing my beautiful car with metal pole. I came to a dead stop, I could feel my rage wash over me in tsunami size waves.

"What are you doing you stupid whore?" I yelled at her, walking up to her like I was a cat stocking its prey. She looked at me and threw the metal pole that she had just used to smash in my head lights and windshield at me. I ducked I had been drinking but I hadn't lost my large motor skills. I took another step closer to her determined to get a punch in, I was sick of that fucking whore.

"Don't you dare take another step closer to me!" She shrieked. I didn't heed her I took another step. She started struggling with her purse, the other must have seen what was going on before I did, because Juice was right next to me and Jax was behind her…she pulled a gun out of her purse. "Stay the fuck away from me." She pointed the gun at me.

"Are you really going to try to shoot me in front of all these people you stupid cunt?" _Cunt_ the name I reserved for the most horrible of people.

She held the gun in her shaking hands but continued to point it at me. "You know what he told me that night?" She brought up the night she was with Juice, "He told me that I was a far better fuck then you were. He told me that you were a charity fuck. He said that you were some whore he never wanted to see again." She tried to make me angry with this but it didn't do anything. I rolled my eyes at her. "Do you know his cock felt so good inside of me? I rode him all night long. I got pregnant that night you know. But its fine…I took care of that." I took advantage of her looking over at Juice when she said that to launch myself at her. I couldn't handle it anymore, she pulled that last thread of sanity I had left in my body. That last string that held my compassion into place. My fist slammed into her face and body several times before someone pulled me off of her. Rage blinded me.

"I hate you!" I screamed as two sets of strong arms pulled me off Ima. "You are stupid wretched prostitute who has nothing better but then to try to make other peoples' lives miserable. But you know what. You are nothing!" I glared at her, "I know you love Juice. But you know what he doesn't love you. If he did he would have given a second thought to me when I went back to Belfast but he did. He would have been with you from the start. If he cared two shits about you, he wouldn't have asked me to marry him!" the two sets of hands holding me back, loosened their grip as I calmed down.

"Fuck you!" She bit back, I looked at her for the first time with clear eyes, she face was bloody and hair was an utter mess. I didn't feel any regret for what I had just done to her. I knew she wouldn't go to the cops again because they wouldn't believe her. "You stole him from me. I was going to be his old lady." She blamed me for taking him away from her. I tried to shrug off the guys hold me back, I looked and it was Happy and Juice. I glared at Juice, if he had been clear with her from the beginning then this wouldn't have happened. He looked at me with confusion in his eyes, I couldn't look at him anymore, I was so angry. I turned to Happy.

"Take me home." I told him.

"I don't think that is my place, love." He let go of my arm and looked at Juice.

"It's fine." he turned and went back to the club house. I think he was still processing that he had knocked up Ima and she thankfully terminated that pregnancy. Or maybe she was just saying that to make me angry, well it worked. Either way he knew me better than I probably knew myself, I needed my space to process everything. I took a woeful look at my car, my beautiful car which had allowed me freedom, now it was dented and broken. I shook my head as I walked with Happy to his bike. I grabbed my helmet from Juice's bike and hopped onto Happy's bike where he had already had it started. I took one last look at Ima hopefully my last one, she was being escorted to her car by Jax, he had an angry look on his face and he was talking to her. I couldn't tell what he was saying but I was hoping he was telling her to never come back.

Happy dropped me off, he grabbed my arm as I started to walk into the house.

"Kylee, you did the right thing." He said as if my conscious was getting the best of me; which it was not. "You need to stand up for yourself when it comes to the croweaters, or sluts that hang around the club, which by the way I don't mind them but still you old ladies have it hard when it comes to them." I looked at him as he continued talking, probably the most I had ever heard him talk. "She shouldn't have said the shit she did." I nodded and gave him a small smile that didn't touch my eyes.

"Thanks Happy." I turned to go in.

"Hey Ky?" I turned back to look at him. "I'll have Phil and Rat take a look at your car tomorrow and see if there is anything that we can do for it."

"Thank you, will you tell Juice, he can come home tonight." I paused, "Actually I would prefer if he did, unless he really doesn't want to, which I understand too."

Happy nodded as he kicked his Harley to life and pulled himself out of the driveway and took off towards Teller-Marrow. I went into the house, which was filled with such love and passion only a few hours earlier now it felt empty and lonely. I went into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed in a sobbing mess. How could he gotten her pregnant? How could he have not been careful? Stupid whore just added another bump in our already pothole filled road. At least you can run bumps over.

I ended up crying myself to sleep, I woke up when I felt the bed dip from Juice's weight. I rolled over and looked at him. He was sitting on the bed without a shirt on taking off his shoes and socks. I touched his back; him being close again took away all the strain of the day. I wanted to lose myself in him. He turned his head and looked at me with concern in his eyes. I sat up and moved to his side of the bed so I was sitting directly behind him. I kissed his shoulder, ran my hands over his bare chest.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear then I kissed his neck. I could feel his tense muscles, relax as I continued to kiss him. He moaned quietly as I bit his shoulder softly. He turned to face me, he took my face in his hands roughly and kissed me passionately. I wanted him so badly, I needed him. "Juice, I need you." I told him and I started to unbutton his pants. He quickly remedy that by taking them off himself. I in turn took off my clothes, Juice watched me with ravenous eyes. There was nothing loving or caring about us having sex, it was all about hunger and desire. I think we both wanted to show the other who much we needed them. We wanted to forget about the day and get lost in each other. And that is exactly what we did. I was a sweaty, panting mess when we were done. As I laid there Juice took me into his arms and held me.

"I love you, Kylee. You have always been the one for me. Before you there were just faceless bodies. The day you turned around at your brother's funeral it was like the blinders I had on were lifted. I knew I wanted you and no one else." He was being so honest with me, I had never told him what I thought about him that day.

"You gave me butterflies." I thought of the first time I saw Juice, "I couldn't believe I was flirting with you at Kip's funeral. Thank you for everything you have done for me, since that day."

He sighed deeply, "I have also caused you so much pain. You have to deal with Ima, you almost got taken from me because of my stupidity." He looked down at me.

"Juice." I turned over on the bed so I was facing him. "You didn't cause them. Ima is a fucking bitch who needs to realize that you will never be hers and she needs to get over it. And those guys who wanted to kidnap me they did that of their own volition, not yours. You did everything in you power to find them and protect me."

"I couldn't protect you against Ima today." I looked into my eyes.

"I don't need protection from Ima, you saw that tonight." I scoffed. I thought about how she had to pull a gun and she still got her ass kicked.

"You certainly do not need help from her physically, even if she has a gun. But she said some hateful stuff. I saw the switch in your head flip, Ky. You turned into someone else, someone full of rage and anger, when she said that she had been pregnant with my child and when she told you about that night you left." Ouch that hurt, having him say it hurt. I wanted to pretend that, the night they were together happened in a different life time.

"I would be lying if I told you that it doesn't sting…okay burn severely when she talks about the night you were together. Actually tonight she threw me into a blind rage." I thought about my poor car the innocent victim of all this. "I think it was a combination of everything that's happened today, she was just the topping on the shit cake."

"You do not need to worry about her any more. Jax told her she was no longer welcome at the club house and if she is seen there then she will be fired from Cara Cara." Well that was a plus, I thought about her bloodied face and a small smile crept across my face. I wish karma would hurry up and bite her in the ass. She needed a taste of it.

I fell asleep in Juice's arms that night, for the first time in a long time there was a sense of calm and peace in my life. Everything was a lined and heading down the right path. Now I could focus on planning our wedding and our future together.


	17. Chapter 17

Ch 17

It had been 5 and a half months since the Ima incident and I had not seen or heard of her since. I had overheard Shayla (the croweater Matt took a liking to) and one of the CaraCara girls talking about Ima one day. The girl, whose name I never cared to learn, said that Ima was going to be out of work for about a month unless they did a jail house one where she is in a scene prior getting beat up. She said her face looked like she hit the pavement running. The doctors said she was possibly going to have a crooked nose because of where it broke. I smiled to myself, a broken nose was nothing to my suffering. She deserved every bit of her broken nose and bruised face. She was a horrible person, who asked for everything she got!

My car took two weeks to fix, the guys had to replace all the windows, mirrors that were on the outside of the car, and my lights. Then I had to take it to a body shop to get the damage to the body repaired. I was thankful that I was able to rent a car during that time period, I had wedding things to get done. It was nice to be out on my own again without an armed escort; however I guess I did miss the company when I was out and about. Phil tended to humor me when I asked which of two things I should get; which was nice of him. He was turning out to be my favorite prospect. He was like a giant teddy bear who needed to be hugged. I was bound and determined to find him a nice old lady.

Juice and my wedding was only a few weeks away, we were still fighting over the tuxedos or suits that I was aching to have the guys wear. I was even conceding on parts, they could wear their cuts too…I just wanted to see my fucking man in a suit instead of jeans and t-shirt for once in his life. Trinity and Kerri were going to be coming into town in a few days and I was so excited I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. I hadn't seen my best friends since the day I left Belfast, of course had talked them pretty much daily, but it wasn't the same. Trinity said she had been in touch with Tara and they were planning a bachelorette party for me. I wasn't really looking forward to it but it would help because I knew that the guys were going to go out the same night and it would take my mind off of that. I guess I was just happy that they would be in town for more than just the wedding. We had set up arrangements for them, Kerri would be staying with me because Chibs didn't think his house was good enough for his daughter and Trinity was going to be staying with Jax, Tara and the boys. Which meant I would have a house full of people from time to time, because there is no way Chibs wouldn't be over visiting and I know Trinity would be over as well. So I needed to stock up on groceries and overall household goods. I was busy thinking about everything that needed to be done I didn't even realize the person in front of me at the grocery store had stopped walking, I ran directly into them.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry." I announced loudly as the man turned around, it happened to be none other than Sheriff David Hale.

"Shit Kylee, you should have to have a license to drive a cart." He half teased and was half serious. He rubbed the back of his legs where I had hit him.

"I'm so sorry Sheriff Hale. I was thinking about the wedding and how much still needs to be done. I wasn't paying attention."

"I'll say." He laughed at me. Thank god he wasn't angry. "How are things going jail bird?" I had only seen him out and about a few time since my arrest. He had always been very nice to me, today was the first time I had seen him out of his police uniform and he was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a dark gray t-shirt and a pair of black sneakers. He actually looked like a normal civilian. It was nice to see that.

"They're going. I have been crazy busy with planning the wedding, Juice of course is no help at all other than to try and veto things." I rolled my eyes thinking about how he keeps veto the suits. The one thing I really want and he is saying no. Oh, a good many fights had come from that, he was being an asshole and fighting me tooth and nail. It wasn't like I was asking him to go stark ass naked to our wedding; although I think that he would prefer that. Men!

"We are rarely any help when it comes to planning stuff." Hale said with a smirk.

"Yeah, I am learning that!" I rolled my eyes.

He looked at my cart, "Please don't tell me you are cooking for your own wedding." My cart was close to overflowing with food.

I laughed and thought about how ridiculous that was. "No, my best friends will be in town, I am assuming I will have to host several dinners which means the club will be there too." I smiled. I couldn't wait for them to get into town, it was almost as excited about that as I was about my upcoming nuptials.

"Ah, well at least you will have more help." I looked at his meager basket of food.

"You know if we do end up having a barbeque you are more than welcome to come over for it. There will be plenty of food, well that is if Phil doesn't end up eating it all." I offered.

He looked at me uncomfortably, "Ah...I don't think that would be a good idea."

I laughed at him, "Fraternizing with the criminal element would look bad on your record would it."

He smiled, "Yeah something like that. Well I best be on my way, watch where you drive that thing." He pointed at the cart as he walked away. Then he turned back to me, "Oh and Kylee, best of luck to you and Juice."

"Thanks Sheriff Hale."

"David." I smiled at him when he told me his first name.

I finished my shopping trip which cost me an arm and a leg but the hell if I wouldn't be prepared for Trinity and Kerri's visit. Everything would be just right. They had never seen me in a state where I wasn't being controlled by Liam. Towards the end I was not even close to the girl they knew. I was broken. Thankfully I had an amazing fiancé who helped me put those pieces back together and make me whole again. I realized after the whole Ima thing that I had a lot of anger issues but they were mostly directed towards one person so if she stayed the fuck out of my way then life would be good.

My phone started to ring while I had my arms full of bags from the grocery store. I shuffled my bags and grabbed my phone out of my purse.

"Hey." I answered knowing it was Juice.

"Hey Baby, where are you?" It was nice to hear his voice.

"I am just leaving the grocery store. You aren't home by any chance are you?" I asked hoping he would be since I really did not want to carry in and put away everything that I bought.

There was a pause on the other end. "Actually I'm not, I am at the clubhouse. Why don't you stop by?" He suggested.

I sighed and I finished loading all the bags into my car. "I don't know." I said quietly. I had a lot of things to get done at home with the wedding coming up so quickly and my Belfast visitors "I have a lot of things to get done at home."

"Ah come on. I may have a surprise here for you." He tried to entice me.

"Jerk! You know I can't resist surprises. Is it any good?" I asked.

"I am going to say, yes it is good. So hurry up and bring the groceries home and get your lovely ass here." I could hear him smiling on the other line. If there was such a thing.

"Alright, but I am not staying long." I smiled as I turned down the street to our house. It was such a cute one story home. I had changed the outside slightly from when my brother owned it. I painted it a gray color with extremely light aqua blue shutters. I also put up a fence around the front yard, which of course was a white picket fence. Pretty much how I imagined my house would be when I grew up. The front of the house had hydrangea bushes that were currently flowering and smelt wonderful. I pulled into my driveway and parked my car. I loved my house so much. It meant a lot to me that Kip had left it for me. He was always so good to me when we were younger. I just wish he would have been around long enough to see me be happy and married. I knew that he would be there in spirit, the day Juice and I got married. I unloaded my car, it too me at three trips to get everything in the house. I decided since Juice wasn't home to help me unload the car, I would make him put away the stuff that didn't need to be refrigerated when he got home.

I pulled into Teller-Marrow's parking lot about fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with Juice. Nothing seemed exciting, Happy, Tig and Bobby were all sitting outside on one of the picnic tables. "Hello gentlemen." I said to them as I walked up to the club.

"You know it's not too late to have an affair." Tig piped in as I walked by.

"Oh I am sure that Juice would totally allow that…you know one last fling before the ring." I smirked, Tig was almost old enough to be my own father, which was totally gross but I humored him.

"You wouldn't go back to him after you had me, sweetheart." Tig continued.

"How do you know you could go back to the Croweaters after me?" I asked and then winked at him as I started into the club house.  
When I walked in I didn't know what I was getting into; all I knew was that there was some sort of surprise waiting for me at the club house. Juice was sitting at one of the tables with Jax and Opie. I walked up from behind Juice, put my arms around him and kissed his neck, "Hey."

"Hi, you sure took your time getting here." He said to me. _Seriously,_ I thought to myself

"Well…if I would have had some help getting all the stuff in the house and put away, I would have been here sooner." I stood up and looked at him, he was acting as if I wasn't super busy and stressed out enough by our upcoming nuptials. He looked at me and laughed he could tell I was getting upset.

"Do you want your surprise or not?" He asked me, Jax and Opie were both smirking. I frowned at them.

"I'm here, aren't I?" I replied.

His eyes flickered over my shoulder, "Turn around then."

I turned around and to find the most amazing and wonderful surprise ever….Trinity and Kerrianne were there. "OH MY GOD!" I ran to them and took them both into my arms. "What are you doing here? I thought you were coming in a few days." I could feel tears streaming down my face. I was so happy to have them in my arms, to touch them, to see them. I was just happy.

I looked back at Juice who was beaming happily. "Surprise!" I smiled at him, god I loved that man with all my heart. I didn't realize that I could love so deeply until I met him or that someone could love me the way he did.

"We got an earlier flight out, well Juice got us an earlier flight out." Trinity smiled she had grown her bangs out since the last time I saw her. But she looked exactly the same, long light blond-red hair color, happy greenish blue eyes. She stood slightly taller than me. "You look amazing, and happy. I can't remember the last time I saw you glowing like this, Ky."

I looked down at myself. I knew inside I was utterly happy and pretty much as peace with everything that had happened in the past. I had filled out a bit with muscle, since I was starting to train again and run, the two things that helped me with my anger. Nothing better than hitting the pavement or punching something to work out any aggression I had. "Thanks. You both look so wonderful." I had a broad smile on my face. Kerrianne, had cut her long dark chocolate brown hair, up to her shoulders it gave her hair more curl which I had always been envious when it came to hair. She was not wearing her usual jeans and t-shirt. She actually had on a cute low cut billowy one shouldered top in a lovely eggplant color and white capris. "What are you wearing?" I asked her it was so out of her comfort zone.

Kerri gave me a strange look, "What do you mean? Am I not supposed to wear clothes? Does it not look okay?" She started to fidget with her clothes.

"No you look beautiful. It's just I don't think I have ever seen you wearing anything other than jeans, t-shirt and that green jacket of yours." I said as I pulled them both over to the bar where Rat was working. "Three Jamesons, please." Rat nodded and went to go get our drinks. "I am so happy you are both here early!" I hugged them again. I hadn't grasped how much I had missed them until they were standing in front of me.

Juice came up from behind me and whispered in my ear, "So do you like your surprises?" I turned and looked at him and flung myself into his arms.

"This is the best surprise ever! Thank you!" I kissed him.

"Ladies, I will now return my beautiful bride to be to you." Juice smiled at them as he walked back to the table with Jax and Opie.

"He's good to you." Kerri smiled at me as Rat handed her a highball, and then did the same for Trinity and me.

"Thanks, Rat." I held up my glass to him as we walked over to one of the tables. "He is, isn't he? I never knew I could love someone like I love him. It was providence that we met. Because in all honesty he completes me. I have never known love like this before."

"Barf." Trinity joked. "So how is the wedding planning going?" She asked as we sat down.

I thought about how Juice and I had just argued about the suits again, really that I guess was the only glitch in the planning. "They are pretty much done, I am still working on convincing Juice that he would look HOT in a suit. He is not having any of it, but I will not stop until the day of the wedding." I took a drink out of my Jameson. It was so wonderful to have my two best friends with me again. "How long are you guys staying then?"

"We leave here a week after the wedding." Trinity took a sip of her whiskey. "I am assuming you will at least go away for a few days after the wedding."

I honestly hadn't thought about going on a honeymoon. There was just too much going on to think about that. "I hadn't thought about it. Honestly I have been too busy planning everything else."

"WHAT?" Trinity piped up her firey Irish temper was coming through, "Are you seriously telling me you are not going anywhere after the wedding?" She looked over at the table with Jax, Opie and Juice. "Are you not bringing our girl somewhere for a honeymoon?" She laid on Juice.

"Shit brother, I am glad I am not on the end of that temper." Jax smirked at Juice.

"Yeah, now I know where Ky, gets her temper." He said to Jax before turning to us. "I may have something planned." He was vague, "I figured Kylee would want to spend time with you and Kerrianne before you go home so I have something planned after you leave. It was a surprise but I guess it isn't anymore."

This was all a surprise to me, I smiled at Juice. I liked surprises, okay only good ones. Trinity gave me a look that told me she was sorry. I wrinkled my nose and shrugged my shoulders. "It's okay Trin. So did you guys get cute dresses?" I asked them changing the subject.

"I never thought you'd ask." Kerri got up and waved us to go with her. We went back to one of the apartments in the back of the clubhouse. Kerri grabbed a garment bag that was hanging on the bathroom door. She pulled out a beautiful one shouldered black dress that was knee length. "This is Trin's and this is mine…" She then took out a strapless black cocktail dress.

I stood there in awe for a few seconds thinking about how beautiful my friends would look in their dresses. "Oh my god, you are going to look so beautiful!" I was slightly teary eyed.

"So when do we get to see your dress?" Kerrianne asked.

"I have a fitting tomorrow if you would like to come with me." I smiled slyly. It was actually my final fitting before I would pick up my dress.

"Fuck yes!" Trinity smiled. "I cannot wait to see you in your dress, plus I need to get some shoes to go with my dress. Now let's go out there and show those fucking bikers how real Irish girls drink." I loved that she still considered me Irish. Over the months that I had been back in Charming, I had lost some of my Irish lilt. I had picked up more of an Americanize Irish accent.

"Shite, I don't think my da will be happy if I do that." Kerri said. Since when did she have a conscious about such things?

"Really Kerri?" I stared at her for a second as we walked out the door. "Your da and I have drank too much together far too many times…let's drink these guys under the tables." We walked out laughing and formulating our plan to drink the guys under the table.

We got out there and happy was sitting at one of the tables setting up his tattoo gun. He on occasion had been known to set up an impromptu tattoo session with the Sons. However he had his eyes on me. I sneered at him jokingly and he beckoned me with his finger. I shook my head as I made a beeline for the bar to join Kerri and Trinity. Rat smirked at us, "Ladies, what will it be?"

"Something strong for this one." I heard Happy's voice over my shoulder. I turned around and he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder. I let out a small squeak in surprise.

"Put me down Happy Lowman." I barked at him. He didn't obey until we were next to the table where he was setting up his tattoo machine. I stood there and looked at him, I hadn't asked him to tattoo me. "What?" I said with some belligerence behind my voice.

"Sit." He said sternly. I looked at him like he was crazy. "Sit…" he said again. "It's time for your ink."

"What?" I looked at him and then Juice who was staring at me and then raised his eye brows and smirked at me like a stupid little boy. "You have to be kidding me, your inking me for him." I looked over at Juice. "I thought I would at least get a say in what I am getting." I hadn't really thought about getting another tattoo, my last tattoo was a four leaf clover that was done when I moved to Ireland. I got it on my right hip bone. I never regretted it, it was my change of life, my first step towards my adulthood in Ireland.

"Sit." Happy commanded one more time. I sat down in the chair like a spoilt child. Happy pulled my left arm towards him. I looked at him nervously. "Get this girl a fucking shot, NOW!" He barked orders at someone.

Juice laughed at me. I flipped him off. "That's my girl." He said proudly.

"Do you trust my Ky?" Happy asked me looking me directly in the eyes.

I took a deep breath, I would trust him with my life but with my porcelain skin when I had say no say in it? "With my life…and my skin." I gave him weak smile as he wet down my wrist with water and placed the stencil on it. He gave me a wicked smile as he removed the stencil and revealed the tattoo that would be on my wrist for life. I gasped at what I saw, it was beautiful. Happy and Juice had sat down and designed a stunning tattoo for me. It meant more to me then I think either of them actually knew. The tattoo was of a cage and two crows flying away from it together. It was perfect.

"Say something." Juice startled me, I hadn't realized he was next to me.

I looked up at him and smiled. "It's perfect. Now let's see if this asshole can actually tattoo." I teased Happy.

"Careful Ky, I am the one with the tattoo gun and I could always give you a lovely face tattoo for your wedding gift." He turned his tattoo gun up towards my face.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "I would like to remind you I am a good aim and there are plenty of guns within my reach." Happy smirked at me as he started to tattoo my wrist. Trinity handed me a shot of something brown. I looked at her.

"James." She said, "Remember he is our friend, he has a son." She grinned at me, throwing me back to the first time I met her. She and I had always been kindred spirits. It was my first visit to Northern Ireland with Liam. He said he had to go to this biker party, it sounded shitty but I was willing to do it because I was going to be with him. He introduced me to a few of the clubs old ladies hoping they would welcome me with open arms, they saw me as competition for their men's attention. I was a spry, tight bodied 18 year old, who was exotic to them with my cute ass and American accent. It was Trinity, the fiery ginger, who welcomed me with open arms. We bonded over our friend, Jameson. Throughout our years of friendship, James was our best friend too. We drank a good many nights with that bottle and tonight would not change that. I took the shot quickly savoring the flavor that lingered in my mouth and on my lips. "Another?" Trinity asked. I nodded as I felt the twinge of pain from my wrist telling me something was going on.

I finished off three shots and a beer by the time Happy finished my tattoo. It was even more breathtaking than the stencil. Happy wiped off my arm and applied salve. "What do you think?"

"Happy…" was all I got out before I launched myself into him, hugging him. "Thank you." I whispered.

"Yeah." He smiled at me as I released him, "You should really thank that shit head over there because it was his idea for the design, and I just drew it." He pointed back at Juice.

I smiled at my handsome husband to be and walked over to him. "Thank you, baby." I said quietly to him. He looked at me longingly and took me into his arms.

"You're welcome." He whispered and kissed me.

~~A/N~~ Thank you all for being so patient while waiting for this chapter. I started a new job so life is a bit chaotic while I adjust. I will be working overnights which may lead to times when I can write more so you may get more chapters, but I am not sure yet.

Thank you again for you support!


	18. Chapter 18

~~Chapter 18~~

My head throbbed when I woke up. I couldn't believe that I allowed Kerri and Trinity to throw me a bachelorette party. Nothing good ever comes from the Irish and drinking, hell nothing good came from us girls being together without kids and old men. I turned over to in bed and hit something; it wasn't Juice. It was a blow up doll…_what the fuck_ I thought to myself. I couldn't remember much after the first half of the evening. We ended up at some club where the shots were flowing. I moaned miserably as I crawled out of bed, why did I allow myself to drink like that? I was no longer wearing my sexy black and gold sequence dress with a low cut back. My beautiful dress was in a mound on the floor with my heels and jewelry. Not knowing who was out in the living room I put on a pair of yoga pants and one of the first shirts I grabbed out of the drawer it turned out to be one of Juice's SAMCRO shirts. I stumbled into the living room and towards the kitchen to get something for my headache.

"There she is!" It was Chibs and he was loud. I glanced over at the couch where his voice came from, Juice, Chibs and Kerri were all sitting there.

"What the fuck?" I said as I staggered into the kitchen for hydration and drugs.

"Feeling good huh?" Chibs joked. I could tell by how quiet Juice was he was feeling just about as good as I was. The guys had thrown Juice a party too.

After taking some ibuprofen and drinking a large glass of water I went out into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Juice. "Hi." I whispered to him.

"I would have joined you in bed but you had company." There was a spark of humor in his eyes.

"Oh you mean blow up Juice?" I raised my eye brows at him. "Are you jealous of my company?"

"Well he was in bed with you and you were cuddling with him. So yes I was slightly jealous. I may have to kill him." He smirked at me. My head hurt but it made my heart happy that Juice was in the mood to tease me. "Did you have a good time list night?"

"From what I can remember it was great! All I know is that I have some amazing friends." I smiled at Kerri who was snuggled in with her dad. It was nice to see her with him, I don't remember seeing her so happy before. "Did you have a good time?"

Juice smirked, "Yeah it was good." It looked like he was remembering the night before. I would have liked to be a fly on the wall for when the guys get together for a bachelor party. I guess I would have to imagine that they were doing what they normally do…drink and deal with Caracara whores. I decided that I didn't want to think about it. I shook my head. "What's your plan for today beautiful?"

I know I did not look beautiful at that moment but I loved that he called me that. "Um…sleeping off this hang over with 'Blow up Juice'…he had a rough night too you know." I winked at Juice as I got up and started back to the bedroom. "Kerri, thank you for last night." I smiled at her and turned around to go back to the room. As soon as I got back into bed and snuggled up to my blow up version of Juice including head tattoos. Actual Juice walked through the door with a pair of scissors. "Hey now what are you going to do with those?" I gave him a fake incredulous look.

"I told you I was a jealous soul, so I am going to kill your boyfriend who is in bed with you." He took the scissors to Blow up Juice's foot and he was instantly deflated. I gave Juice a pouty face. "Wouldn't you rather have me in bed with you?" He asked me as he took off his shirt and pants. He pulled the remains of the flattened doll off the bed and climbed in next to me.

Truth was I would rather be in bed with him. "I missed you." I laid my head on his chest. He smelt like Juice mixed with stale alcohol and cigarettes. He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head.

"I missed you too. I wish I would have gotten to see you in your new dress." I could feel him smile. "How many guys hit on you last night?" He inquired.

"Um…" I tried to remember the previous night. There were a few times that guys hit on me but they also hit on every other girl in the group as well. "I didn't have to buy one drink for myself last night." I said.

Juice chuckled, "That many huh?"

"Not really. There were a few but you know me. I accepted their drinks graciously but did not let it go any further." I yawned. I don't know what time we got in but I was exhausted already after only being up for such a short time. "This is where I would rather be." I kissed Juice's chest and nestled closer to him and fell into a deep dreamless sleep with my husband to be and not an imitation of him.

The day had finally come, I was going to marry Juice. We had decided on an outdoor ceremony in the park where we got engaged. The girls and I got ready in a tent that I had rented for the day. I was going to play this shit right and now let Juice see me until I walked down the aisle besides I didn't want to get angry because he was wearing his damn cut and jeans. I spent more than enough money on my dress so I could look good for him on our wedding day, plus that is what I dreamed of while I was growing up. Either way it was our wedding day. We were tying the knot regardless of what either of us were wearing. I was nervous.

Trinity walked out of the part of the tent that we had set aside to get dressed in because some of the Sons were coming in to the tent from time to time. She looked beautiful in her dress, it clung to her curves and showed off her collar bone and one shoulder. She was wearing a pair of black strappy heels to match her dress. "Trin, you look so beautiful!" I sighed. She walked over to me and handed me the necklace that I got each of my bridesmaids for a gift. It was a strand of pearls and matching tear drop pearl earrings.

Happy had decided he was going to set up shop in the tent with us, until Donna and Tara kicked him out because he was making me laugh too much and it was going to ruin my makeup. Before he left he handed me a small bottle of Jameson's and said, "You know Ky, it isn't too late to run. I would love to see that dickhead's face if you didn't walk up there." He laughed as watched him walk out of the tent with a large smile on his face. I opened the bottle of Jameson and took a large drink and passed it to Kerri who was sitting next to me on a chair getting her hair done as well.

"Ladies?" Chibs tentatively walked into the tent. "You almost ready? The crowd is getting restless." All I really had left is to get my vail on and then my dress.

"Already? The wedding is supposed to start for another 15 minutes. This is my day. They can be restless, god knows I paid enough to feed and inebriate all those assholes." I smarted off.

"Aye. You better hurry lass, Juice looks as if he might vomit or run." Chibs smiled at me as he walked back out of the tent. He was wearing a nice white button up shirt and black pants with his cut over the top of it. I felt so grateful that he was willing to walk me down the aisle; like he was my own dad or brother. If he would have said no I would have asked Happy since he had become my brother since I got here. He watched out for me more than any of the other guys well with the exception of Juice.

I got up and walked towards the back of the tent and where my dress was hanging. "Keep an eye on the entrance will you, Donna?" I asked because the changing room was not large enough for two of us and my dress. Tara helped me into my dress. While I was getting into my dress I admired how stunning she looked. She had her hair pulled back in a twists with wisps of it falling free and framing her face. Her makeup looked stunning. Tara laced up the back of my dress pulling tightly on the silk laces. I gasped as she laced me into my dress. "Well I won't be falling out of this dress." I said as I turned around after she finished tying me in. The hair dresser placed my vail on and I was ready to go with 8 minutes to spare.

"I'll go get my da." Kerri smiled at me. She was absolutely gorgeous, she was the spitting image of her mum, Fiona. I would have described her as grace and elegance. She disappeared out of the tent to go get Chibs.

"Does anyone know what happened to that bottle of whiskey?" I asked feeling my nervousness.

"Here." Donna handed me the bottle which was pretty much gone after the first go around. I took a drink out of it and passed it back to her so she could take a drink. She obliged. "God I remember how nervous I was when I married Opie." She bit her lower lip thinking about that day. I smiled at her as I walked over to the mirror to look at myself fully done up.

Who was that girl standing front of me? She exuded confidence and peace not of which I felt. I looked harder at myself. I looked perfect, just how I had imagined I would look for Juice on our wedding day. My hair was in flowing waves over my shoulders and cascading down my back. My makeup made my blue eyes pop out ever more. The wedding dress hugged by body like a glove and accentuated my curves; sexy not skanky I thought to myself.

"Alright lass, you ready?" Chibs grinned at me. He had a black velvet box in his hands. I gave him a confused look. "From Juice." He handed it to me. I gasped when I opened it was an antique looking, blue diamond solitaire necklace, set in silver or platinum but I couldn't tell. "He said something about needing something blue."

"Put it on for me?" I asked him as I lifted up my hair and vail.

"Of course. You look beautiful, love." Chibs put the necklace on and it hung perfectly around my neck. I was pretty sure I would never take it off.

"Alright ladies. Let's get this show over with." I turned to them as they all grabbed their red rose bouquets and walked out the entrance of the tent. I turned to Chibs as we started to walk out of the tent. "Thank you so much for everything." I smiled at him as I linked my arm into his as we stepped out into the sunshine. I couldn't have asked for a better day for a wedding, the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The heat hadn't become oppressive either which was something that made me extremely happy in my dress.

The girls walked up the aisle as we waited off to the side, I couldn't see Juice which made me antsy. I heard some hooting and what not from the guests…why wasn't I surprised by that. The music made a quick change which meant it was our turn to go up that aisle. "You ready?" Chibs asked. "You can still run."

"What is it with you guys asking me if I want to run today? Hell if I wanted to run I would have done it a long time ago. Let's get this thing done with." I said with a wink and smile. We walked towards the aisle where everyone stood up, I looked up to the front and saw Juice. He was wearing a suit. I felt my heart skip a beat and my breathing hitch at the sight of him up there. He smiled broadly at me as I walked up the aisle as if to say 'see I listened.' I bit my lip when reached him. God he look fucking hot. The suit he wore was black, he had on a white button up shirt and black tie. It was funny how I wanted to wear it so badly and now that he was wearing a suit I wanted nothing more than to rip it off of him in passion. I guessed there would always be later that evening. Chibs let go of my arm and handed my hand to Juice and took it into his. His hands were sweaty, nervous is what I guessed. I smiled at him, I was trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. We took our eyes off each other to face the justice of the peace we had hired for the wedding.

"We are gathered here today to bear witness as Juice and Kylee join in marriage." The man whose name was Michael started…as a voice in the audience shouted out…

"We never thought day would come Juicy." Juice and I turned to look at the guests behind us, it was Kozik, one of the Sons from Tacoma. There was a lot of laughter. I smiled but I was rolling my eyes inside. _Shut the fuck up! _I thought to myself.

Michael continued on and united us in marriage. I said my vows to Juice as tears fell down my face. He showed some tenderness in front of the bikers in the guests by wiping them off my face. When Juice said his vows to me and I could hear Happy behind him urging him to say something else. Juice actually turned to Happy and said, "Seriously man, shut the fuck up." As he turned back to me, I cocked my eye brow at him and looked at Happy who was smirking behind him. Mission accomplished I was sure. "Fine. I promise to treat you as good as my leather, and ride you as much as my Harley." Pretty much all the guys who were guests hooted and hollered when he said that. I laughed at him.

Michael cut in, "With the power invested in me by the State of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Juice you may now kiss your bride." He had even finished before Juice had pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It was full of passion and anticipation. We parted to cheers.

I smiled at Juice as we walked down the aisle. I wanted to steal a moment with him alone before we were bombarded by our guests. I pulled him into the tent that I got ready in and pulled him by the lapels of his suit close to me and kissed him. We parted, "hi." I said to him breathlessly.

"You look beautiful." He said to me as he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you. You don't look bad yourself." I touched the front of the suit.

"Mrs. Ortiz, that has a nice ring to it." He smiled at me broadly. "I love you, Kylee and I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else."

"I love you too, Juice. As mushy as this is going to sound but you saved me and I will always be grateful for that." We kissed again but this time we were interrupted by Jax yelling Congratulations to us. We turned to face the whole SAMCRO club as they entered the tent. It was nice to have them all there for just a moment alone before I meet all those new faces that waited for us outside…who waited to eat and drink with us.

"Aye, get a room. There will be more food and drinks for us if you two just leave." Chibs peeped in as he took me into his arms and hugged me. "Congratulations Love." He smiled proudly at me and moved on to Juice.

Happy was next to pull me into his arms, "You know you are stuck with his ugly mug forever now."

"Oh believe me I know." I laughed, "Maybe you shouldn't have given me the bottle of liquor before the wedding…I think it messed with my decision making skills." We laughed as he moved on to Juice. I heard him say something about how he would fuck him up if ever hurt me. As I was being congratulated by Tig and his daughters, Fawn and Dawn.

"Darlin' I am so happy for you guys." Gemma kissed my cheek. I smiled at her.

"You're good for him." Clay hugged me.

It went on like that for about 5 minutes until all of the members of Juice's charter made their way through. We were being rude to the rest of the guests so we exited the tent to great the crowd that had gathered to bid us a good life together.


	19. Chapter 19

All we had were two months of wedded bliss before our world fell apart. We had a wonderful and amazing honeymoon in San Diego. Juice had rented a house off right off of the ocean. I loved the ocean, the smell of salt water and feeling the cool spray off it on my face. We spent the week we were there lying about in the sun and basking in the glory of each other. We even tried to surf, I have to say I was much better at it than Juice was. Probably all my years of boxing and knowing how to keep my center. Sadly our week in San Diego ended and we spent the next week slowly making our way back to Charming, stopping at cities along the way to do sightseeing. I liked having Juice to myself, away from the club. He was carefree, it was something I didn't see very often and something I wanted to see more of. I knew when we got back to Charming it would be back to normal business.

We rode into the lot at Teller-Morrow just as the sun was setting on a Friday night. The clubhouse was already littered with croweaters and friends of the club. I was happy to be home but wished we would have went to our house first. But Juice needed to check in and let them know he was back home.

He got off the bike and held his hand out for me. "Come on, we won't stay long. I want to get you home and wash all that road dirt off of you." He smirked seductively at me.

"Promise?" I grinned at the thought of sudsing up with Juice.

"Oh yeah." He kissed my neck as we started to walk into the club house.

"Get a room!" a voice called out, it was Chibs. "You'd think you would have had enough of each other already." He smiled from the picnic table.

"Hey Chibs." I smiled at him as we walked by.

"Good to have you home sweetheart." He called.

"It's good to be home."

I hadn't forgotten the smell of the club house, cigarette smoke, alcohol and pussy. Not an aroma that hits you nicely when you hadn't been around it for a while. I gagged slightly and gently pulled Juice to the bar. If I had to be there I would have a drink. Rat was working behind the bar, he pushed a darker colored beer towards me.

"Thanks, Rat." I took the beer. "You're a mind reader." I took a long drink of the cool brown liquid. It tasted just like home. I turned and looked at Juice who also had a beer in his hand. "I will let you go about your business so we can go home." I smiled at him as I walked over to the table with the girls.

Come to think about it, that night was the beginning of the troubles. I never got my sudsy rubdown from Juice, he got too involved in club business. I resented it but I knew what I married into. I should have been paying attention to signs, the guys were gone more and more, they seemed to be more on edge when they were home. Happy especially, he was distant and angry. I tried to get him to talk to me but he refused, he shut down. I hated see him that way. I knew something major was up and I knew Gemma knew what it was but she was tight lipped about it. I couldn't get even a hint. Donna and Tara knew something was going on as well but they weren't sure what was up.

Then that day came, my world was about to crash down on me…I was in the kitchen doing dishes when my cell phone rang.

"Ky, you need to come to the club house right away!" It was Tara, she sounded worried.

I didn't question her, I just got in my car and sped down to Teller-Morrow. By the time I got there the place was surrounded by Charming and County police. I parked on the street and ran into the lot. I was in a panic, this was the first time anything like this had happened while I had lived in Charming.

"Juice?!" I yelled as I saw him with most of the sons lying on their stomachs on the ground next to their bikes. I started to run towards them.

"Stop!" One of the cops turned and pointed his gun at me.

I stopped in my tracks staring at Juice who had looked at me when I screamed out his name. I could see the cop's hands shaking, I took that as my opportunity. "You know you aren't going to shoot me." I took a step further from the cop and towards the group of me lying on the ground.

"I said, Stop!" He repeated. His hands were shaking ever harder now but his gun remained aimed in my direction.

I stared at him for a second and then looked over at Juice who was staring down the cop who had his gun pointed at me. He looked like he was close to trying to get up and go after the cop. I turned back to the cop, "Look at your hands shake, do you really think you are ready to shoot an unarmed, _defenseless_ woman?" I held my hands up slightly to show him how "defenseless" I was. His gun remained pointed at me.

"What the fuck are you doing Keith?" A voice came out of the distance and seemed to be closing in. It was David Hale. Thank God saved by the sheriff. "Lower your gun!" He yelled at him as he walked up to us.

"She just stormed in here. She could be armed for all we know."

"She isn't armed, now lower your gun!" He walked up to me and grabbed me by my arm. "What do you think you are doing?" He whispered sternly.

"I was told to get up here so that is what I did. What is going on?" I asked as we walked closer to the club members who I now noticed were all handcuffed with their arms behind their backs. I apart of me shuttered inside seeing Juice laying there on the ground along with the other members. I knew what he was capable but I guess part of me thought he was impervious. Obviously he was not.

David turned to me, "They're going to jail."

"What?" How could they allow this to happen? I could feel my anger, pain and betrayal burning inside of me.

"I can't tell you why. But I can let you say goodbye to Juice if you want." I nodded. "Officer Johnson, please get Mr. Ortiz and bring him here." The police officer nodded and walked over and jerked Juice up from the ground. He looked at him with such anger in his eyes. I am sure he was still reeling from the gun that was just pointed at his wife. Officer Johnson walked him over roughly. I gave him a dirty look when he pushed him towards us. He looked back at me like it was nothing.

_Oh just wait asshole_! I thought to myself. I looked at Juice, "What is going on?" I touched his face, "Are you okay?"

"Trouble with the club? Some bullshit about running guns." He said nonchalantly, as if he wasn't worried about jail time. I think he was trying to be strong for me but it wasn't working. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. "Please don't cry. I'll be fine." Juice pleaded.

"I…I can't help it." I was feeling overwhelmed. I didn't want my husband to be put in jail. I wrapped my arms around him and put my face in his neck. I just wanted him to put his arms around me and tell me it would be okay. I looked up at him and kissed him, not knowing if this would be our last kiss for a while or not. "I love you." I said quietly as we parted tears still pouring down my face.

"I love you too. And I will see you soon." He said with a normal Juice smile but it didn't reach his eyes. He knew more than he was letting on.

"Alright we have to go." Sheriff Hale said as he took Juice lightly be the arm. I kissed him one last time.

"Be safe. I love you so much! Come back to me soon." I said tearfully. Juice just nodded at me as he walked away and got into the back of the truck that would be transporting them to the unknown. I knew where ever they would be going would not be the Charming PD. I looked at the rest of the men that the police were escorting to the truck. Jax, Opie, Chibs, Bobby, and Clay were all joining, Juice. That left Piney, Happy and Tig left to run the club with the prospects, I wondered where they were. I hadn't even realized that I had been joined by Tara and Donna who were also in tears.

_Was this what being married to a Son was all about? _ I thought to myself as the truck and the police cars drove away. I stood there for a little while before walking into the club house. Where Rat and Phil were cleaning up the mess that the police had caused when they rampaged the clubhouse. I walked behind the bar and pulled out a bottle of some sort of liquor, I didn't even care which one it was, I needed to get shit face drunk. I didn't have anyone to go home to like Donna and Tara did. I would go home to the emptiness of my house. While I was on my third glass of the liquor which I found out was scotch, not my typical drink by far, Gemma walked in.

She sat down across from me and took the bottle and poured herself a drink, "How you doin' sweetheart?"

"I don't know…." I looked at my empty glass. Tara and Donna had left about 10 minutes prior to Gemma's arrival. I was happy just sitting in the club house at least there were people around. Tig and Happy still hadn't arrived back from where ever they were. "I think it will really kick in when I get home. I don't want to be alone, I want Juice."

"Sweetheart, we have the best lawyer out there, she will get them out of these bogus charges. If not, you'll become stronger, the first time is always the hardest."

_The first time? There will be more? _ I thought as I nodded. The door to the club house opened and Happy and Tig walked in. Before I knew it was out of my chair and threw myself into Happy. He took me into his arms. "You really pretend to be tough don't you?" He held me out in front of him.

"Do you think he will be okay?" I inquired of him.

"I am sure Juice will be fine, he has all his brothers with him. Plus do you really think any of them would let anything happen to him?"

I shook my head, knowing Chibs would watch over Juice for me. I think they felt differently about him because he had a wife. They watched out for each other a bit better.

"Go sit down with Gemma, I will make you a drink and then make sure you get home." Happy shoved me towards the table I got up from and walked towards the bar. He started mixing a drink for me, I watched and was grateful for his friendship. He put at least 10 different types of liquor into the mixer and finally gave it a good shake and brought it over to the table with a martini glass. "Drink this and you'll forget all your worries and troubles."

I poured the drink it was a bluish color, I held it and said, "Here's to going down the rabbit hole." Happy looked at me like I was speaking a different language. "Alice in Wonderland?" Still the same look, "okay I get it you don't read literary classics." I took a drink and the liquid burned strongly in my stomach and that is pretty much all I remembered until I woke up the next morning with a nasty headache, a need to vomit and an emptiness inside of me.

The guys had been denied bail at their bail hearing, they considered them a flight risk. After dealing with the lawyer, Gemma said was the best in the business and she couldn't even get them out on bail; I started to look for a new lawyer. That got me into trouble with Gemma. I had brought up brining in another lawyer to assist hers to see if there were any loopholes or laws she might have missed. She would hear nothing of it and god forbid I went against the queen. I dropped the issue after I spoke with the lawyer I wanted to bring on the case. He told me that there was too much evidence against the club and that he really didn't think there was anything he could do. My heart broke. That was just a week before the trial.

The day of the trial came, there was no way in hell I was not going. It sounded like they were going to try the guys as a whole but allow them to also be tried individually as well whatever that mean. I wore a billowing gray tank top with flowers made out of the same material of the top, with a gray and white bandage pencil skirt and a black blazer. I pulled my hair up in a messy bun and headed out to meet Donna and Tara. We decided that our men needed our support no matter how hard it would be for us to be there. Gemma told us we didn't need to go which basically meant you should not be at that trial. We knew betraying the "queen" would be hell to pay for us but we didn't care, we owed it to our husbands to be there to support them. As we entered the courthouse I felt sick to my stomach, I ached to see Juice, to touch him, to feel his lips on mine. The club's lawyer and Gemma were standing outside of the courtroom when we got there. Gemma gave us all a stern look.

"I thought I told you that you didn't need to be here." She barked at us

"Yeah well you say a lot of things that we don't think are right. We are here to support our husbands just like you." Tara gave it to her right back. I was pretty sure Gemma's head was going to explode. Things had been tense between Gemma and Tara for a few weeks prior to the guys getting arrested, now they had gotten worse. I looked at Tara who was standing her ground, we all knew that one day she would be queen because Jax would be the one holding the gavel sooner rather than later.

"Ladies, I hate to break up this love fest but the guys should be here any moment and I need to be in there before they arrive." The lady lawyer said as she walked into the courtroom. We followed suit and I unfortunately got stuck next to Gemma but I had Donna on the other side of me. Just as we sat down the guys came in, in shackles and chains. They were a chain gang of brothers in orange jumpsuits. Juice's face was the only one I saw, his eyes burned a hole in my soul. I wanted to jump over the benches and into his arms. He gave me a half smile. Donna let out a gasp when she saw Opie and grasped my hand. I am pretty sure that we held hands the whole trial that day.

The trial went on for three days before the judge came back with a verdict. It was three long days of no sleep and lots of stress but I got to see Juice every one of those days. On the second day of the trial, Donna, Tara and I sat right behind the guys. I just wanted to lean in and smell Juice to enjoy his scent one more time. I refrained from doing it. Day three rolled around and the judge went to adjourn to her chamber and make a decision. The guys couldn't leave the courtroom so we actually got a chance to talk to them. The first thing Juice did was pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It felt so good to be back in his arms again.

"Hello beautiful," he whispered in my ear as he kissed my head.

"I've missed you." I said into his chest. He smelt familiar and like home.

"I've missed you too. I am so glad that you are here." He looked down at me and smiled.

"Gemma didn't want us to come but nothing could keep me away." I felt like I was going to cry but I needed to be strong for Juice.

"Good, you know what I wish we were right now?" He asked me.

"Anywhere but here?" I smiled up at him I didn't want to let go.

"Well yes but at the beach house in San Diego…you in your bikini basking in the sun. The smell of the ocean in your hair." He reminisced with a sly smile on his face as if he knew something about our honeymoon that I didn't know.

It seemed like the judge came back in just as quickly as she left, so I had to let Juice go back to his spot next to Chibs and Jax. She entered with a stern look on her face. I knew after doing some research that the guys could each face up to 15 years in prison. The prosecutor made a decent case but there were holes in it and even I could see that. Time lines didn't match up completely and then some of the guys were not even members when some of the things they were accusing the club of happened.

The judge delivered news that I didn't want to hear, she gave the guys two years in jail with parole at a year if they had good behavior. It didn't set in that I wouldn't have Juice with me for at least a year until I walked out of the courthouse. I collapsed on the ground in sobbed heavily. I would be spending my first year of marriage away from my husband. My heart broke in the deepest way possible.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Two long months had passed since I had to say goodbye to my husband. I hadn't gotten to see him either. The club hadn't been allowed visitors yet due to some incident that happened when they first placed in prison. We had finally been given the okay to go and visit. I couldn't wait to see Juice. Donna and Tara couldn't go because of the kids. I told them I would take them all if they wanted to go and see Jax and Opie but they told me to go. So I offered to take them the next day which was also a visitation day. That was perfect for them. Happy was planning on heading out to see Jax and discuss some club business so he offered to take me with him. I was grateful to have a body with me. I had never been to a prison before, it worried me. I could barely sleep the night before I longed to see Juice and hear his voice. I got dressed in a white cami that I then covered with a black, rust and white flannel shirt that was long enough to cover my butt and a pair of black leggings and tan biker boots. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun knowing it would get messy no matter what because of the bike ride that we were taking to Stockton. Happy showed up just as I had finished getting ready.

"Kylee, are you ready?" He yelled from the doorway. He just walked in without knocking.

"How do you know I wasn't naked?" I called from the bathroom.

I heard him laugh. "It wouldn't be the first time I saw a naked woman, fuck I just left one at the apartment." He call to me. "Plus I know you have been ready since the ass crack of dawn, now let's go woman or you are going to miss your visitation time." I was so appreciative to have Happy around he helped keep me grounded and from going insane.

"Okay so you're right but honestly what if I was? What do you think Juice would say if you saw me au natural?"

"Let's just say you wouldn't be married to him anymore." He joked with me as he pushed me out the door but not before leaving his gun and knife sitting on the table in my entryway.

"Seriously Hap?! Do you think I would let you ravage me? I think not." I laughed at him.

"Woman, you are going to get lonely. Two years is a long time." He teased but I knew there was some seriousness behind it. He was right two years was a long time.

"One year and ten months. And that is what toys are for…B.O.B will be my company if I need it." Okay that was TMI for him but the boy needed to know that I wouldn't cheat on my husband.

Happy shook his head at me as we got on his bike. It has been almost two months since I had been on the back of a bike. It was nice, however it made me miss Juice more though. The ride to Stockton didn't take us very long but it felt like ages for me.

We walked into the prison, where we were pretty much strip searched. I made sure to leave my purse at home and just came as I was. I didn't wear anything that could resemble a weapon. Happy and I were escorted into a room full of tables and men in orange jumpsuits. The officers directed Happy and me to separate tables that were both empty. I was antsy.

"Stop fidgeting." Happy demanded of me. I gave him a dirty look. He didn't know what I was going through, he didn't know how anxious I was to see Juice. Happy gave me one of his death stares back. I resisted my urge to stick my tongue out at him because I didn't know if I would have a tongue after I did that. I sat still and looked at the barred windows that lined the wall. I thought about how hard it would be to be stuck in a prison day in and day out. I heard the door open behind us.

"Hey brother." It was Jax's voice was he walked in and shook hands with Happy. _Wait a minute we can touch_, I thought to myself. I hadn't read through the handbook that I got in the mail the day before our visit. Jax looked over at me and smiled. "Hi Ky."

"Hi Jax." I smiled back at him. All I wanted was to see Juice. It was like they knew what I wanted because he walked in with a guard who undid his handcuffs. His hair had grown out some, you could no longer see his tattoos on the sides of his head. I felt giddy.

Juice walked up to me and took me into his arms. "Hi baby." He said to me with a large smile on his face as we parted.

"Hi," I felt breathless as we sat down across from each other at the table I had just gotten up from. I wanted to sit next him to kiss him…there were plenty of other things I wanted to do with him. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too…you don't know how much I have missed you." He stared at me as if he was taking in that moment into his memory.

"What you mean you don't have a boyfriend? I mean come on even I have moved on." I winked at him.

"Well there is this big black guy who wants me to be his bitch…wait you what?"

"Oh yeah didn't you hear?" I joked.

He gave me a scowling look. "Moved on that easy huh?"

I smiled at him, "Are you jealous?"

"If anyone were to touch you while I was in here I would kill him. But then again I would end up back in here." He said. I looked over at Happy.

"You hear that Hap?!" I laughed.

"Loud and clear little lady." He said back to me. Juice gave me a confused look.

"It's nothing." I shook my head and tried to change the subject, "How have you been? Why has it been so long before we could come and see you guys?"

"Well other than being incarcerated, I am doing well. I miss you like crazy especially when I am in bed alone at night listening to Bobby snore in the bunk below me. But we already have two months down so that is a plus." He smiled. "When we got here we had a little run in with a few guys who had been waiting for us to get in here, revenge or something such thing. We showed them that they shouldn't have fucked with us. God, you're more beautiful than I remembered."

I could feel myself blush, seriously why was I blushing, and Juice was my husband. But I felt like we were just starting to date. I had a feeling of anticipation and joy. The rest of the time that I was there we talked about trivial things like what was going on around Charming and what I knew about what was going on with the club. After a while Jax and Happy came to sit with us, it was nice of them to give us some time alone. Time went quickly because before I knew it was time to leave and the jailers were starting to round up the inmates. I didn't want to leave. It broke my heart to leave Juice in a place so sterile and cold. I took advantage of the jailers not paying attention and launched myself into Juice's arms and kissed him. What I really wanted to do was ravage him right there.

"I love you so very much! I will be here next week." I said as I pulled away from him.

"I'm looking forward to it. I love you too." He kissed the top of my head and walked with Jax towards the jailers.

"Bye Jax." I called after him.

"Bye Kylee. Give Tara and the boys my love." He replied. I nodded in response as I watched them get re-handcuffed and walked through the cold metal door, locking them in. I held it together but I knew I was close to losing it. I was vaguely aware of Happy's presence as we walked out, he didn't say anything; he must have been letting me process everything. Or he hated being inside the jail as much as I did. You couldn't help but feel like you were going to lose your freedom as well.

We reached Happy's bike; he was about to hand me my helmet but instead he embraced me. "You did well today, Ky. You're a good old lady." His sentimentality threw me for a loop.

"Um…"I was at a loss for words, "Thanks." Was all I could come up with as I took my helmet from him, then I got onto his bike and said to him. "Happy Lowman are you getting soft on me?"

He grunted, "Woman…shut the fuck up."

I laughed at him. He was frazzled, "You are." He gave me his killer look, "now there is the guy that I know and love, let's go killer." I beamed at him as he got on to his bike. As I thought more about it, I had connected more with Happy than pretty much any one of the other people in Charming, Juice, Donna and Tara were the only ones that I shared the same bond with. I was so appreciative of their friendships. It was a blessing especially during the dark times we were going through. The club clung to a string, it was hard for Happy, Tig, Piney and the prospects to hold it together while the rest of the members were in jail. They had recruited some other members from other charters to come and help out. Kozik came Tacoma, and Quinn from the Nomads, they were two that I could actually remember, and the others came and went. Either way I stayed out of the club business, it was far too messy and I liked the fact that I could be blissfully ignorant about things while Juice was in jail. Which was something that I was not when he was home, he was completely honest with me about things since the attempted kidnapping.

Time seems to drag by when you want something badly enough. The guys had been in jail for ten months and it was coming up on mine and Juice's one year wedding anniversary. I went to visit Juice weekly but it wasn't the same as having him home. The lady lawyer was working on getting the guys out of jail early on parole. It would have been the perfect one year anniversary present. If she wasn't able to get them out on parole then, I would get to go and visit him at least. She was able to get all of us special visitation once a year. Juice and I had decided to keep ours for our anniversary. At least of all the days we were apart we could spend our wedding anniversary together. We still hadn't heard whether or not the

I was in the garden in the backyard weeding it when I heard my cell phone ring.

"Hello?" I answered my phone well knowing that I had dirt all over my hands.

"Hey Kylee, it's Tig. We need you at the club." That was strange, Tig never called me, my stomach dropped.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him suddenly feeling panicked.

"Um…" he hesitated. "We had a little incident and we need a woman's touch."

I looked at my half weeded garden, "Where is Gemma? Or isn't a croweater available to help?" I didn't understand why they needed me.

"Well…it has something to do with Happy and he is the one who asked for your help." I rolled my eyes. He knew I would come if he mentioned Happy.

"Alright, when do you need me?" I asked.

"Right now, if you could." He said it sounded like there was some urgency in his voice.

"Okay, let me clean up and I will head over." I started to head into the house. I quickly washed up and changed my clothes. I changed into a pair of jeans and a teal v-neck t-shirt and left my house. I was curious about what I was needed for at the club house as I pulled in.

Happy was standing outside as I walked up. "So what was so urgent that you needed me so badly?" I said full of annoyance. "I was enjoying by day by weeding my garden."

"There is an issue with some paperwork with Teller Morrow. We left it in the office for you." He replied.

"What the fuck, Hap! I mean couldn't have you just asked me about it over the phone or called Gemma." I shoved him as I turned to go to the office.

"You know I have killed men for having your attitude." He called after me.

I turned around and started straight at him, I knew he was fucking with me by the stupid grin he had on his face. "Well good thing I am not a man, then." I turned and stomped off towards the office. I heard Happy laughing at me, I flipped him off which seemed to make him laugh harder. I walked into the office and looked at Gemma desk for the paperwork that Happy said was in there and I could not find anything. I stormed out of the office, pissed off that I was being fucked around with. I was not happy at all.

"Happy Lowman…what the fuck is going on? This is not funny…if you needed a laugh on my behalf you could have at least come to my house!" I yelled as I walked towards the table where he was sitting with another person who was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt. I was so angry at Happy at that moment I didn't care if his friend saw me talk back to him. The guy looked up at me and smiled as he got up and started walking towards me. I started to run towards him… "Oh my god, Juice!" I leaped into his arms and instantly kissed him. It was so good to be in his arms. "What are you doing here?" I said against his chest not willing to let him go in case I was dreaming.

"We got out on parole this morning. I was a surprise to all of us." He smiled at me. "God it's good to hold you. I can't wait to get you home."

"So everyone got out?" I asked him

"Yeah, that lawyer of ours really worked a miracle but then again we tried to stay out of trouble when we were in there."

"Oh, that is so wonderful. Do you want to go home now?" I asked him, "Your cut and bike are there."

"It's not my bike or cut that I want right now." He squeezed my ass. "It's been ten months since I have got to take advantage of your beautiful body."

I looked at him, he had a lustful look that made me weak in my knees. It had been too long since we had been together. "Okay let's go home then." I smiled at him. He picked me up and put me over his shoulder, "Juice…" I giggled, "Put me down." He didn't listen to me and he carried me over to my car where he finally set me down next to the passenger side of my car. "Um…I have the keys so doesn't that mean I drive?" I grabbed the keys out of my pocket and dangled them in front of me. He snatched them out of my hand. "Hey!" I pretended to pout. He smiled at me as he walked around the car.

"You drive too slowly and we need to get home fast." He sat down in the car.

"Well some of us abide by the speed limit, thank you very much." I teased as I buckled my seat belt.

"Hey!" Happy yelled into my window startling me.

"Fucker." I yelped. "You just about gave me a heart attack." I smacked at him but he moved away.

"Jax just called. I guess were having a party here tonight. That is if you can get out of bed long enough to come." Happy said.

"Yeah, well be here." Juice said. "What time?"

"Eight or so." Happy hit the top of the car as he walked away.

"You break it you buy it killer." I yelled out the window after him, I heard him laugh. I looked over at Juice who was staring at me and then started to pull out of the club house.

"You guys got close while we were inside." He stated.

"What?" I hadn't thought about mine and Happy's relationship or how it might have changed without having Juice around.

"He would never let a woman speak to him the way you do. I am pretty sure that he would a woman who talked like you do in her place." He noted

"Huh. Maybe he feels bad for me, I mean come on I am married to you." I shoved him slightly.

"Shit, when did you become so lippy? You have been hanging around Happy too much." He smiled at me as we pulled into the drive way. "Ah home."

"Did you just miss the house?" I asked him as we walked into the house. I turned to face him and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"God, I've missed you." He grabbed me around the waist and pushed me up against the wall and kissed me passionately. His tongue teased mine, I moaned against him. He stopped kissing me and stared into my eyes. I was panting with need. "You're so beautiful." He said briefly before grabbing my and pulling me into the bedroom.

Juice took his time undressing me, as if he was savoring every moment. I almost felt like he was teasing me but I knew it was because all had seen was naked men for the last 10 months. When he finally got me into my bra and panties he smiled at me wickedly and started to kiss my neck. I moaned loudly. I missed his touch and how it made me feel. It set me on fire again. I was pretty sure I was going to have an orgasm without having sex. He was still fully clothed. I pulled at the hem of his shirt and lifted it up over his head. He had been working out while he was in prison, his muscles were more defined and I caught a glimpse of the vee in hips. I moved my hands down to his pants. "Someone is getting greedy." Juice's voice was husky with passion.

"Oh like you should talk." I looked down at myself with far less clothing on then he had on. "Now let me relieve you of these pants." I rubbed my hand on the front of his jeans feeling the bulge of his erection. Juice groaned and I put my hand down his pants. "See someone has missed me, I'm not greedy, just willing to please."

After that I pretty much sealed the deal of us having sex. Juice was like a wild animal, I hadn't felt that ravaged by him ever. I was sure he felt the same way about how I was with him. I couldn't be satiated. I would have been happy to revel in his body for days if not weeks. But unfortunately we had the party so we only stayed in bed for a couple hours enjoying each other. It was close to seven when we were roused from our bed. I was hungry, tired and sore in places I didn't know could be sore.

"I am going to shower. Care to join me? I promise to drop the soap." I started to walk out towards the bathroom. Juice gave me a funny look. "What too soon to make prison jokes?" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'll join you and if you drop the soap you'll find out if it's too soon to joke about such things." He teased.

It was good to have him home again; ten months was too long to be apart from him.

**A/N: So while watching the Season 7 Premiere of SOA….I totally just came up with another story about Juice. So after this one is finished I will be starting another.  
What did you all think of the start to Season 7….Its going to be a bloody one. :/**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was blissful to have Juice back home with me. I was actually looking forward to going with him to the SAMCRO party. It has been a while okay almost a year since we had been to one together. I wasn't really looking forward to being around all the porn stars that I would know would be there but thankfully Ima wouldn't be invited…unless Jax was feeling nice about things. Which I doubt he would be but there was always that chance. I showered and decided to curl my hair, I let it fall in waves down my back and over my breasts. I wore a light amount of makeup and put on some cherry red lipstick. I wore a strapless black dress that clung to my curves and a slight amount of cleavage. I walked out of the bedroom and into the living room where Juice was sitting on the arm of the couch looking at his cell phone. He looked up at me as I stopped to put on my cute pair of red heels that were a similar color to my lipstick.

"Oh my god." Was all he said to me before he got up and took me into his arms and kissed me.

"Juice." I pulled myself away from him because I knew if I didn't stop it, we would end up back in the bedroom and not at the party. "We need to go, we can do this later." I smiled at him as I wiped my lipstick off of his lips.

He looked disappointed but started to head out of the house, because he knew I was right. He hadn't shaved his head back into a Mohawk so he had a head full of thick black hair. He looked extremely hot with hair, I would have been happy if he never shaved his head again. He was also wearing his cut which added to his sexiness. I sighed deeply thinking about how happy I was to have him back home. While I was getting ready he had pulled his bike out of the garage where I had it stored. He handed me my helmet with a smile on his face.

"Are you excited to ride?" I asked.

"Yeah, I've missed it almost as much as I have missed you." He smiled as he got on the bike.

"Well I am glad was missed more than your bike." I climbed on the back and wrapped my arms around him. I was immediately taken back to the first time I climbed onto the back of a bike with Juice. I was hit by butterflies, it was a sweet feeling. "You still give me butterflies, after all this time." I said quietly. He turned to look at me with a giant smiled as he kicked his bike to life and sped out of the driveway towards the club house.

When we got to the club house and it looked like the party was just starting to get into the swing of things. I carefully got off the bike and readjusted my dress as I was doing that Juice looked at me with slight shock.

"Are you wearing underwear?" He asked straight out,

I smiled at him cunningly and slowly shook my head, "Surprise….now that will give you something to think about all night." He took my hand into his and kissed it.

"You're going to be the death of me." He said. "We may not make it home before I have to have my way with you again." He slapped my ass hard as we walked towards the club house.

"Welcome back Juice." One of the croweaters waved at him. She was cute petite blonde who had showed up about a month before we got married. She seemed a little too excited to have my husband back. I shot her a warning look as we walked by her. She stepped back with acknowledgment.

"Jealous?" Juice asked as we walked inside.

"Really? No. She just needs to know her place." I looked at him sideways he has a smirk on his face.

"Face it beautiful, you were jealous. I would be if some guy was flirting with you." He stopped me and turned to face me. "Especially with how you are dressed tonight. I would not be okay with that."

"Well you have nothing to be worried about." I said to him as I felt to arms grab me from behind before I knew it was swung around into the arms of Chibs.

"Hello love." He kissed me on the forehead.

"Hi Chibs. It's good to have you back." I smiled at him as I embraced him. He was a sight for sore eyes, I saw him once or twice while I was in visiting Juice. He understood why I didn't visit him often because I wanted to use my visitation time for Juice.

"Tis good to be back." He said loudly as he walked up to the bar and pounded it demanding a drink from the prospect behind the bar. "Get them something too." He barked at him. I could tell that Chibs had been drinking already.

The prospect came back with two beers one for me and Chibs "Hi Kylee." He smiled at me and then turned to Juice. "What would you like?"

"I'll take a beer." Juice then turned to me, "Have you been here enough that he knows what you want to drink? And what is the _Hi Kylee_ about?"

"When I'm helping Gemma, I might come over and have a beer. I got bored while you were away. Jesus now who is jealous…might I remind you about what we just talked about? And I can't help it if he happens to like what he sees." I turned in a circle next to Juice.

The prospect came back with a beer for Juice and passed it over to him. "What's your name?" Juice asked.

The prospect looked nervously at Juice, I could tell he didn't want to fuck things up. "Cook." He finally said.

"Cook, let's get this straight…she is off limits." Juice pointed at me and said his voice full of anger. I swatted at him in annoyance. "You can eye fuck any of the croweaters or porn stars you want but not my wife!"

"Jesus, Juice!" I said as I pulled him away from the bar and looked back at Cook who looked like he might piss his pants…._Sorry_ I mouthed to him and gave him an apologetic look. I couldn't believe Juice. He had never acted like that before, I didn't know where it came from. Maybe just being away for almost a year. He was just so insecure and maybe he needed some reassurance. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the club house. "Come with me." I said as I pulled him into the office of Teller-Morrow, where I knew no one would bother us. I closed and locked the door behind me.

"What is this about?" He asked me with a slight annoyance in his voice. He was pissed that the prospect had a thing for me.

"I wanted to show you that you have nothing to be jealous of, that you have nothing to worry about…" I undid his belt as I stared into his eyes. "That you are the only one I want." I got down on my knees in front of him and started to suck on his dick, instantly his hands went into my hair tugging slight as he slowed my motions down. His cock which was flaccid went instantly to rock hard in my mouth. I loved the power I felt as I sucked harder and heard him moan. I stopped me, I looked up at him; he pulled me up to him. He had fire in his eyes. He pushed me up against the wall (_Which seemed to be his favorite thing to do to me_), hiked up my dress, lifted me up so my legs were around him and rammed himself into me. I whimpered slightly at the force he used. He looked at me for a second and then took possession of my mouth with his as he continued to fuck me into oblivion. I started to orgasm and he followed quickly after me. I liked mad Juice sex. He kissed my shoulder as he pulled out of me and set me on the floor where I felt like I was jelly.

"Thank you." He said to me as he helped me pull my dress back into its proper position. I knew he needed reassurance about our relationship. "Sorry for being a prick." He pulled up his underwear and pants and made sure we were both presentable before we left the office.

"I need you as much as you need me." I said to him as we walked out of the office. "And go easy on the prospect. You should take it as a complement that he has a little crush on me." I looked at him.

"What the hell just happened in there?" Happy's voice came from in front of us. He must have just pulled up on his bike before we walked out. He put his arm around my shoulder.

"None of your business!" I pushed him away as he grabbed my glass of beer and walked away with it. "Asshole." I yelled after him. Before we walked back into the clubhouse I stopped Juice. "Promise me…you be nice to him."

Juice looked annoyed but then finally said to me. "Anything to make you happy." He kissed my forehead. With that we decided to party which went over without incident. It was like old times, with the family back together.

Our one year wedding anniversary came went as well as our second year anniversary that is when we hit our bump in the road. Two years without a major fight, I guess that was a good run. But had I known what this fight would have brought I would have stopped it before it started because it changed the courses of our lives forever. Juice had been on a run with the club for about a week, he got home and he was in a mood that was off.

"Welcome home baby." I smiled at him as he walked in the house. He just walked pasted me and into the bathroom. _No big deal_ I thought to myself it was a rough ride home and he needed some down time. It wasn't the first time that he had a rough run. I was giving him, his space when my phone rang. It was Happy.

"Hey Killer." I answered

"Ky, we need to talk." He sounded serious.

"Talk…" I said as I walked out into the garden.

"Is Juice home yet?"

"Yeah why?" Something was up if he was asking that.

"You need to talk to him."

"Alright. What is this about Hap?"

"Just go and talk to him…NOW!" He demanded and he hung up.

There was a giant knot in my stomach as I walked into the house. Juice was in the kitchen grabbing a beer out of the fridge. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Instantly he removed my arms. _FUCK!_

"Rough run?" I asked him. Juice didn't say anything he kept his back to me. I could see him tense up. I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest, I felt sick to my stomach. "Juice look at me." I whispered. He stood there for a moment and finally turned around. His eyes were full of anger and pain but his face was blank. I had never seen him like that before it scared me.

He glowered at me for a moment, his jaw was clenched tightly; he finally opened his mouth, "Who were you fucking when I was in jail?" His voice was full of fury.

I was so confused, I didn't know where this was coming from. "I wasn't with anyone while you were in jail." I said calmly.

"That's not what I have heard!" he yelled.

"What do you mean you heard? Juice you are the only one I have been with since my brother's funeral."

His nostrils flared as he got more pissed off. "Why the fuck are you lying to me? You pretend to be the perfect old lady but you aren't. I know you and Happy were fucking when I was inside….you probably are still. I see the way you look at each other, so there is no need to lie to me." He yelled.

"What the fuck are you talking about Juice?" I yelled back. "I haven't fucked Happy. Where are you getting your information? It's wrong!" I was fighting back the tears.

"My source is pretty credible!"

"Your source if fucking wrong!" I screamed at him. "I'm not the one who fucked some whore after telling me he loved me!" I couldn't believe that I just threw that in his face.

"Are you seriously fucking saying that?" He roared as he threw his beer bottle across the room, it shattered on the floor next to me.

"Yes I am. It shows that I am obviously the trust worthy one! I never cheated on you and if I would have it wouldn't have been with Happy…he is like my brother!"

Juice walked up to me and got into my face. My heart was pounding, my mind was reeling. "Someone saw you guys together at a party. You fucked him, just fess up and we'll go from there." I could see he just wanted an answer from me that was not the truth.

Tears started to fall down my face, "I haven't had sex with anyone but you, Juice." Juice hit the wall next to my head.

"You're a fucking lying whore!" He yelled in my face.

I pushed him away from me. "Get the fuck out of my house! Go calm down and talk to Happy and to the other fucking people who were not in prison with you! Whoever your reliable source is the fucking liar! I can't believe that you would take someone else's word over your own wife!"

"Fucking whore! I'm sure that you are going to call Happy as soon as I leave so you can fuck!" He stormed out of the house, I stood with my back to the wall in the kitchen until I heard his bike drive away. I collapsed on the floor and cried. I couldn't understand what happened. I didn't know who would lie about something like that and be more credible than me. My heart was broken, I don't know if was the fact that he didn't trust me or if he believed someone over me or the fact that he thought I would actually cheat on him.

I must have cried myself to sleep because I woke up on the floor in the kitchen and it was dark out. I got up and cleaned up the shattered bottle and beer from earlier. I grabbed my phone, there was a text from Happy but nothing from Juice…no 'I'm sorry I was wrong', not even a 'fuck you, stupid whore'. Happy's text was just asking if I was okay and that Juice exploded into the clubhouse and started a fight with him. I couldn't deal with that shit at that point, so I went into the bedroom, put on one of Juice's shirts and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning wishing that the previous day was a dream but it wasn't; especially since Juice's spot in our bed was cold. I rolled over and looked at my phone. Nothing. I got up and showered, which made me feel slightly more human than I did before. I needed to find Juice and talk to him, maybe his mind would be clearer after being away for the night and thinking it through. I knew he would crash at the clubhouse. I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and sad looking. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and got dressed in a pair of jeans, a pink t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops and went to the clubhouse. Juice's bike was parked in the lot along with a few others, obviously he wasn't the only who had spent the night at the clubhouse. I walked into the club house and Phil was behind the bar cleaning.

"Where is he?" I asked him. Phil shrugged as I went past him towards the one apartment that Juice tended to use when he was stuck at the clubhouse. I opened the door and there was my husband ass naked with the blonde, from his homecoming and she was just as naked, snuggled up to him in the bed. I let out a whimper and it must have been just enough to wake Juice up because he looked at me in the doorway. I slammed the door and stumbled down the hallway back out to the main room where Jax, Happy and Opie had just walked in. I ran face first into Jax.

"Whoa sweetheart…"He looked at me I was panicked I needed to get out of there.

"Let me go…let me go." I pushed at him. I didn't want to face Juice if he decided he was going to come after me.

"Kylee what is going on?" Opie grabbed my arm as I started to push my way past them.

"Please let me go!" I pleaded.

Jax and Opie finally parted as I ran out the door I heard Happy say, "Juice thinks Ky and I were fucking, while he was in jail."

"What?" Jax responded to him…

When I got out of the clubhouse, I started to run to my car but my flip flop caught on the ground and I fell. I sat there for a few seconds and sobbed.

"Aye, lass are you okay?" Chibs voice was next to me and he grabbed my arm to help me up.

I stood up and all I could get out was… "I need to go…I can't be here." I couldn't even look at Chibs.

"Kylee?" Chibs responded as I got to my car. When I got home, I locked the doors and fell to the floor and sobbed. How could he do something like that to me? How could Juice betray me? I couldn't stay there, I needed to leave. I couldn't stay in Charming. My heart was broken and I lost trust in the one person in the world that I loved more than myself. I couldn't believe he betrayed me in that way. My world as I knew it had ended. I wiped my eyes and walked into my bedroom and pulled the luggage that I had filled it with my clothes, shoes and sundries. I took off my wedding ring and placed it on Juice's nightstand. It was obviously what he wanted to end things with me. To hurt me and cut me deeply. I took my bags out to my car and went back into the house and grabbed a couple of the bottles of wine I had in the house and a bottle of whisky. I locked the door and left. I didn't have a plan I just had to leave and get away from the heartache that I was feeling.

**A/N: Can you believe Juice?! What an ass. This is not the end …But Juice won't be in the story for a little while. For obvious reasons. I hope you are all enjoying the story. I would love to hear what you think…**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

I drove through the night and finally stopped in Las Vegas, partially because I was running low on gas and partially because it was near an airport. I got a hotel room by the airport; I had made the decision I was going to leave the country. I turned on my computer and booked a first class ticket to Ireland for the next evening. I had a few things to take care of like; finding a place to store my car while I was gone. I crawled into the bed with a bottle of whisky and eventually fell sleep after drinking away the pain of the day. I was awoken by my phone ringing; I looked at my phone it was Juice. I hit ignore and put my phone on silence. I couldn't deal with him, I was sure that at point he had realized what he had done. And how wrong he really was. He destroyed us.

I eventually fell back to sleep and awoke when the sun was just starting to rise over the Nevada desert and the Las Vegas Strip. I had a headache from the whisky that filled the emptiness and pain in my heart. I finally pulled myself out of bed and showered. I felt so numb; I didn't want to believe that Juice would have done something like cheat on me. I couldn't believe I had the strength to just walk away, I wondered if it was because I was subconsciously afraid I would take the path my father took, by killing him. My heart was broken and my mind so confused and messed up.

I grabbed my phone to call Trinity but when I looked at it my heart dropped. I had 20 missed calls. All of them but one was from Juice, the one that wasn't was from Happy. I didn't have the heart to listen to the voice messages that accompanied the calls. I decided to send a text to Happy.

_I'm alive and safe. I am leaving tonight to go to Dublin. I need space. _

~ _Let me know when you get there. _

_Okay. Thanks for checking in Hap._

My day went quickly which was good for me, it helped me keep my mind off of Juice and the slut. I was looking forward to getting to Dublin and putting as much space between me and California as possible. I rented a storage unit for my car, knowing that one day I would return to the US and would want my car. I caught a cab to McCarren International Airport to jump over the pond to Ireland. My flight was expected in Dublin the following day at 6 pm their time. I had an hour layover in Newark, New Jersey so I took advantage of not having to pay for international rates and called Happy. It took him two rings to answer.

"You are not calling to tell me you are already in Ireland, are you?"

"No. I have a layover in Newark, I thought I would call before I was out of the country." I said sadly as I sat on the floor near a window overlooking the tarmac. I pulled my knees up to my chest hoping it would keep me from crumbling into a million pieces while I talked to Happy.

"How many times has he called?" It was like Happy could read my mind.

"Um…counting today? Around 40 times. I can't bring myself to answer the phone." Tears started to flow from my eyes. "He hurt me so badly. It would have been better if he would have just stabbed me in the heart because that wouldn't have hurt as bad as this does." I was on the verge of sobbing.

"Well he got what was coming to him. He won't be able to open his eyes for a few days."

"Did you kick his ass, Happy?" I asked thinking sadly about Juice.

"It wasn't me, it was Chibs. I am pretty sure that he is taking this harder than anyone, well maybe other than you. We had to pull him off Juice, I think he would have killed him."

"And the whore?" I asked quietly. I know Chibs was the one who saw me as broken as I had ever been. At the point when I realized that my life as I knew it was over.

"She was gone before we could do anything about it and Juice won't tell us who it was."I wanted her to pay for what she did.

"It was the petite blonde that was too interested in him. The one that Tig and Bobby tapped a few weeks ago. The one that showed up just before the guys went to jail."

"Stacee_?"_

"I don't fucking know her name." My voice was full of anger.

"Yeah, I think that is her name. Jax might know. We'll get to the bottom of it, sounds like she was the one who gave Juice the information about us. He's a fucking idiot you know that right? To let you go."

"Thanks, Happy." My flight had just been announced for boarding over the intercom system. "I have to go my flight is boarding. I'll send you a text when I get to Dublin."

"Let me know if you need anything, Kylee. Come back home soon_." _He sounded somewhat sad on the other line.

"When I come back you'll be the first one to know. Bye, Killer."

"Take care, Ky."

Talking to Happy made me even more upset. How could I just leave them? Juice wasn't the only one that I left behind. I left Tara and Donna as well as Chibs and Happy. They all cared for me as much as I cared for them. Was what I was doing selfish or would it prove to be healing for me? My guess is that I would find out when I got to Dublin. I settled into my seat in the airplane, and sent a text to Donna and Tara.

_I love you guys so very much. I am sorry I left without a goodbye but I needed to get away before I ran into Juice. I'm going to miss you and I will let you know when I decide to come back to the US. _

At that I turned off my phone and prepared for the long flight to my next chapter in life.

When we touched down in Dublin, I felt slightly better but I knew after a few days the reality of everything would come rushing back to me like a thousand pound truck. But at that point I would take it one day at a time. I took a taxi to City Centre where my hotel was located. They dropped me by River Liffey and I walked the remainder of the three blocks to my hotel. I checked in and left my bags in my room and decided to go out and get a drink. I walked to the Temple Bar area where I stopped at the first pub that had loud music coming from it so I could drowned out my thoughts, they were too loud and I had been alone with them far too long. I downed three pints of beer and maybe a shot or two; my lack of eating food hit me hard. I was semi-tipsy when I walked out of the pub. I was happy that I knew exactly where I was going on my walk back to the hotel. I would have been lost if not. While was wandering slowly back to the hotel my cell phone rang. I didn't think anything about looking at the caller id when I answered it.

"Hello?" I answered with a slight slur.

"Ky?" It was Juice.

I didn't know what to do. I should have hung up on him but I didn't. I also didn't say anything. I stopped and sat on a bench next to the Molly Malone statue._ Stupid tart_. I thought to myself about the statue. _You were probably the reason for many a marriages being destroyed._

"Are you there?" He asked quietly, his voice was oozing with remorse.

I nodded as if he could hear me.

"Ky…I am so sorry. I was a fucking idiot for not believing you but the thought of you with someone other than me, made me crazy and irrational. Can we meet and talk?"

I felt the tears running down my cheeks. I wanted to forgive him but I didn't have in me because every time I pictured him, I saw him with the croweater. I let out a little laugh when he asked if we could meet. "No, we can't meet." Which was the truth but I didn't want to see him.

"Please, just let me come over for a few minutes." He pleaded.

"I'm not in Charming, Juice." His name made my heart drop.

"What? Where are you?" He questioned. Obviously he had not been home.

"I left. I'm not planning on coming back either." I let out a small sob as I sat on the street in Dublin where I had so many happy memories it held before, now I added sad ones.

"Kylee, please I am so sorry. I love you." His voice was pleading and painfully so.

"You should have thought about what you were doing before you fucked that whore. Before you listened to someone who had no clue about anything or wanted to destroy us. If you loved me as much as you say you did you wouldn't have put us in the place. I can't face you right now, I don't know if I will ever be able to again. You killed us. Goodbye, Juice" I said as I hung up on him. I made it back to my hotel before I lost my shit. I sobbed, hard body raking sobs. I was wore out emotionally and physically. I had just said goodbye to the man I would have laid my life down for, the man who saved me from a life that I would have ultimately die from. The man who killed for me. The man who made me happy for almost three years of my life. Which seemed like a life time ago when we walked into each other's lives.

I didn't move from my bed for several days until there was a loud knock at my hotel door. I only got up to use the bathroom and then went back to bed. I glance at the door but didn't get up. Another knock but this time there was a voice that came from the other side of it.

"Kylee, let us in!" It was Trinity and I could only assume that the other was Kerri. I got up and walked to the door, opened it and then got back into bed. Trinity walked over to my bed where I was now under the covers. She touched my face, "Oh love." She said sadly. I looked up at her and started to cry. Kerrianne crawled into bed on the other side of me and hugged me tightly as another round of sobs came over me. I cried myself to sleep and awoke to Trinity's phone ringing.

"Hello?" She answered. "Aye, we just got here….I have never seen her like this before Jax. Not even when she lost the baby….she is safe but she looks like shit…I really hope that you guys beat the shit of out Juice…and that fucking slut he was with."

"Can I talk to him?" I said quietly. Trinity nodded.

"Hold on Jax…" she handed the phone to me.

"Jax?" I said into the phone.

"Fuck Kylee…are you okay?"

"I'm alive. Will you let Tara know that I miss her?"

"Hold on…" I heard him mumbling in background. He must have been home.

"Kylee!" Tara's voice on the other line made my heart jolt.

"Tell me they found her and someone hurt her." I said despondently.

"Actually she had the audacity to show her face at a party and try to put the moves on Juice. I couldn't believe her. I told her to get the fuck out and when she didn't I beat the shit out of her. We actually got it out of her that her and another croweater who wanted Juice too started the rumor about you and Happy. Juice just about lost it. I had never seen him that angry before; I don't know if it was because he was so angry at her or if it was because he finally realized that he ruined everything with you."

"You're a good friend. I am sorry I cannot be that right now. I don't think I have anything to give to anyone else let alone myself. I do have to say I feel selfish for leaving without saying goodbye to you guys."

"You are not a bad friend, Ky. You needed to do what felt right to you, if that was to leave Juice then that is what you needed to do. I don't blame you for leaving. I just hope that you come back soon. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Give Chibs and Happy my love." I said softly as I handed the phone back to Trinity. I wondered if Juice realized how many lives his decisions affected. I went back to sleep after the phone conversation with Tara. 

Trinity and Kerrianne didn't let me wallow in my misery very long. They made me shower and get moving again. How can one live with no reasons to live? I would think to myself. It took me more than a few months to get through my initial depression. Kerri and Trinity never left me. They proved that their friendship was the largest blessing in my life. I didn't know what I would do without them during the tough time in my life. When I was "strong" enough I decided it was time to leave Dublin; where instead of staying in a hotel, I had rented a flat after several weeks. I subleased it to a few girls who were going to college and needed a cheaper place to live. I took to the rails at that point. I was alone but it was nice, I felt like a burden to Trinity and Kerrianne even though they insisted I was not. It was time to get out on my own. I traveled throughout Europe, enjoying the Swiss Alps, the tunnels in Paris and the green vineyards in Italy. I ended my travels in Northern Ireland.

I was sitting in Trinity and Maureen's flat one day looking at different flights to and from Belfast and the one that called my name was to Las Vegas. I felt the call to go back stateside. I walked down to the store where I had been helping out. Trinity was bagging up one of the local's groceries.

"I am going to go home." I announced. Trinity stopped what she was doing instantly and turned to look at me. "I am serious."

"Do you think that, that is a good idea?" She asked me.

"Trin, it's been a year. I'll be fine. It's not like I am going to go to Charming." I wasn't ready for that yet. I wanted to be in the sunshine again, I wanted to feel the heat of the desert.

"If you are sure you want to do that then I will support you." She smiled softly at me. "When are you leaving?"

"I can get a flight out of Belfast tomorrow morning." I said to her.

"That is so soon." I could see the sadness in her eyes. She and I had grown so much closer since everything had went down with Juice and moving back to Ireland.

"I know, but I am getting stir crazy. This rain isn't helping any you know." Truth be told I was tired for running, I needed to settle back down and I knew that Belfast was not the place I wanted to be. I missed my crazy fucked up biker family in Charming. I just wanted to be close to them. I was going to choose somewhere close to them but far enough away where I wouldn't see Juice. That wound was still too deep to heal.

"Alright if you think that is what you need I will support you. I will miss you, it has been so lovely having you back here, especially with you not having someone controlling you." She finished bagging the groceries and handed them to the woman waiting on the other side of the counter. Trin walked around the counter and came to hug me.

When I was the Belfast airport waiting for my plane I decided I needed a change in my looks. I walked into one of the overpriced airport hair salons and asked them to cut my hair. I watched as all my beautiful locks of hair fell to the ground as the stylist cut my hair into a beautiful bob and added some golden highlights to my brown hair. I loved it. It was just what I needed. As I stood there to pay for my haircut and color I looked over at myself in the mirror. I could see what a toll the year had taken on me. My cheek bones were more pronounced and my clothing hung on my body when they used to cling to my curves and hug my body. The muscles that I had built up boxing and working out in the gym were now non-existent. I bit my lower lip as I started at the stranger in the mirror.

"Miss?" The stylist called out to me. I hadn't realized that it was my turn.

"Oh, Im sorry." I said as I got up to the register.

"Do you not like your hair?" She asked me.

"Oh, I love my hair. I was just admiring it." I lied, well I did love my hair but I wasn't admiring it. "Thank you." I handed over the remainder of my Pounds to her.

"Thank you, have a safe trip home." She smiled at me as I walked out of the salon.

I glanced up at the clock and I still had a little over an hour before I had to be to my gate to leave. I pulled my cell phone out of my carry-on bag and dialed Happy's number. I hadn't talked to him in at least six months. He didn't push the issue that I call him. He just let me have my space as long as I sent him a text every once and a while letting him know I was okay.

"Hello?" His voice was gruff on the other line. I hadn't thought about it but it was 5 am in Charming.

"Hi, Killer." I was so glad to hear his voice.

"Kylee?" I heard him adjust in bed.

"Yeah, I wanted to call and let you know I was on my way back stateside."

"What? When?" He asked…I heard a woman's voice in the background, I could tell he put his hand over the mouth piece of his phone. I could hear what he was saying but it was muffled. "I don't care if I woke you up. Get the fuck out! I said get the fuck out get dressed in the hall." He came back onto the phone, "Sorry about that Ky."

I snickered a bit at him. "It's fine. Good party last night?" I asked

"It was okay, we patched in a few new members so why not celebrate? So when are you coming home?"

"I will be landing in Las Vegas in 15 hours if everything goes well." I hadn't really thought about what I would do when I got back to the states. I knew I wanted to be close enough to Charming to be able to drive there within a day if need be.

"Nice. I'll meet you there." He offered.

"I would like that Happy. Please don't let Juice know that I am coming back." I said to him.

"I wouldn't think of telling that shit head anything."

"Is there still bad blood between you two?" I asked him, I couldn't think that after a year there would still be such hard feeling between them.

"No, just think he's a fucking moron for messing things up with you…" He was going to say something else but he stopped himself.

"Happy…its fine you can tell me."

"I was going to say that the bitch he is seeing right now has nothing on you."

My breathing hitched at the thought of Juice actually being with woman. I wanted him to be as broken as I felt. Truth be told I still cried myself to sleep every night.

"Ky? Are you crying?" Happy asked me.

"I'm not crying. It is what it is, right? I mean I am the one who left him." I disappointment oozed out of my voice.

"Well I should let you go, so you can catch your plane and come home to us." He sounded happy, not like his name but like a person who was actually looking forward to seeing me.

"Alright Killer. I'll see you in a few hours." For the first time in a year I was looking forward to going back to the US and into the arms of my family.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I walked off the airplane and into the terminal; I felt out of place instantly. There was too much hustle and bustle compared the laid back life I was living in Europe. I never felt rushed to get anywhere when I had been living in Belfast and Dublin. American accents felt harsh and out of place to me. I had easily picked back some of my Irish accent while I was there. I started to regret my decision to move back stateside, there was not the chance that I could run in to Juice. I took a deep breath as I got closer to the baggage claim. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know who would be here waiting for me. One thing was sure Happy would be there or he said he would. I walked through the doorway leading to the claim there were people waiting for their loves ones. There were smiles, embraces and the occasional kisses from lovers. Who or what waited for me was yet be seen. I walked up the carousal to get my luggage not seeing a familiar face peering thought the crowd for me. I collected all my luggage, disappointment was hitting me. I was wondering if Happy was even going to show up. I turned around and looked around sadly at all the joyful people when I saw two familiar faces staring at me.

I dropped my luggage and ran to them, "Happy!" I launched myself into his arms. He picked me up and swung me around.

"Hi, Ky. Welcome home." He said as he put me back to the ground. "You cut your hair." He touched the ends of my hair.

"Yeah." I touched it trying to decide if it was an impulse decision to do it or if it was really something that I needed to do. I looked over at the other person staring at me intently. "Hi Chibs." I embraced him tightly.

"Welcome home lass." He kissed my head. "You've lost weight." He said sadly as he held me out in front of him.

"Yeah well the last year hasn't been too good on me." I frowned. "But let's not talk about that right now. How have you two been?"

"Better now that you are back home." Chibs smiled at me. "How are my other girls?" He put his arm around me as we walked back to get my luggage.

"Fi and Kerri are both doing well and they send their love." They missed him as much as I did but probably more since they are really his family. I sighed deeply thinking about I didn't really have an actual family anymore. It instantly made me sad, I shook it off and shoved that sad feeling deep within in my soul; I would cry it out later. "Let's go get a drink!" I suggested.

"Well there's the girl we know." Happy smiled at me.

"Yeah she's here somewhere." I mumbled.

"What?" Happy asked.

"Nothing, let's go, I'll let you buy me a drink killer." Happy nodded at me.

We went to dinner at a dive bar near the airport, the food was, well the food was greasy but the beer hit the spot. I needed one after being on a plane for pretty much 14 hours straight. We decided to stay at the hotel where I had stayed after I found Juice with the croweater. My heart immediately felt the ache that it had that first night away from Charming when we walked through the doors. I think that Happy sensed it, Chibs might have but he had a few too many drinks at the dive bar. We sent him to bed and we sat in the hotel bar. Happy had to take a phone call and left me sitting in the booth by myself. I sat there swirling my whisky in the cup. I couldn't get Juice off my mind, I could I still care so much about him after everything he had put me through. It seemed to me he had moved on, so I should too. Happy sat back down at the table. I could feel his eyes on me; I was still staring at my whisky.

"What's on your mind sweetheart?" Happy's gruff voice called out to me.

I looked up at him and sighed, "I shouldn't have come back. I'm not ready to be here."

His eyes were full of concern, "why would you say that?"

"How is he? Does he even miss me?" I couldn't bring myself to say Juice's name, it hurt too much.

Happy moved to my side of the booth. "Of course he misses you, if he doesn't he is a fucking asshole. Do you really want to know how he is?"

"He acts like nothing happened. Like I never existed?" I knew how men worked in some part because I was raised by Kip.

Happy took a deep breath and seemed to debate whether he was going to tell me. "He puts on a good face. But the way he goes through croweaters, there is something missing in his life. Namely…you." I knew he promptly regretted telling me that. "This last one he has been with has lasted the longest at a few weeks. She has dug her claws into him."

I downed my whisky and pushed at him to get out the booth. I was dangerously close to tears and I didn't want him to see me cry. "I am getting tired. I should really get some sleep." I started to walk towards the elevator to my room.

"Kylee, let me at least walk you to your room." Happy called after me. I stopped and waited for him. We walked to my room in silence, that was one of the best things about Happy is I didn't feel pressured to talk.

"Thanks for the drinks, Happy." I kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you in the morning." I walked through my doorway and closed it putting my back to it and sliding down against it and I started to cry. I felt just as broken as I did the day I found Juice with the whore. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest again.

There was a quiet knock on my door, "Ky?" The voice on the other side was Happy. "Let me in, woman." He demanded. I knew if I didn't let him in he would break down the door, I didn't need to pay for a hotel door; so stood up and let him in. He took me into his arms as soon as he was through the door. I sobbed into his chest, it was the first time that I let anyone other than Kerri and Trinity know how hurt I really was. "Shhh. You're okay." He rubbed my head. It was a while before I was able to control my feelings enough to stop sobbing.

"Does the pain ever stop? I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest each and every moment of the day. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what he did to me."

"You do realize, who you are talking to right?!" Happy smirked at me, "I have never been in love, no time for it. You need to make your heart like stone, then no one can hurt you and you can get though anything."

"Is that what you do Happy?" I asked him calmly.

"Fuck yeah." He smiled, "You should get some sleep." He finally let me out of his embrace. I nodded my head as I grabbed a t-shirt and yoga pants out of my bag and changed in the bathroom. I came out of the bathroom to find Happy lounged on my bed watching TV. I must have taken a while, time meant nothing to me anymore. I smiled slightly as I stood in the doorway of the bathroom and watched Happy watching TV, he was still such a boy in ways. He got up as I walked over and got into bed. He tucked me in, kissed my forehead and started to walk out of the room. I didn't want him to go, I needed that tiny piece of Charming…of Juice to be near me.

"Happy?" he stopped in the doorway, "Can you stay with me?" He looked at me with disbelief, I knew exactly what was going through his head. "Killer, I am not looking to have sex…I just want to have a warm body next to me." He smirked and started to take off his clothes. "Happy I was serious!" I yelped. I hadn't seen a naked man in a little over a year and I hadn't shared a bed with a man in just about that long as well. My heart was pounding in my chest as he crossed the room in his boxers. _Oh ahold of yourself Kylee, he is just going to lay next to you._ I thought to myself. Happy climbed into bed into bed next to me; I turned over and laid my head on his bare chest, he didn't smell right. Okay, he smelt just fine actually he smelt nice but he didn't smell like Juice.

He pulled me closer to him and rubbed my back, as I was dozing off I heard him mumble, "He was fucking stupid for letting you go."

I slept the best I had slept in over a year. It woke up feeling refreshed and ready to start my day. I was still clinging to Happy, I tried to get out of the bed without waking him. I tried to move from under his arm and he pulled me tighter to him. "You know you talk in your sleep." He said without opening his eyes.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly did I saw while I was sleeping." I asked because I was curious.

"You were talking about Juice and then thanked me for staying with you, said something about me being a good pillow." He opened his eyes and looked at me.

I hadn't realized that I actually dreamed about Juice, thankfully I didn't remember it. I couldn't believe he was with me even when I was sleeping. I guess that explained why I tended to not sleep well most nights. I often woke up in a panic or extremely sad. I leaned up on my elbow, "Does that make you jealous killer?" I teased.

"Nah, I mean I am the one who is in bed with you." He smirked as he tried to reach around to my ass.

"Hey now keep your hands to yourself. No getting all handsy with me." I swatted his hand away playfully.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" He tried again.

I raised my eye brow at him. "Do you forget how I beat the shit out of Ima twice might I had or shot Jonah?"

He laughed at me. "How could I forget, you are one hell of a shot. I think that Juice might have forgotten about that."

I shrugged as I struggled away from him, "I need to shower. I stink like airplane and boy." He let go of me.

"Want to go for a ride today?" He asked me.

"Um." I was digging in my bag trying to find my bathroom stuff. I did want to go for a ride. "Actually that would be nice." I turned and looked at him. He smiled as he got out of bed.

"I'm going to head to my room before Chibs thinks something happened between us. Meet us down stairs for breakfast in a half hour?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be there." I waved him out of the room.

It was things fell into place for us. We hadn't missed a beat however he did treat me with a bit more tenderness. I don't think that Happy had ever just stayed in the same bed with a woman without having sex with her or receiving some sort of sexual favor from her. Was it wrong of me to feel like I had cheated on Juice? I felt stupid for feeling that way. It wasn't like he was thinking about my feelings when he stuck his dick into a croweater. That was the day that I decided to do things for myself and to push Juice out of my heart. Becoming as hard as stone.

When I got out of the shower I stared at body in the mirror. I was extremely thin, I hardly ate and when I did I picked at it like a bird. I didn't love myself anymore and that needed to change. I didn't need a man around to show me how much of a value I was to the world. I couldn't figure out when I needed someone to give me self-esteem. I could face this world on my own. I didn't need Juice as much as it pained me to let him go, I was going to do what I needed to for myself and go from there. From that day forward I would love me for being the person I was and not what love I had from a man. It wasn't my fault he was a fucking idiot who took the easy way out of our relationship. Granted I could have stayed and fought for him, but what was the point he betrayed everything we had built together, it destroyed anything good he might have done for me. And face it if he really wanted me he would have found a way to find me. I knew what could do with a computer. With that new realization I got dressed and went down for breakfast with Happy and Chibs.

"Hi guys!" I smiled at them as I sat down next to Happy in the booth. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Long enough to already have a cup of coffee down lass." Chibs looked from me to Happy. "So what were you two up to last night?"

"How do you know we were up to something?" I raised my eyebrows at Chibs.

"I know everything." Chibs took a sip of his coffee.

"Can I get you something to drink?" The waitress asked me as she looked cautiously at Chibs and Happy. I didn't blame her, she was so young and innocent looking and well Chibs with his scars could be scary enough but then you add in Happy who had a scowl across his face most of the time, I knew better.

"I will have a mimosa and I am ready to order food too!" I looked at her.

"Oh, okay." She grabbed her pen out of her apron, "what can I get you?"

"I will have a short stack of pancakes, two eggs sunny side up and turkey bacon." Chibs and Happy both looked at me. "What? I'm hungry." I shrugged. The guys ordered their food.

"Ack, now I know something happened between you two. Last night you barely touched your salad and today you are eating enough for a man."

I laughed at Chibs it felt good to laugh that way. "Chibs nothing happened. I just realized that I am not valued by how much someone loves me. That I shouldn't put value on myself by the way a man treats me. It took me a long time to realize it but I promise I am on the up and up now."

While we were eating our breakfast when Chibs' phone rang. "Yeah? … She looks like shite but she seems like she is on the right path…aye. Okay boss, okay I don't know but I will ask…Jax wants to know if he should batten down the hatches for Hurricane Kylee."

I choked on my food… "Is that what you guys refer to me as?" I shook my head. "No, I won't be going back to Charming anytime soon. You can tell him all croweaters and Juice are safe, for now." I rolled my eyes at the thought of me going storming into Charming. Maybe one day. We all laughed.

"Nah, Jax no need to secure your valuables, guns or anything of the sort… I do not know that…alright brother. I'll be heading out after breakfast. Cheers." Chibs hung his phone up.

"You're going home?" I asked Chibs.

"Aye, lass. I needed to make sure that you were okay but now it's back to club business for me." He looked at me like a father would look at his daughter.

"What about you?" I shoved Happy.

"Nah, I think I am going to hang around and annoy the shit out of you for a few days. It's been far too long." He messed up my hair. I swatted him away and smoothed down my hair. It was like he knew I didn't necessarily want him to go yet, he saw me at my breaking point last night. I was sure he was worried about me. I needed to show him I was going to be fine.

"So love where do you think you are going to stay?" Chibs asked me.

"Huh…I haven't really thought about that. Somewhere in California close enough to Charming that if I really needed to visit I could or you guys could visit but far enough away that I wouldn't just randomly run into Juice." I sighed, "Any ideas?"

"Somewhere off of highway 5. You would be on route to Rogue River and Tacoma." Happy was very matter of fact.

"Okay. I will check a map today and see if there is a town that jumps out at me, I don't want to live in 'Sin City' for too long." I took my last bite of food, if I kept eating like I was and got to the gym I would be back to my old self in no time. I needed to be sure that the town I moved to had a gym. Or I could put one in my basement if my house had one of those.

When breakfast was finished we all walked out to where the bikes were parked. I hugged Chibs goodbye and promised that I wouldn't be a stranger, or more like I promised to invite him to my new house when I got into it. We both knew the truth, I was just not ready to visit Charming yet. I waved Chibs off and told him to say hi to Donna and Tara for me and to give them both big hugs from me. He said he would do it right in front of Juice. I shook my head knowing he would do that even if I told him not to so I didn't say anything. Happy handed me his helmet when Chibs was out of view. I smiled at him broadly. I couldn't wait to climb on the back of his bike. He climbed on and I followed suit and put my arms around him. A slight twinge of pain ached in my chest as I thought about Juice. I needed to stop thinking about him and focus on the present. As soon as Happy kicked his motorcycle to life I forgot about Juice and held on for my life.

We got back to the hotel and the sun was just about to set, we really had made a day of riding around in Nevada. We even made a trip to bring my car back to the hotel. I may have had an issue with driving on the proper side of the road, it was obvious I was in Northern Ireland for too long.

"Thanks for the ride Hap." I smiled at him as I handed back his helmet.

"Anytime Ky." He patted me on the head as we walked into the hotel.

"Hey Killer?" I turned to him before we reached the front desk. "Would you mind staying with me again tonight? I haven't slept that well in a year."

"You going to put out?" Happy teased.

I laughed at him, "I'm cramping your style aren't I?"

"More than you know woman." He said as he walked up to the front desk to check out of his room.

We stayed in Vegas for only two more days, I found a where there was a cute little house for sale and it was only about two and a half hours from Charming and right on the route that SAMCRO took to Tacoma. Happy spend the week I moved in helping me get unpacked and settled in before he head back to Charming. He got a phone call from Chibs telling him that he mentioned me around Juice and he said that Juice stormed out of the club house but then asked if I was okay later. Chibs told him the truth about how I was doing. Truth was I was feeling much better and ready to move on with my life without him.

"I am going to miss you, Killer." I stood next his bike the day he went back to Charming.

"You could always come home." He knew what sort of hell I would raise if I was there.

"Ha, ha, that is so funny." I moaned.

"Well can't say I didn't try." He grinned at me.

I knew I was going to be lonely without Happy around my house. He was a complete softy around me. I couldn't believe it, how could I have wormed my way into his hard stone cold heart?

"I'll see you soon, Killer." I hugged him and he kissed the top of my head.

"See you soon Ky," Happy said as he got on his bike and drove away.

I was alone for the first time in weeks.

**A/N: Thanks again for all your support and those of you who left comments. Please feel free to leave me more, it makes me want to write more. **** What do you think about Happy being a softy when he is with Kylee? I am looking forward to the next few chapters. **** There might be a meeting with Juice soon. **


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

My first few weeks in Red Bluffs were hard, I was alone and I didn't know anyone. I was just so use to knowing people where I lived. The last time that I moved somewhere I didn't know people was when I started college in Dublin. But even then I made friends quickly because I had roommates. In a town with a little over 14,000 people, most were well established family and not newbies like me. I found out the house that I bought was owned by the same couple their whole lives together; their children recently moved them closer to them in San Francisco. It was nice to live in a house where there was so much love. I ended up just building a gym in my basement, I still went out running every day. There was a lovely park near my house that I would run in every morning. I was slowly getting my musculature back. One early afternoon when I was out on a run, Happy called me.

"Hi." I said breathlessly.

"Who are you fucking?" I could hear him smiling into the phone.

"You're kidding me right?" I replied still trying to catch my breath.

He laughed into the phone, "So I may have told Juice that you are dead."

_What the fuck did he do? _I thought to myself. "You might have or you did?"

"I did. He kept asking me how you were doing…fucker was asking daily! I finally told him before he asked me how you were that you took your own life overnight."

"Oh my GOD, Happy! You know he is going to figure it out especially when my body doesn't come back to Charming, plus you know he has mad computer skills. Urg, telling someone that someone else is dead by their own hand even is not cool! " I was trying to comprehend why he did such a horrible thing when his voice rang over the phone…

"Do you want to know how he took it?"

"Um…" I paused I did want to know how he took it? I wanted to know if he still cared for me but then again it could be as if I didn't exist in his world any more. But then again maybe I didn't want to know the answer, was ignorance really bliss?

"You know you want to hear what I am going to tell you." He teased me.

"Okay, fine tell me what he said because my heart rate is getting low and I need to start running again." I smarted off to him.

"Well…" Happy took his time knowing he was annoying me.

"Stop being such a pain in my ass." I said annoyingly into the phone.

"He went off the deep end Kylee." He paused to wait to hear my reaction but I didn't give him that satisfaction he wanted. Happy then continued on, "He sat down at the bar and started to cry. Such a pussy. He asked why you did it and if there was a note. I told him I didn't know anything else…no need to build an elaborate lie, just enough to hurt him." I knew he was smiling one of his evil killer smiles on the other side of the phone. Or I imagined he was. I guess it was good to know that he could still be hurt by the mention of me. It meant he wasn't heartless.

"Huh." Was all that I could think of saying in response to Juice's reaction. "Is that the only reason you called Killer? I mean it was nice of you to call and tell me about my death before I got the phone call from someone else telling me I was dead." I could feel my heart rate dropping and I was antsy to get running again.

"Actually no. Jax, Opie and I are going on a run to Tacoma at the end of the week and will be coming back down, care for some visitors? I assume you have you place all set up and ready to accept road weary travelers."

I laughed loudly. "Road weary travelers my ass." I shook my head thinking of them being weary, that was not their style. "Since when are bad ass bikers weary?"

"Point taken. So I'll call you when we plan on heading out from Tacoma." He said gruffly.

I smiled thinking about having visitors. "Alright. Oh wait I start my new job next week."

"Why did you get a job? What are you doing?" Happy inquired we both knew that I didn't need a job. But the reason why I got a job was far great than my need for money.

"Happy, I need something other than unpacking and remodeling my house to keep me busy. I am going to go broke if I stay home and have nothing to do other than shop. I am working at a local bar; it's run by a sweet little Irish man who doesn't have any family here to help him out. I told him I would help him out and in actuality he is helping me out. I've been going stir crazy." I said.

"Well as long as you don't need money. If Chibs finds out your working for a 'mick'…"

"Don't tell him then…"I interrupted him. "Happy, I am sure that he would just be glad that I am starting to feel more like myself every day."

"How are the nights?" He asked me with some concern in his voice. I knew what he was talking about, he was the only person who knew I still would cry myself to sleep. The only time I had stopped was when he had stayed with me.

"Getting better, but I guess I can't expect myself to be a hundred percent quite yet." However I should have been, it had been over a year since I found out what Juice really thought of me and our relationship. I no longer took it personally. I however didn't really trust men, the two major relationships I had been in both of the men had either attempted to break me or did break me. I knew I would rise from this stronger than I was before. I didn't blame myself for not letting anyone in. "Well Hap, I need to finish my run. Anything food or drink wise that you guys might want? I think I will go shopping today for beverages…"

"Beer would be good but otherwise we will eat pretty much anything. I will call you when we are on a way. It will take about 8 hours or so to get down to Red Bluffs, from Tacoma."

"Okay. I am looking forward to seeing you guys. See you soon Killer."

"Bye Kylee." He said as he hung up the other line.

I continued my run and decided I should get some things done around the house. Really it was just frivolous activities to keep my mind off of things around Charming. I went into town and stopped by the bar where I was going to start working to talk with Brendan about the guys coming into town and see if it was okay if I picked up a few days earlier in the week verses working all weekend. I walked into the bar which was being cleaned by some workers that he hired to help out during the day by cleaning. Come to find out he was also helping them because they were just about to lose their house because both Mani and Liza both lost their jobs. He didn't need anyone to be there during the day to help clean but he wanted to give them a chance to get back on their feet.

"Hi Mani." I said as I walked in. Mani had to be in his early 40s. He had jet black hair that was speckled with silver hairs.

"Oh, hello Kylee." He looked up from mopping the floor.

"Is Brendan around?" I asked him.

"He's in the back." He motioned his hand to the office area where Brendan managed his books and took naps.

I knocked on the door before entering. Brendan was sitting behind his desk shuffling paperwork. "Hi Brendan," I smiled at his as he motioned for me to sit down.

"What can I do for you, Girly?" When I first met him he told me I didn't look like a Kylee so he refused to call me that. He most often referred to me as girly or love.

"I wanted to see if I could pick up hours earlier in the week, I have some unexpected visitors coming from Charming after a run to Tacoma." He looked at me sternly. I had visited his bar enough to know that his stern look was really just him thinking. He didn't really mean anything by it.

"Aye that should be okay. Have you passed this by the local MC?" He knew some of my history. He was a good man who listened when I needed someone to talk to. That is why I took the job there, he knew I needed something to keep me busy. Otherwise I would have become the town drunk.

I didn't know the etiquette, "Am I supposed to?" I asked.

"Well love we don't want your boys to start a war here in Red Bluffs with the MC here." He smiled at he got up from behind his desk and grabbed his cell phone from the top of a file cabinet. "I'll set up a meet with their president." I nodded. "Do you have time today?"

I laughed, "You do realize who you are talking to right?" He smiled at me knowing I had all the time in the world. "Today would work just fine. I have to run and get some stuff for their visit and then I could meet them here after that." I suggested. 0

"Aye, that would work for me. I will call them right now, stay put…." He turned his attention to his phone. "David, its Brendan. I have a little lady here who has a request for the club….yeah she can meet with you today…say 3. Sure I will let her know. Cheers." He hung up his phone and then looked down at me from where he was standing. "You have your meeting Girly. Be back here by 3 or earlier if you want to help me out."

"Alright, I will see you as soon as I get done shopping." I got up from the chair and smiled at the man who had shown me such generosity since I set foot into his bar. He actually thought I was Irish and that is how we started talking. He was trying to guess where I was from. Brendan was a beefier man who stood maybe 5 foot 7 or 8 and had a head full of white hair. He had huge caterpillar like eyebrows that had crazy wisps going in all different directions. I wanted to take him and trim them but I knew that wouldn't go over well so I accepted that he had crazy eyebrows.

I arrived back to Brendan's about 45 minutes before I was supposed to meet with the local MC. I knew there was one but I didn't realize they were that organized. I wondered if that is what the people in Charming though. Okay, who was I kidding Charming was a much small unincorporated town so of course they all knew about SAMCRO. I didn't hear much from the one in Red Bluffs, maybe it was because they were a larger town or maybe it was because they were on the up and up. The only experience I had with MCs was SAMBEL and their mother charter SAMCRO. Same club, same bullshit. I heard the bikes coming down the road, if I had to guess there were three to four of them. Brendan and I were talking over two lowballs of whisky when they walked in. There were four of them, all wearing matching black leather cuts and semi-hard looking faces. I don't know if they were trying to intimidate me or if that is how they looked all the time. But if they were trying to be intimidating they hadn't met Happy who was one scary fucker or Jonah who was even scarier than Happy ever was.

The man who was wearing the president patch was older, possibly in his fifties. I felt the scrutiny under his eyes.

"David. Boys." Brendan addressed them. "Can I get you anything?" He asked

"Beers. Thanks Bren." David said as the other guys nodded at him.

"Let me help you." I hopped off my stool and went behind the bar with Brendan. I couldn't understand why I felt like my nerves were on edge. I could feel their eyes following me and all of my moves. Brendan poured the beers and handed them to me and passed them off to the MC members that accompanied David.

After all the beers were handed out, David motioned to one of the tables, "Shall we?"

As I sat down I realized I hadn't introduced myself. "I'm sorry I am completely and utterly rude, my name is Kylee Ortiz." My last name stuck on my tongue, I couldn't change it.

"You don't sound or look Spanish." One of the men said, he had to have had some Hispanic origin in him. I saw David shoot the man a dirty look that said _SHUT THE FUCK UP!_

I choked on my whisky. "Um. I'm not." I left it at that and they were okay with that. "The reason I wanted to meet you, is I wanted to give you a heads up that some members of Sons of Anarchy MC will be stopping in town next week."

David furrowed his brow at me but it wasn't him who asked the next question it was an attractive golden blonde haired man with dark blue eyes that scrutinized me. "What business do they have here?"

"Actually they don't have any business, they will be visiting me." I said very matter of factly. I wasn't ready to share my life story with these men who I had just met minutes ago and didn't even know their names.

"Visiting? Are you one of their…" David put up his hand to the man.

"AJ shut the fuck up." David looked at him as if it was a warning.

"It's fine. No I am not one of their fucking whores." I said the last part was full of venom. I looked directly at AJ whose face seemed to soften. "I was an old lady until…" I looked down at my hands, then back up at the four men who were strangers looking back at me. "Until he fucked things up with us. The men who are coming to visit are friends…family. They probably won't be here for more than a few days. However they do go up to Tacoma a bit so I would guess since we are between them they would stop off now and then."

David considered me for a moment. "That should be fine. However if they start trouble with us or bring trouble to our town, that will be the end of their visits." I nodded. I didn't want trouble here.

I felt the urge to jump over the table and hug David but I refrained. "Thank you." I smiled at him. I was really grateful.

"You're welcome. How long have you been here?" He asked me.

"Um just about a month. I wanted to be somewhere far enough from Charming to not see…" I stopped myself and shook my head. "Anyway, far enough away but close enough to get there if I needed to."

He nodded. "I should probably introduce these guys." David looked at the men sitting at the table with us. "AJ, Mac and Knots." He pointed to the men as he said their names. Mac and Knots looked almost identical, which I later found out later that they were brothers. Mac was in his late 30s and Knots was in his mid-30s they had the same floppy mop of brown hair and big brown eyes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you all." I smiled politely. I could feel AJ's eyes burning a hole into me. I looked directly at him and held eye contact with him until he looked away. _That's right, look away._ I thought to myself. "Well I should actually go, I need to get my evening run in before I get ready for my visitors." I started to get up and bring my glass to the washer behind the bar. David nodded and started talking the guys.

"Wait?!" A voice called from behind me. I turned and saw AJ closing in the space between us. He easily stood a foot taller than my 5 feet 4 inches, he dwarfed me. I looked up at him. "Sorry I was such an ass."

I gave him a half smile, "It's fine. I get it, you have to protect your club and its members. Listen I understand how clubs work, I've been there." I walked behind the bar and placed my cup in the washer.

"Yeah, I am still sorry." He leaned on the bar, watching my every move.

"Thank you." I said as I walked out from behind the bar.

"It's nice to meet you, Kylee. I hope you aren't too much a stranger." He smiled at me as he shook my hand and let it linger a bit longer than it probably should have. There were a flutter of butterflies when he let go. I wasn't ready for a man to be attracted to me, or for me to react this way to a man. I still felt like a train wreck heading down the wrong side of the tracks.

"It's nice to meet you too." I said with a slight blush as I turned and walked out of the bar. _You have to be fucking kidding me. _I thought to myself.

I started working at Brendan's the following Monday. I told him I wanted to keep busy so he immediately stuck me behind the bar. It was quite busy, but I kept up. While I was in the middle of a large rush I looked up to see AJ and Mac down at the end of the bar. I held up my finger, letting them know I would be right with them. After I got my orders out I walked up to them.

"What can I get you gentlemen?" I asked.

"Your number." AJ said boldly.

I chuckled, "Um." I didn't know what to say, "I meant to drink."

AJ frowned at me, he was hot even when he frowned. "A couple of beers. I hope you know I am not going to give up until I get your number." He called after me while I was pouring their beers.

"Why am I not surprised?" I raised my eyebrow at him. "We'll see."

That is how the beginning of my week went. He would come in and ask for my number and I always told him maybe. I didn't ever give in and give him my number. He was so persistent, while I was working on making my heart a rock he was working at chipping away at it. I was heading into work on Friday when I got a call from Happy saying that they would be in Red Bluffs by midnight. That was perfect because I would be off at 12:30. AJ came into the bar just like he had ever other night I was working.

"How is my favorite bartender?" He asked me.

I smiled at him. "I'm good. How is my favorite stalker?"

He laughed happily, "Oh is that what I am to you?" He put his hand on his heart like he was broken hearted.

"Go sit down, I'll get you the usual." I said to him and watched him walk over to a table where David and two other members of their MC were sitting. I grabbed beers for all of them. I grabbed coasters and made sure that one of them had my number on it. I passed out the coasters and then the beers and walked away. A few minutes later while I was restocking the bar before the heavy rush came I heard AJ call my name.

"Yes?" I popped up from under the bar and he was standing directly on the other side of where I was.

"Is this what I think it is?" He held up the coaster with number on it.

"Why, yes it is a coaster." I smirked at him.

"And this here?" He pointed to my number.

I pretended to take a closer look at it. "It appears to be my cell number on there." I said very nonchalantly. He smiled broadly at me.

"Ah the coveted number." He walked back to his table.

The rest of evening went by like a blur. It might have been that I was super busy or the fact I was anticipating the visit of Happy, Jax and Opie. I was bombarded by orders when I saw Happy walk into the bar. I didn't care I stopped what I was doing and ran out from around the bar.

"Happy!" I ran and jumped at him throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

He picked me up off the ground and hugged me back. "How's goin' Ky?" He smiled at me as he put me down. "You look good." He touched my cheek. I was so happy to see him.

"Stop hogging her, you ass." Jax shoved Happy a bit and took me into his arms. "Hey Ky, how are you?"

"Hey Jax." I embraced him. "I'm doing well. How are Tara and the boys?"

"They are doing well. Tara misses you, she almost chopped off my balls when I told her we were stopping here and I didn't invite her."

I laughed. "That is a good sound to hear." Happy said as he looked at me. I knew he was talking about my laughter. It has been a long time since I was able to be content enough to truly laugh.

"Hey Opie." I hugged him, his beard tickled the side of my face. It had gotten really long. "Your beard has grown really long." I said as I gently tugged on it.

He ran his hand over it, "Yeah. Donna sends her love." I smiled at the love I felt.

"Come on let me get you guys a drink, I only have a half hour left." I walked up to the bar and the guys followed. I turned to Jax, "So the local MC may want to chat with you guys." I looked over AJ who was on the phone my guess was he had called David to let him know that SAMCRO was here.

"There is a local MC?" Jax tilted his head sideways and then looked around the bar. "Alright, I mean we are on their turf." He said as he spotted them.

I looked directly at Happy when I said, "I promised there wouldn't be any trouble. Get that Killer?" I set a beer in front of all of them

"Loud and clear little lady." He smirked at me. I finished up with the rush when Laura my relief showed up. She worked somewhere else so she only picked up a few hours here and there. Tonight was one of those nights. I was pouring myself a beer when AJ walked up to the bar.

"Kylee?" He gently touched my arm to get my attention.

I turned and smiled, "Yeah?"

"David's here and wants to chat with your friends." He looked off.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? I mean I got a number from a beautiful woman tonight." He smiled

"Oh yeah. Well tell her I said hi when you call her." I teased. "I'll send them right over." The bar was starting to clear out some.

"You're welcome too." That was the first time I had been invited to sit with them. I nodded.

I walked over to Happy, Jax and Opie who were talking and laughing about something. "What is so funny?" I raised one of my eye brows at them with a smile.

"Oh just laughing about the croweater who is with Jui..." Jax said but then realized what he did when my smile immediately washed away from my face. "Oh fuck Ky. I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "It's fine. I can't through my life without him being mentioned now and then." I swallowed hard. I tried to force a smile onto my face, but it didn't come. "David wants to meet with us." I took a long drink from my beer. "Go over there and I will bring some beers over." I turned back to pour beers. I heard Opie say something to Jax about his big fucking mouth. He said something that was too quiet for me to hear but I was sure it was about Juice's flavor of the month.

I walked over to the tables where both MCs were sitting. I passed the beers I poured out and took a seat next to Happy and across from AJ. He smiled at me with his crooked smile. I bit my lower lips before smiling back. I was hoping Happy hadn't caught any of that but I was sure if he did I would hear about it later.

"We know that you guys now have family here but we don't want any trouble in our town. We went legit about five years ago when I stepped up as president and don't want to go back down the other road." David said to Jax.

"Believe me brother, I understand, we are working our way up that road right now." I furrowed my brow and looked down at Jax. This was the first I had heard this. The club was going legit?! How were they going to get out of guns with the Irish? That was going to be one hell of a fight. I hadn't noticed but Jax was now wearing the President patch, Opie was the VP and Happy was the Sargent at Arms.

"Why didn't you tell me about your promotion?" I whispered to Happy.

He looked down at his patch. "Just happened." He turned back to the conversation with David. I rolled my eyes and happened to catch AJ looking at me. I looked away quickly as I felt myself blush under his eyes. The beers were going down quickly at our table so I went back up to the bar and filled several pitchers and brought them back to the table.

"How long are you guys staying?" AJ asked, Jax.

"Opie and I will be heading back tomorrow afternoon. Happy is going to stay on for a few days to be sure that our girl is getting on okay." I understood why they had to leave so quickly, they had families to get back to. My heart ached slightly for that family that Juice and I could have had. I pushed that ache deep down like I tended to do when I thought about Juice. By the end of the night both clubs were getting along quite well. I wondered if it was the fact that they were both trying to be legit with the law or if it was the fact they loved bike but I was glad to see everything was going well and that I would be able to have my family visit me while I lived in Red Bluffs. As the evening wound down, AJ pulled me aside to talk to me.

"So what is up with you and that Happy, guy? Which by the way he is not happy at all."  
I started to laugh extremely hard almost to the point of tears. "His name is ironic, isn't it?! Hap is like a brother to me. He has taken care of the broken parts of me." I looked over at Happy lovingly with a silly little smirk on my face. I didn't know where I would be without Happy. "Let's just say the girl you see in front of you right now wouldn't be who she is without him. You might want to thank him someday." I patted his chest as I walked over to Jax, Opie and Happy who were talking with Mac and David. "Take me home?" I put my arm around Happy.

"Of course. David." Happy nodded at him as he took his leave.

"It was nice to meet you David, thanks for you watching out for our girl when we can't." Jax said as he Opie both shook hands with David and Mac.

I got out to the bikes and Happy handed me his helmet. "So what with you and the tall blonde?"

"Nothing. What do you mean?" I asked him, he had seen.

"I saw the way you, two were looking at each other. Do you really think you're ready for that shit? You can't even handle hearing Juice's name yet." What he way saying was totally true, I couldn't handle hearing his name yet, let alone say it.

"Are you jealous killer?" I whispered into his ear.

"Woman, if I was, I would get what I wanted from you." He slapped my ass gently as I turned to get on the bike.

The guys visit went by too quickly. Jax and Opie left early the next afternoon. I was sad to see them go but they promised they would send Donna and Tara up to visit me within a few weeks. The must have known I needed some woman contact. Happy stayed on with me as promised for a few more days. There was no more mention of Juice, AJ or the Red Bluffs MC. He kept me company every night, he held me tightly the night that sobs racked through my body from the nightmare of the day that Juice cheated on me riddled my sleep. I had two really good nights of sleep before he had to leave.

We were standing in my driveway saying our good-byes when I turned to and said to him. "Happy you need to tell Juice that I'm okay and that I am alive." I shook my head still thinking about how he had told Juice that lie. I guessed that club and old ladies were playing along with it at that point. Happy told me that they told him he wasn't invited to my funeral. I smacked him hard on the chest when he told me that. He told me he was glad to feel the sting of my smack because that meant I was getting some muscle back.

Happy nodded at me as if to say, whatever you say but I am going to do what I want. "Happy I am serious!" I stomped my foot on the ground in frustration. "Fuck you are so frustrating."

Happy laughed at my reaction, then patted my head. "I'll tell him." I hugged him before he got onto his bike. He kissed my forehead. "Be safe. I'll be back in a few weeks or so."

"Okay. I'll talk to you soon. And Happy, I want you to tell Juice that I am alive. I can't be dead if I visit."

"Fuck Woman! I get it." He smirked at me as he got on his bike and drove away leaving me alone in my house but thankfully I was no longer alone in Red Bluffs.

_**A/N: Well that was a long chapter. What do you guys think of AJ and the new MC? Any ideas for names for MC? I couldn't come up with a good one so right now they are nameless! **____** More to come soon….feel free to leave me a comment on what you thought of this chapter. It's always fun hearing from you guys! I may still write more tonight. **_


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I was working at Brendan's which had become typical of my weekday nights. I was more than happy to help out Brendan, he didn't have to work as hard during those days of the week and could relax in the evening. He had given me keys so I could close the bar down. I had become his go to girl, which was completely fine with me. The evening wasn't anything out of the normal, we weren't super busy which was typical for a Tuesday night. The MC came walking in they must have just finished their meeting. I was talking with one of the regulars whose name was Norman. He was a widower who had a daughter who was my age and she lived in New York. Norman had taken me on as an adopted daughter, we celebrated his birthday together as well as mine. My Charming family couldn't make it up for it. When AJ walked up to the bar and smiled his crooked gorgeous smile at me. He was growing on me but I still hadn't let him in.

"How is your evening going beautiful?" He asked pulling me away from my conversation with Norman. Norman was a big advocate for me and AJ dating. He was vocal about it too. I wondered if AJ paid him for his advertising. I smiled thinking about it.

"Slow but it's nice because then I can visit with people." I smiled as I grabbed a pitcher to fill with beer for their table. I could feel AJ's eyes on me, like always. He had been asking me out for three months. I said no every time. I still wasn't ready for what dating someone meant, I didn't want to let anyone into my heart that wasn't already there. I didn't think I could handle another heart break like the one I just went through. I had also come to the realization that as much as Juice had hurt me I was still in love with him. Okay, so I understood that people change over years so how much could he have changed over the year and a half we had been apart? So I guess I still loved the man, Juice was before the day that I found him with the croweater in bed. Deep in my heart I knew I should move on, I mean Juice obviously had with his crow-eating lovers.

"So are you ever going to let me take you out on a date?" He asked me again.

"I don't think that it's a good idea, AJ. Please I am just not ready to date."

"How long has it been Kylee?" He stared at me.

"A year and a half." I hadn't told him a whole lot about my relationship with Juice but he knew he broke my heart which was still on the mend.

"Don't you think that is long enough to be single?" He asked.

It was the longest I had been single in years, I felt like each of my relationships had been so close together and in the case of Liam and Juice they just melded into each other. I didn't get a change to enjoy life for myself; I had always been defined by a man. I was actually enjoying not having to answer to anyone for my choices that I was making in my life. "No. I am actually enjoying being single." As I said that the front door opened and two women walked in. It took me a second to realize who it was. "Oh my god! Tara! Donna!" We ran up to each other and they both embraced me all at once. "What are you doing here?" I asked them as I stepped back.

"We wanted to surprise you." Tara smiled at me. It was so good to see her, she had cut off all of her long brown hair it was in a short pixie cut. She looked absolutely stunning.

"This is such a surprise! I am working but come sit at the bar we'll talk while I work." I pulled them both to the bar where AJ was still standing and watching us. I looked up at him as I walked past.

"You should think about it, Kylee." He gave me a hopeful look.

"I will think about it." How could I wouldn't because I would? "AJ, these are my friends: Donna, Opie's wife and Tara, Jax's wife. Ladies this is AJ."

"Hey." AJ smiled at them.

"Yo, AJ get your ass over here and stop flirting with Kylee. We're thirsty!" Knots yelled across the bar. AJ's cheeks flushed red.

"It was nice meeting you ladies." He said to Tara and Donna as he took the pitcher of beer from me letting his hand touch mine gently. I smiled at him and then turned back to my friends.

"So he's attractive." Donna smiled at me. "And it's obviously he likes you."

I looked at her with uncertainty, "I don't know if I am ready to date yet. The problem is I still care about Juice. I don't understand how can I? Fuck! He hasn't even tried to contact me in a year and a half." Tara and Donna exchanged a sideways glance. "What?"

"We were wondering if he would but the club has seriously put the fear of meeting Mr. Mayhem in him. I mean Chibs and Happy both took turns beating the shit out of him when you left. Chibs almost put him in the hospital because of the shit he pulled. He hasn't been himself since you left. He is ruthless and honey I am not telling this to break your heart but he goes through the croweaters like they are a buffet." Donna said.

"Oh and then there was that shit Happy pulled by telling him you killed yourself. He was broken up about that. I could have punched him in the throat for that shit, if he wasn't so damn scary." Tara's voice was full of anger. "Juice was just a better person with you around."

I took a deep breath as my friends told me all this. So I wasn't the only one who was paying for his sins. I was glad to hear he was struggling as much as I was. It actually made me feel a bit better about everything. There I was thinking he didn't care how he hurt me and it was obviously he did. "Even if he was faced with death, if he cared he would have come, or at least stopped fucking those stupid skags." I poured shots for Donna and Tara and then one for myself. I looked up and I smiled at AJ who was coming back up to the bar.

"Those guys are a bunch of fucking lushes." He smiled back at me and then at Donna and Tara as he handed me the pitcher. He leaned his long muscular body up against the bar facing Tara and Donna and asked, "So how long will you ladies be in town?"

"We'll be here until Friday." Donna smiled back at AJ. Four days with my two favorite people. I couldn't wait. I would have to call and see if Brendan would be willing to let me have some time off, he was usually okay with things like that because he was really not paying me as much as he should but I didn't really need the money it was more about helping him out.

"Cool. Well I am sure I will see you around then." He took the pitcher back from me. "Thanks, Kylee."

"No problem." I watched him walk back to the table. Would it be so bad to be with someone like AJ? He seemed to have his head on straight, he was smart and he was fucking hot. But he didn't give me butterflies in the way Juice did. When he touched me I didn't burn white hot for him. Would I be settling or giving up something that I ached for every night when I was alone in my bed? _Fuck how could I still love him after what he did to me?_ But would I be passing up something with AJ that I wouldn't find again? Maybe I would give him a chance.

The week with Donna and Tara went really well. We did some shopping and partying and boy could they drink when the kids were not around. I hadn't realized how much I had missed their beautiful faces and their sound advice. I promised them that I would go to Charming for a visit sometime soon. Tara broke my heart by telling me that the boys missed their Aunty Ky. I missed their kids just about as much I missed both of them. Of course they resorted to the use of their children to get me to come back. I told them I would possibly come for Christmas. But of course I didn't know if I could do it. They also promised if I came they would keep it a secret from Juice so I wouldn't have to see him. If I was home, how could I not see him?

Before they left Donna came up to me and asked if we could talk. Tara was in the shower. We went out on to the patio in my back yard with our coffees. I felt like it was old times, just a different house. It made me realize how much I had really given up when I left Charming. I hadn't just left Juice, I left them as well. After sitting down Donna turned to me and said, "I think you should give Juice another chance."

I looked at her with disbelief, "What?" If I did decide that I wanted to go back down that path in life, I couldn't trust Juice; that would have taken a lot. Hell I was just starting to begin to get to know myself and who I was without a man. I was really liking this Kylee. Strong, independent, someone who found joy in the little things.

"I haven't told anyone this, but Juice came to me the day you left. Kylee he was a broken man, he still is. I have never seen any of the Sons like that before. He lost his path and his straight north when you walked out of his life." She had some sadness in her eyes as she remembered that day. "He was sobbing. I have never seen a SON like that before."

I felt angry, why had she waited this long to tell me this? "He shouldn't have cheated on me then. He should have realized what would have happened. Maybe he knew what would happen and that is why he did it. He shouldn't have listened to two stupid sluts over his own wife and club member." I tried to calm myself down, I wasn't angry with her, I just didn't like talking about Juice and reminding myself of the pain.

"You know he still wears his wedding ring and he has yours on necklace he wears. He doesn't think anyone knows but I saw them one day when he was working on his bike. The necklace slipped out from under his shirt, he looked up quickly like he had been caught and then shoved them back. Even if you don't get back together you should at least talk to him. You can't run or stay away forever." Her words stung me. I just nodded as I sat there with her in silence. I knew she was right I couldn't stay away from Charming forever.

After a tearful goodbye with them and decided I would go into Brendan's for a drink. I walked in and of course the MC was there and Laura was tending bar.

"Hey Laura, can I get a Cosmo?" I asked her. Laura was a petite blonde who had big hazel eyes that were almost cartoonish looking. She was very pretty.

"Yeah no problem." She smiled as she looked at someone who was behind me. "Hi AJ." She pretty much batted her eyelashes at him.

"Hey Laura." He said. Now why couldn't he go after someone who was really into him? Someone who would make him happy and give him little AJs. No, he had to go after the broken girl who had no clue what she wanted, the one who kept pushing in away. "Hey you." He said quietly in my ear.

"Hi." I said quietly.

"You want to join me?" He asked as I turned to look at him, he could tell I was sad.

"Sure." I said as I took my drink off the bar, "Thanks Laura." I smiled at her. She looked longingly at AJ as we walked towards the table. "You should ask Laura out. She likes you." I told AJ.

"She isn't really my type." He smirked at me.

"And what is your type?" I asked knowing what the answer was going to be.

"Isn't it obvious?" He touched my hand that was sitting on the table. I fought the urge to pull it away and left it under his hand.

"What? You like girls who don't know what they want. Who have been broken beyond repair?" I asked him.

"If you were broken beyond repair you wouldn't be here. You would have taken your life long ago. You are a fighter and you are strong and I see the love you have every day when you are here, you care for people and ask for nothing in return. Can I ask you something Kylee? Do you still love him?" Why was he asking me that?

"Do you want me to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?" I asked him quietly.

He tightened his grip on my hand, "The truth even if I don't like what I hear."

I looked down at his hand and I put the hand that was free on top of his then I looked up at him and stared into his eyes, I could feel myself on the edge of tears. "As much as I hate to admit it, I still love him with every fiber of my being for some god awful reason. After everything he did to me…to us, I should hate him but I don't."

Looked at me with a bit of sadness intermixed with hope. "Will you at least let me try to make you forget about him?"

I smiled at him sadly, he really wanted me and I couldn't see why. I couldn't understand what it was about me that made AJ want me so badly. "AJ, I don…" I said as he moved himself to my side of the booth and didn't let me finish my sentence he kissed me. It was full of passion and want. I gave in to his kiss it has been the first time in a long time that I had been kissed. He pulled away and kept his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. "Ok." I said breathlessly. AJ pulled back and smiled at me. Could this man make me happy? Could he fill the giant Juice size void in my heart?

AJ and I had been dating each other for a little over three months. I felt like a giant weight had been lifted when we started to see each other. He helped keep the nightmares away when he spent the nights with me. However he only filled a fraction of my heart, there wasn't a day that went by when didn't just have a passing thought of Juice. But then again I didn't know if I would ever stop wondering how he was. He saved me in so many ways that I kept that with me.

The day Happy came through on a run. I was working at the bar when he walked through the door like it was not a big deal. Little did we know that day was going to be far from a normal day, it was going to be a heart breaking sort of day.

"Hey woman! Get me a beer." He pounded on the counter behind me.

I turned around, "Listen here Killer, I don't let anyone talk to me that way." I raised my eye brow at him as I walked around the bar to hug him, "welcome back Killer." He was dirty from the road. "How long are you staying?"

"Thanks Ky." He embraced me. I missed him. "A few days if you can manage that?"

"Of course I can handle that. However, I need to tell you something…" I paused momentarily.

"What is it?" He looked at me his brown eyes were serious.

"I've been seeing AJ." I looked at him, worried that he might not approve.

"Does he make you happy?" Happy asked. In all honesty he did make me happy, when I was with him he made me forget about Juice. He made me feel like I was semi-whole again.

"He takes away the pain. He occasionally makes me forget about him." I didn't need to expand that we had been sleeping together and that the first time I felt like a horrible person afterwards. But it was fabulous fucking sex and I had learned to push that voice away. _I shouldn't feel guilty_.I thought to myself, I knew Juice didn't every time he put his dick into some stretched out croweater pussy. I didn't need to elaborate on that to Happy. I just needed him to know I was happy enough where I was and who I was with. "And the nights have been good."

"That is all that matters right?" He smiled at me over the bar while he drank the beer that I sat in front of him. Happy's phone rang, it was Jax. He gave his phone a grave look as he stepped out to take the call. Not long after my cell rang, it was Tara.

"Hey. Funny that you called because Jax is talking to Happy who is here." I answered the phone happily.

"Ky?" Tara sound it sad, like she had been crying. My heart dropped. I knew instantly something was wrong especially after Happy came walking in with a furrowed brow and concerned look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked, I was on the verge of tears, something was wrong.

"Opie, Donna and the kids were killed in a car accident today." She cried into the phone.

I crumbled to the floor behind the bar. "What?" I said in a nearly inaudible whisper. Trying to shut out the happy voices around me.

"They are gone, Ky. A semi-truck hit them and they…" She broke off into a sob.

I lost it, I started to cry. How could they be dead? How could something like that happen to them? The whole family was gone, like that in a blink of an eye. My heart dropped.

"I'm on my way." Was all I could say to her as I hung up the phone. I stood up tears rolling down my face.

The only thing I saw was Happy's face staring at me from across the bar. "We need to go, Ky."

I nodded, I was already dialing Brendan's number. "Oi, Brendan, it's Kylee. I need to go…I've got a family emergency." All I felt was the tears running down my face. I was numb.

"Okay I will be in, shortly. Go if you need to; the bar will be fine. Let the regulars take care of it." Brendan said from the other side of the phone.

"Alright, thank you Bren."

"Anything you need Girly, let me know." He said. He was such a blessing to me. He was exactly what I needed when I needed it.

As I walked out from behind the bar, AJ and David walked into the bar. AJ looked at me with a smile but knew immediately something was up. He walk up to me and took me into his muscular arms. It was just what I needed, for him to hold me; to make me feel safe. He glanced over at Happy, who was getting his stuff together.

"What's wrong baby?" He kissed my forehead and he looked down at me.

"Donna, Opie and the kids are dead." I sobbed into his chest. It seemed so surreal to me. _How can they be gone?_ Was all that kept running through my head.

I turned to Happy, "Please tell me this some rotten fucking joke you guys planned to get me to Charming." He had pulled something like that before. I pushed him. "Tell me it's a fucking joke." Tears were streaming down my face. He shook his head sadly. "Oh my god, Happy. I just talked to her this morning. She can't be gone. Opie and the kids…oh my god the kids…Donna." Before I knew what was going on Happy had pulled me into his arms.

He embraced me tightly, "Shhh. Kylee, we'll get through it. We need to get home." I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself in his familiar smell: cigarettes, leather, cologne and the road. He looked down at me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "Remember that you're a tough bitch."

I let out a snort and nodded my head. I felt anything but tough at that moment. Happy released me from his embrace and I turned back to AJ was at a loss for what to do. "Can you watch the bar for me?" I asked him.

"Of course anything you need." He looked down at me.

"Brendan will be here soon. Thank you." I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I'll be in touch." AJ nodded as I turned to leave with Happy. Why was it always a death that brought me to Charming? Was that a sign that I should just stay away?

"Do you need anything from your house?" Happy asked me.

"No I still have clothes at the house; that is if Juice didn't throw anything out."

"He hasn't been there in over a year as far as I know." He said as he handed me his helmet, I put it on and strapped it tightly. He took off for Charming, it was going to be a long two hour ride back home. Home.

_**A/N: Well next chapter will be set in Charming and it will be the first time Juice and Kylee have seen each other in almost 2 years. How do you think that will go over? Stay…Tuned…more to come.**_


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

It took us almost three hours to get to Charming from Red Bluff. It was the longest three hours of my life. I didn't even enjoy the ride; we just couldn't get to Charming quick enough. I was beating myself for being such a shitty friend over the last year and a half. I had realized that I had been a bad friend when they came for a visit. I didn't know what was going on in their lives when they knew mine. I made a conscious after Donna and Tara went back to Charming to touch base with them daily. Even just to hear their voices. I was trying, I was finally at a point I could give parts of myself back to people. We pulled into the Teller Morrow's lot and Happy parked his bike. My stomach was in knots and I needed Tara.

"Uncle Happy!" A joyful little voice called out. I turned to see Abel Teller, well a taller version of how I remembered him, come running towards us. He looked so grown up, he was nearly five years old now. He had his father's messy blonde hair and big beautiful eyes. When Abel reached up he looked at me as if he was considering who I was. "Auntie Ky?!" He launched himself into my legs. _At least there is something to smile about today. _I thought to myself.

"Hi Abel." I crouched down and hugged him tightly. "How are you?"

"Everyone is really sad but mama told me I am brave because I haven't cried." He looked at me beaming with pride. "I am glad you are back Auntie Ky. Did you know I can ride a two wheel bike? You will have to watch me. And you know what pretty soon I will get a motorcycle of my own…Right Uncle Happy?" We both looked up at Happy.

"Sure kid." He ruffled Abel's hair.

"Where is your mom?" I asked him. I didn't know if I had the courage to go into the club house even with Happy by my side. I didn't see Juice's bike but that didn't mean that he hadn't gotten a new one. However for some reason I felt better about walking in with Abel. If he could be brave, I could be too.

"She's in the club. Come on, I will show you." He placed his little hand into mine and pulled me along with him. Something never change I thought as we walked through the door of the SAMCRO's club house. It still smelt of cigarette smoke, stale alcohol and rancid pussy. I looked back at Happy who was following closely behind. "Mama…mama…Look who Uncle Happy found. It's Auntie Ky." Abel yelled at the top of his lungs. Tara looked up teary eyed from the table where she was seated with Gemma.

When I reached her, we embraced each other and cried knowing how much the other was in pain. We finally parted and looked at each other. I wanted to take away the pain that she was baring. "I'm glad you came home." She said in a quiet voice.

"Me too." I said feeling a nervous twinge in my stomach. "I wish it was under better circumstances." I wiped the tears from my face. "Hi, Mama Gemma."

She stood up and hugged me to her, "Welcome home baby." She looked at me. "You look thin."

I let out a little laugh, I was actually heavier then I was when I moved back to the US. I had filled out nicely and was more muscular that I had been in years. "Actually I am…." I never got to finish that sentence because I had two strong arms wrapped themselves around me and lift me off the ground. I could tell by the rings it was Chibs. I hadn't even heard them come in but the club house was filling with Sons.

"Hello Lassie." He turned me around to face him and hugged me against his chest. "You're looking good love." He hadn't seen me since I came back from Northern Ireland.

"Thanks. I feel better, well other than present issues." I looked at him with a small smile.

"Aye that is good." He embraced me again. "Glad to have you home love."

I looked up at him, "I would have liked it to be on better terms and sometime when you sent Juice away on a run." I smirked

"Not ready to see the boy?" He asked, I shook my head. Now that I was in Charming I wanted nothing more than to run back to Red Bluff. I had to suck up my fear of seeing Juice and just deal with it but I didn't think I was emotionally ready for that yet. "Well he won't be back for a while. We sent him to pick up some stuff for the party tomorrow night."

"Party?" I asked.

"Ack aye, to celebrate their lives. Plus we have a lot of other charters coming in for the funerals, most of them will be here tomorrow."

"Let me know if you guys need any help. I need to keep busy." I told him.

"Alright love I'll tell Jax." He smiled at me.

I went in search for Happy. He was sitting with Jax, Bobby and Tig. I gave them all a small smile when I reached the table. "Hi guys. Can I borrow Happy for a minute?" I asked.

"Of course." Jax nodded, "Glad you could make it back."

I nodded as I gave him a sad look. Happy got up and walked with me towards the bar. "Can you take me to my house? I just want to be alone."

"Yeah, let me tell Jax." He said as he turned and walked back towards the table.

I went over to let Tara and Gemma know that I would be leaving. Seems funny because all the time I was dealing with Juice's indiscretion, I wanted to be around people but now all I wanted was to be alone. It might have been my need to wrap my head around the loss of people who really helped shape who I was as a person. I also had to prepare myself to see Juice again. It had been almost two years since everything went down and being in the club house made me uneasy and antsy. Every memory of that day was rushing at me in full force.

"Let's go." Happy put his hand on the small of my back. When we got out to his bike, he looked at me sternly. "You are going to have to face him sometime, you know that right. You can't just hide behind us forever."

I placed my hands over my face and then looked back up at him, "It is that apparent?" I asked.

He gave me a look that if I didn't know better I would have thought he didn't care. "To me yes, to Chibs most likely. To the others I don't know. Isn't it better to get it over with?"

I took a deep breath, "Not today. I can't today. I'm holding on by a thread here, Hap. I'm far too emotional to see him, let alone deal with him."

Happy nodded as he got onto his bike and I followed in suit. I just wanted to get into my bathtub with a nice glass of white wine and forget the day. As we pulled out I glanced down the road and I could have recognized him riding his bike anywhere, even after the time, it was Juice. My heart started to speed up as he got closer. He reached the drive way just as we pulled out. I tightened my grip on Happy and looked in the opposite direction that Juice was coming from. I hoped he didn't realize that it was me.

The house still looked the same. The grass had been mowed and the bushes had been trimmed. I looked at Happy with confusion, I figured I would have come back to my house with some sort of disrepair.

"Who's been taking care of the house?" I asked him

He shrugged. "Beats the fuck out of me. Figured you hired someone to do it." I shook my head at him. He looked at me, "Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

I put on a smile, "Yes, I will be fine. Go back and be with your brothers." _Liar, I don't know if I am going to be okay_. I thought to myself. Did I really want to go back into the house that held so many memories of Juice? But it also held memories of Kip and Donna. "Pick me up before the party tomorrow?"

"Of course. I expect you to be fully liquored up at that point." He teased me. But it could have been the truth.

"We'll see. Let me know if the club or Gemma needs help setting stuff up. Because keeping busy might be a good thing for me."

"I'll do that." Happy said as left, leaving me alone with my house.

I was nervous about walking inside, I didn't know why, it could have been I didn't know what to expect. I unlocked the door and walked in, it smelt a little dusty but most of all it smelt like home. Wonderfully heartbreaking memories came rushing at me. I had always imagined that Juice and I would raise a few children in the house together before moving into a large house where we would watch our children and grandchildren grow up. I walked into my bedroom which was pretty much the way I left it. It was cleaner and organized the way it was when we lived there and not the way I left it. I had drawers strewn all over the room as I filled my bags to leave. I sat on the bed and it was almost as if I could smell Juice and feel his arms around me. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I laid down and snuggled with his pillow. I awoke and the house was dark. I crawled out of bed and turned on the bedroom light, I dug through one of the drawers I didn't empty when I moved out, there was only so much a panicked, heartbroken packer can grab and fit into two bags. I took out a shirt and yoga pants and changed into them before I went out to the kitchen. I figured there wouldn't be any food in the house since I hadn't been there either that or everything in the fridge would be rotten. I opened it and to my surprise there was some food in it. Most of it is was fresh. Juice had to have been coming over here and no one knew. I grabbed out the makings for a salad and ate it quickly. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. It confused me why he would come here when really there was nothing that tied him to this house anymore. I looked at the clock that as hanging on the wall it was only 11:20, I decided I would call AJ and let him know that I got to Charming in one piece. Although Happy wouldn't have had it any other way.

The phone rang and he picked up after the second ring. "Hey sweetheart." I could tell he had a smile on his face.

"Hi. I wanted to let you know that I got to Charming in one piece." I didn't know what the future held for us. If we didn't end up together I still wanted to be his friend. He helped me remember what it was like to feel somewhat whole again.

"I am glad to hear that. How was the ride? How is everyone?" He asked me.

"The ride was long and it took forever okay well it seemed like it took forever but you know it was just the anticipation of being back in Charming as well as Donna and her family's deaths. Everyone is obviously upset." It was like I knew what he was going to ask me next.

"Have you seen Juice yet?" He questioned.

"Only as he passed Happy and me on leaving the club house." Was all had to say about it but the truth was Happy was right I couldn't avoid him forever. I wasn't really comfortable talking to AJ about Juice. "How was the rest of your day?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"It was okay. I wish you were here with me right now." His voice was lusty.

"Yeah?" I smirked, he did know how to make me smile. I could see him hovering over me like he did often, the muscles in his chest and arms flexed. My belly clenched with desire.

"Mmm, yeah." He was obviously trying to take my mind off of things. "What are you wearing?"

Did he really want to have phone sex with me? I felt like a teenage her who was going to get caught by her parents. "An oversized tee and yoga pants." I giggled. "I'm sorry, AJ, I can't do this. As much as I would love to, I am just not in the right mind set. You have made me feel so much better though." I felt ridiculous at the thought of phone sex.

He sighed deeply. "Yeah, I get it. Well I will just talk to you tomorrow. Have a good night Kylee." He sounded extremely disappointed.

"Night, AJ. Sleep well." I said into the phone as the other line went dead. He had hung up. I got it, I understood he had needs. He needed me to show him he had nothing to worry about. He also had to understand where I was coming from too. I had just lost one of my best friends and her family. I wasn't in the mood to have phone sex or physical sex for that matter. I also had to deal with my emotional baggage known as Juice. I went to bed disappointed and at a loss, I was hoping that the next morning would bring me some lightness.

I woke up early the next morning and dug through my closet, everything was still there including the dirty clothes. I grabbed the basket out of the closet and went into the laundry room and threw them in the wash. _Gross two year old laundry_. Intermixed with my clothes were Juice's clothes, like a day hadn't passed and our love was never broken. He obviously had long forgotten about them otherwise he would have taken them. I went back into the bed room and found my old running shoes and change into my running clothes. I forgot how comfortable the ones I had in Charming were. It was still slightly dark out when I went for my run. I ran the path that I would take when I lived in Charming. Up through one part of town and back down through the other. I felt refreshed as I blared my music and my feet hit familiar pavement. It was as if I had never left, nothing in Charming had changed. I missed the small town feeling of it, granted Red Bluff was a smaller town but it didn't have the feel that I was use to from living in Charming for so long. I got back to the house, I was so sweaty and in need of a shower. I noticed that I had a missed phone call. It was Gemma.

_Hey sweetheart. I was calling to see if you wanted to come over and help me bake for the thing tonight. Let me know I will come and get you._

I dialed her number.

"Hello?" Gemma answered

"Hi Gemma. It's Kylee."

"Oh hey sweetheart. You got my message?"

"I did. I would love to come over and help you. I need to shower first, I was just out on a run. I can be ready in say 30 minutes."

"That is perfect, I will swing past the grocery store and come get you," She said into the phone.

It was strange showering in my house. It brought back memories of time spent not showering in there with Juice. I sighed missing the feeling of burning I felt when I was with him. The way he made me feel when he touched me. That was something that AJ couldn't do to me. I stepped out of the shower and got dressed to go to Gemma's house. I didn't know if I would have a chance to come back home so I got dressed in what I was going to wear to the party that evening. I put on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a billowy strapless summer top that was cream and had little blue flowers on it, a brown belt and a pair of wedge strappy sandals. I brought what makeup I had at the house and in my purse, it would work. And did my hair, it had grown out to my shoulders and I had it cut so the layers framed my face. By the time I was ready there was a knock at the door.

It was Gemma. We went to her house where we baked the afternoon away. I had missed her as surprised as I was. Things were getting tense when I lived in Charming so it was nice to see that things had cooled down while I was gone.

"So darlin' have you seen Juice yet?" She asked me as we were finishing up.

"No." I said trying to avoid thinking about him because that was all that running through my head. I had butterflies going double time in my stomach, it was to the point I thought I was going to be sick.

"You know he will be there tonight." She said to me like I didn't know.

"Oh believe me, I am well aware of that. Do you know does he know I am here?" I questioned

"I'm not sure." Gemma smiled at me. "I am sure he will be glad to see you. I bet his little whore wont."

_What?_ I thought…_His little whore?_ "He's seeing someone?" I asked. Like I should have cared because I was seeing AJ.

"Fuck, no one told you?! Fucking Happy. I told him to tell you so could prepare yourself if you needed to."

I looked at her, "It's fine Gemma. I've been seeing a really nice guy from the MC in Red Bluff."

"Sweetheart, I can see it written all over your face…You still love Juice."

"Is it that obvious?" I glanced at the floor and back up at her.

"Kylee, you never stop loving your first love." Gemma's face was distant as if she was remembering someone from her past.

I was about to ask her who she was thinking about when my phone rang in my bag. It was Happy.

"Hi Killer." I smiled.

"Where the fuck are you?" he sounded angry.

"What do you mean?"

"I am at your house and you are not here." He pretty much growled

"Shit, I'm with Gemma. I am sure I can catch a ride with her to the club house." I looked at her and she nodded.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." He hung up.

Shit an unhappy, Happy. "He's coming to get me but let me help you get this stuff into your car."

"Thanks sweetheart. It's good to have you back here, you should think about moving back. We have all missed you." She smiled at me.

"Oh yeah that would go over real well. I mean, I could have AJ over and we could invite Juice and his new flavor to my house." I imagined that would go over real well. There would be fist thrown one way or another, either mine or Juice's, AJ was a bit of a passivist. Which to me seemed strange because MCs and fighting seemed to go hand in hand.

Happy pulled up as Gemma and I finished bringing out the last load of food.

"Hey Gemma." Happy looked at her.

"Happy. Go easy on the girl, it was my fault she never called you. I had her wrist deep in flour all day." Saved by Gemma.

"Yeah, go easy on me." I gave him a pouty face.

"Fuck woman! I can't be angry at that face." He pinched my cheek.

"Ouch Happy." I swatted at him, "Let's get this over with." I felt sick to my stomach.

"Here. You look like you could use it." He handed me a flask. I opened it and drink the contents in one swill, the liquid burned going down and made my stomach more upset.

"Thanks." I wiped my lips off with my thumb.

"Fuck, you did need that." He shook it the flask upside down and only a few drops fell onto the driveway.

"I am scared fucking shitless." I whispered to him as I got onto the back of his bike. "Oh and why didn't you tell me about the whore?" I waved at Gemma who was getting going back into her house to lock up.

"First of all you have nothing to worry about if at any point you are done let me know I will bring you home. Second, I was going to tell you but well Opie and his family had their unfortunate accident. Plus you have the element of surprise on your side. He doesn't even know you are here." He kicked his bike to life and took off towards the club house.

We arrived and like usual the party was already in full swing, there were bikes parked all over the parking lot of Teller Morrow. The croweaters were out in full force, they were like cockroaches coming out of the woodwork for a good feeding. I felt the instant urge to turn around and leave. I took a deep breath before getting off of the bike from behind Happy. Happy took my hand into his after he got off the bike, and looked at me. I didn't know if he held my hand to keep me from running or to keep me from beating the shit out of a croweater. Either way it helped me focus.

"You'll be fine. Remember everyone here loves you and several of us have beat the shit out of the fucker for what he did." I nodded as we walked up to the club house. I caught some conversation of a few of the croweaters as we walked by them…

"Oh my god…_what?_...That is Kylee…_who?_...Juice's old lady, it's going to be interesting here tonight. _Then why is she with Happy?_ Beats the fuck out of me…maybe the rumors were true."  
I turned and shot them a dirty look if there was one think I learned from Happy it was the perfection of a scowl. They shut up pretty quickly, most of them had been around long enough to know what I did to Ima.

We walked into the club house and I wanted to drink about a gallon of vodka mixed with rum mixed with tequila. Happy pulled me up to the bar where there was a prospect working it. Of course poor fools.

"Jay, get me two beers and two shots of vodka, the strong shit!" Jay, who was a tall prospect, he had thick black hair and green eyes, passed the beers and shot over to him. Happy shoved the shots at me. "Drink!" I did as he said and immediately regretted it, the burned before I even got them into my mouth. Then Happy handed me my beer and passed me off to Tara.

I didn't have the courage to look around the club house yet. I needed my shots to kick in. I was happy Tara was there.

"Thank god you are here." I smiled at her.

"So how are things with AJ?" She asked.

"Well…" I paused thinking about the previous night. "He might be pissed off at me."

"What? Why?" She questioned me.

"He wanted to have phone sex last night and I for obvious reasons did not." I shrugged.

Tara laughed, "Are you serious?! Men are so fickle."

"Plus, I still don't know if I want to be with him. I mean he is good to me and sex is great but that is it. I don't burn for him. It's hard to go from every fiber of your being on high alert with someone to a guy who barely causes a spark."

Tara nodded and was about to say something when she looked somewhat concerned. I turned to look to see what she was looking at and there he was. Juice. I stared at him, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was exactly how I remembered him, stupid Mohawk, I had always like him better with hair, stupid smile that lit up the room. Juice stopped as soon as he saw me. His eyes instantly met mine, there was a bit of shock in his brown eyes. My heart sped up and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. I simultaneously was glad to see him but angry at him at the same time. The girl he was with, saw he was staring at me and turned his face towards her to draw his attention away from me. I looked at his and as she took it into hers, Donna didn't lie he was still wearing his wedding ring. My breathing hitched. She pulled him over to the corner of the room onto one of the couches where some of her croweater friends were. She evidently didn't know how things went, if you're an old lady you sit with the old ladies and let the guys do their thing. I saw her and the other eaters looking over at me and whispering.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked me.

"Hmm?" I looked back at her, she drew me away from my thoughts.

"You look like you are going to be sick."

"That is because I think I am." The shots had hit my empty stomach with a vengeance. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I felt better after I vomited up the vile liquid Happy fed me. I was sure that part of it was my nerves too. I stood up and walked out of stall as I was rinsing my mouth out and splashing water on my face the door opened and I heard a foot tapping the floor. I turned around and there was the girl Juice walked in with. She had on white hooker heels that made her about six inches taller than I was. Her hair was bleached blonde and she wore colored contacts to make her eyes look teal. Her dress looked like it had to be painted on her, just like her face full of makeup.

"He's mine whore." She said to me her word full of hate.

"What?" Was this really happening? She apparently didn't know what I did to Ima when she got in my business.

"Juice, he's mine." She growled at me as I started to walk towards the door. She stepped in my way.

"Move." I gave her an annoyed look. I was not in the mood to deal with some fucking whore's inadequacy issues.

"I saw how you looked at him. He is mine and I am going to be his old lady."

"That's great." I tried to get past her.

"Are we clear?" She sneered at me.

"I am sure he can decide what he wants to be with on his own. Move the fuck out of my way. I am not really in the mood to deal with you and your bullshit. I am here because my best friend and her family died so get out of my fucking way!" I pushed her out of my way. The advantage I had was I was sensible about my shoes and wore a pair of knee riding boots, so I had better balance.

I got out the doorway and she quickly followed me and grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me backwards. "I'm not done with you bitch!" She yelled at me.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." I tried to turn feeling my hair being pulled tightly, I winced in pain as I finally got her free. I shoved her to the ground. "Leave me the fuck alone stupid whore. I told you I wasn't in the mood for your fucking bullshit and I mean it!" I turned back around to see Chibs and Happy there to intervene if needed. I walked past Happy, "I'm done." I walked up to Juice who was talking with Bobby they were both oblivious to what just went down. He looked up at me and there was a spark of something in his eye that made me almost melt on the floor at his feet but I was so fucking angry because of the whore I could have punched him.

"Ky?" He said quietly with a small smile.

I furrowed my brow at him and then said my voice full of venom in. "Get your fucking whore in line! If she approaches me again tonight I will kill her." I was pretty serious about it to. I would take out all the pain I had built up over the years and take it out on her fucking face. I walked out of the club house and sat down on the far side of the boxing ring. I started to sob. I was spread thin emotionally. My phone rang in my pocket, I looked at the ID and it was AJ.

"Hello?" I tried to control my voice. But I knew it tremored some, because I had tears falling down my face and onto my chest.

"Baby? Are you okay?" He asked

"No, no I'm not. I can't do this... I love him. I never stopped and I can't…" I sobbed.

"Ky do you need me to come and get you?"

I cried harder, into the phone.

"Answer me, I will leave right now and be there in a few hours, do you need me to come and get you?"

I shook my head, "No. I need to be here for the funerals."

"If you need me. Call."

"Okay. Thanks, AJ…I really don't deserve you to care about me."

"Baby you deserve the world." He said. "Remember call if you need me."

"Okay." I hung up the phone. I heard footsteps. I figured it was Happy. "Happy, I just need a minutes." The tears had slowed down.

"Last time I checked I wasn't Happy." I turned and looked; it was Juice. I jumped up from where I was and was going to walk away but he gently grabbed my wrist. "Please don't go." I turned and looked at him he looked sad and wore down.

"Please just let me go Juice." His name lingered on my tongue. I tried to turn and go again.

"Kylee please just talk to me."

"About what? How my life has been an emotional hell for the last two years? How I can't sleep a night though if I am alone? Or shall we discuss how you have been fucking your way through every single one of the fucking croweaters in the clubhouse? Or maybe we should chat about how your want to be old lady just about ripped out my hair because I looked at you." I yelled, my heart hurt.

"No, I don't want to talk about that. I've missed you." He looked hurt by my words but he needed to know how I had been feeling all these years.

I let out a snorting laugh, "You've missed me?! Do you miss me when you dick is buried in all that pussies?"

"I wasn't the one who left Kylee!" He bit back. "I wasn't the one who gave up on us!"

"No? You didn't give up on us? Then what do you call fucking some croweater when we were still together because you couldn't believe your wife over the stupid whore who you fucked?! You gave up on us, Juice. I just made it final when I left I couldn't face you, Juice after what you did. After I saw you naked with that fucking slut." I was fighting off a sob.

"I was fucking stupid for doing that Kylee. I have never regretted anything more in my whole life. I ruined us. I get it, I remember the look on your face; it will be forever etched into my memory. I pay for it every day that I wake up and you aren't here. Every time I go to the house and it is empty." He let go of my wrist and touched my face. "I've missed you."

"You weren't the only one who paid for what you did." I had tears falling quickly down my face. How could I want to forgive him after everything? "You never came for me…" started to sob. He took me into his arms, I pushed him away. "No! You came here with her like I didn't exist."

"You always exist, you never stopped existing; he pulled my rings out from under his shirt. You were always with me Kylee. She is was just a cheap escape from my pain. No one has meant anything to me since you."

I let out a sob and I turned from him. "I can't do this right now, Juice." He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him and kissed me. His kiss was wanting and needful. I tried to push him away but I wanted him, I wanted his touch. As hurt as I was, I was also on fire. I could feel where his hands had been on my body. Both of our lips fought to possess the other. He hands went into my hair and grabbed tightly he tried to pull me closer to him. I finally ended the kiss, he smelt like home. "I can't Juice. I just can't." I said sadly as I turned and walked away.

Happy was walking out of the club house, "Take me home." I said to him. He nodded and like that we left.

**A/N: Sorry if you guys are upset I killed off The Winstons…I mean they are dead in the series…I needed something that would pull Kylee back to Charming. I had been going over what I could do for seriously months. And that is what happened sadly enough. Either was Juice and Kylee have seen each other and obviously still love each other. We'll see what happens. **


	27. Chapter 27

Ch 27

"Did he hurt you?" Happy asked when he dropped me off. He his face was on the verge of anger. But when I thought about it when wasn't it.

I looked up at him and shook my head, "No, he didn't hurt me." I remembered the white hot feeling I felt when he kissed me. I touched my lips. Happy stared at me. "I'm sorry for pulling you away from the party and the plethora of pussy."

He smirked, "Nah, they'll be there when I get back. I promised you if you needed to leave, I would take you home and I did that."

I was really grateful and amazed by his friendship. He had always been there when I needed him and I don't know what I would have done without him over the years. He had really taken over the place of Kip and surpassed him. I don't doubt that Kip would have done what Happy had done for me but Happy didn't have to. He could have just said '_fuck it'_ and just been done. But he never did and I know he would have done that with others.

"Thanks, Hap. I really appreciate it. I will see you tomorrow." I kissed his cheek, it had been a few days since had shaved his stubble scratched my lips.

"Night, Ky. Call if you need anything." He called after me as I walked to the house. I waved at him as he went. I didn't know what I would have done without my adoptive family at that point.

I sat down at the kitchen table and called Tara, I needed to tell someone about what happened with Juice. I couldn't have imagined gushing to Happy about it, oh my god I could and it didn't turn out nicely.

"Where are you?" She yelled over the background noise, it suddenly got quiet.

"I had Happy bring me home. After the run in with the slut and then Juice, I was done with my evening. I'm sorry. I was going to see if you wanted to come over here for a drink. It's quiet and it doesn't stink like rancid pussy."

She laughed into the phone. "Yeah, I'll be over shortly. I am done with this shit here anyway. It is getting to the point where there is a little too much sex and a little less partying. I'll tell Jax and be over. I want to hear all about what happened with you and Juice."

"What? How do you know anything happened?" I asked.

"It was written all over his face when he came in and you didn't come back."

I laughed slightly, "Well hurry your ass up and get over here."

Tara walked in about ten minutes later, just like she did when I living in Charming. She was carry a bottle of wine that she grabbed from the party. I pour us both a glass of it. I thought of the SOA members drinking wine out of wine glasses and it made me laugh. They tended to have the wine around for the old ladies and the whores that wanted to look a bit classier. Until they started to drink it straight out of the bottle.

"So spill." She said as I sat down across from her at the kitchen table.

"What did you hear? I will fill you in from there."

She smirked at me, "Well I know that you had a run in with the whore, she didn't shut the fuck up about it. I just about got up and shut her up but Juice put her in her place after he came back inside. She tried to tell him off for going after you. He went off on her, telling her if she ever tried to touch you again he would personally kill her. I don't know if she will be coming back to the club house. Ever!"

"Good." I had no sympathy for her. "So I was pretty much a mess when I went outside. AJ called and I was sobbing, I was going to break things off with him because I realized that Juice is who I want to be with. Even after what he did, I still want him and I know that more than ever right now. Especially after he kissed me."

Tara stared at me with a grin on her face. "He kissed you, and you didn't deck him?"

I laughed. "No. I tried to push him away but I was on fire for him and it felt so right. Tara, I haven't felt like that since he kissed me goodbye before the last run when all the shit went down with us. I can't forget what happened but I would be willing to work us on."

"What about AJ?" She brought my tumbling back down to earth. What about, AJ?

"I tell him the truth. I have always been honest with him. I don't want to hurt him though." I sighed. "He knew getting into things with me that I didn't know what I wanted. He has tried so hard to get me to fall in love with him but I never had any love to give because my heart belonged here."

"Took you long enough to realize that. Donna and I both knew it." The mention of Donna made me wince a bit. The sting of her not being around made my heart hurt. I missed her so much already. I remembered once she mentioned that she hoped her and Opie died together because she didn't want to live without him. She said that just thinking about made it hard for her to breathe. I would have given just about anything to spend one more minute with her, to let her know how much I cared about her and how much she meant to me. "Jax wanted to see if we wanted to say something at the funeral about Donna. He and some of the guys will be talking about Opie."

"Of course." I said solemnly. I knew I couldn't write anything because it would be too hard. It would just have to come from the heart. "I can't believe that it's tomorrow."

"I know. I still can't believe it's true." She looked at me sadly. We were supposed to be the old ladies who surpassed Gemma and lead in the new generation of Sons. As I was thinking about how so many of our dreams and plans had been destroyed over the past few years my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ky." It was Juice. My heart sped up, I got butterflies.

"Hey." I said quietly. Tara had an all knowing look on her face as got up and walked out of the kitchen.

"I just wanted to apologize if I overstepped your boundaries earlier tonight."

I didn't know what to say, because he didn't really overstep. "Um…you didn't cross any boundaries I didn't want crossed."

"I am, really sorry about the last two years. I didn't mean to break your heart. I fucked up! I promised you I would never hurt you and the first time I ever doubted you, I hurt you in the worst way possible. You were right when you said I ruined us, because I did." He paused for a second and then went on, "I was hoping you would be at the funeral but I didn't think you would have been at the party tonight. When I saw you…I instantly felt ashamed of who I am and who was with me. I saw the pain in your eyes and I was repulsed by myself. I also realized how much I have lost, you are even more beautiful than the first day I saw you. You took my breath away tonight."

There he was spilling his heart out to me and I didn't know what to say to him. "Juice…" I started

"Please don't say anything. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I love you, Kylee and I never meant for us to end up this way."

I wanted to ask him to come over. I wanted to have him hold me in his arms but I didn't. "I know Juice…I know." I said quietly.

"Night, Ky."

"Night, Juice." I sat there for a moment trying to collect my thoughts.

"Hey, I need to go. The boys' babysitter just called and Thomas is pitching a temper tantrum and she can't get him to calm down." She grabbed her bag off the table. I stood up and hugged her. "I am glad you're home. I think you should stay." She said to me as we parted.

"We'll see." I walked her to the door and waved to her as she left.

I awoke the next morning actually feeling refreshed, I had slept well overnight. I couldn't remember the last time that had happened. I stretched out on the bed and debated on going for a run but decided coffee sounded better. I stumbled out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Being home felt so good, it felt right. There was knock at my door as I finished starting the pot of coffee.

"Come in." I yelled from the kitchen, I hadn't locked my door, I felt safe in Charming.

"Hey." Happy said as he walked into the kitchen and made himself at home.

"Hi, you're up early." I glanced over at him.

"Yeah, we all stirred a bit early today. Kicked out the croweater before I fell asleep at the clubhouse. So what happened last night?"

I poured him a cup of coffee, I had missed how speedy the coffee pot was. I sat down at the table with him. "What do you mean what happened last night?" I knew what he wanted to know but I wanted him to say it.

"Fuck woman, you know what I want to know. Juice seemed to be in a good mood after you left."

I rolled my eyes at him. "We talked, okay I yelled and cried while he listened and apologized. Did you know he wears my rings?"

"Is that all that happened? And yeah I knew he had your rings still."

"Shit, why are you so interested in what happened?" I took a drink of my coffee.

"I want to be sure you are going to be okay and he isn't going to hurt you again. Kylee, even if you don't think so, I care about you more than anyone in this world and if he hurts you I will kill him this time." He had his scary killer face on. I believe him.

"Why am I not surprised that you would kill him? I figured so much, Happy. But if I ever let him in enough to hurt me again I will kill him if he hurts me." I scowled at him. "I've missed him if you must know."

"If he fucks one of those whores while you are here or if you decide to be with him I will feed him his dick."

"Oh my god Happy. I don't think he will ever do that again. If I decide to work on things with him; he will know what will happen to him including his unfortunate penis removal and ingestion." I said seriously to Happy because I knew that I wanted to possibly and work things out with Juice.

"Well as long as he knows." He got up and kissed my forehead. Watched him as he poured himself another cup of coffee. He wasn't wearing his normal white shirt under his cut. He had on a long sleeve black shirt. It made me think about what we were actually doing to do during the day. We would lay to rest our friends and their children. It broke my heart. Tears started to well in my eyes and stream down my face. What I wanted more than anything is to have Donna walk through my door and tell me it was a just a mistake, that they were not really dead. "Ky, are you okay?" Happy asked as he sat back down at the table.

"Yeah, I miss Donna. I keep wanting her to walk through the door and tell me it was just a ploy to get me to Charming. But there is that part of me that knows that it isn't going to happen." I wiped the tears that were falling from my eyes. "I should go get ready." I walked to my bedroom. I had already picked out what I was going to wear. I dressed in a black dress that had a lace top, it was form fitting and a pair of black patent leather heels. I knew that I was riding with Happy to the funeral since he was already there. I figured I would catch a ride back with Tara, not knowing how long I could handle being there. If anything I could always walk back it was only a few miles. I curled my hair which I had not done in months. I went with minimal make up know that I was going to cry and I didn't need make up all over my face. So light shimmer eye shadow and waterproof mascara it was.

I walked out into the kitchen where Happy was lounged. He gave me a small grin, "You look nice, Ky."

I smiled at him, "Thanks Killer. You don't look bad yourself." I patted him on the chest.

"Should we get this done with?" He asked me, it seemed so final. I didn't want to get it done because then I wouldn't have to come to the realization that Donna, Opie and the kids were really gone.

I swallowed hard, "Yeah let's go." I stopped in the doorway; turned to face Happy who was behind me and hugged him. "Hap?" He looked down at me. "I'm so grateful for everything you have done for me and helped me through. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I know." He pulled me tighter to him and kissed the top of my head. "Now stop getting all sentimental with me and let's go say goodbye to our friends." I nodded as I followed him out to his bike.

I had Happy drop me off at the graveyard before the funeral. The Sons were all going to accompany the hearses to the sites. Fuck hearses that sound broke my heart I didn't want to think about it but I knew I was going to be slapped in the face with it when they arrived. While I was waiting I walked over to my brother's grave site, I hadn't been to his grave in a few years. I sat there and just enjoyed the silence before the storm. I decided after about ten minutes of sitting at Kip's grave site I would walk back to the site of the Winston's funeral. Tara was just walking up, she had on black pencil skirt and a button up black blouse. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she had also went with minimal make-up.

"Hey." She gave me a small smile as she took my hand into hers.

"Hi." We walked over to the chairs and sat down by the four empty graves. The sounds of Harleys roaring in the distance disturbed the silence. My stomach was upset and I felt sick. I didn't want to be a part of the funeral, but here I was losing my best friend and her family forever.

Members of Samcro were the pallbearers, they each helped carried in a family member. I hadn't realized that I was still holding on to Tara's hand. Neither of us let go as the caskets arrived. I could feel the tears falling from my eyes and down my cheeks. I wiped them away with my free hand as someone handed me a Kleenex. I looked over my shoulder to thank the person and saw it was Juice. He knew me well enough to know I wouldn't have any. I gave him a look of gratitude and he nodded at me as I turned back to face the reality of the day. The funeral started with the pastor speaking words about how Opie, Donna and the kids were walking in peace with the Lord. Was it wrong of me to want to say that I selfish and I wanted them back to walk with us?

Jax got up first to talk about Opie. He had tears in his eyes but did not shed them. "Opie was more than just a member of our club, he was my best friend, my brother. We grew up together, we always knew we would be members of SAMCRO and our old ladies would be best friends and our kids would grow up together and become members themselves. Unfortunately their lives were cut too short…" Jax paused. "We will miss you, brother."

He nodded in my direction after he laid flowers on each of the caskets. I didn't know if I could get up and talk about Donna at that point. My heart-ached for her if only to say goodbye. I took a deep breath and Tara squeezed my hand tightly before releasing it. I wiped the tears from my eyes and walked up to where Jax was just standing.

"To many of you, Donna was just Opie's old lady but to a select few of us she was so much more. When I first came to Charming, she opened me with welcome arms and loved me like a sister. She was always one who would be the first one to offer help and not ask for anything in return. She was selfless and a true friend…" I let out a small sob as I wiped the tears from my face. I had to end my speech soon because I would too soon be up there sobbing, sniveling mess. "Donna was a wonderful mother, an even better old lady and exactly what a friend should be. The loss of Donna, Opie and the kids will forever leave a void that no one could fill." I placed flowers on all the caskets and took my seat next to Tara who took my hand into hers again.

The rest of the funeral went by quickly, a few more people got up and told stories about Opie, Donna or the kids. For some reason this funeral was harder to take then Kip's was. I wondered if it was because Kip and I hadn't been close in years or if it was because it the loss of a whole family that broke me so deeply. Either way I was spent by the time the funeral was over from the silent tears that were shed. Tara and I walked arm in arm towards her car, we were going to drive to the clubhouse together. Where a smaller party was about to take place, club members, old ladies and friends of the family. No whores allowed.

"Kylee?" Juice's voice called out from behind us. My heart jumped into overdrive. Tara and I both turned to look at him running up from behind us. Tara threw me a look and a small smile. "Hey Tara." He greeted her. She smiled at him. Juice touched my arm gently, "Can we talk?" He asked with a spark of hopefulness in his eyes.

Tara looked over at me, I knew she wanted to know if I was okay with that or if she needed to step in. I gave her a nod and small smile as I let go of her arm. "Yeah."

"Do you want me to wait for you?" Tara asked.

"I'll bring her to the clubhouse." Juice said quietly. Tara must have thrown him a look. "Shit Tara, can you cut me some slack here, it's not like I am going to let anything happen to her."

"Isn't that what you said when you took your vows?" I laughed a bit at her biting remark to Juice.

"Tara. I'll be fine. Look they are already lining up to kick his ass if he doesn't." I pointed over at Happy and Chibs who were watching us closely. They had become overprotective. I gave Happy a look to let him know that I was going to be fine. He acknowledged that with a nod. As Juice and I walked away from crowd of people towards the quietness of the graveyard, I turned to him and said, "You know Happy threatened to cut off your dick and feed it to you."

"I deserve so much worse." He murmured.

We walked in silence for a few minutes as we reached a large mausoleum where we sat on the stairs. Being close to him made my stomach do flips, well if it could do that. This was the first time we were truly alone since the day he and I fought. He took my hand into his and traced the lines on the palm of my hand, it felt too intimate to me; I closed my hand and placed it in my lap.

"I'm sorry." He said realizing that he might have stepped over the line that I wasn't ready to have crossed.

I shook my head, "It's fine."

"How long are you in town?" He asked me.

I hadn't even thought about it, "I don't know." I knew that Brendan wouldn't care how much time I took off so I didn't have to worry about that. "I am kind of at mercy of the club, I suppose when someone can get away and bring me back." I looked at my hands, it felt as if his hand was still on them.

"Oh." I could feel his eyes on me. I looked over at him and he gave me butterflies. His eyes were warm and inviting. "You are so beautiful." He said as he touched the side of my face. I closed my eyes and wished we could wash away everything that had happened over the last two years and be at good place but we couldn't.

I opened my eyes and his face was inches from mine. I instinctively wanted to kiss him but my heart held me back from doing so. I pulled back a bit, Juice moved back quickly. I bit my lip, "I have something to tell you." I looked at him sadly.

"Alright." His eyes searched my face.

I took a deep breath, "I've been seeing someone in Red Bluff."

Juice looked at me sadly, "Is he good to you?"

"Better than I deserve." Was all I could say, because really AJ loved me and I didn't have any love to give him; I cared about him but that was all I had.

"Why do you say that? You deserve the world, the world I couldn't give you." He said sadly.

"I have nothing to give to him." Thinking about how much I held back when I was with AJ, I was only partially myself when I was with him.

"I did that to you, didn't I? Did I ruin you?" He asked.

I let out a small laugh, "I am not ruined Juice, I just don't love him. I care about him but I gave my love away a long time ago…"

"I wish I could give you back that day." Juice was staring off like he was remembering the day as he continued. "You looked so damn happy to see me. I was so angry I couldn't see past my rage. The look on your face when I threw the bottle and got in your face, it's painful to think about. I got into it with Happy when he said nothing happened. I still didn't believe him and thought he was saving face. I licked my wounds with a bottle of tequila and the whore, who told me the lie…"

"Juice please…" I didn't want to re-experience that day with him. I relived it enough by myself.

He continued, "That night I was hoping you would come and find us fucking. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. But when you walked in and I saw your face, your beautiful face washed over with pain and panic." He frowned as he remembered. "Part of me knew I was a fucking idiot. I heard you sobbing and panic-stricken as you tried to get out of the club house but part of me didn't care, because I was still convinced I knew the truth. Chibs came in and beat the shit out of me right then and there. He said that I was a fucking asshole for hurting you, he said if I ever touched you again he would make sure I met Mr. Mayhem. I didn't know how right he was at that moment. I called so many times and you didn't answer. I was anxious and worried but Happy and Chibs made sure that I gave you space and didn't go to the house. Little did I know you had already left Charming and on your way to Ireland. I realized how much I had lost when I walked into the house for the first time after you were gone. The drawers were strewn all over the room, lights were left on and your rings were on my night stand. Our life together was over. I would go there pretty much every night and still do. It wasn't long after you left, your smell left your pillow and I tried to find things that would smell like you but I couldn't. I couldn't feel you there anymore…"He paused again…but then went on, "When Happy told me you took your own life. I broke. I was happy enough to live in a world where you didn't acknowledge me anymore knowing you were safe and alive and when I would occasionally hear your name in passing conversations but never in a world without you. When he came back from Tacoma and said you were alive and that he lied to me because I was a stupid bastard. I was just relieved you were still alive and I realized that I just wanted you to be happy. I want you to have a life that makes that possible with or without me. Kylee I love you but if you need to be with someone else to make your happiness come true then I will accept that and leave you alone and never bother you again. I don't blame you if you never forgive me, because I can't forgive myself for what I did to you."

I sat there quietly for several moments, thinking about everything he said to me. "I forgave you a while ago." I confessed quietly. I looked over at him and took his hand into mine. Juice brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. I felt tears fall from my eyes. "I can't trust you and a relationship without trust is nothing." I stood up from where I was sitting. "We should get to the club house." He nodded and walked with me towards his bike. The people had cleared out and the graveyard was peaceful and quiet. I glanced towards the place where the Winston's were laid to rest and they were just mounds of dirt. "Can you take me by the house so I can change?"

"Yeah sure." Juice handed me his helmet and he got onto his bike. I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Memories of the first time we went on a ride together washed over me and the way he made me feel. I smiled into his back. He smelt like home.

It only took about five minutes to get to my house. I got off of his bike and he sat there. "Are you coming in?" I looked back at him. He gave me a slightly shocked look.

"Yeah, I didn't think you would want me to." He said.

"Why? I don't tend to leave people sitting outside while I change. I am not a heathen Juice." I walked into the house.

"It smells good in here." He smiled at me. "It smells like you."

I laughed, "Well I am glad that I smell good." I walked into the bedroom that we once shared. I changed into a lacy black shirt and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and put my heels back on. While I was walking back out the living room where Juice was standing I couldn't help but think about how short life was. How quickly and fleeting it was. I was sick of being sad.

"You ready to go?" He turned and asked me. I looked at him and nodded. As we were starting to head out he was ahead of me and I grabbed ahold of his arm. He turned and looked at me. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded and pulled him towards me. _Carpe Diem_! I thought to myself as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. It was a different kiss from the night before. It wasn't as demanding or needing. It was gentle and full of passion. I think I took him off guard at first because it took him a second to realize what was going on before he put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I could feel his heart pounding hard and quick through his cut. I don't know how long we kissed but it felt like forever. As we parted I smiled at him coyly.

"That was nice." I turned to lock the door like nothing happened and like we kissed every day.

"I feel taken advantage of." Juice teased as he got on his bike.

I laughed at him. "Really? Are you telling me that you didn't want me to do that?" I got onto the bike and wrapped my arms around him.

"I can't lie. I've wanted to kiss you since I kissed you last night. Your lips feel so perfect against mine." He kicked his bike to life. Could it be that easy for us to fall back into things? If it was why was I running for so long?

I leaned up next to his ear, "Don't you dare think that this means you are getting into my knickers."

He laughed. "Never." It would be a while before that would happen and he would be getting tested for STDs if I decided to let him back into my bed. Which I knew in my heart would happen because I wanted him like a moth wanted to get the flame. Now I would have to tell AJ….

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I have been working on getting things ready for my class I teach as well as taking some classes myself. SO hopefully now that things are going together well; I will be able to write a bit more. As you read this I am probably writing the next chapter. I will be concluding this story soon…**** have no fear there is at least two chapters if not three left. I have another one I started writing already which is actually a spin-off of SOA Season 7. A 'what if' story…Let me know what you think of Juice and Kylee getting back together should it happen or not? What about AJ? **


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

I walked into the club house before Juice, who had stopped outside talk to one of members from Rogue River. I started towards the table where Gemma and Tara were sitting but I was side tracked by Happy, who grabbed my arm roughly.

"Ouch! Happy, let go." I struggled to get my arm free as he pulled me back to the club apartments and shoved me into one of rooms. He had never been rough with me so I was assuming something big was going on. He followed me in and slammed the door behind him. I looked around the room and it had to be his, it was fastidiously neat. One of his quirks. The man can kill without remorse but if there was a crumb on the floor he freaked out. Things had to be clean.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He had a scowl on his face.

"What do you mean?" I bit back, did it really matter that much to him.

"I will not pick you up off the ground again if he hurts you!" He growled at me.

"I thought we had this conversation this morning Happy." I frowned at him.

"Well I didn't think you would hop back in the sack with him so quickly." His nostrils flared a bit. I started to laugh at Happy, I laughed so hard that I fell onto the bed. I couldn't control myself. "What the fuck, Kylee?"

"Do...you…think…that…is…ha ha ha ha…what happened?" I tried to say while I laughed at him. Oh poor Happy, all worked up because he thought we had sex and he didn't want me to get hurt.

"Well you changed and you were gone long enough." He puffed up.

I stood up and walked over to him and patted him on the chest. "Down Killer. Nothing happened. We talked and he brought me home to change. And if my dominating brother figure must know, _I_ kissed him and told him if thinks he's getting in my panties he is wrong. He knows where we stand, he knows I don't trust him and it will take a lot to get that back but Happy, I love him. Being here feels right, just like he does. I want to come home." Happy's demeanor changed completely as he calmed down.

"My threat stands, Kylee." He warned me.

"Oh I know, you should probably tell him that and not keep repeating it to me. I mean I wasn't the one whose dick was in someone else. Umm…wait that sounded bad, didn't it. But you know what I mean." I stumbled over my words.

"I will, take it up with him." Happy opened the door. "I lied." He said to me, I looked at his curiously. "I would pick you up off the ground if you needed me to."

I smiled at him. "I know you would and I won't tell anyone that I broke through the ice cold, stone-hard, rock you call a heart."

"Woman, you better not." He smacked my ass hard as we walked out of the back rooms. "You would pay severely for that if you did." He grimaced at me.

"I am aware that Killer. But I think I would give you a run for your money." I smirked at him as I walked up to the bar. He raised his eye brow at the thought and laughed. Cook was behind the bar serving drinks. "Hey Cook." I smiled at him. His hair was still a floppy mess of black on his head and big hazel eyes.

"Shit, Kylee how are you? I heard you were back but I hadn't seen you." He smiled back at me as he handed me a beer.

"I'm doing better than I have been a long time." He was wearing his cut that no longer said prospect. "So you're a full-fledged member now, I see."

He looked down at his cut, "Yeah. It gets me the ladies." He joked.

"Oh I bet." He wasn't a bad looking guy, he was nice enough so I wasn't surprised he could get the ladies. "Any prospective old ladies?" I asked.

"Nah. No one interesting enough. The croweaters have been through everyone else so they aren't worth my time and the non-club girls run away when they sense trouble." He was honest about it. It was the truth, normal girls would run from half the shit that I had seen with this club. I guess I wasn't normal since I seemed to run towards it and not away.

I nodded in agreement. "Well thanks for the beer, Cook it was good to see you." I smiled as I went to sit with Tara and Gemma. They both stared at me. "WHAT?" I looked back at them. I knew they were about to ask me about everything that just happened with Juice and Happy.

"Sweetheart, what the fuck just happened?" Gemma asked, her motherly face on in full force.

"When?" So much had happened in the past two hours my mind was in a bit of a swirl. "Are you talking about Happy accosting me or Juice?" I raised my eye brows

"Both?!" Tara piped in with a look of curiosity flashing across her face. She knew I would fill her in either way and I knew it was killing her not knowing what happened when I was with Juice.

"Juice and I talked and Happy accused me of having sex with him and it pissed him off because he is the only one from Charming who saw how really broken I was. He doesn't want me to get hurt again. I had to reassure him that I won't let that happen. He threatened Juice's life and penis but I told him he needed to tell him that and not me because there is only so much I can relay." I looked at them both and then added. "Oh and I have decided that I am most likely moving back to Charming."

"WHAT?" Tara yelled loudly with excitement. Most of the people around us turned and looked at her. "When were you going to tell us?"

"Um, I just decided. I want to come home." I said as I heard someone walk up behind me. I looked up and it was Juice.

"Were you going to tell me?" He asked quietly.

"I just decided." I stood up and took my shoes off and stood on the chair. "Hello can I have everyone's attention…." Everyone turned to me, Jax gave me a crazy look and I shrugged at him. "Just so we can get this over with and I am not asked why I didn't tell anyone. I have decided I miss my family and I am coming home." There were some whooping and clapping as I stepped down from the chair and was instantly taken into the arms of Chibs.

"You're making the right decision, love. Glad you have finally came to your senses. We've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Chibs." I kissed him on the cheek.

"You seem happy. Are you?" He looked at me sternly as he held me at arms-length.

"I am. I'm starting to feel more like myself than I have in years." I smiled at him.

"That's good to hear. You know if he fucks things up again he won't be long for this world." He said to me.

"Oh I am aware of that, maybe you and Hap should talk with him about that." I smiled at him.

"Aye, I think we will." He turned and yelled in Happy's direction. "Happy, we need to have a talk with our brother here." He put his arm around Juice who had just sat down at the bar with Koziak. He tugged Juice towards the door. He looked back at me with a somewhat worried look on his face and I shrugged at him. It was nice to know I had an overbearing, overly protective family.

"They love you, sweetheart." Gemma motioned to the two morons bringing Juice outside.

I smiled knowing that I was extremely lucky to have them as my protectors. "Oh, believe me I am aware of that. There has never been a moment when I doubted how much either of them have cared for me. They met me at the airport when I came home from Ireland. I don't think that was easy for either of them to see me." Gemma gave me a quizzical look. "I had lost about 15 pounds when I was in Ireland, but I guess that is what a diet of liquor and not eating does to a girl. I am almost back to what I was before all this shit happened. I am more fit then I have been in years though." I thought about how much I hated myself and how long it took me to start loving me again.

"Well darlin' we are happy to have you and your skinny ass back here." She smiled at me.

The rest of the party went pretty well. Juice came back in about twenty minutes later with Happy and Chibs trailing behind him. He was slightly pale but smiled at me. I was reassured my Chibs I wouldn't have any trouble with a straying Juice again. I knew that, I didn't need them to assure me of that. Towards the end of the night Jax came up to sit with me, Gemma had went to get a drink and Tara had just left to relieve the babysitter.

"How you doin' darlin'?" He asked me.

"I'm hanging in there. How are you?" I looked at him, he looked sad.

"I'm okay. I miss Op, going to ask Bobby to take over the VP spot." He glanced back at the big man who did a kick ass Elvis impersonation.

"I think he would be a good choice." I smiled back at Jax.

"We need a favor, Ky…" He looked at me seriously. "The club does that is."

I figured it would be money, they were trying to go legit and money was always a need. "Sure, what do you need?"

"Juice? Hap?" He called them to the table with us. The both sat down. "I need Kylee to help tomorrow." I could tell instantly by the look on both Juice and Happy's faces that they were not okay with it.

"Fuck no, Jackson." Happy said sternly.

"Okay what do you need? Happy, I am a big girl and I can make my own decisions." I glanced over at him, slightly annoyed that he was trying to control stuff.

"We have a meeting set up with Irish tomorrow to end our hand in the gun business. I thought it would be good to have a familiar face with us. Plus Seamus has been asking about you." He said.

"Oh my god, Happy. If Seamus is there I will be absolutely safe. He killed his own brother for me, do you really think he would let anything happen to me? I have also known most of the members for half of my life. I stayed with some of them when I was in the North the last time." I looked at Happy who still scowled at me and then at Juice who looked slightly relieved. I would be damned if I would not be able to make my own decisions in life.

"Good." Jax said. There might have been something that I didn't know but I would help the club out however I could it was least I could do for their support when Juice and I were apart. "I'll have someone pick you up tomorrow morning."

"I'll pick her up." Juice volunteered. I wasn't surprised.

"Since you are volunteering, do you want to take me home?" I smiled at him.

"Yeah I can do that." He smiled back at me.

"We have chapel in 30 minutes." Jax said.

"Alright, I'll drop off Ky and head back." Juice stood up from the table at the same time I did.

I looked at Happy who gave Juice a look and which softened when he looked at me. "I will see you tomorrow, Killer. Bye Jax." I grinned at both of them as I walked out of the club house with Juice.

I was still exhilarated riding on his bike with him. My heart fluttered quickly. We reached the house too quickly. I got off the bike sadly, I could have ridden with him all night. He smiled at me when he saw the look of disappointment on my face. "Don't worry tomorrow will be a longer ride." He walked with me up to the door, I felt like we were teenagers.

"Thanks for bringing me home tonight, Juice." I smiled at him.

I wanted him to pull me into his arms and kiss me with every fiber of my being. It was like he knew it, he put his arms around me and gently pulled me towards him. "You know I could get killed for doing this." He joked as his kissed me. I placed my arms around him and embraced him in a hug as well. When we parted he, looked down at me. "I will see you tomorrow." He kissed my forehead.

"Bye Juice." I waved at him and watched him drive away. I went into the house and took a shower. There was a knock on the door, I had just finished putting on my pajamas. I had thought I heard a bike pull up. I walked to the door thinking it was Juice or Happy. I opened it with a big smile on my face that instantly turned into shock.

"What aren't you happy to see me?" I was instantly taken into two large arms and hugged into a chest.

"AJ, what are you doing here?" I asked him, still a bit shocked as I pulled him into the house.

He looked at me with disappointment, "Well that wasn't the kind of welcome I was hoping for…I am here because of the phone call from last night. Kylee you sounded so broken, I needed to make sure you were okay."

"A phone call would have worked, AJ." I said quietly as I walked into the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"

"A beer if you have one. And you never answered your phone, I called like six times today. I was worried something happened to you."

"Fuck…I forgot my phone at home, it wasn't on the top of my list of things today." I sighed as I handed him a beer.

"How are you holding up sweetheart?" He tried to pull me close to him but he noticed my distance. "Are you okay?"

"We need to talk." I replied quietly as I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch, he sat on the one near me. I didn't want to do this now but I guess it was better now than leading him on. "I told you I would always be honest with you because I would want that from you. AJ when you called last night I had seen Juice for the first time in two years, he was with some nasty skag, who pretty much pulled a fist full of my hair out of my head. If it wasn't the fact that I was there for Donna, Opie and the kids I would have laid her out flat but it seemed disrespectful to do that there." He flinched slightly at me mentioning violence towards another. He had never experience the real me. He only knew the broken me, it made me wonder if he would have wanted me, if he had met me before Juice and I had separated. "I told Juice off and you called. The thing is I had realized when I saw him, I wanted him. He has always been the one I wanted." I paused thinking about where I was going to go with this. "AJ, you are an amazing and wonderful man and you are going to make some woman really happy but just not me." I looked at him sadly.

He sat there in silence and then he finally said, "You love him even after what he did to you?"

I nodded, "Even after he broke me. I still love him. Please don't think I didn't try with you because I did AJ. I care so much for you but nothing can compare to how I feel about Juice. AJ you ignited something in me that hadn't been alive in a long time, you taught me that I could feel again. You taught me forgiveness and peace. You have healed me in a way that Happy and myself couldn't do. I will forever be grateful for that."

"But how can you love him still?" He was hung up on that. "He treated you like a piece of shit and you are going to go running back to him. He didn't even come looking for you. Kylee, it took me a day to find your address here and almost three hours to get to you, he never did that." AJ was pleading with me.

"AJ, I still love him because he saved me. There is so much you do not know about me." I looked down at the floor in my house.

"I've got all the time in the world right now tell me…" He said quietly. I didn't know if I was ready to share my story with him but it was least I could do.

I took a deep breath, "When I first came to Charming it was for my brother's funeral, I was in a relationship with a man in Ireland who was not a good person. I stayed longer than I originally intended because the people here made me feel like a person again, like I was a part of a family. I fell in love with Juice then but I went back to Ireland because I found out I was pregnant with Liam's baby. I knew if he found out and I had never went back he would have killed me and Juice. I left the only people who had shown me unconditional love that I forgot was even something people could do. Don't get me wrong I have some wonderful friends who live in Northern Ireland but a majority of the people I met there had ulterior motives for loving me. Liam saw me as property." I stopped for a moment and got up to get us each another beer. AJ took the beer from me. Then I sat down and started telling my story again. "So I went back leaving Juice behind and it broke my heart doing it but I knew it was the best for us." I left out the part about Ima out. "Liam and his friends beat me up one night and killed my baby. He thought it was Juice's baby. I had to face him every day for a few weeks before the Sons showed up and to bring me home. They didn't know that I had lost the baby and I was rude to them because I was ashamed of what happened to me. Obviously I got away from Liam and I don't need to worry about him or his associate anymore." I smiled thought about that night in the SAMBEL club house and how good it felt to shoot Jonah. "Juice brought me back to life. His love saved me in so many ways." AJ sat there quietly, so I went on, "I told you when we first started dating that I cared for him still and I didn't know if I could love anyone else. You knew what you were getting into." He looked at me sadly and stood up. "AJ please stay, you came all this way, at least spend the night and don't drive home in the dark."

"I don't know, Kylee." He started at me.

"Please just don't leave. If something were to happen to you…" I trailed off thinking about how horrible I would feel. "Plus you have had drinks."

He sighed deeply. "Fine." He was exasperated. "I had fallen in love with you," he admitted to me, looking at me with a small smile.

"You're in love with someone you don't even know. The girl you fell in love with has beaten the shit out of girl and threatened to kill another. A girl who allowed herself to be abused and controlled for years by a man she thought she loved, a man whose friend she shot and was willing to shoot him for her freedom. She has also knowingly allowed members of SAMCRO kill several members of a rival gang because they intended to kidnap her, rape her and cut her into pieces. She's turned a blind eye to bloody clothes and warm guns and never asked why. The girl you feel in love with doesn't really exist, she was just fragments of who I really am." I looked at him. I needed him to know he didn't really know me. "AJ, I never meant to hurt you. I didn't come home knowing that I was going to end up with Juice or react to him the way I did or even expect him to still want me."

"He would be stupid if he didn't still want you." He muttered as he looked at me. "Kylee I knew exactly who you were when I met you. You might have done all those things but you are a good person and that is what I saw. You willingly helped Brendan with his bar without asking for anything in return…"I opened my mouth to protest but he held his hand as he continued. "I know he isn't paying you very much because you told him you wouldn't accept it. I have seen how you have befriended the people who come into the bar. The way you interact with Happy and your friends when they came in from Charming. I know who you are. Who cares about a dark past we all have those, our club has only been legit for a little over 5 years or did you forget that…I know what violence comes with MCs, I have been a part of that."

He seemed so gentle to me, was he hiding things as well things about himself that I didn't know about? "I haven't forgot AJ. But you just seem like the type of person who wouldn't lift a gun against someone."

"You would be surprised what I am capable of Kylee." He had a grave look in his eyes.

He was such a good man, I didn't want to lose his friendship after everything was said and done. He really did mean a lot to me. "AJ?" He looked at me. "Can we still be friends after this? After I step away from us?"

He smiled at me. "I will always be here for you Kylee, I don't think I will ever stop loving you."

I laughed at him softly, "I'm sure that you will find someone who will love you more than you ever thought was imaginable. Laura really likes you." I suggested.

"Laura?" He looked at me. "She isn't you."

"No she isn't me. But she likes you a lot. I've watched her when you around…sometimes jealously." I smirked at him. There were plenty of times when I went into Brendan's with AJ and she was eye fucking him. It made me angry but I held back because that wasn't in me when I was in Red Bluff I didn't say anything. "She would make you a good old lady."

He looked at me. "I haven't thought about her Ky, because of you." He looked thoughtfully at me, "Do you think if I asked her out she would say yes?"

"Oh my god, she would jump at the chance to date you. I have seen it in her yes. She is jealous of me and she wants you more than anything." I told him I was going to say more by my phone rang. I glanced down at it, it was Happy. "I have to take this." I told AJ, he nodded. "What's up Hap?" I answered, I didn't want him to think that I was ending our conversation for Juice. Granted I would have but I wanted to be in a good place with him.

"What the fuck are you thinking going tomorrow?" He growled into the phone.

"What you mean? I am helping the club out." I said defending my decision as I left the room I was in and went into the kitchen.

"You must not realize how bad it had gotten between us and the Irish." He said.

I hadn't realized that it was bad between SAMCRO and the Irish however I assumed it would be hard to get out of business with them. That is probably why Jax wanted me to go along because I had ties with most of them. "I didn't realize Hap. However, I will be fine, especially if Seamus is there. Plus I have my bad ass biker family watching over me."

"You do have us, and I'll be damned if we would let anything happen to you."

"See I will be fine. I have to go Hap, I have company."

"Juice?" He questioned.

"No, unexpected company." I looked out into the living room where AJ was sitting and drinking his beer. "AJ showed up." I said quietly into the phone.

"I thought you ended things with him."

"Um, I hadn't until he got here…obviously today has been filled with things other than dealing with my personal issues. He hadn't heard from me so he decided to come here." I was slightly annoyed with the whole situation.

"Does Juice know?" He asked.

"No I haven't talked to him since he left." I said, "I am planning on sending him a message a little bit later. Happy I should go I am being rude to AJ. I will see you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah. Sleep well."

I laughed at him. "Will do Killer. Night." I ended the call. "Sorry about that. Happy." I said I walked back into the living room. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

"You look tired." AJ said to me.

"I am. I just want today to be done." I yawned. "Would I be horrible hostess if I went to bed?" I asked.

"Absolutely now. Your couch looks comfortable so I will sleep here." He patted the couch.

"No there is a spare room next to the bathroom. Second door on the right. Please stay in there." I walked over to him and bent over kissing his cheek. "Thank you for being so understanding AJ."

"Yeah. That's me Mr. Understanding." He smirked. "Night, Ky."

"Night." I said as I walked into my room. I sat down on my bed and dialed Juice's number, I still remembered it by heart.

He answered on the second ring, "And what do I owe the honor?" I could hear the smile on his face.

"I need to tell you something." I confessed.

"I hope you are calling to tell me you miss me and that you want me in bed next to you." As much as I would love him in bed next to me that wouldn't make for a good situation.

I laughed, "You wish."

"Actually I do." He admitted.

I smiled at his admission. "Juice. AJ showed up at my door tonight."

There was silence on the other end of the line. I heard him sigh deeply. "Is he still there?"

"Yes." I said quietly. "He is sleeping in the spare room. I broke things off with him tonight, Juice."

"So it's true, you are really staying here?"

"Yes." I replied to him.

"Good. Will you let me take you out on a date sometime?" He asked.

I smiled, he had never asked me out on a date and it gave me butterflies just thinking about it. "I might be able to find time on my busy schedule for that." I teased him.

"Well at least it isn't a no. You should get some sleep Ky. I will be there around ten tomorrow. I lo…" he stopped himself. I knew he was going to tell me he loved me but stopped himself.

"Okay, Juice. I'll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams."

"Night Kylee." He said quietly into the phone as he hung up. I laid there a while with the phone on my chest thinking about him. I missed the way he smelt, the way he would hold me at night even if I woke up too hot. I wanted him and only him.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

I woke up quite early the next morning and smiled happily, I felt like I was getting my life back. I had actually slept well every night since I had got back to Charming. It was a nice feeling, the feeling of sleeping the night through. I crawled out of bed and was instantly aware that there was someone else in the house. Soft snores filled the hallway. I had almost forgotten that AJ was still over. I went quietly into the kitchen to start coffee and make some breakfast. I was happy that Juice had stocked the kitchen, he must have been staying at my house more than he actually told anyone. I made a big meal because I didn't know how long the Irish thing would take or when I would get food. I made breakfast potatoes, eggs and bacon. When breakfast was just about done I heard the padding of bare feet behind me. I turned to see AJ staring at me from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Mmm. Morning." He said as he stretched his muscular body and ran his hands over his thick blond hair.

"Morning. Would you like some breakfast?" I asked as I started to plate the food.

He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I handed him a plate of food and then a cup of coffee. "Thanks, Ky." He smiled politely at me. "Did you sleep well?"

"You're welcome. Yeah, I did sleep well. I guess it something about being back home that makes ones soul calm." I smiled as I sat down across from him.

"So what's you plan for today?" He asked

"I have to go with the club today. Juice will be here around 10 this morning." I glanced over at the clock and it was 8:30 am. My guess was he was going to show up earlier then he originally said now that he knew that AJ was at the house.

"Oh. When are you coming back to Red Bluff?" He asked me. I knew he was hoping that he might still be able to work things out with me.

"I don't know. I should probably tell you now, I have decided to move back to Charming. I miss my family, I miss my home." I took a bite of my breakfast, I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I ate a little bit the night before but not a whole lot, it was funny how sorrow tended to be the best way to curb my appetite.

"I figured as much, especially since you want to spend more time with Juice again." He said in between bites. "You're a good cook." He smiled at me.

I laughed, "Thanks, I try."

"I think I should hit the road soon." He glanced at me sadly. I wondered if he thought I would be heading back to Red Bluff with him when he started out to Charming. I nodded at him, I didn't know what to say, this was going to be our goodbye.

"I should get ready to too. The Irish don't like to be kept waiting."

"Oh, is that where you got it from?" He joked with me as I took our plates from the table and placed them into the dish washer.

I laughed at him. "Are you saying I don't like to be kept waiting?"

"Hey I am just calling it, like I see it." He teased as I left the room. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Things were finally moving in the right direction in my life and it made my heart happy. I changed into a pair of black leggings and light knit light pink cotton sweater and cream colored infinity scarf. It was a cooler day but I knew that I would get chilly on the ride if I didn't wear something warmer. I pulled on a pair of cream colored boot socks and a tan lace up boots. When I was finally dressed I put on some make up and pulled my hair up into messy ponytail, no use in making my hair look nice when it would be under a helmet for most of the day. When I emerged from the back of the house, AJ was sitting on the couch looking like he was ready to go.

"You look nice." He said as he glanced up at me.

"Thanks. I forgot I had these clothes….I guess that is what happens when you only take part of your wardrobe with you when you run from home." I smiled sadly. "Looks like you are ready to go." I touched his bag that was sitting on the love seat.

"Yeah, I should hit the road. Walk me out?" He asked me.

I laughed, he sounded like such a girl. "Of course. Would you like me to carry your bag for you too?" I teased him.

He laughed at me as he stood up. "Well if you're offering." He smirked. I shook my head at him and started to walk out of the house.

When we got to his bike I turned to him, "I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to." I looked up at him with sadness.

"As long as you are at a good place and you are happy, I'll get over it." He took me into his arms and embraced me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and returned the embrace. "If he decides to be a prick again let me know, I'll be waiting in the wings."

I looked up at him still in his arms as I heard bikes turning down the street to my house. "AJ please don't wait for me because there will never be anyone else…It will always be him." I said truthfully. There would never be anyone for me other than Juice. The bikes stopped in my drive way. I felt awkward in AJ's arms. "You should really think about asking Laura out." I smiled as I let go, he kissed my forehead.

"I'll miss you, Ky. If you ever need to just get away, Red Bluff will always be your home." He finally let me out of his embrace, I could feel Juice's eye burning into the back of my skull even though I hadn't turned around to see who had shown up.

"Have a save trip AJ." I smiled as I turned to see Juice's eyes full of jealousy and anger. I shook my head at him as if to say just leave it. His jaw clinched in response. Happy was the other person who was with Juice. He nodded at AJ who gave an acknowledging nod in return. I turned back to AJ, "Bye." I gave him a sad smile.

"See you soon Ky." He smiled at me as he started his Harley and left.

I turned back to Juice and Happy and smiled at them. "Hey guys. Let me run in and get my bag." I started for the house and I head footsteps behind me. I turned when I got into the house knowing it was Juice. I smiled at me as I turned, he did not return the smile.

"Looked pretty cozy when we drove up." He said with no emotion in his voice; but I could tell there was a storm raging in his eyes.

I stared at him with disbelief, "Are you going to ruin my perfectly wonderful mood?" I asked him.

"Grab your bag and let's go." He demanded of me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, "No! The Irish can wait! What the fuck is your deal?"

"He was my deal, he had his hand all over you like you were his and he kissed you. It took me everything I had not to get off my bike and kick his ass." He growled. Rage rolled off him in waves.

I rolled my eyes, "You're shitting me right?! I ended things between us; I told you that last night…he is just a friend. You wouldn't say anything if you found me with any of the Sons like that." I was getting angry with him.

He stood there as if he was considering what I said. "Well none of the brothers have seen you naked…none of them have had sex with you." He barked out at me.

"Are you serious?! You're saying that to me when I had to see you with that fucking whore the other night? And when I go into that club house, I will probably be looking at some girl you fucked while I was away?" I grabbed my bag roughly and stormed out of the house. I turned back to him, "You know what I am riding with Happy today. You ruined my good mood and just reminded me about how times you have fucked someone who wasn't me!" I shoved him hard in the chest. "Do you know that every time I was with him, every time we had sex; I felt guilty afterwards because I felt like I was cheating on you? How many times did you even think about me, Juice?"

He didn't say anything, he was at a loss for words. I turned and grabbed my helmet off of his bike and walked over to Happy's bike where he was sitting quietly smoking a cigarette. He shook his head at me as reached him. "You should have sent him home last night." His voice was full of warning.

"Juice knew he was here." I slung my bag over my shoulder and climbed on behind Happy. I was holding my ground, I needed Juice to know that I wasn't going to be pushed over and let him think he could control me.

"You should go easy on him. If I was your man and saw you with another guy like that I would have shot him between the eyes, right then and there." I hadn't thought about it. I glanced over at Juice who was getting onto his bike. He looked over at me, the rage was gone and replaced by defeat. I knew if things were going to work out for us I needed to stop throwing the whores in his face. I wasn't even home when that happened, and I was the one who left.

"Hap?" I said quietly as he was getting ready to start his bike. He turned back at me. "Thanks. Can you give me a second?" I got off the bike and walked over to Juice. I looked at him searching his eyes. "I'm sorry for going off on you, and throwing what you did back in your face. It's not fair of me to bring that up when I wasn't here, when I was the one who left you."

He sat on his running bike quietly for a second and took my hand into his and kissed the top of my hand. "I'm sorry for being a dick." He said as he patted the seat behind him on his bike. I glanced over at Happy, he had stared his bike and was already backing it out of the driveway. I climbed on the bike behind Juice, once my arms were around him our fight was shoved to the back of my mine and as we got on the road it was completely forgotten. It was just us, the road and Happy on the bike next to us. I enjoyed the ride. Being on the back of Juice's bike had always felt so right, even from day one. It was like we were made to be together. I snuggled up next to him trying to protect myself from the wind of the road which was making me cold and he rode with his hand on my thigh. It was as if we never parted.

Our trip ended as we pulled into a secluded wooded area and came to a giant opening where there were dark cars parked as well as bikes from some of the other club members. From the looks of it they were not all there yet. I got off the bike and Juice took them helmet from me. He looked at me. "Are we okay?" He asked.

"We're fine but we should talk later." I said matter-of-factly. He nodded as we walked towards the group of men who had gathered. I knew at most of the faces there two stood out to me, Seamus and one that was burned into my head forever, Matthew O'Brien. He was one of Liam's associates who beat me the day I lost the baby. I stopped suddenly, Juice and Happy stopped and both turned to look at me.

"Kylee?" Juice said quietly. "You okay?" He looked toward the group to see if he could tell what I was looking at.

I tore my eyes away from Matthew long enough to look back at Juice. I felt ill, like that day was flashing back in furious waves. I took a deep breath and nodded to Juice who didn't believe me.

"I don't believe you. You're pale, if this is too much for you we can go." Juice searched my face. I knew he was worried but he was probably thinking I was worried about what might happen. The fact was I was face to face with one of the men who killed my unborn child.

"I'm fine, Juice." I put on a small brave smile. I had gotten good at putting up fronts even though I wanted to turn and go. Seeing Matthew for the first time in nearly five years brought back feelings that I thought I had worked through and moved past. But I felt the sting for that life that was growing inside of me. That innocent child that never got a chance to take its first breath or make its mark on this world. The only mark it left one the one in my heart. I didn't want to give Matthew the satisfaction of knowing he could still wound me so deeply. I started to walk again. We reached the group of men.

"Kylee, love!" I was suddenly embraced by Seamus. He was exactly how I remembered him, granted it had only been about a year since I had seen him.

"Shay!" I hugged him back, he had gained a bit of weight, my fingertips barely touched when I hugged his midsection. "I am so happy to see you."

"You look good love. I hadn't realized you were back in Charming. If I had known I would have taken some time out to see you." He smiled at me.

I smiled back at him. "Oh, well up until a few days ago I wasn't. I am sure you have heard about Opie and his family."

"Aye, tough break. How are you dealing?" He looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"I am okay. I miss Donna, but I can't change what happened so I will just deal." I said. I glanced over at the rest of the faces. "Hello Sean." I waved at a short, stalky balding man.

"Hello Kylee. You are looking much better than the last time I saw you." He smiled politely as I walked up to him.

"Thanks. How's the family?" I asked.

"Good, thanks." He said. His wife was close to my age even though he was old enough to be her father. He sat her on a pedestal so high above the world her feet never had to touch the ground. I thought she needed to be knocked down a few pegs but I would have never told them that.

"I am glad to hear that." I smiled as I walked towards the other members of SAMCRO

"Jackson? Did you think that bringing Kylee would change the way we feel about your club leaving the gun trade?" It was Cormack, he was a high ranked club member.

"What?" He looked over at me like he hadn't noticed I was there.

"Oh Jackson, you know what I am talking about." He said with a false politeness that I knew that most of them were good at.

"She knows you better than we do. I am sure she will be able to tell me if you are being honest or trying to keep me in the shadows." Jax said with a bit of self-assuredness.

"Oh aye, she knows us all, some better than others." He glanced over at Seamus. Who looked at Jax, he knew my involvement could get us into trouble with his club.

I saw the calculation in Cormack's eyes. "Please Cormack. Seamus has nothing to do with this. He didn't know I was coming." I knew that his loyalties would be tested if things went badly. I couldn't deal with it, if anything happened to him.

"Kylee, did _you_ know what was going to happen here today?" He asked me.

I shook my head, "All I know is that Jax wants to get SAMCRO legit and to do that he needs out of the gun business."

"You come running so quickly to aide those who broke you and let you stay shattered without a word." He said in reference to my return to Belfast. He has seen me when Kerrianne and Trinity brought me up from Dublin, huddled between the two of them.

"I left them. They never left me." I announced to him. "If I had sought help from them they would have come, just like I am doing for them."

He raised his eyebrow at me as he turned to Sean and said something quietly to him. He nodded and then said. "Alright Jackson, let's talk." He motioned for him to walk with him.

They left us all standing there; I could feel Matthew's eye on me. I tried to ignore him and turned to talk to Bobby who was the closest to me now.

"Good job sweetheart." Bobby said. "You may have singlehandedly changed the course of this club.

"The only reason they are talking with Jax is…." I heard multiple gunshots as I was shoved hard to the ground from behind. I turned to see what was going on and I saw Juice laying on the ground next to me. "Juice?!" I crawled over to him. His breathing was heavy and there was blood streaming from multiple bullet wounds. "Oh my god…JUICE!" I put my hands over the wounds blood was oozing through my fingers. I started to cry as panic set in, how could this happen? "Please Juice…Please don't leave me!" I cried. "Oh my god! Someone help me please!" I looked up trying to figure out what was going on, where was everyone one? It was chaotic, there were men running everywhere. "Happy?!" I cried out as I turned back to Juice. He opened his eyes slightly, my hands were still holding pressure to the wounds that were bleeding severely. "Juice? Please…stay with me." Why wasn't anyone there to help?

"Ky?" He said in an almost in audible whisper. "I…" He tried to look at me.

"Shh. I know baby. Please just hold on." I kissed him and then looked up again. "PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!" I screamed out my plea. I started to sob, I didn't want to lose Juice after I just got him back. I couldn't figure out why anyone would shoot Juice. I thought it was a peaceful meeting. Could it have been the Irish had betrayed the club?

Suddenly Happy was next to me, "Fuck! Chibs!" He yelled. Happy had blood on his hands. I looked at him, he didn't say anything. "We'll get him to the hospital Ky." He said to me calmly. I was confused by everything that was going on. "Hold on, brother!" He said as Chibs arrived next to us.

"You're doing a good job sweetheart." Chibs touched my shoulder. I continued holding off the wounds on Juice's chest. His shirt was soaked with blood. I tried to collect myself but I couldn't I started to sob harder. "Ky…come on now love. He needs you to be strong." Chibs called out to me as he moved one of my hands and put someone's shirt on the first bullet wound and then placed my hand on it. I pushed hard, Juice moaned quietly. He did the same thing with the other bullet wound that I was holding. "Okay Kylee we need to move him to the van." It was like the club's van had materialized out of now where. "Let Happy and Jax get him into the van." Chibs touched my shoulder lightly.

I reluctantly let them take over. I stood up and instantly felt pain near my right shoulder. I though I must have hit the ground funny. I looked around quickly to see if I could make sense out of everything. The Irish were still standing there, surveying what was going on, they were next to a body. Then it hit me what happened. It was Matthew, he tried to shoot me and Juice saved my life. I looked back just in time to see the van pulling away quickly. I was supposed to be in there with Juice.

"Come on Kylee." Happy grabbed my hand and pulled me to his bike. "He's in good hands." He said to me in reassurance.

"He saved me." I said to Happy as if he didn't know.

"I know." He handed me a helmet, he was already on the bike and starting it. I jumped on ignoring the nagging pain near my shoulder.

By the time we got to the hospital my shoulder went from a nagging pain to an intense one. I got off the bike and I felt faint. I looked at Happy's back and it was blood streaked. "Happy are you bleeding?"

"What?" He turned to look at me. "Oh fuck!" He said as he looked at me.

"What is it?" I looked down at myself, my once nice pink sweater was now covered in blood most of it concentrated on my right side. I looked up at Happy, "I think he missed one." I said as the world went black.


	30. Chapter 30

Ch 30

Stop the beeping, I thought to myself. Where was it coming from, it didn't sound like my alarm clock? I opened my eyes and the lights were bright. "It's too bright." I said quietly, I felt like I had a killer hang over but I couldn't remember drinking. The lights dimmed and a face hovered over me, I focused in on it. "Happy?" I looked into his brown eyes, his brow was furrowed. "Where am I?"

"The hospital." He said gruffly. "Kylee why didn't you tell me you had been shot?"

I was about to ask him why I was in the hospital but then the day's event came rushing back to me. Juice…I sat up quickly and winced in pain. "Juice?" I asked, I didn't know if I could handle bad news but I needed to know if he made it.

"They have him in surgery right now. Docs won't tell us anything, we have Tara looking into it for us." He told me as he sat down in the chair next to the bed I was in.

"Hap?" He looked over at me. "I didn't tell you because I didn't realize I was shot. I thought I landed on it wrong when Juice shoved me."

"How did you not know you had been shot? Kylee I have been shot and I knew it." He was angry. He started to pace the room, then he turned to me. I wanted to tell him it was a little thing called adrenaline but I knew I would regret it if I did because he was in a mood. "You could have died!" He pretty much yelled it at me as he walked out of the room. I didn't know if he was upset with me or if he was upset with himself. He let me in, he cared about me and if he lost me it would show his weakness. He didn't want to be or seem weak.

I took a deep breath, the drugs they had me on made me feel loopy. I didn't like it, I would have rather felt the twinge of pain. I pushed my call button. It wasn't long after that a nurse walked in, she was wearing emerald green scrubs. I laughed slightly, the irony of it and of course it was lost on the nurse. "It's good to see you awake." She smiled at me.

"I need two things from you." I told her very matter-of-factly. "First I want to know how my husband is doing and second I need whatever pain medication you have in my IV to be turned down. I feel like I am floating on a cloud and I don't want to be out of it."

"I will see what I can find out about your husband, Mrs. Ortiz. However your meds can not be changed, we want you to rest." She said to me sternly.

"I don't want to rest. I want to be able to be with my husband when he gets out of surgery." I said belligerently.

"Please just rest. You lost quite a bit of blood and have a nasty bullet wound in your shoulder." She said as she started to walk out of the room.

"I would like to talk to Dr. Tara Knolls." I demanded. If I was going to be treated like a child I would act like one I though. _Shit these drugs are not doing anything good to me._ I thought.

"She isn't your doctor, Dr. Johnson is." She stood in the doorway.

"Please." I replied, realizing I was being a bitch.

"I will see what I can do." She sighed as she passed Jax in the doorway. She looked back at him with a small smile.

"How you feeling sweetheart?" Jax asked as he sat on the edge of my bed.

"I'm crawling out of my skin and I just woke up. I think I am on too high of a dose of pain meds." I looked at him. He looked weary. "How did the deal go?"

"Well it's on hold as of right now. But I have a feeling things are going to fall in our favor." He smiled softly at me. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"Oh what, Juice and me getting shot helped then?" I jeered.

He frowned at me. "Kylee that wasn't your fault."

It was though. "But it was. I knew when I saw Matthew I should have left. I knew he would have taken his anger out on me. I mean it was my fault that Liam and Jonah were murdered."

"What do you mean?" Happy piped in, as he walked in the room.

I looked at him. "He was one of the men who…who beat me that night with Liam. He helped kill my baby. If…" I started as man who I didn't know walked in. He was wearing a white lab coat and had a stethoscope draped around his neck. He had a full head of salt and pepper hair. He had my chart in his hands and he looked at me.

"Mrs. Ortiz." He said formally.

"Were not done Ky." Happy said sternly

"Kylee." I responded to the doctor and I rolled my eyes at Happy, I wished he could have just left well enough alone.

"Kylee. So Nurse Lynn told me that you would like to have your pain meds turned down and that you were enquiring about your husband." I nodded. "Well let's start by looking at the rate you are on for these pain meds. Do you feel any pain?"

"Not unless I move my shoulder. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin on these meds." I said promptly.

"Alright well if it is that bad we can probably turn your pain drip off and start you on oral pain meds." He stopped the pain meds that were fed into my IV fluids from a separate pump. "There, you should be feeling better soon. Make sure that you page the nurse if you think you need to go back on them."

I nodded, "What about Juice?" I asked.

"Of course you can drink some." He said not understanding what I was saying.

I shook my head as I looked over at Happy and Jax who both laughed. "My husband, Juan Carlos…also known as Juice. How is he?"

"He is still in surgery. He was lucky he was alive when he got here. Your friends are really miracle workers. He did lose a lot of blood and he was shot at least three times. One of those bullets is lodged in his lung which is what they are trying to take care of right now so he can breathe. If he makes it through surgery his prognosis is guarded and he will be in ICU under critical care." He said.

I couldn't even cry because I felt so high from the drugs. _IF _he makes it through surgery. He had to make it through surgery. I felt numb.

"When will I be able to get out of here?" I asked.

"Well, if you want and things are continuing to look good possibly later tonight or early tomorrow. We want to keep an eye on your vitals, if they remain good you can leave tonight." He kept was looking at the machines and then looked back at me. "I'll let you know if I hear and more about your husband." He said politely as he took his leave from the room.

The day went by slowly and I was thankful Happy hadn't brought up Matthew again. I was sure he was biding his time. I was grateful I had visitors from the club in and out of my room all day. I still didn't have any news about how Juice was doing and my visitors helped me take my mind off of it. I thought that no news is good news. I had a few minutes by myself when one of the nurses kicked everyone out of my room. Happy gave her the death look.

"It's fine Happy." He hadn't left the room all day, not even to smoke. Which surprised me. I knew some time away would do him some good. "Go have a cigarette." I waved him out of the room. "Sorry about that." I turned to look at the nurse who was looking at the monitor I was hooked up to.

"Oh it's okay. I actually think it's nice that he's so over protective." She smiled at me.

"You noticed that too?" I shook my head. "Do you know have they finished with surgery on Juan Carlos Ortiz?" I asked

She shook her head, "I don't know but I will definitely check for you. I do have some good news for you…" She glanced over at me.

"Good news is something I need right now." I was starting to feel some pain in my right shoulder and I was exhausted. I hadn't slept because I was so worried about Juice. I knew if I wanted, Happy would have cleared out my visitors, but they helped pass the time and take my mind off of Juice. I felt like everything that had happened was because of me, it was my fault he was fighting for his life.

"Dr. Johnson said that if your vitals remained stable we could release you." She smiled. "He will be in shortly and then I will be back to change your bandages and with discharge papers for you."

"Thank you." I said with a small smile. I was relieved now I could go raise some hell somewhere else on the other side of the hospital where Juice should be. As soon as the nurse left Happy walked in. "Hey." I smiled at him. He looked more relaxed and calm.

"So what did she have to say?" Happy asked me with some concern creeping into his face.

"I am going to be discharged, my vitals have been spot on and the doctor is okay letting me leave. However…I don't have any clothes that are not stained severely with blood." I looked over at him.

"I'm already on that. I sent Rat to your house to get you some clothes."

"Seriously you sent Rat to my house to get me clothes? Boys are no good at picking out things that match. Have you seen how he dresses?" I rolled my eyes at Happy.

"He's the best I could do, Tara is working and I'm here with you. I could send a croweater to your house if you want."

"If you send a croweater to my house, I will kick your ass with my one good arm." I growled at him.

He laughed at me, I knew he loved to see how he could get me to react to his antics. I rolled my eyes at him, I knew he was doing it to make me feel better, even if it was at my expense. I glared at him as he sat down at the end go my hospital bed. The one thing that I had in this world if it fell apart was Happy even if he was a giant pain in my ass. "Hap?" He looked at me. "What happened today?" I asked knowing full well he wouldn't hide the truth from me.

He sighed as if he knew it was coming but didn't know how to tell me. "That asshole had it out for you…why?"

"Matthew was one of Liam's closest associates, he was one of the men that helped beat me up when Liam thought the baby I was carrying belonged to Juice. I am sure he held me responsible for Liam and Jonah's deaths." I searched his face for answers but all I got was the furiousness of Happy's bad-temper staring back at me.

"Why did you pretend like everything was fine?" He said angrily. "I knew something was up when you turned as white as a ghost. You should have fucking said something."

"And what showed that he still had an effect over me? NO!" I shot back at him. "I will not allow anyone to control my life like that. It wasn't just to show him, but to show myself I was strong enough."

"He tried to fucking kill you!" He was trying to control his anger but it was oozing through his words like venom.

"I understand that Happy and Juice is the one paying for it unfortunately. I understand the consequences of today…believe me I am well aware of them. Juice is fighting for his life because of me. I get it!" I was getting angry at Happy. How did my simple question about what happened turn into him being so irate. I should have known better the littlest things could set Happy off.

"He will never try to hurt you again." He was too calm.

"Will you be getting another smiley face tattoo?" I asked. Each time Happy made a kill he got a tattoo of a smiley face on his abdomen. He had quite the collection going on he had over 13 of them. I never had asked him because I didn't like to think about all the men who had died because of his hands.

Happy looked at me and then said, "The bastard had what was coming to him. He took advantage of the relaxed nature of everything. Juice must have known what was going on because I saw him dart towards you watching him. Then the shots rang out. I watched him save you only to take the bullets himself. I flew at the bastard immediately with Chibs and Tig. Bobby and Jax pulled their guns on the Irish. It was chaos for a few minutes. We killed him, he said he would die happy knowing that he took someone who cared about a lot from you. I don't know which one of us gave him the killer blow but he died." So no tattoo for Happy, they had to die by his hands and no other for his tattoo.

I didn't have much to say, it was almost a relief to know that he wouldn't be coming after me again. I didn't like the loss of life but knowing that I was safe and if Juice died, he wouldn't die in vain. I didn't say anything; I just moved myself next to Happy with some effort and put my head against his shoulder. He put his arm around me and gently squeezed me against him. I had my bad shoulder next his body; he was careful about not putting too much pressure on it. He held me like that for a few minutes when my doctor came in.

"Hello Kylee. I have some news for you." He said with his professional politeness when I knew he was probably thinking I deserved what I got for hanging out with the criminal element in Charming. "Juan Carlos is out of surgery and in the ICU. They were successful in recovering the bullet that was lodge in one of his lung lobes. He is being ventilated by machines right now and being kept in a coma because his doctors want his body to recover some before seeing what happens. So far it looks good however he is still in serious condition and his prognosis is guarded."

He was still alive, that was the news I wanted all day. "Can we hurry up and get me out of here so I can be with him?" I asked Dr. Johnson.

He laughed slightly at me. "Someone is antsy." He said. I looked over at Happy with annoyance. He was glaring at the doctor which made me smile.

"I suppose you would be anxious too if your wife was in the same place Juice is." I shot back at the doctor. He stared at me and my belligerence with curiosity in his brown eyes.

"I suppose you are right Mrs. Ortiz." He said back calmly. He looked at me with some annoyance and then went back to my chart. "Well everything looks good. I will send in your nurse to change your bandage and get you on your way." I waited for him to say "good riddens" but he didn't. Maybe he was scared of Happy, I wouldn't have blamed him if he was. Happy could be a scary fucker.

It was another ten minutes before the nurse showed up with my discharge instruction and bandages. My wound was red and angry, the nurse mentioned that I was lucky that it missed all major arteries and didn't do as much damage as it could have. When the nurse finished with my bandages and my discharges, Rat walked in with my clothes. I was happy he brought me something comfortable and matched. He had picked up a new pair of panties and bra. I frowned at the thought of him going through my drawers. He grabbed a plain black shirt and some jeans. I gathered my clothes and went into the bathroom I easily got my pants on but started to have trouble with my bra and shirt. I popped my head out of the door.

"Happy?" I called out.

"Yeah?" He looked up from where he was sitting on my bed, talking to Rat.

"Can you see if Tara or a nurse can come help me finish getting dressed." I asked. I was embarrassed I couldn't get myself dressed.

"I'll get her." Rat stood up to go and find her.

"Rat, sit down. I'll help her." Happy stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I stepped back from the door and let him in. I stood there half-dressed with my bra covering me. I immediately turned my back to Happy so he could latch it for me. To me this felt too intimate the only other man who had helped me dress was Juice. I never let AJ help me. Happy grabbed my shirt off the counter and turned me around to face him. He grimaced at the bruise that had spread across my shoulder and touched it lightly. I watched his face as he started to pull my shirt over my head. I was able to get my left arm in myself and then we got to my problem area, my right shoulder. I gritted my teeth as he helped me into my shirt all the way. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm okay, it just twinges a bit when I move my shoulder." I grabbed the sling that the nurse had brought in for me, she said it would stabilize my shoulder while it healed. I slung it over my head and placed my arm into it. I was ready to get out of this room and check on Juice. "Thanks Happy." I felt like I had been thanking him a lot lately.

He looked at me and nodded as we walked out of the bathroom. "Let's go see how Juice is." He placed his hand on the small of my back to walk me out of the room. Rat followed with all of my stuff, Happy must have told him to do that. He wasn't a prospect anymore but he still did what Happy wanted. We walked out into the hallway and towards the waiting room. I heard the murmur of men's voices. We walked into the room and it was filled with members of the club.

"Ah there she is." Chibs yelled out happily as he pulled me into his arms forgetting about my sore shoulder. I let out a small whimper. "Shite I'm sorry love." He said softly as he let go of me. I just nodded at him, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring for love that these men had.

"Thank you all for coming." I said to them. "I would love to stay and chat but I have a man on the other side of the hospital to check on." I turned and walked out of the waiting room. I heard heavy foot steps behind me, I turned thinking it would be Happy since he hadn't really let me out of his sight all day but it wasn't him it was Jax.

"Kylee wait." He said.

I was impatient. I wanted to go see Juice, I needed to be sure he was still alive. I needed to see him with my own eyes. "Jackson?" I turned.

"Thank you. I'm sorry that everything went down the way it did." He said as he reached me and we started walking towards the ICU.

"Jax, you couldn't have known that Matthew would have done that when he saw me. I hope that the deal goes well but please don't take it personally when I say I will not be helping when it comes to the Irish again." I looked at the floor as we walked. I should have listened to Happy and Juice when they protested maybe things would have turned out better. Then again they could have turned out worse.

He chuckled at me. "Listen, I don't blame you. Let me know if there is anything the club can do for you or for Juice." He said as we stopped at the ICU desk.

"Thanks, Jax. I will." I nodded and smiled at him. I looked at the ICU nurse she looked like she had seen better days. Her brow furrowed when she looked at me with her gray eyes and mousy silver hair that was in a ponytail.

"Can I help you?" She said with a gruff voice, she was a smoker.

"I would like to see Juan Carlos Ortiz." I said promptly.

"I am sorry but we are only allowing immediate family, dear." She said. Stupid bitch, I thought.

"I am his immediate family. My name is Kylee Ortiz and I am his wife." I was blunt. She stared at me for a moment as if she was trying to decide whether or not I was telling the truth.

"Oh, I wasn't aware you were released. Please go ahead." She motioned towards the door to the ICU. "He is in room 104" She said politely.

I turned back and gave Jax a small smile before walking through the double doors to the ICU. I turned the corner to room 104 and I heard the beeps before I could see him. A steady beep, beep, beep and there he was laying in the bed with machines hooked up to him. My heart was pounding hard him my chest. Juice looked so helpless and broken. I walked up to his bed, the man who I knew as tough no longer looked that way. He had a tube in his mouth and taped across his face, I knew that was hooked up to his ventilator, it was what was breathing for him. I touched his face.

"You idiot." I said to him. "Do you know what life has been like without you? Now you're doing it again. Don't leave me Juice, not yet." I said. I sat down in the chair next to his bed and held his hand. I half expected him to grasp it back but he didn't, it laid limp in mine. I put my head on his bed and cried softly. For as two years I wanted to not see Juice, I wanted nothing to do with him, I ran from him all because he hurt me so badly. Now I wanted nothing more than to hear his voice one more time, to see him smile…I wanted him more then I wanted anything. It's funny how when something is gone you realize how much you want it or need it for that matter. "I love you." I whispered

**A/N: sorry it took me a while to get this out. We'll see what is to come for Juice and Kylee. Thanks again for all your support and as always I love to hear what you think…**** cheers and enjoy!**


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I was sitting with Juice and listening to the steady beeps of his machines. I had started to doze off, when suddenly an alarm started to go off. The beeping was no longer steady, it was one loud straight beep. I stared at him, what was going on?

"Juice?" I said in a slight panic as the nurses came rushing in his room. "Please what is going on?" I asked them. None of them answered me but huddled around Juice. I felt like I was trapped in an unending nightmare, where I was constantly confused.

One nurses took me by my good arm and started to escort me out of the room, I turned back to see what was going on. "I am sorry but we need to take care of him." She shoved me out into the hallway as more people piled into to the small room. I stood there dumbfounded and in a slight daze. Juice was fine one minute and the next minute he was not. "Please Mrs. Ortiz, go to the waiting room. You are not going to be any help here." A nurse came out of the room and said sternly.

All I could do was nod as I walked towards the doors confused by what was going on. _Why wasn't I comprehending?_ I thought to myself. I walked through the doors and found that the members of SAMCRO had moved to the family room adjacent from the nurses' station in ICU. I heard their voices they seemed too joyful. I walked in and Happy looked at me with concern he knew something was up. He knew I would have just walked out of Juice's room without something major happening.

"What, done visiting so soon? We were taking bets on how long you would be in there." Tig chimed in as he saw me walk in. Happy punched him in the arm hard as he walked by him, "Ouch brother!" Tig rubbed his arm. I hoped he would have a bruise.

"Code Blue ICU 104….Code Blue ICU 104." Rang over the over-com system. I looked up at the ceiling and looked at Happy, the panic set in. I felt like a caged animal, I was going to lose my mind.

"Ky?" He walked towards me slowly. "What happened?"

_Oh my God, I killed him_. I started to hyperventilate I bent over trying to catch my breath, "It's all my fault. He's dying and it's all my fault." I knew enough about medicine to know what a code blue was. Juice was in cardiac and respiratory arrest. I stared at Happy who was about to take me into his arms but I stepped back. "No, don't." I pushed him away. "I killed him! I killed him!" I backed myself into the wall and melted onto the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and placed my face on them. How could this happen? I couldn't lose him.

"Kylee look at me." Happy's voice demanded of me. He grabbed my face forcing me to look at him, it hurt but I ignored the pain. "Look at me." He demanded again. He was kneeling in front of me. I looked at him, he wiped the tears from my eyes with his thumbs and held my face. "This is not your fault, none of us blame you for any of this." He said as he sat next to me and pulled me into his arms.

"He can't die. Don't let him die." I sobbed into his chest. "Please Happy." I pleaded knowing he couldn't do anything about it.

"Shh." He pet my hair trying to calm me down. The happy voices were no longer talking, it was silent as the grave. No pun intended. I don't know how long I sobbed into Happy's chest it was long enough to make a large wet spot on the front of his shirt. I would have continued but Tara burst in the room like a whirl wind. She had heard the page over the inter-com system as well and knew it was Juice.

I looked up at her, she had tears in her eyes. "Fuck." Was all she said, before she was enveloped by Jax; where she cried too. She must have been done with work because she stayed with us in the waiting room. Waiting for news of whether Juice made it or if we would have another funeral in our future seemed to take ages.

Happy must have been sick of being on the floor because he got up and pulled me up with him. I still had a steady stream of tears falling from my eyes. "Get the fuck up." He barked at Rat who was sitting on the couch. Happy sat me down on the couch and sat next to me. My shoulder was starting to hurt but I disregarded the pain because it was nothing compared to Juice fighting for his life. We had been in there for about an hour before a doctor finally emerged from the back. He looked at us wearily as he walked in and the room full of bikers stood up quickly.

"Kylee Ortiz?" He searched the room for my face. I gritted my teeth as I stood up and walked over to him.

"Yes?" I didn't want to hear his news, I wanted to pretend that Juice was going to come walking through the door. Blissfully ignorant is what I wanted to be.

"Is there some place we can speak alone?" He asked me as his gray eyes looked around cautiously at all the SAMCRO members.

"No, they are his family as well." I said sternly. My tears had dried up a while before the doctor came in. I was sure that I still looked like a hot mess to him.

"Okay, well your husband went into cardiac and respiratory arrest. We were successful in bringing him back but we did have to rush him back into surgery. He had started to bleed from one of his bullet wounds, which caused his lungs to go into distress and then obviously his heart was affected as well. I want you to know he is in extremely critical condition and if he does make it through this surgery his prognosis is guarded to grave." He said very matter-of-factly. "We have our best doctors here working on Juan Carlos right now." I looked over at Tara, who I believed was one of their best doctors but she worked with pediatrics so I couldn't argue with him on that.

"I don't give a fuck about how much it cost, fly in the world's best surgeons if you have to…just make sure he makes it through this, if your surgeons would have stopped the bleeding to begin with this would not have happened." I bit at him.

He looked at me, I could tell what he was thinking, if Juice wasn't in this "gang" he wouldn't have been shot. That wasn't completely true, if he hadn't met me this wouldn't have happened or if I would have listen to their wishes and stayed home he wouldn't have been shot. "Kylee, we will do what _we_ can for him." I knew he thought I didn't have any money, I mean what would I be doing with such 'trash' if I did.

"Are not understanding what I am saying to you?" I started to feel slightly violent. "I want the best fucking surgeon and intensive care doctors, working on my husband and I do not care where you need to fly them in from, fuck I will pay for their airfare…get them here now!" I glared at him.

Here came his judgment of me, "I don't think you would be able to afford it." All he saw when he looked at me was a biker whore. He saw a room full of criminals and their whores, even if Tara was a doctor at the hospital she was one too in his eyes.

I laughed in his face, "You arrogant bastard." I yelled at him as Happy grabbed my arm as if to tell me not to do anything I would regret. I might have been right handed but I could still pack a punch with my left one. "You have no clue about my financial status. Get them here NOW!" I was not making friends at this hospital. The doctor's face flushed red as he walked out of the room. Happy only loosened his grip on my arm when we could no longer hear the doctor in the hallway.

Tara walked up from behind me, "Shit, Ky you just told off the chief of staff. Don't get me wrong he is a pompous asshole, but seriously do you like to make enemies?" I hadn't thought about it, I needed to let him know what I wanted and if it wasn't going to happen then I would do it my way.

I shook my head, "That asshole assumed because of the people I am with that I didn't have any money. I am sure he is wondering where I got my money from, probably assumes I am prostituting myself out. And the audacity he had to say Juice pretty much isn't going to make it. I am not going to believe that he isn't going to make it. He needs to make it. If he doesn't…" I trailed off. I couldn't bring myself to think about it. I walked back over to the couch and sat down. How could this be happening to us? We just lost Opie, Donna and the kids, we couldn't lose anyone else. I didn't have it in me. I just sat there quietly as the evening wore on and listened to the murmurs of the members of SAMCRO, conversations.

It was nearly midnight when a different doctor came in, I was much calmer than I was when the bastard was there. I was nearly asleep on the couch using Happy's leg as a pillow. He had found out I was in a ton of pain and made me take the high end dose of my medications. I relaxed as soon as they kicked and I realized how tired I really was, it had been a long day. The doctor cleared his throat when he walked in, the room had cleared out some. Jax sent the prospects to the club house to make sure everything was running smoothly as well as some of the lower totem pole members. Tara had to leave to go pick up the boys from Gemma's house, plus she had to work the following day. However Tara had been replaced by Gemma, who came in and started fretting over me. Happy made her back off which I was grateful for.

"Mrs. Ortiz?" He asked. I looked up at him sleepily as Happy helped me in a sitting position. He walked over and sat on the coffee table that was positioned in front of me. I could tell instantly that I like him, he had already treated me completely different than the other doctor. "My name is Dr. McMahon." He smiled softly at me. A good Irish name I thought. "Juan Carlos is out of surgery, it seems that the suture used to close his bullet wounds in his lungs actually did not hold well so I went back in and I was able to resuture everything securely. He is actually resting nicely right now and was breathing on his own when we got out of surgery but we decided we would keep him intubated and on oxygen for the time being. I can't say your husband is out of the woods yet, these next 12 to 24 hours are critical but we have a fighter on our hands." He smiled at me again.

"When can I see him?" I asked through my sleepy eyes and worn out body.

"Right now if you would like to." He stood up and offered me his hand to help me up. I took it and stood up.

"Thank you." I said to him, I wasn't just thanking him for his help getting me up but for everything he had done for Juice. He nodded and started to walk out of the room. "Um Dr. McMahon?" He turned back and looked at me. "Is there any way we can get one more visitor added to the clearance?"

"I can arrange that for you. I am sure his friends would like to visit as well and my guess is that you will not be leaving his side." He said warmly to me. I nodded. He stopped at the nurses' station and said something to the overnight nurse and she nodded to him. Dr. McMahon was younger and unjaded by his work, I appreciated his hopefulness.

"Who wants to see Juice?" I asked as I started out the door. Happy followed me out the door. "How did I know you would be the one who went first?" I asked him. He shrugged as we walked passed the nurses' station she buzzed the door to go back to the room. Juice was still in 104. He looked exactly as he did before he went into cardiac arrest. I pulled the chair I as sitting in up to the right side of his bed and placed his hand in mine. I laid my head down on the bed, my intent was to say a prayer but I fell asleep. No one bothered me as I slept there, I never heard a nurse come in or the guys come in and out.

I was finally aroused from my sleep by Dr. McMahon, "Kylee?" He said quietly as he touched my shoulder. I yelped in pain. "Oh, I'm sorry." I gazed up at him and tried to figure out where I was. The room was no longer dark but filled with sunlight. I looked up at Juice who was the same as he was when I came back into his room.

"It's fine. My shoulder is just extremely sore right now." I mean I had slept with it wonky because of laying against the bed all night, obviously it didn't bother me until that point. I would have to see if I could find Tara to get her to change my bandage.

"So things are looking good, Juan Carlos' vitals are steady and strong which is what we want. I forgot to tell you last night, we stopped the drugs to keep him in a medically induced coma. So we will hopefully see him up and alert here within the day or tomorrow, depending upon how his body is doing." He was encouraging.

"Thank you, Doc." I smiled at him. I stood up and needed to stretch. "Juice, I will be right back." I whispered into his ear, "I love you." I said before I kissed his cheek. I walked out of the ICU and into the waiting room to find Happy asleep on the couch, Tig and Bobby were asleep in chairs, and Chibs had fallen asleep on the couch that was on the other side of the room. Jax must have went home to be with the boys. "Hey." I said somewhat loudly as I walked into the room. Happy stretched out on the couch as much as he could and looked up at me.

Chibs sat up quickly, "Everything okay love?" He asked me.

"Yeah. I came here to let you guys know that you could go visit if you wanted to I need to eat, take my meds and see if I can find Tara to help me with my bandage. Do any of you want anything from the cafeteria?" I asked. I knew Happy would have helped me with my bandage but he had already seen enough of my body over the last few days. Also I didn't want him fretting over how it looked, I knew it was going to look worse before it looked better it was a bullet wound for God's sake.

"Coffee." Tig moaned his eyes were still closed. Bobby's snores filled the room, I was sure he was down for the count.

I laughed at him. He was not a morning person. "Anyone care to join me?" I asked. Happy grunted loudly which I assumed meant yes. Chibs stood up and walked over towards me. "Thank you all for sticking around." I smiled at them. "You comin' killer?" I looked over at Happy who was still laying on the couch with his eyes closed again.

"I'll meet you down there." He said his voice was extra gruff. I smiled softly at him as I turned to walk with Chibs down to the cafeteria. I felt good about how the day was starting. I had actually slept well considering, it was probably my meds but I wasn't going to complain. It sounded like Juice was heading on the right track.

The cafeteria was filled with doctors and nurses who were gathering the early lunch meals. There were also anxious families waiting for news on their family member's just like I was. I was happy they still had breakfast out. I grabbed a banana, toast with peanut butter and coffee for breakfast for myself. Chibs filled his plate with eggs, toast, bacon, hash browns, a pastry with cream-filling and a coffee. I looked over at him, "You're buying right?" He asked with a smile. I nodded with a smile. I was planning on buying breakfast for everyone. Just before we got to the register Happy came sauntering in, he grabbed a cup for coffee and grabbed a pastry.

"Hurry up Hap…or you're paying for your own food." He shot me a look of distain. Great Happy was in a bad mood. I frowned at him when he reached us. I paid for our food and Tig's coffee, I also made sure that to grab him and Bobby each a muffin, in case they was hungry.

"Is that all your eating?" Happy looked at my plate.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" I replied, I was too stressed out to have an appetite but I knew I needed to eat something.

"You should eat more than just that." He grabbed a piece of bacon off of Chibs' plate and put it on mine. "Eat." He commanded of me

I shook my head and took a bite of the bacon he put on my plate, like one piece of bacon was going to change anything but I did to pacify him. "There are you happy, Killer?" I asked him as I licked my fingers clean. It was hard getting used to doing thing with my left hand when I wanted to use my right. Happy nodded and drank some of his coffee. I rolled my eyes at Chibs who smiled sympathetically at me. We both knew how domineering Happy could be but it seemed worse today. "Did you get up on the wrong side of the couch?" I teased Happy.

He scowled at me. "I would have rather been in a bed." I never asked him stay, he just stayed like everyone else.

"You didn't have to stay Hap." I looked at him, I wanted to avert my gaze when I saw the dirty look that was waiting for me. "What? What's your problem?" I glared back at him. He didn't say anything he just sat there and finished his coffee. I took one more bite of my toast and tossed it on my plate and stood up. "I am going to find Tara." I turned and walked away from them.

I heard some shuffling behind me and heard Chibs say… "Let her be brother. She'll be safe." Was that's Happy's deal? He was scared that I was going to get hurt? I rolled my eyes, he didn't need to be such a dick about things because that made me not want to be around him.

I found my way to Tara's office after wandering a bit, I needed to cool down after dealing with Happy. I rapped lightly on the door. "Come in." Tara's voice beckoned from within. She smiled softly at me when I walked through the door. "Hey, Ky. How's Juice?"

"He's a fighter. I like his new doctor a lot." I smiled as I sat down in the chair across from her.

She studied my face as if wondering if she should say what she was going to say. "How are you holding up?"

I knew the last time she saw me I was an emotional wreck. Too much had happened over the past few days to not be. "I am doing okay. I have my own personal self-appointed bodyguard who is driving me fucking nuts."

"Happy?" She laughed, "He was up here looking for you just before you got here. Now I am sure he is scouring the hospital looking for you."

_Fuck there would be hell to pay for that_, I thought to myself as I nodded. "Is there any way you can help me change my bandage?" I asked her.

"Yeah no problem. Let me go and get bandage materials and I will be right back." She walked out of her office.

I sat on the couch thinking about the hell I would have to face when I saw Happy again; when he stormed into her office. At first I thought it was Tara and said, "You were quick." But when I looked up it was Happy glowering at me. _Fuck._ "Hey, Hap." Was all I could think of saying to him, let's not anger the beast further.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He snarled.

"I've been here in the hospital. Does it matter which route I took to get up here?" I sassed, I wasn't in the mood to argue but I would if it meant getting my point across. He sighed deeply planting his ass next to me on the couch, I turned myself to face him. "Happy, you don't need to be my shadow. Go home get your dick sucked or go fuck a croweater and then get some sleep." He tensed up next to me.

He gave me one of his killer looks and it made me flinch a bit, I couldn't remember the last time that he looked at me like that. I was never on the receiving end of that look. "Do you understand what happened yesterday?" He asked me as if I didn't understand what happened.

"I am well aware of what happened yesterday Happy. I recall us talking about this yesterday. You killed him, he's gone. What are you protecting me from? The doctors and nurses?" I snapped.

He stared at me. "How do you know he wasn't doing it for someone else?"

I rolled my eyes at Happy, "You're being over protective Happy, if any of the Irish would have wanted me dead they would have done it while I was in Northern Ireland. I stayed with half of them while I was there, it would have been easy. I'll be fine; Chibs, Bobby and Tig are here, they will not let anything happen to me. You need to unwind, I have never seen you like this before. Please Happy, I feel smothered."

He frowned as if my words hurt him, maybe they did but I knew I could always be honest with him since he was always with me. I assumed he thought it was his responsibility was to protect me. He didn't say anything to me he just got up and walked out of the office as Tara walked in. She looked back at him and turned to me. "I see he found you."

"Yeah." I shook my head thinking about how protective Happy was of me. He had been my rock and I just told him I didn't need him. However he was wound extremely tight since the shooting and I needed him to calm the fuck down or he was going to make me go bat-shit crazy. "Let's get my bandage changed." I actually felt bad that I sent Happy away.

"You feel bad about sending him away don't you?" Tara observed. I smirked at her and her all-knowing nature.

"Fuck you're going to be a good queen." I blew a loose strand of hair out of my face. "I told him he needed to get laid. Tara he was smothering me, I am surprised he didn't follow me into the bathroom. I don't want him to feel responsible for me." I said as I took off my sling and set it on the couch next to me. Tara helped me with my shirt and then removed my bandage. I glanced down at my shoulder, it was dark purple around the wound where I had been shot. Thankfully the doctor who sutured me up did a nice job it was not going to be a huge scar but I would have a scar. A constant reminder of Liam and his friends.

"I can't believe you told him to go get laid." Tara said as she cleaned my wound. "You know if I would have said that to him, he would have put me in my place. He loves you." She said thoughtfully.

"I love him too. He's been more of a brother to me than Kip ever was. You don't need the same blood coursing through your veins to be family. This club has taught me that much." I finished saying as the door to Tara's office swung open.

Rat stood there breathless and stared at me. "Fuck sorry," He turned his head away from me. I looked down realizing I was in my bra and jeans. "Chibs sent me down here…Juice." Was all he said to me, _Oh my god what now?_ I thought to myself as I stood up quickly.

"What?" I looked desperately at Rat.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Chibs came out and said to come and get you right away."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Tara stood up and placed a bandage over my bullet wound and followed up by helping me get my shirt and sling on. It burned severely but I didn't care I needed to find out what happened to Juice. I quickly followed Rat out the door and to the ICU. Chibs was coming through the door with tears in his eyes, he tried to stop me. _Oh my god…Juice what happened he was doing so well! _ I pushed past Chibs and ran through the doors to the ICU. I ran into Juice's room to see him, staring straight back at me. I stopped suddenly. I was going to beat the shit out of Chibs…why didn't he just tell Rat he was awake. I just about had a heart attack when I saw Chibs with tears in his eyes, thinking the worst had happened to Juice. I soaked Juice up with my eyes.

"Ky." He said in a whisper. I tried to choke back my tears and a snort came out instead.

"Juice?" I walked up to his bed slowly. I couldn't believe that after everything he had been through in those past 24 hours; he was awake and talking to me. He gave me a small smile as I sat on his bed next to him. I started to sob. _He was alive_. "You're okay." I managed to say between sobs.

"Don't cry." He said quietly as he touched my hand that was closed to him. I looked over at him. How could he be so alert and coherent with everything that had happened to him?

"You almost died, Juice…hell you did die." I said sniffling, not wanting to move my hand out from under his. "Chibs was crying and I thought you died. Juice I can't lose you again."

He gave me a small smile. "Your arm?" He questioned.

I looked at my arm as if I didn't know what he was talking about. "Oh this?" I looked back at him. "You didn't seem to get all of the bullets, I got one in the shoulder and didn't know it until we got to the hospital." He frowned as I smiled slightly thinking about how crazy Happy had been. "Don't start with the frowning, Happy has already given me a hard enough time. He's been keeping a close eye on me." I said quietly. My eyes started to fill with tears again and were close to spilling over when Juice moved his hand off of mine and touched my face. I pushed my face against his hand and closed my eyes. So much had changed in my heart over those last 24 hours, I knew how much I needed Juice in my life. "I love you." I whispered just after I said it I heard Juice's breathing hitch. I swiftly opened my eyes thinking his was having trouble breathing again. He was staring back at me with a strange look on his face. "Are you okay?" I asked quickly.

Juice nodded and then said, "I never thought I would hear you say those words to me again." I hadn't even realized that I had said I love him until after they came out of my mouth. He looked at me tentatively as if he may have heard me wrong.

I swallowed hard because I knew I wanted to let him back in. "It's true. I never stopped but if we are going to work, I need to trust you. Granted you saving my life has helped a lot. If you were to ever cheat on me again…" I paused as I wondered if this was a good time to talk about us. He took my hand into his and looked at me as if to urge me on. I took a deep breath and then continued, "…I don't think I would be able to handle it. You know how you said you didn't want a world where I didn't exist?" I asked him. He stared at me and nodded. "Well let's just say, I wouldn't exist anymore. It would kill me." I let it stay at that; thinking about how broken I felt when I found him with the croweater.

Juice was silent for a while and was going to start to say something but as he opened his mouth Jax walked in.

"Well it's good to see you awake, brother." Jax announced happily as crossed to the opposite side of the bed and sat in the chair next to it.

"Thanks, Jax." Juice said, his voice was raspy. I didn't know if I hadn't noticed it because I was so happy he was awake and alive or if it was because he had been talking for a while. "How are things with the Irish?" Juice asked. Always concerned with club matters over his own.

"Don't worry about that right now. Just worry about yourself and getting better." Jax smiled at me.

I smiled back at him. "I will let you two talk and see if anyone else wants to visit with you." I looked at Juice; I didn't really want to leave but I figured I would let some of the other club members go in and visit him.

"Alright." Juice squeezed my hand. I stood up and leaned in and kissed his cheek.

As I was walking out of the room I heard Jax say, "You have a good old lady, she put the chief of staff in his place last night." I smiled and shook my head, was that what made me a good old lady? As I was walking through the ICU to the waiting room I wondered if the other people who had family in there would be as lucky as I was. I wondered if they would be reunited with their loved ones or if they would be saying their last goodbyes to them. I exited the ICU and walked into the waiting room where I was greeted by happy faces.

"You should really stop, when people try to stop you, love." Chibs smirked at me. If he wouldn't have said anything I wouldn't have remembered how much I wanted to kill him.

"Maybe you shouldn't give me a fucking heart attack. You sent Rat to Tara's office and he had no clue about how Juice was…he just said come now and then you were teary eye. Fuck Chibs, I thought he was dead!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Wanted it to be a surprise."

"No you wanted to kill me." I laughed as I pushed him lightly in the shoulder.

He frowned at me. "Where's your body guard?"

I gave him a confused look but then realized he meant Happy. "Hap? I sent him to the club house. He was wound too tight, he needed to let off some steam." I said to him quietly. He knew I had Happy wrapped around my finger, he saw it when we were together. I knew Hap wouldn't want any of the other guys know, he wouldn't live it down, but Chibs understood for some reason.

"The boy needed it. I haven't seen him like that in a long time. He needs to either get fucked or to kill someone." He responded to me.

"Let's hope he's getting fucked and not the latter." I smiled at him. "Hey, if anyone wants to go in and see Juice please do it now because if you don't I am heading back in there." I announced. Tig got up from where he was sitting and quietly walked out of the room.

The rest of the afternoon went like that, a few guys would come out and some of the others would go in. There were members from a few of the other charters visiting as well. They hadn't left yet. I had went back in to visit a few more times but there was no more talk about us, because there was always someone else in the room with us. Finally the nurses had to kick everyone out so Juice could rest, they wanted him to get some sleep because they were talking about moving him to a room that was not in the ICU. I was thrilled to hear that.

It was nearly 9 at night when Happy came strolling into the waiting room. He looked more relaxed as he sat down next to me on the arm of the chair I was sitting in. "How's Juice?" He asked.

"Awake, well actually he should be sleeping. The nurses kicked everyone out, they were probably just pissed that there was so much commotion in their ICU. I am the only one who can go in there." I told him.

He looked down at me, "That's good. Why aren't you in there?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I want him to rest and if I am in there he won't. He keeps looking at my arm like he did it to me." I shook my head. "He isn't seeing that he saved my life, he is seeing that I still ended up taking a bullet."

"He's doing what he should do." Happy said quietly. "Want to take a walk with me?" He stood up.

"Sure." I stood up, "Let me go tell the nurse just in case anything happens." Happy nodded and waited by the entry way of the ICU waiting room that we had taken over. None of the other families came in there, they were probably too scared. I walked back up to Happy after speaking with the nurse.

Happy was quiet while we walked, when we got outside, it was dark out. Happy stopped me and looked at me. I couldn't read his expression, it was like he was searching for something. "You were right earlier." He confessed to me. I gave him a confused look. "When you said I was smothering you."

"Listen Hap…" I started but he stopped me from telling him I was sorry and to forget about it.

"You were right by telling me that because I was…Kylee, you are the only other woman other than my family that I have loved; that I have allowed in." He said gently. "I'm scared shitless of losing you. After seeing that you were shot and then you passed out. Ky…I…"He trailed off.

"It's fine Hap." I wrapped my arm around him and placed my head on his chest. He placed his arms round me softly taking care that he didn't squeeze my shoulder. I realized how hard it was to admit that to me, or to himself for that matter. "Don't worry…your secret is safe with me." I looked up at him. He gave me a small smile and then kissed my forehead. "I might have to tell the guys that you got all girly on me though." I teased.

Happy glared at me as I pulled away and smiled broadly at him. "You're lucky, I like you little girl. You know I wouldn't let any other old lady or croweater pull half the shit you pull."

"Happy you wouldn't let your brothers pull half the shit I pull." I smiled at him.

"True." He smirked at me. "I would have decked anyone of them if they would have told me to go get my dick sucked or to get fucked." He gave me a sideways glance as we walked back towards the hospital.

"Oh believe me I know, I was almost waiting for it…thanks for not ruining my face." I said to him.

"I would never hurt your pretty little face." Happy said as he pinched my cheek.

"Ouch." I pouted at him. He just smirked.

When we got back upstairs there was some commotion at the ICU desk. I should have recognized the cheap hair extensions from the other night but I didn't. Happy and I stopped short of the waiting room because Rat was in the hallway near a blonde woman. _Macking on a grieving family member?_ I thought to myself, as I started to go into the waiting room but then heard the woman's voice.

"What do you mean I can't see him?" The woman shrilled. "Rat tell them who I am!"

"I am sorry ma'am but we are only allowing Mr. Ortiz's immediate family in the room right now." The nurse said with annoyance in her voice. I realized that they were talking about Juice so I turned my attention to the commotion.

There was silence for a second, "I _AM_ immediately family, I am his wife, Dayzee Ortiz." I stiffed up as I watched the back of the woman's head. I, then realized it was the same bitch from the other night at the club house.

"Oh." The nurse said, it was a different nurse from when Happy and I walked outside, she was one that I hadn't seen before or she would have known that the woman was lying. "Well let me just clear it with your husband's doctor then." The nurse was picking up the phone as I stormed over to the desk.

"What are you doing here?" Dayzee growled at me. She was wearing a tight black dress and high heels again.

I gave her a dirty look. "I should be asking you the same thing!" I turned to the nurse. "I would like you to know that she is not Mr Ortiz's wife."

Dayzee gave me a gasping look like I had the audacity to call her out on her lie, "How dare you say I am not married to him. We have been married for years."

I let out an annoyed laughed as I glared at her. "You are seriously delusional!"

"I am sorry ma'am," the nurse turned to me. "But she says she is Mr Ortiz's wife I have no reason not to believe her."

I nodded my head, "Okay well then why is she just showing up now?" The nurse looked over at her, "Or maybe you should ask her what Mr Ortiz's actual name is or when they were married or why he saved my life when she should have been with his wife?" I growled, I was getting pissed off and if she said the wrong thing I was going to snap, bullet wound or not.

Dayzee looked shell shocked by my pushing. Rat knew me well enough that I was close to my breaking point. He stepped away, probably to get Happy or Chibs. "His name is Juan Carlos. He asked me to marry him when we were in Rouge River together for one of his friend's birthday…"She paused collecting more lies. "I am sure he saved you because he thought it would be the right thing to do even though we all know that you are just some slut who has been with all the guys."

_Strike two bitch._ I thought.

"I wasn't here because I have been mourning the death of my best friend, Donna and her family." She tried to get fake tears to come out of her eyes.

"Oh no you didn't BITCH." I was just about to throw a punch when a strong hand grabbed my arm. I whipped around quickly, it was Happy.

"You don't want to get kicked out of here do you?" He said quietly to me.

"I just want to rip that whore's hair out, please just let me." I was pretty much whining at him. As I tried to control my rage, but it was a fire that was burning intensely from deep within my soul.

"Mrs. Ortiz?" The nurse called, I turned my attention to her.

"Yes?" I replied before Dayzee could say anything. I glowered at her as it clicked in her head what was going on.

"Um?" The nursed looked confused as she looked between the both of us.

"This woman has been lying to you. My name is Kylee Ortiz and I am Juice's wife. I have been for a hell of a lot longer than she said she has been. If you think I am lying to you, please find Dr. McMahon, he knows who I am or Dr. Tara Knowles." I glared over at the stupid blonde who was now fidgeting. I didn't know if was because she found out who I was, if she was caught in her own lie or if it was because Chibs and Bobby were standing by her side.

"Come on, lass. Why don't we take you for a walk outside?" Chibs took by the shoulder.

I smiled, "I think I need some fresh air." I turned on my heels and followed them outside.

"But I thought she just came in, why does she…"I heard Rat's voice behind me.

"Shut the fuck up Rat and think about it." Bobby's voice said with slight annoyance.

Happy looked at me as we walked outside. "What?" I looked over at him.

"Just thinking about how much I like chick fights." He smirked at me.

"I hope that the doctor did a good job suturing my arm." I said to him as I walked up to Dayzee who was standing next to Chibs. I tilted my head as I sized her up. She was taller than I was but then again she had shoes on that added another six inches on me. "I thought Juice made it clear that you were over." My voice was full of venom.

"He just said I had to leave you alone and told me I needed to learn my place." She shot back. "He never said we were over."

I raised my eye brows at her. "Really so you thought it would be a good idea to come to the hospital and lie about being his wife so what you could go see him?" I walked closer to her as she took a step back. "Do you really think that he would take you back?"

"I am going to be his old lady!" She yelled at me.

"I am sorry love but that job's been filled." Chibs chimed in.

"By who?" She looked over at Chibs. "By her?" She nodded towards me. "She is just some croweater, who thinks she is his wife!" Chibs shook his head at her, she was living in a fantasy world.

I smiled at her as I took advantage of her distraction to shove her. "How dare you think that _MY_ husband would ever make you his old lady? I have never been a croweater nor will I ever be unlike you, you are just a faceless cheap fuck to him. Something to fill the emptiness, well guess what it didn't work. He would never have loved you."

"I will not let you stand in my way. I've seen the rings he is going to give me. I could have made him love me." She was blood fucking delusional! Juice really did pull in the crazies…wait did that mean I was crazy?

"Those are my rings you stupid whore." I was close enough to her to throw a punch with my left arm, which hit her hard in the side of head. She unfortunately remained steady. She charged me and shoved me hard in my right shoulder. I let out a blood curdling scream as pain shot through my shoulder and into every part of my body. Since I was already in pain, I decided to pull my arm out of the sling and I threw a punch with my right arm…contact directly in the mouth.

"Mmmm…you stupid bitch!" She screamed out at me as she spit blood out of her mouth. She tried to charge at me again but this time I was ready for her and kicked her hard enough to knock her to the ground. While she was on the ground I kicked her in the side hard.

"Stay away from Juice, stay away from SAMCRO or next time I see you I will kill you." I turned to walk away from her but then stopped and turned back. "Oh and if you are thinking about going to the police with this maybe you should ask Ima what happened when she did. Slut." I said calmly as I walked away.

"Skag." Chibs spit on her.

Happy and Chibs didn't intervene, they probably knew I needed to take out my frustration out on her. They knew she overstepped her boundaries and had what was coming to her. If it had been another guy who would have done that, they would have killed him. I just beat the shit out of the girl, she would heal. Truth of the matter was I felt so much better after that. I felt like all the frustration that I had built up inside of me over what happened between Juice and I finally melted away.

"Wow that felt good." I smiled as we walked into the building.

"Glad we could help." Chibs smiled over at Happy.

"Wait did you two know she was here?" I asked.

"Thought we would give you a little gift." Happy looked over at me. "It was fucking hot by the way." He smirked. I rolled my eyes at him

"We just didn't know how crazy she really was. I can't believe that she thought Juice was going to marry her." Chibs ran his hands over his head. "You did a good job sweetheart." He placed his hand on the small of my back.

I couldn't help but wonder if this was their way of helping me heal after everything that had happened. It certainly helped and I was left feeling loved, grateful and blessed.

**A/N: Again thank you all for your support! It is such a blessing, you are the reason that there is a story about Juice and Kylee. Feel free to let me know what you think****. **


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

It was the day that Juice was finally going to be released from the hospital. It had been three long weeks of ups and downs with his health but finally he continued to improve enough where Dr. McMahon was okay sending him home. I had only started staying at my house when I knew Juice was out of the woods. I felt responsible for what happened to him even though everyone reminded me that I was not the one who pulled the trigger that day. Still I should have said something to them about Matthew, it might have saved Juice from being shot. I was just glad that Juice had made it through and I wouldn't have another death to deal with. I didn't think I had it in me but then again I didn't think I would make it through Juice cheating on me either and I did.

I walked into Juice's room where he was sitting on the edge of his bed putting on his shoes. He looked up when he heard me enter; he smiled, "I cannot wait to break out of this place, it's almost as bad a jail."

I shook my head at my handsome husband, "Almost as bad? What would have made it just as bad?" I sat next to him and held the box that Jax had given me to give to Juice on my lap.

"I didn't have a beautiful woman in bed with me most nights." He gave me a sideway glance.

I looked over at him and gave him a pretend look of shock, "But you had Bobby." I teased, "I will tell him you didn't appreciate his cuddles during your incarceration."

"Now, now don't dismiss what Bobby and I shared." Juice teased back as he kissed me on the cheek.

Things had just fell back into place for us. I don't know if it was easy because I thought that I was going to lose him for a third time and potentially forever. Or if I realized how incredibly fleeting and painfully short life could be. It wasn't worth being angry and hurt over things anymore, especially when it came to the ones I loved. The truth was I loved Juice, I had always loved him with every fiber of my being.

"Oh here, I almost forgot." Juice leaned over to the table next to his bed and grabbed a sheet of paper; he handed it to me. I furrowed my brow at him, "just look at it." I looked down at the paper and it stated that he was STD free. He had gotten tested without us even discussing it. "I wanted to be sure that I didn't have anything before we decided to move forward." The women he had been with while I was gone was a quiet elephant in the room, I was sure that one day it would be addressed. At that point, I tried hard not to think about them and I am sure Juice tried hard not to think about me and AJ.

I smiled at him. "This is for you… as much as I would like to say it is from me it's not. It's from the club." Juice took the rectangle shaped box from me and opened the top.

He pulled out his new cut, his old one had been riddled with bullets and blood. "What happened to my old cut?" He looked over at me, there was a bit of sadness in his eyes. Had he really bonded that closely to his other cut? It was just a piece of leather, it wasn't like it had a soul. But as I thought about it a lot of memories went with that old cut, even for me. That was the cut he was wearing the first time we met, when he came to Northern Ireland, when he asked me to marry him and the one he wore when he saved my life.

"I'm sorry, it didn't make it. I am pretty sure that the club had a burial for it." I teased as I watched him stand up and put the cut on. "A new cut, a new start." I stood up and kissed his warm pink lips.

"Ack, get a room." I heard behind me. I turned to find Chibs and Jax standing in the door way. "I see you gave the boy his gift before we could get here."

"Yes and for your information we had a room. You just happened to walk into it." I stuck my tongue out at him. Chibs smirked at my cheekiness and wrapped his arm around my waist careful not to grab onto my shoulder. My arm was no longer in a sling but it was still in the process of healing and some days were better than others. The fight I had gotten into with Dayzee caused some of my sutures to come apart, which meant it had to be repaired. Unfortunately for me, I had to have my wound re-sutured while I was awake; needless to say it was painful. Thankfully, I was on the mend.

Juice smiled at Jax and Chibs, "Thank you for the cut." He ran his hand down the new leather. It made the room smell lovely even if it was a bit over powering.

Jax lightly smacked Juice on the shoulder, "We couldn't have you come back without a cut. The patches are all yours the leather is just new. We kept your other one at the clubhouse for you, brother."

"So when are we having a party to welcome Juice and Kylee back to the land of the living?" Chibs chimed in, squeezing me tightly in the process.

I saw Juice tense up at the mention of a party, I knew he was thinking about the last actual SAMCRO party we attended, and how it ended with me in tears and Dayzee with her ass on the floor. Of course I do think he cared about the Dayzee part.

"I think it will have to wait a little bit. I just want to go home and enjoy the company I have there." His eyes looked me up and down, taking every inch of me in. I could feel heat in my cheeks. Damn it. I flushed more. I knew he would have liked to go to a party and he was only doing it for me. He didn't want me to doubt him.

I smiled at him. "How about you guys throw him a party Friday night? It gives the other charters in the area some time to come if they want." I suggested. I knew I would be tested with the amount of croweaters around but I needed to get used to it; they were not going anywhere and I wasn't planning on it either. They also needed to know that Juice was off limits and if they had any sense they would all stay away.

"Sounds good love." Chibs said, "I'm going to get right on that." He kissed the side of my head as he released me and walked out of the room, just as Dr. McMahon walked in.

"Hello Juice…Kylee." He nodded at me with a smile.

After talking with him a while Juice was in the ICU for a week; I found out his parents were from Cork and moved to the US just before he was born. We bonded over our love of Ireland. He was the only doctor other than Tara that I would have trusted with Juice's care. I was also glad to see he was using the name, Juice instead of Juan Carlos, it seemed like he actually listened to what we were saying to him; like Juice mattered to him and he was more than just a dollar sign at the end of the day.

"Doc. I hope you're here to kick me out." Juice smirked over at me. I knew what was on his mind because it had been on mind for a least a week. He tried to get in my pants several time but the nurses would always interrupt. I was actually grateful for their intrusion. I didn't want the first time I was back with Juice to be somewhere sterile like a hospital.

Dr. McMahon rubbed his dark auburn beard and smiled over at me and Juice. "Yeah, I am here to kick you out. As much entertainment you have added to my life; it is time for me to say goodbye. Two pieces of advice, listen to your body so you don't overdo things and stay out of trouble. I don't want to see you back here."

Juice snorted and then laughed, "Don't worry Doc, I don't want to be back here either." He shook Dr. McMahon's hand. I realized how much I had missed seeing Juice in his cut. I had become so accustomed to him being in the ugly white and blue hospital gowns, so it was nice to see him in something other than that.

"Alright Mr. Ortiz, you are free to go." Dr. McMahon smiled and nodded at me as he started towards the door to leave and go round his other patients. I wish he knew how dreadfully grateful I was to him; he saved Juice's life and my sanity on many occasions when Juice seemed like he was taking a turn for the worse.

Juice took my hand into his and kissed my knuckles. "We should go home." He whispered in my ear, his voice was full of hidden motives. My body burned with need for him. It had been too long since I been with Juice in any way other than gentle touches and innocent caresses. I couldn't wait to be alone with him; where we wouldn't be interrupted by nurses or visitors. A place where we could lock ourselves away from the world and be alone.

SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA SOA

"Ah, home sweet home." Juice smiled contently at me as we walked into the front door. It was strange, to be walking through the door with him, it was something that I never thought would happen again. We had talked while he was in the hospital about him moving back in and I had decided it was the best thing.

The electricity that had been building between us while we were in the car erupted inside me; I pushed Juice up against the wall and kissed him. The kiss felt so right, it felt like home, it set me on fire. I ran my hands under Juice's shirt over his abs. He groaned against my mouth. He pushed me back breaking our kiss short, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He had concern in his hooded eyes.

His question brought me back to the last time we were in my house together; we fought. It also brought back the memory of our fight before I ran from Charming. I bit my lower lip, "Let's make happy memories in this house again." I took his hand into mine and walked towards the bedroom. I knew he was concerned about pushing things too quickly but I wanted to get reacquainted with his body and the way it made me feel. I would have been lying though, if I said I wasn't nervous about have sex with Juice. It had been a very long time since I had coveted his body. I flushed red just thinking about it.

Juice turned me to face him as we got into the bedroom. "You're blushing." He smirked at me as he touched my face gently. "Don't worry you're not the only one who is nervous about this." He whispered into my ear before he softly nipped at my lobe.

I greedily pulled his shirt over his head and noticed that around his neck my rings dangled. He touched them, unclasped the necklace and took my hand into his and placed my rings in it. I looked down at the symbol of our love in my hand, he had held on to our love all the years I had been away. He had always held on to the hope that I would come back to him. My heart swelled as I placed them back onto my left ring finger.  
I bit my lip as I looked up at him to marvel at his previously flawless skin was now marred by angry red scars. I ran my hand over one them that was on his pectoral muscle, guilt washed over me; those scars were all my fault. I placed my lips on the scar, I wanted to kiss away the memories and the pain. Juice's breathing hitched, as I moved my way across his chest kissing the scars. Tears filled my eyes, it broke my heart that he went through so much because of me.

Juice pulled me up to face him, "Hey." He said quietly as he wiped the tears from my face. "There is no need to cry." He pulled me close to him and kissed me hard. His hands moved the hem of my shirt, where he took no time at all to pull it up and parted from me only to pull the shirt over my head. His eyes immediately went to the scar on my right shoulder. "Look matching scars." His hand ran over it.

I let out a snort. He was trying to make light of the situation. "Juice…" I started but his mouth assailed mine. He made his point, stop thinking about it and live in the moment. My mind was back in the present and allowed my body to feel all the sensations that Juice giving it. Juice ran his hands down my spine, it sent chills throughout my body. He ran them back up again but stopped when he hit the clasp that held my bra on. I could feel him unlatch it and he continued running his hands up my spine to my shoulders, where he gently removed the straps of my bra from my shoulders. I had butterflies in my stomach and they were working overtime.

Juice stepped back pulling my bra with him, leaving me standing there topless in front of him. "God, I've miss your perfect tits." Was all he said before he assaulted them with his mouth. His mouth was warm against my skin; I sighed softly; he knew how to get my body to react to him. He still knew what to do to me after two long years of being away from each other. I was burning from the inside out.

I backed us up so we were at the bed. I sat down on the edge and stared up at him at him through my lashes; my want reflecting his. He smirked at me, "Ky, I love you."

"I love you too, Juice." I said quietly as he into bed with me where we made love on and off for hours.

Juice had dozed off to sleep; I laid on my side next to him watching him sleep. Time could be such a fickle thing, sometimes she went too quickly and I could barely catch my breath and other time she went so excruciatingly slow it hurt. My life away from Juice had been one of those moments that went too slowly, because my life didn't have meaning without him.

I was just where I needed to be…HOME with the man I loved, my reason to live.

_**A/N: Huge apology for taking so long on getting this last chapter out. I have been so caught up in writing my other fanfiction and I didn't want to say goodbye to Kylee and Juice. If you want to know what happens to them…there will be a short epilogue in the coming days. I promise. **_

_**Thank you all for your support throughout this journey on my very first fanfiction story. You're all amazing and I just don't know how to thank you enough!  
I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. **_


	34. Epilogue

Epilogue: Juice

I walked out into the back yard where the voices and laughter of friends and children intermingled. Kylee had been a mess trying to plan McKenna's 5th birthday party for weeks, if not months. She even had to enlist help from Tara and Gemma, who were of course more than happy to help with any plans. This was Kenna's golden birthday and she had special guess flying in from Northern Ireland to partake in the festivities. I walked up from behind Kylee, who was watching Kenna play with Thomas Teller. I ran my hand across her swollen belly, who would have thought we would be expecting baby number two in a matter of a month. It felt like it was just yesterday and not five years since we welcomed McKenna Donna into this world…

_I watched my beautiful wife walk through the door of the club house, she was absolutely radiant and glowing. But I had heard that is what pregnancy did to a woman. Kylee walked up next to me and gave me a kiss. "You look so beautiful." I said to her, she had on a dress which was a surprise to me, she had taken to wearing leggings and maternity tops so a dress was a nice change. I had enjoyed watching her body change as our child grew inside of her. I had found myself wondered if she ever missed the child she had lost years before, the child that she had stolen from her so tragically. Kylee was certainly protective enough over the one she carried; she would be a fierce mother._

_ "I am a bloody cow!" Kylee rolled her eyes at me, as I gave her a stern look, she had been down on herself for days about how massive she had gotten. I kept trying to tell her that I thought she was perfect and she had to remember she was carrying our child. "What? I am! But I appreciate your compliment." She conceded with a frown. _

_ Ky suddenly squeezed her eyes tight, she held her belly with both hands and took slow deliberate breaths. I was sure she was trying to remember what they had taught us at the birthing classes she made me go to with her. I took shit from the guys for weeks, they would make puffed breathing noises when I was around and ask me if they were doing it right; assholes. I would have done it all over again if Kylee asked because it made her happy._

_ "Are you okay?" I asked with concern. Our baby wasn't due for another week and a half but had already been showing signs of an early arrival. She had had her own plans for this birth. _

_ Tears slid down Ky's face that were not there moments before, "Either I just peed myself or my water just broke." She glanced down towards the floor were there were several small drops of a clear fluid. "Oh my god we are going to have a baby." She smiled through her tears. _

_ Fourteen long hours later we held our beautiful baby girl in our arms. _

That happened five years ago and it had been almost six years since Kylee came back to Charming. Building our marriage back up was an uphill battle but we made it and we were stronger for it.

"Happy Lowman, don't you dare let her touch that cake!" Kylee scolded Happy who was holding McKenna over her birthday cake her little finger just hovering above pristine looking frosting. He had always indulged Kenna from the day she was born. "If I see one little finger print in it I will have your balls." Ky threatened idly to Happy as she walked over and poked our daughter in her sides and tickled her. She was just like her mother, strong willed and beautiful, she had Kylee's large eyes but they were as brown as mine. She also had my dark, thick hair which Ky cursed daily as she had to brush out the tangles that collected in it. She threatened to cut it every single day but I knew she would never do it unless Kenna really wanted to; we spoiled her rotten, she was not left wanting.

Kylee and McKenna's laughter filled the air; that was by far my favorite sound in all of this world. It warmed my soul and made me feel like such a blessed man. I couldn't have asked for anything more in life; we were surrounded by our family. I had the most beautiful wife and daughter and another child on the way. How did I become so lucky? I often thought back to the day my wife walked out of my life because of my stupidity and I never took Kylee for granted.

"Juice? Juice…" Kylee smiled at me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Come on Daddy…Grampy Chibs says I can open my presents because it's my day and I can do whatever I want." McKenna placed her tiny hand into mine and pulled me towards the table that held piles of gifts for her. She was certainly spoiled.

"Whatever you want huh?" I laughed, I would have like to see how that went over with Kylee. "You better not tell Mommy that is what Grampy Chibs said or she will have his balls with Uncle Happy's."

Kenna laughed and shook her head. "Daddy, you're so silly. Let's open presents!"

* * *

Three weeks has passed since McKenna's birthday party and things had went back to normal in the Ortiz household. I brought Kenna to her preschool, before I went to the clubhouse, Ky hadn't been feeling well that morning and stayed in bed.

"Where's Ky?" Happy asked as I walked into the clubhouse. "Wasn't she supposed to help Gemma?"

I shook my head, "She wasn't feeling well this morning. I took Kenna to school and if Ky finds out I let her ride on my bike she is going to put my balls on our mantle with everyone else's." I smirked.

"Your secret is safe with me. Ky has been hell on wheels this pregnancy. I don't envy you, brother." Happy laughed. He knew just which buttons to push when it came to Kylee and he did whenever he got a chance. She gave it back just as much as he put out; their relationship was something special and I would have been lying to say I didn't have moments of jealously when we got back together. Things between them were smooth and effortless, while things between Kylee and I had been a struggle. It took her ages before she trusted me again and still to this day I catch her glaring at the Croweaters. She certainly never trusted them again and they knew better than to cross her.

Several hours later I was out with Tig taking care of some club business and my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. At first I ignored it, but when it started up again I excused myself and answered it.

"Juice?" Ky's voice was panicked and I could tell she was crying.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I need you to get me to the hospital. I…." I could hear her sob quietly as she endured a contraction. "Baby..is coming." Was all she managed to get out before she hung up the phone.

"Fuck, Tig I have to go." I turned quickly to my bike. "Kylee is in labor." I smiled broadly.

Tig smiled back at me, "Yeah brother go ahead. I can finish up with the Mayans."

The ride home felt like it took forever, I couldn't get there fast enough. When I walked through the door I found Ky on the couch with her eyes closed. "I called Happy, he is going to pick Kenna up from school and bring her to Tara and Jax's house." She said quietly as she rubbed the side of her belly as if to sooth the baby. "My bag is in the bedroom next to my dresser and the baby's is in its room on the changing table." I started towards the rooms, we had decided to not find out the sex of this baby; we wanted to be surprised. We just wanted a healthy child and we would love it regardless of the sex. Kylee thought it was a boy, I would catch her referring to it as him or he...if she was convinced then maybe it was.

We arrived at the hospital and were transferred to the maternity ward immediately because Ky's contractions were coming hard and strong. Here was to hoping she wouldn't have to suffer through another 14 hour labor like she did with Kenna. A nurse checked Kylee, who silently endured another contraction. "Kylee, hold my hand and squeeze when you need to."

She glanced up at me with tears oozing down her face. I felt so helpless. "We are never having sex again!" She growled through gritted teeth. I repressed a laugh, Ky had said the same thing to me when she gave birth the first time. "I saw that Juan Carlos," she remarked.

"Well Mrs. Ortiz, it looks like you're going to be ready to push here in a matter of minutes. I am going to get the doctor and we'll deliver this baby for you." The nurse said, enthusiastically.

Minutes was right the doctor had barely made it into the room before Kylee felt the need to push. Ten minutes later she gave birth to a baby boy with a full head of dark hair. Declan Carlos Ortiz, he was the most beautiful, I had seen since his sister.

We sat there later that evening after our guest had all left with Declan to ourselves. I sat next to Kylee in her bed and held her in my arms as she held Declan in hers. She smiled up at me, "I feel so complete right now." She said quietly as looked back down at our son who was fast asleep. "I love you so much, Juice."

Our life was complete. I felt so content with our life together, we would never be the perfect couple but we would always work through our troubles and it made us stronger. The day that Kylee walked into her brother's funeral was the best day of my life…I would never regret taking a leap in love with her. She completed me, she truly was my better half.

The End.

_**A/N: Thank you for going through this journey with Kylee and Juice. Also thank you for being so patient with me and getting this final chapter out. It hard because I had to say goodbye to a character who had been a part of my life for a long time. If it wasn't for all you guys who read my story and left comments, I probably wouldn't have continued writing this story or started my new one. You are all fabulous and I hope you have enjoyed Juice and Kylee's story as much as I did.  
Cheers and keep on reading…ps please feel free to check out my other SOA story if you haven't. **_

_*****I do not own any of the rights to any of the Sons of Anarchy characters or places in this story…I only own the rights to my OCs.  
**_


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